Chapter Three: Day Two

Daniel woke, feeling refreshed and relaxed for the first time in ages. He hadn't even realized how tense he had been until it all just fell away. He sat up and realized Jack wasn't in bed and Malachi wasn't in his crib. He frowned, Jack was still the early riser in the relationship but he rarely left without Daniel. He shuffled off the bed, slipping his feet into the slippers and grabbed the robe that was laid over the edge of the bed. He wrapped it around himself, comforted from the warmth over his undershirt and sleep pants. He walked out of the room and downstairs where he could hear Jack talking to someone, probably Malachi given the happy funny tone he was using. It was the tone of voice he always used with the kids when they were younger.

He smiled as he walked down the rest of the way and found Jack in the kitchen with Malachi in his high chair. He looked over to the living room to find Janet and Claire in there with Johnny. Zada and Zale were nowhere in sight at the moment but part of vacation was not having a wake up call and schedules to follow. For now he wasn't going to bother them, Zale had been so emotional the day before and he needed time clearly.

So he walked into the kitchen, hearing the happy baby sounds coming from his son in the high chair so with a smile, he walked over to kiss Malachi on the head before he turned and hugged Jack from behind. The retired general seemed to be making a mountain of pancakes, a plateful of scrambled eggs, with ham and bacon. "You need any help Jack?" he asked as he reached down to swipe a small pancake to munch.

"Nope, but Malachi's food is ready if you want to feed him first."

Daniel took the proffered plate then moved to sit next to their youngest child, and helped him to start eating. He watched as the other children showed their faces one at a time to get some food. Daniel smiled at them, giving them kisses and hugs when they came over to him and Malachi.

"What are we going to do today?" Janet asked, between bites.

"Whatever we want to do, we got to stay close unless we're together," Daniel said with a smile. He knew that Jack didn't have much of an agenda either since this was a vacation of sorts. It was strange to think they were so far from the Vannas, Sam and Teal'c and everyone but at the same time it was liberating not having all those people a part of their morning, noon and night. Without Sam and Teal'c, they didn't have the extra weirdness between Jack and Sam. Without Zarkina and her royal family, Jack and Daniel could be together without all the extra magic getting in the way. Without Greer, Johnny was just their son and that was all Daniel needed and he knew that Johnny was destined to be a big part of Greer's life and there was nothing he could do to stop that but here, for a little while, he could just be Johnny Jackson-O'Neill.

He looked up from his breakfast when Zale and Zada came down looking rumpled from sleep and relaxed as well. Daniel wanted to get up and kiss Jack for forcing this particular issue, just to see his eldest children calm for the first time in far too long.

They settled to eat some breakfast and Daniel allowed the kids to decide whether or not they wanted to have language training that morning, mostly it was for show anymore because they were fluent in five languages now. This was vacation after all. It didn't stop him from preening when they started speaking in Aramaic, they weren't talking about anything important really, just day to day living of their friends back home and what they were learning in school. Daniel listened with one ear though most of his attention remained on Zale who seemed to need this more than anyone else. He ate his breakfast and watched his son while Malachi finished as well. Jack swooped in and cleaned up Malachi before releasing the little one to crawl away on the floor. Daniel helped Jack clean everything up while the children wandered off to get changed for the day.

The fathers were left alone after a moment and Daniel looked over to Jack, "I think I would like to take some time with Zale this morning, go for a walk with him and ask him about what's going on."

Jack smiled, "Sounds like a plan, I was going to stick close to here, maybe play some games with the others. Did you want to take Malachi with you, we have the stroller."

Daniel smiled and nodded, leaning over and pressed a kiss to Jack's shoulder before he moved away, leaving his love to finish the job in the kitchen. He would gladly take on lunch if he had the chance this morning to spend some time with his first son. Zale was his first foray into the world of parenting, of fatherhood, Zada too but his eldest daughter seemed to be her happy normal self much of the time. Zale needed him and he was going to find out how he could help, even if it meant he was just able to listen.

He found his way up to the boys' room and knocked, hearing Zale inside granting entrance. Johnny was already dressed and slipped past Daniel, hugging him before he raced down to the kitchen again. Daniel smiled and was able to make one pass over Johnny's soft hair before the boy was gone.

"Hey Z, did you want to go for a walk with Malachi and me? Keep us safe and we can talk for a little while?" Daniel asked gently, allowing there to be room for Zale to tell him no if that's what he wanted. He didn't think Zale would say it because he was too much like Daniel for his own good sometimes. He was selfless to a fault and would do what he must to be of service to everyone but himself sometimes.

"Sure Dad," Zale said and though he didn't sound as resigned as Daniel was expecting he didn't sound excited at the prospect either. Daniel could see why Jack had said something the day before about the 'Pop' thing, Zale had stopped calling him Daddy a month before and it still stung a little though he didn't want Zale to feel bad about growing up, he had the right to.

"Meet you downstairs when you're ready?" Daniel asked again, giving him one more out. When Zale looked over his shoulder with his patented 'Jack' look that said 'knock it off, I am coming with', Daniel just smiled and walked back out of the room. If it wasn't for the fact that he figured Zale really needed some alone time, he would offer to take Johnny to but that was not the plan for this morning anyway. Maybe he and the boys could all do something later, or they could go with Jack. Daniel just shrugged, figuring they had time to figure it out.

By the time he had Malachi tucked and strapped into his stroller, with a stuffed toy gripped in his fingertips and some snacks in a small bag slung over Daniel's shoulder, Zale was coming down the stairs with his sword at his waist and daggers in his boots. There was nothing about him that said little boy anymore and Daniel sighed, thinking about that. He shouldn't have to lose his little boy at thirteen and he wasn't, not really because despite the fact that Vannas can essential declare themselves independent any time after thirteen due to the way the Vannas lived and raised their children, Zale wasn't going to do the same. He had said more than once that he had no intention of leaving but at the same time, Daniel couldn't help but feel he'd already lost his son to the big bad world of adulthood.

"Dad," Zale admonished gently and he shook himself out of it, clearly his face was telling the story for his heart and that wasn't going to help Zale.

"You ready?" he asked with false cheer that quickly became real when Zale smiled and he saw himself in that expression. He looked down at Malachi who was staring up at them with his fist shoved halfway in his mouth, sucking slobber into his fist.

Zale called out, "See you later Pop."

Jack walked into the entry from the living room to smile as Zale walked outside and Daniel smiled to his husband, looking him up and down for a moment appreciating the view. Jack grinned, "See something you like Doctor?"

"Always Colonel," he returned, a little more breathless then he planned as he moved over and kissed Jack on the lips before he walked out the front door. Zale was there at the base of the steps to lift the stroller down then they were on their way. They walked into the trees, along a well-worn path that made the strolled move more smoothly.

They walked in silence, Daniel just listening to the quiet of the forest and the cooing of his toddler son. Daniel wouldn't mind letting Malachi out but he still wasn't completely solid on flat surfaces and the roots would trip him easily. After about three minutes, Zale sighed and said, "Did you want to talk Dad because you know how I feel about anxious silence!"

"About the way I feel about it," Daniel chortled, he knew his son couldn't deal with the silence, that he would do what he must to fill it if there was something to say and for Jacksons' there was always something to say.

"I don't know what to say or how to talk about this with you and Pop. I feel like I can't do anything right and all I do is feel feel feel!" the last word was hissed out angrily and Daniel reached out and pressed his hand to Zale's arm for a moment in comfort before he released him again. Zale was first and foremost a protector these days and he wouldn't want to feel awkwardly held back in case something were to happen. It was still why Jack and Daniel rarely held hands on walks unless they knew the area well.

Suddenly Zale stopped in the walkway and Daniel looked around, searching for the possible foe that his son was sensing then Zale's arms were suddenly around his chest though if he grew a little more, they around were around his shoulders and he was sniffling into Daniel's neck, the warm panting breath making Daniel's heart clench as he wrapped his arms around Zale's neck and pressed a kiss to his son's head. "It's going to be okay Z, growing up is tough sometimes. I know you feel like all you are doing is feeling right now but you're not alone my sweet boy."

Zale sighed, a little annoyed huff escaping at the endearment and Daniel smiled into his hair before he pulled back and pressed another kiss to Zale's forehead and pressed a warm palm into his cheek and neck. "I don't want to grow up so fast Daddy, I don't want to have someone in my head dictating when I should be a grownup and when I should leave you and Papa. I don't want it but there is nothing I seem able to do about it."

Daniel shook his son gently, "But you can Z! Xylander is your partner, not your boss. Be a child for as long as you want, Papa and I want you to be with us forever if we could keep you but I know that's not going to happen. You are going to figure this out."

Zale nodded but he looked down and away from Daniel and he wondered what all this was really about, "I don't want to disappoint you and Papa," he finally whispered.

"Zale you could never stop us from loving you, maybe every once in a while you might do the wrong thing but that will not stop us from loving you or accepting you. What's this about?"

"I was grappling with Zada, something snapped a little and I was so angry and then I zapped Papa."

Daniel sighed and wondered why Jack hadn't told him but then Jack was in vacation mode at the moment. Daniel shrugged it off since Jack was a grown up and he would talk to Daniel when he felt it was necessary. For now, he had an emotional pre-teen to deal with. It was strange to think so many years had passed that he was even the father of one pre-teen, let alone two of them. "Clearly if he didn't think it was important enough to tell me about it, it couldn't have been that bad. He's not hurt or cursed but you know better than to react with power instead of words Zale," he scolded gently and Zale nodded.

"I don't have the words for what I feel and what's happening inside me," Zale whispered.

Daniel reached down and grabbed his son's hands into his and shook them a little so he would look up and when Zale's bright blue eyes met the twin shade of his father's eyes Daniel spoke, "Show me like you have been doing since you were a child. Nothing you are feeling is too big for me, it's all worth it for me to know how to be here for you Z."

Zale nodded, tightened his fingers around Daniel's and he sank into the feelings that weren't his own. He'd learned from years with magical children and their abilities to share their emotions, to compartmentalize when he needed to. Daniel took a deep breath and released everything except the desire to be there for his son. He let it go just in time to sink into the torrent of Zale's emotions. They were turbulent as a storm at the center of his heart and soul. Daniel felt whipped by the wind of his sorrow and guilt over the things he'd done to survive, the burn of fear in the back of his throat and in the pit of his stomach at the thought of watching any of his family die and the overwhelming desire to just be a kid.

Zale pulled his hands away, leaving Daniel suddenly alone in his head and knew he'd only been feeling his son's emotions for less than a minute but being trapped and drowning it in made it feel like eternity. He reached out and tugged his son close again for another hug, "Oh Zale, you are not alone. Papa and I are with you and your sisters and brothers. This isn't always what it will be like, trust me please on this."

Zale nodded into his body, hands gripped around Daniel's back for a moment before Malachi made his displeasure at being ignored known to the world so Daniel and Zale broke off with a watery laugh and continued their walk.