Regina and Henry were sprawled out on Regina's bed when Emma returned with her errant textbook. "What are you two doing in here?" Emma asked.
"Hiding from Mother." Regina said.
"And Justin Timberlake," Henry added.
Emma shoved Regina toward the center of the bed and plopped down in her place. "If it bothers you that much, you can sleep in my room, kid."
"No way," Henry replied. "That poster of the dude drawing his arm freaks me out."
"Tell you what, next time we'll bring an Avengers poster for you. Cool?" Henry nodded, beaming at his mother.
"Next time?" Regina groaned. "Let's not think about next time." She dropped a pillow over her face.
Emma lifted a corner of the pillow. "It can't be that bad. She likes you. Sort of." She dropped the pillow back over Regina's head and patted it somewhere in the general vicinity of her face.
"It's not that bad," Henry said. "Aunt Regina is just tired from the grocery store trip, and the table centerpieces, and the vacuuming."
"Vacuuming? I thought the party was supposed to be outside."
Regina shoved the pillow aside. "People will have to come in to use the bathroom, Regina," she said in a perfect imitation of her mother's cool, clipped voice. "We can't have them thinking we're slobs."
Emma laughed. "You vacuumed? You don't vacuum. I vacuum." Emma did vacuum, and very well. It was part of the deal they'd struck when Emma had quit her job to go back to school. Regina paid the bills, and Emma did the cleaning. Regina was dreading the day when Emma finished school and reentered the working world, putting an end to the free maid service. Maybe she could pay Henry to vacuum, Regina thought. He was nine; surely he was old enough to handle a vacuum.
"Girls," Cora's voice drifted up the stairs. "It's time to start getting ready."
"Yeah," Regina muttered, "time to get ready. So go change those hideous jeans." She pushed herself up against the headboard, still clutching her pillow.
"Are you wearing that red dress with the cutout in the front?" Emma asked.
"I hadn't planned on it. Isn't this supposed to be a casual barbecue?"
"Better to be overdressed than underdressed. Clothes are armor, Regina," Emma said primly. "Besides, I saw some out-of-town guests at the diner when I stopped in to say hi to Ruby, and I think they'd be impressed by the red dress."
"What out-of-town guests?" Henry asked.
"Just some people I used to know," Regina said, ruffling his already messy hair. "Why don't you go get dressed?"
Henry pushed himself off the bed and shuffled out of the room. "It's ok if you don't want to tell me," he said over his shoulder. "Mary Margaret will. You know she can't keep a secret."
"Ask her anything, and I'll blow up a life-size picture of the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz and hang it right over your bed." Regina threatened and laughed as Henry raised his hands and backed slowly out of the room. "Won't ask. Don't want to know. I was never here."
"So," Emma said, sidling over to Regina's closet and eyeing her Calvin Klein boots, "Ruby said you made a new friend."
"What?"
"The British guy. She said you were making Bambi eyes at each other."
"Emma, I do not make Bambi eyes. I have never in my life made Bambi eyes, and I certainly wouldn't start with a strange man in a cheap restaurant."
"Oh, please. You practically melted into a puddle every time Chris Hemsworth came on screen during the Avengers. You really do like a man with an accent, don't you?"
Emma had a point, but Regina wasn't going to admit it. "Chris Hemsworth is a national treasure." Emma raised her eyebrows, waiting for Regina to continue. "He's a client. He works for the food bank and is here setting up the new space. I was just being polite." She picked at the pillowcase. "So, you saw Daniel and Zelena."
"Don't you change the subject on me, sister. Tell me about the Brit."
"There's nothing to tell," Regina said. "He's British. He was very nice. His company got me a good commission, so I was nice to him in return. End of story." The story left out the blue eyes and dimples and charm, but there was no way she was telling Emma about that part.
Emma had already zipped up one of Regina's boots and was sliding on the second. "Fine, don't tell me."
"I was going to wear those tonight, you know," Regina said dryly.
"They don't go with your red dress." Emma tossed a pair of black stilettos toward the bed. "These do. Now get ready."
Mary Margaret was waiting for them when they descended the stairs, all doe eyes and gamine innocence. She broke into a wide smile at the sight of Emma and enveloped her in a bear hug as soon as Emma hit the foot of the stairs. "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered into her sister's ear. Regina stepped gently past them and went to greet David, who looked more than a little apprehensive at being in the mayor's house. Regina couldn't blame him; Cora was eyeing him like he'd tracked in dog shit on his shoes. She extended an arm to hug him, a little surprised when he threw both his arms around her and kissed her cheek. She pulled back and glared at him. "I hope you haven't already been hitting the champagne," she said.
David laughed and shook his head. "No, not at all. I'm just glad you're here. Glad all this is happening finally."
Finally. Well, it had been a long time coming, considering that David had sworn to marry Mary Margaret back when they were both seventeen. Of course, David had also sworn to become the head of the FBI, and here he was, a small-town sheriff. He didn't seem to be worse the wear for the death of his teenage dream, though. In fact, he looked like a man who had stumbled upon the secret to life while walking his dog. Overjoyed at his good fortune, but more than a little confused about how it had all happened so fast.
David released her and turned to hug Emma, and Regina reached back to take Mary Margaret's hand. "You look beautiful, little Snow White. All glowing with happiness."
"And you, Rose Red. You're a knockout in that dress. Let's get the Swan Princess and go out to meet the guests. I think our Little Red Riding Hood has already taken up prime real estate at the bar."
An hour into the barbecue, Regina decided that this was going to be the longest night of her life. And quite possibly the worst. She'd been paraded in front of her parents' friends, smiling and nodding and giving all the correct, perfectly polite answers to their nosy questions. Three had asked her when she was getting married. Two had told her that they'd expected Cora to be throwing her wedding. And one, a spiteful old bitch that smelled faintly of cat litter, pointed out that she'd better get a move-on if she was planning to have kids. Regina was at the bar, waiting for the bartender to finish flirting with Ruby and refill her glass of champagne with a little bit of fizzy courage.
Then she saw Daniel and Zelena come in with their two little girls, all matching outfits and perfect smiles. Regina asked the bartender for a vodka soda instead. She took an unladylike swig of her drink and made a beeline for her apple tree, hoping to hide behind it until all the guests were gone.
"Not so fast," came a soft voice from behind her, and a familiar hand grasped her elbow. "You're not hiding from anyone tonight, Regina."
Kathryn. Thank God."It's about time you got here," Regina hissed.
"Sorry," Kathryn replied with a smile. "The babysitter was late. Now smile and look like you're having the time of your life. He's looking all over for you."
Regina smiled, all white teeth and determination. "A little softer, good lord. You look like you're about to eat me alive and then chew on my bones," Kathryn whispered.
She dropped her chin and laughed. "Sorry. I'm just a little bit on edge."
"No kidding. You look like you're about to start vibrating from all the tension." Kathryn paused. "You look fantastic, though."
Regina cocked an eyebrow at Kathryn. "Clothes are armor," they said in unison, repeating the words they'd been told a hundred times over in high school, and dissolved into giggles. "I'm glad you're here," Regina said to her oldest friend.
"Where else would I be? There's nothing good on TV tonight. Now come say hello to Frederick. He misses you, you know. Everyone around here is actually nice to him."
The night got a little bit easier after that. Regina and Kathryn laughed about old memories, and Kathryn teased Regina for abandoning them for the bright lights of the big city. Regina promised Kathryn that if she ever ditched Frederick, she'd always have a place to stay. Frederick rolled his eyes and apologized yet again for interfering in their great love story. Through it all, Kathryn kept her eyes peeled on the crowd, subtly shifting her body to block Regina from Daniel's constantly searching gaze. And every half hour or so, either Emma or Ruby would stop by with a fresh drink for Regina. Water, if it was Emma's turn, and vodka if it was Ruby's. After the second vodka soda, Regina finally started to relax. She hated being at home in Storybrooke, but it wasn't all bad, especially when she had friends watching her back.
Regina and Emma were regaling Kathryn and Frederick with the tale of a spectacularly bad blind date that Emma had set up for Regina when Henry crashed into her from behind, knocking her water loose and sending it spilling all over Emma's (not too tight) jeans. "Sorry, Regina, Mom," he breathed. "We're playing tag."
"Really? Now? Are you trying to get us all grounded?" Emma snapped.
"It's all adults here. It's really boring. We were just trying to have some fun," Henry said, gesturing to his playmates. Two little girls with red hair and matching dresses. "This is Rachel and Meredith. David's their cousin."
"Go play in the side yard," Emma said, waving them off. "The kid is too nice to strangers," she muttered to Regina.
"He certainly doesn't get that from me," Regina replied, turning back to Kathryn. She took one look at the wide-eyed look of panic on Kathryn's face, and her heart stopped. No need to guess who was coming up behind her.
"Sorry about that. The girls don't always pay attention to where they're going." She'd know that voice anywhere. Dammit.
She turned and offered Daniel a gracious smile. "Kids will be kids," she said. She crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling overdressed and underprepared.
"I guess they will," Daniel chuckled. "I seem to remember you running headlong into a few people in your day. The difference was, you were usually on a horse when you did it."
Oh, don't do that, she thought. Don't bring up those days like they're just bygones, happy memories to be revisited on holidays and summer vacations. "Daniel," she said coolly, hugging her arms tighter against her waist. "Good to see you."
"You too, Regina. You look great. Very happy." She smiled at that, a rote response that she'd been giving all evening, Yes, happy perfect Regina. Kathryn kicked her sharply, pointed heels meeting ankle bone. Right. No smiling.
"I'm glad you could be here. I know it means a lot to David and Mary Margaret." She cut her eyes at Emma, flicking her gaze down to her drink and back up. Emma disappeared without another word.
"So, Daniel," Kathryn cut in brightly, "How's Boston?" Regina didn't bother to listen for the reply; she was too busy once again looking for an escape route. A Blanchard never backs down from a fight, her mother's voice echoed inside her head. Regina pictured her father, hiding out at the golf course rather than dealing with his wife. A Mills does, she answered sullenly, but she steeled herself and brought her attention back to the somewhat stilted conversation at hand.
Oh, and how delightful. Just in time for Zelena to join their little group. "Regina," the redhead said, "how are you? Oh, it's so nice to see you again. It's been too long." It had been fourteen years since Regina had last laid eyes on her former nemesis. Not long enough.
"Zelena," she said through gritted teeth. "My mother tells me you have quite the impressive research job in Boston. Congratulations." Cora had mentioned that Zelena was studying infectious diseases at a university lab in Boston. Takes one to know one, Regina thought to herself.
"Oh, yes, we've made a lot of progress on MRSA infections. It's quite exciting really. But what about you? I hear that you're still in this area. And living with your stepsister. How sweet."
If one of those waiters had been standing nearby, Regina would have cheerfully liberated a toothpick from him and stabbed Zelena in the eyeball. Fortunately, she had the next best thing – Emma pressing a vodka soda into her hand. "Zelena, you remember Emma. My stepsister slash cousin slash roommate."
Zelena held out a hand to Emma. The blonde looked at the hand, and then gave Zelena a slow and disapproving once-over. Cora Blanchard Mills could not have done it better. "Uh huh," Emma said, and turned back to Regina. "They're starting the toasts, so our presence is requested." She dragged Regina away without another word.
"God, I hate her," Regina sighed, leaning into Emma's arm
"I know."
"Do you have a toothpick? I need a toothpick."
"Oh, Jesus, you do not," Emma said, not knowing what Regina meant, but knowing it wasn't good. She picked up her pace a little bit. "No more vodka for you."
True to her word, Emma refused to let Regina have another drink for the rest of the party, arguing that she wasn't going to be the one to get yelled at when Regina was useless with a hangover the next day. As a result, Regina was mostly steady on her feet when it was time to say goodnight to the guests. She stood between her mother and Mary Margaret, not sure how she'd gotten forced into the makeshift receiving line when it wasn't even her party, but the look that Cora had given her was enough to convince her to stay put.
Daniel, Zelena and their two girls came over to say goodnight, embracing Mary Margaret and David and offering best wishes. True to form, Zelena passed Regina over completely and air-kissed Cora. Daniel, though…Daniel grasped her hand in his and leaned down close enough that their foreheads were almost touching. "It was great to see you, Regina. I hope we can have a little bit of time to catch up while I'm here."
Regina smiled and nodded mechanically, pulling her hand a little more forecefully than necessary from Daniel's. "Thanks for coming," she said brightly.
As Daniel and his family walked down the driveway toward the valet, Cora sighed and rested her arm around Regina's waist. "I really hoped that idiot would never darken my doorway again," she said.
Her brain knew that it was a dig at much at herself and her childhood romance as it was at Daniel, but her heart was grateful for her mother's support. She leaned her head into Cora's shoulder, and felt her mother's arm tighten around her waist. "Me too, Mother," she said softly. "Me too."