"Sometimes, we need someone to accept us and love us first. Then, we would learn to see ourselves through that person's eyes and learn to love ourselves." - Sohma Yuki [Fruits Basket]
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Chapter 3
The school bell rung, the clock hand striking 12 noon and signalling it was break time. Krista was ready to leave her table when she took a side glance and realised that the brunette was indeed gone.
Right. As expected, I can't get close to her.
The blonde turned on her heels, her lunchbox in her hands. But after a single step, she had bumped into something, or rather someone. She pulled back immediately, apologising as she rubbed her nose. "S-sorry, I wasn't paying full attention to where I was-"
She paused in her words when she realised how huge the person in front of her was. She had to crane her neck all the way just to look into the eyes of the person. He was a blonde and he was probably about 180cm in height. The height difference was incredible.
"N-no. I'm the one who should apologise." The tall blonde man spoke up in a husky voice, he was scratching his head as he stared into blue orbs of the smaller blonde. He had a small blush evident on his face, as if he was captivated by the view he saw. In fact, he most probably was. "I-I wasn't looking where I went. Sorry if I had hurt you." He apologised.
Krista gave a smile to the taller blonde, showing that she was fine and that she had accepted the apology. "Well, then. Excuse me." Krista side stepped to her left, then walked off to finding a place to have her lunch.
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It took her 10 minutes to finally find a suitable, quiet place for herself. It was place behind the school building and there were benches there. She walked over, but as she got closer, she saw that someone had occupy a bench there.
Upon reaching the benches, she realised that it was Ymir who was sleeping on the bench, her arms crossed over her chest, her nodding slightly tilted downwards. Her messy brown hair was swaying in the small breeze that blew by. Krista was fascinated by the scene. She didn't realised that she had started staring at the brown with a strange expression on her face.
It took the blonde a few minutes until she snapped out of her daze. She gasped slightly to herself in realisation that she had been staring at Ymir's sleeping face. Krista shook her head twice then went to the bench beside Ymir's to settle down and start her lunch.
Even as the blonde ate, she took side glances to the sleeping brunette beside her. She looked peaceful. Krista could see the small movements the brunette's arm made as the brunette chest breathed.
She must be really tired.
Done with her lunch, she packed up and placed her lunchbox aside. Krista took out her phone to check the time and saw that it was only half time into the break. So the blonde decided to relax in her bench and maybe watching the brunette beside her till it was about time to return to class.
Unconsciously, the blonde had reached out a hand to the brunette's hair, brushing across it gently. Inch by inch, she got closer until she was right beside the brunette in the bench. The only thing that kept them apart them was the small gap that separated the two benches.
When the brunette had stirred, Krista froze in her actions. But when the stirring stopped, the blonde continued caressing the brunette's hair gently. She felt so addicted to the action. It was like she was drawn in by an unnatural force to this brunette that was right in front of her.
Afraid that she would end up doing something wrong, Krista abruptly stood up, stopping her actions. A second later, she dashed off in the direction of the classroom.
Why do I feel this way?
As she ran, she could feel her body heating up. Her heart was racing faster than it was supposed to at the speed she was running.
The blonde had changed her course, deciding that heading to the bathroom to cool down was a better idea. Upon arriving there, stopped by the mirror, supporting herself with her hands on the edge of the sink. She was starting to hyperventilate and it was probably because of the brunette.
What is this feeling?
The small blonde was not naive but she couldn't fathom why she was feeling this way.
A foreign yet pleasant feeling. It warmed her heart but her heart also ached. Something she hadn't come to know of and understand just yet. It was suffocating to an extent. However, she wanted to be able to comprehend it.
Her heartbeat calmed down moments after, returning to its original and usual speed. The brunette let out a breath, in relief. She closed her eyes, relaxing her previously tensed shoulders, slumping them down.
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Hours past in a flash and it was soon after school. Krista packed up her bag, only to realise that something was missing – her lunchbox.
I must have left it there.
The blonde sighed to herself, thinking back about what had happened during lunch time. She braced herself, knowing very well that she had to return to that place to retrieve her lunchbox - what if the brunette was there?-. And maybe it wasn't there anymore. Nonetheless, she had to try. If it wasn't there, she would give it up.
Krista had stepped out of the classroom when someone called out to her.
Ymir?
It was undoubtedly the brunette's voice.
Closing the door behind herself, the blonde turned to see the brunette standing in the middle of the hallway. With one hand in her pants pocket, she stood tall.
"Yo. You forgot your lunchbox." In the brunette hands was indeed her lunchbox.
As her thoughts returned to that afternoon, her face flushed slightly. It was difficult having eye contact with the brunette so she averted her gaze. The small blonde took small strides to the blonde then said her thanks. "Thank you."
The blonde had reached out to the lunchbox in the brunette hands only to struggle in getting it back. Ymir was teasing her. She definitely was.
"Oh no. I won't return it so easily to you." A smirk was evident on her face. She raised the lunchbox higher, now out of the blonde's reach - even if she had jumped or tiptoed. "Say, why were you there?"
"I…. was… just…. Looking for… a place to have my lunch…. And I happened to pass by!" The blonde wasn't giving up, still trying to take back the lunchbox which was still in the brunette's hands.
"Hmmm…. Whatever." The brunette dropped her hand, this time returning the lunchbox properly to the small blonde. She shove the lunchbox in the small blonde's chest then chuckled at the reaction the blonde had. Krista seemed so relief that she finally got her lunchbox back and her eyes were sparkling in satisfaction.
Damn. She really is too adorable.
"Well then, see you." The brunette turned on her heels, ready to leave in the opposite direction of the entrance. "Remember not to bother me ever again. I've warned you plenty of times to stay away from me."
Krista stood at where she was, staring at the brunette's back. It wasn't until the brunette had disappeared around a corner that she stopped gawking.
"Now what do I do."
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Ymir was patrolling the school grounds for duty when someone came from the shadows around a sharp corner near the flight of stairs.
"Interesting. She's an unmarked, isn't she? Would you mind if take her?"
It was Rider, a vampire like Ymir. However she was an asshole. A huge asshole. She loved stealing what belonged to others and hated Ymir to the core for the fact that she was accepted by Levi despite being less than a commoner. Rider herself belonged to one of the royal families, thus being one of those 'royal vampires'. Royal blood flows through her, making her unsatisfied that she wasn't the chosen one but Ymir was.
Ymir on the other hand, couldn't care much about Rider. Except, this time, Rider words had irritated her exceptionally. She didn't understand why was it that she irked hearing those words. Especially when the blonde was being mentioned.
"I mean, if you haven't marked her. It surely means that you have no interest in her, or do you?" Rider raised a brow, a grin on her face.
Sighing, the brunette slipped her hands into the pockets of her pants, standing lazily as she listened before replying. "Do what you want. I don't see what obligation you had, reporting your actions to me though?" Despite her words, Ymir felt a prick in her heart. What was bothering her so badly that she was to feel this way?
"I certainly will do as I wish." The grin on rider face not fading one bit. "It's nothing but a courtesy for me to report this to you. If by any chance, you do perk an interest in that, right?"
Ymir faked a laugh. "Right. Courtesy, you say?" Ymir knew that it was Rider being sarcastic as usual. There wasn't any way that this person had any courtesy or manners at that. She loved toying with others and Ymir wasn't going to play her game nor get involved in it. "If you have no other business, scram. Unlike you, I do have my duties to accomplish." Ymir waved her hands dismissively, then proceeded to the next set of classrooms, passing Rider in a whoosh, leaving the woman behind.
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It was the next day at night after dinner, Krista was done with her meal, ready to return to her room when the doors of the front entrance creaked open, revealing Ymir in a heavy breath. The brunette staggered in, leaving the door to shut behind her with a small thud. Krista widen her eyes, stunned for second before leaping towards the brunette to lend her a support.
Unfortunately, before she had managed to reach the brunette, she had fallen to the ground. Curling up on the cold concrete floor, the brunette gripped her shirt tightly, with both hands, at where her chest was.
The blonde crouched down in a panic, in seeing how much pain the brunette was in. She hesitantly reached out to the brunette then a voiced called out.
"Krista."
A tap was felt on her shoulders seconds after. Recognizing the voice, Krista turned around swiftly, still in a panic.
"Hanji! Ymir she-"
"I understand. Leave her to me." Hanji interrupted her as she crouched down, her eyes tracing the brunette lying on the floor. Her next actions shocked the blonde.
With a strong grip, Hanji picked Ymir up by her collar, slamming her hard against the wooden entrance door. The impact wasn't enough to destroy the door but it was heavy enough that the tan brunette grunted at the physical damaged done. She coughed hard once, slowly regaining control of herself. Her eyes were tinted with small amount of red in brown.
"Hanji! Put me down!" In anger, the tan brunette shouted. Not struggling in the strong grip of the bespectacled brunette at her collar, she shot a steely, cold glare at her.
Ignoring Ymir's plead, Hanji strength her grip, her own eyes turning red in colour. "How many times have you caused trouble this month? As I have warned you, you better force some human blood down that damn throat of yours, whether you like it or not. My patience is running out. Levi's too. If you are only going to be trouble, you are out of here. Understand?" Loosening her grip, Hanji let the tan brunette drop to the ground. She exhaled deeply then turned to the small blonde behind her.
Still in a state of shock, the blonde was staring blankly at the scene in front of her. The situation was confusing.
As Hanji approached the small blonde, her lips curled into a small, gentle smile. She reached out to ruffle the small blonde hair, taking her out of her shock.
"Hanji?" the small blonde spoke out softly.
"Everything's fine. You may return to your room. You should leave that idiot alone for today and try again tomorrow." She pointed over her shoulders with her thumb towards the tan brunette. "
Returning to her room dejectedly, Krista shut the door gently and settled down on her bed. She stared into space.
She seemed so in pain. Why doesn't she let me help her?
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With Ymir and Hanji alone, Hanji turned to the brunette standing with the support of the door behind her. She stared her down, eyes narrowing by each second.
"I've enough of your nonsense. Let me repeat, if you don't get blood down that damned throat of yours, I will. Unless you don't care if you return to that place, I'm sure you will listen to me. Right?"
Ymir scowled, giving off a dangerous aura despite being in a weakened state at this moment. She barely had the energy to even stand. The pain in her chest threatening to return any moment. It only stopped because she was forced out of that hungry state but it would soon return to haunt her.
"Hanji," a voice echoed out through the moment of silence. A tall blonde with blue eyes came walking through the back door, her hands in her pocket. "Levi's looking for you." The blonde shot Ymir a look before her eyes returned to look at Hanji.
Damn. I don't need your help.
Ymir shot a look back at the blonde whose attention was now on Hanji and her alone.
"Right. Then I will be leaving, Nanaba." Hanji turned on her heels and left, leaving Ymir and Nanaba behind.
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When the bespectacled brunette presence had disappeared completely, Ymir spoke up. "I don't need your help. I can handle Hanji just fine."
Nanaba shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say." She walked over to Ymir to give her a hand. "Come, I will help you to your room at least. Then I will leave as you wish."
Having no energy to retort anymore, Ymir sighed as she accepted the help given. She knew that Nanaba was as stubborn as her. Nanaba had gained her trust over the years they worked together; offering help, following her stupid whims, etc. Ymir simply let Nanaba help her when she's vulnerable. But, she wouldn't let the blonde in her heart. She is her comrade but definitely not her friend.
"If you are planning to advise me like she did, don't. Don't bother."
Nanaba paused in her steps, frowning - Ymir paused too.
"What?"
"I'd rather return to that place than to trust a human again." Ymir merely stated.
"Come on, we're telling you to save your life. Get it?" Nanaba resumed her steps as she spoke. "You don't have to trust them. Just use them. Like they have used us."
Upon reaching the bed, Nanaba helped Ymir down on the bed and walked off to the door. "Think about what I've said." She said, with her back facing the brunette, before leaving the room.
Life? What life? What is there to live for anyway? I'm tired of living in this world where we aren't accepted for who we are.
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One week passed since then and Krista was at her wit ends. She didn't have any more ideas as to how she could convince Ymir. The brunette was, indeed, extremely stubborn and had avoided all her advances the whole week. The brunette came back late on certain days and when Krista tried to talk to her she would shoot her a sharp glare and telling her to stay at least one metre away from her.
As much as she wanted to help the brunette, if the brunette continued to reject her, there wasn't nothing else she could do but leave her alone in the end.
Sitting on her bed, her knees to her chest, Krista sighed deeply.
It isn't possible for me to be 'Krista Lenz' after all.
The mask she had been putting up was crumbling, in the hands of the brunette whom had seen right through her. There was no doubt that the brunette wasn't convinced with her answers of "I don't know" to her questions of "Why do you care about me?"
So far, Krista had never came in contact with a person like Ymir. She had always managed to make others acknowledge her – even going as far as calling her "goddess" - and do things that made others happy. It was the first time she had failed to keep up with the fake image she had put up, getting rejected because the other knew very well that she wasn't being honest or truthful about her words. That she was playing 'goddess' and nothing more. How was she to aid such a person?
Ymir was particularly similar to the blonde. They both held secrets of their past, hurt by it and searching blindly in the darkness they lived in, for happiness, for the light, should it ever exist for them.
Yet, despite all the similarities they shared, they had decided to walk down polar opposite paths, each having a way of their own to protect themselves in this cruel world.
One had decided to put on a mask, keeping her true emotions to herself. On the surface, she went around fulfilling the expectations others had on her, the inside of her hollow and cold. She held no true feelings for those she had mingled with. A fake smile often seen on that innocent face, deceiving those around her, in believing that she was a "goddess". A goddess that put others before herself. It was no more than an act to make herself feel useful, that others needed her in order for their survival.
The other, refusing to hide under a mask, showing her cold and icy nature. People had distanced themselves from her, leaving her to be all alone in the world as she wished. She had been convinced that trusting others was a stupid and utterly foolish thing to do. Because in the end, the one who ends up hurt, would be her. She had left her faith with the broken pieces that was once part of her, shed them and would never be found again.
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Little did they know - that there was still hope left in this cruel world that had yet been born. It was something they had yet to come to know of. As the two continued rejecting the other, the harder they attracted. Soon, they would reach the salvation they had been searched, longing for. Bit by bit, the two would come to fully accept the other.
Will there be a happy end awaiting them?
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A/N: Okay, first and foremost, I know this chapter is kinda weird. I mean I feel that it is weird. I tried writing it the way I wanted and it didn't turn out well. I hope it is tolerable though. Also, things will be moving quite slow at the start. I hope you guys would enjoy this story ultimately.
And thank you for reading this story at all. It's been awhile since I've started posting chapters and stories again so yea.
I will explain certain terms by the next chapter hopefully so that people don't get confused or feel like they know little on what the hell is going on.