A/N - I had to split chapter three and chapter four in two. I didn't want to post too long of a chapter. Thank you all for your reviews. - G.

Damaged

Chapter Three:

Everything She Wanted

"I'm exhausted," Olivia tossed her back onto the table and plopped down beside Edison. He twisted to look at her – she wasn't joking. Large, dark bags were prominent against her chocolate skin, drawing attention away from the sparkling brown of her eyes.

"Trouble sleeping?" It was a question he already knew the answer to just by looking at her. If he had to guess, her sudden insomnia was the result of her latest boy trouble. Not that he knew what the trouble entailed, but Olivia rarely was in a happy, uncomplicated relationship.

"You have no idea," she sighed, resting her head on her folded arms. She didn't bother pretending to sip the cold coffee he had waiting for her.

"Which one?" He tried chuckling to cover up the bitterness of his tone. He hadn't meant to say those exact words; they tumbled out before he could stop them. Olivia shrugged, seeming to brush off his tone as she picked at her leggings.

"Why do you always jump to conclusions and think I'm having boy trouble?" She sounded annoyed – he hated to annoy her.

"Because…" He bit his tongue, hard. He felt the blood pouring into his mouth and tried not to gag on the coppery taste. She wouldn't enjoy his, 'Because you always have boy trouble' comment.

"I haven't heard from my boyfriend in a few days." His head snapped to the side, allowing him to stare openmouthed at her. Olivia had a boyfriend? He knew she had a tendency to dangle a few different boys in front of herself, but she was seeing someone?

"Since when does my best friend keep secrets?" He tried not to sound hurt. Olivia almost always told him everything that went through her head. It didn't make sense for her to be keeping secrets.

"When it's the kind of thing she hasn't told anyone?" Olivia shrugged, she sounded like she wanted him to drop it. As much as he wanted to know who the mystery man in her life was, he knew not to push her.

"Are we still on for this evening?" We were going to see the new Hunger Games movie. He wasn't a fan of the movies, but Olivia loved them.

"Uh, yeah." She sounded distant as her gaze locked on two girls from one of her classes standing by the glass, double doors. He couldn't remember their names, but knew they had some big project they were doing together.

"Give me a minute," she said, standing and walking away from the table. He watched as she walked away, enjoying the sight of her shapely legs in the tight skinny jeans she was wearing. Yet another surprise from Olivia. She never wore anything so form fitting.

Ding

He almost missed the low shrill coming from the phone laying near his elbow, but the harsh vibration alerted him to its presence. He glanced at the screen, catching a glimpse of the name on the screen before it went black. Swinging his head in Olivia's direction, he placed his hand around her phone. She had her back turned to him – she wouldn't know. Sliding his finger across the screen, he typed the four digit password she had set on her phone and opened her messages. He didn't recognize the name attached to the unread message.

"Fitz?" he whispered to himself, hitting the message and reading the text. He said he was in New York and wanted her to call him. He must be the boyfriend she mentioned. Strange. She never mentioned him before. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't mention Jason, the exact definition of egotistical school jock, or Liam – her martial arts teacher. Sometimes she mentioned her friend Abby's brother, Chris, but that wasn't often – she reserved her thoughts for him when he was in town.

"Really Edison?" He jumped at her voice, loud and angry coming from behind him. In a flash of dark red nails, she snatched her phone from his hands.

"What did you see?" she demanded, her eyes burning with anger and scanning the text on the screen in her hands.

"Fitz wants you to call him." There was no use in hiding the truth from her. She would either figure it out or make a scenario in her head that would be worse than the truth. It was best to tell the truth around Olivia.

"Anything else?" She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring down at him. Her phone started ringing in her hand. One quick glance and she dismissed the phone call – whoever was calling couldn't spare him from her wrath.

"That's it." She looked like she didn't believe him, but sighed and moved to grab her bag from the chair beside him.

"You're leaving?" He hated how needy his voice sounded, but he didn't like to spend any time away from her. Olivia almost never thought of him so he took every chance he had to be near her.

"I have things to do." She dismissed him that quickly and he tried to fight the frown from showing on his face.

"I'll meet you at the cinema at 8?" He called to her retreating back. She stopped mid-step, turning around slowly to look at him.

"Sure." She sounded flippant as she walked away. He felt the tightening of his chest at the realization that he had angered her. His breaths were getting shallower and faster as the panic began to set in…

Bolting upright in bed, Olivia groaned at the sight of her alarm clock. It was only two in the morning. She had barely gotten two hours of sleep. Her gaze fell from the bright red numbers to the large, leather-bound journal on her nightstand – her therapist's idea. She wanted her to keep a dream journal. Reaching for the journal and a pen, she opened to the first page – still blank. It had been a week since she had been given the journal and, although she had nightmares nightly, she hadn't written about a single one. This one was different, though. It had been a while since she had had dreams like this about Edison and she hadn't dreamed from his point of view since the last time they had spoken – when he had vividly recounted his crimes and thoughts in detail for her.

Shuddering, she opened the journal and uncapped her pen, allowing the words to flow onto the page. She wasn't sure she would share it with her therapist – she still wasn't ready to talk about everything she had experienced. Some of the things Edison had said…had done…they weren't worth repeating or thinking about. Though she did suppose her brain had a way of forcing her to reflect on that time through her unwanted dreams. She looked at the clock as she finished writing, one page down and about three to five more to go. She knew even if she didn't share what she had written, her therapist wasn't going to believe that she had only had one dream in between their sessions.

Laying her journal and pen back on her nightstand, she swung her legs over the side of her bed and stood up. Stretching, she yanked her pajama bottoms back into place before quietly padding out of her room. She managed to make it to the kitchen, avoiding the squeaky stair at the bottom of the staircase, without waking her parents. Flipping the light switch, she looked at the pill box on the counter. Just as she suspected, she had forgotten to take her Ambien. It was the one pill she had trouble remembering – and the only one that helped her sleep without having dreams. She had been through a slew of sleep aids, most of which didn't even begin to help, until her doctor had suggested the newly experimental Ambien, at least experimental when it came to helping with night terrors. Maya called it Olivia's miracle pill. Tossing the pill into her mouth and chugging water, she quickly swallowed before heading back upstairs to her bed.

In her bed, she switched her lamp off and laid back down. Reaching for her phone, she popped the earbuds in, praying that her dreams would be kept at bay. Hitting play on the glowing screen, she settled back against her pillows and closed her eyes.

"You weren't answering my calls or texts and Edison offered to take me. I promise I'll make it up to you later." Olivia's breathy laugh at the end of her conversation was carried by the chilly air to Edison's spot by the entrance, getting their tickets. It was obvious that she didn't know he could hear her conversation and it was obvious to him that she was talking to Fitz – whoever that was. In typical Olivia fashion she was ignoring him in favor of another guy – one who probably didn't even know her eye color. He watched as she stood with her back to the building, the bright light illuminating her small frame. She had a bright smile on her face – one that she only reserved for them.

"That your girl?" The low voice jostled Edison from his thoughts and he turned to see Xavier Collins, a starting center for the Hoyas – not that that meant anything to Edison, standing behind him.

"She's a friend," he answered, turning his gaze back to Olivia. She was laughing again, twirling some chain around her finger, the silver glinting in the light.

"Sucks for you man. There's no getting out of the friend zone." His cruel laugh followed him inside and Edison felt his chest tightening with the all too familiar rage. Olivia hadn't friend-zoned him. She was waiting for the right time – like he was. He was sure of that.

Edison shrugged the comment off and stalked toward Olivia – careful not to disturb her phone call. The crunching sound of fallen leaves beneath his feet seemed an obvious giveaway to him. Yet Olivia never turned to look at him, ignoring him in favor of the guy on the other line.

"Ready? The previews are going to end at any moment and we wouldn't want to miss any of this amazing movie." He tried to sound as nonchalant as he could, but it fell flat. She whirled around, the beautiful smile falling from her face and her voice quieting to a whisper as she told the guy on the other end that she would call him back later. She stuffed her phone into her pocket before giving Edison a tight smile.

"Let's go."

"Damn these fucking dreams," Olivia groaned, sitting up in bed and squinting at the harsh light streaming through her windows. She hated having them, but she was at least grateful that this last one wasn't the traumatic fare of her typical dreams. Though she knew what was coming – especially if she continued having them from Edison's perspective. A disgusted frown covered her face at that thought – even without the traumatic turn of her dreams last night, just dreaming from Edison's mind was enough to leave her shaking and feeling in bad need of a shower.

Her shower that morning was long, complete with many wash and rinse cycles. She still didn't feel as if she had washed away all the grime she associated with Edison, but she knew that if she had stayed in the shower much longer, her mother would have been beating the door down complaining about her water usage. She had gotten dressed quickly before making her way to the kitchen where her mother was in the process of cooking breakfast. She grabbed a glass of orange juice and slid onto the bench at the breakfast table. Her father was making notes in his planner as he sipped on his coffee.

"You're up early," Eli commented, sparing a glance at Olivia over his glasses.

"I actually slept well last night," she answered. She may have had weird dreams, but she had been able to stay asleep longer than normal. That counted for something.

"That's great!" Maya was always overly enthusiastic anymore when it came to Olivia. At first it had been annoying, but now Olivia had come to terms with it. This was Maya's way of coping with what had happened to her daughter and her way of feeling as if she were helping – keeping a positive vibe that she hoped Olivia would adopt as her own.

"We're having dinner at six tonight…"

"Are we inviting someone?" Olivia interrupted her father. It was odd that he would tell her what time they were having dinner. Normally, it was around six every night although they never were sticklers about time unless someone was joining them.

"Your mom told me that Fitz is in town. I invited him over." Eli watched Olivia for her reaction, frowning at the emotionless look she kept on her face. He had at the least expected a smile from her at his news.

"I know. We ran into each other a couple weeks ago and we've been texting off and on." She smiled at her mother as she sat a plate in front of her.

"Great," Eli smiled. At least she was answering his texts – that was something with Olivia. "He told me he looked forward to seeing you again."

"Cool." Eli and Maya shared a look at the nonchalant response Olivia gave. There was a time, when she had been dating Fitz, that any mention of him would have caused a wide grin to cover her face, alongside blushing and a sparkle in her eyes. It was the happiest her parents had ever seen her and they were willing to do anything to see that happiness again.

"Have you been writing in your dream journal?"

"I started last night."

"You've had it for two nights. Is the Ambien helping?"

"I still have dreams, but they aren't as bad." She watched as her therapist made notes on the ever present legal pad, her pen scratching across the paper. She popped her knuckles, a nervous habit of hers that typically left her mother cringing, as she waited for the older woman to make a comment.

"You haven't brought the journal," Olivia ran her tongue across her lips, wetting them as she prepared to give an explanation for the missing journal. An explanation she didn't have to give as her therapist continued speaking, "I am going to assume you aren't comfortable sharing just yet. Can you tell me what made these recent dreams less terrifying than past ones? I need to know so I can make the decision to continue treatment with Ambien or if we need to switch to a new medication."

Olivia nodded. Her therapist wasn't normally quite so frank with her. She preferred to gently guide Olivia toward the solution she was looking for – asking questions that pointed Olivia toward the solution herself. But when it came to her medicine…she always made sure Olivia knew the need to speak honestly and openly so they could find the right medication and Olivia was grateful for that. As much as she hated therapy and withheld from her therapist, she wanted to find a solution to her troubles – a solution to make her feel better.

"They were about mine and Edison's relationship before…when we were friends."

"It's been four years since the Campus Mu –"

"Can we not talk about that? I knew them." Olivia shuddered, kicking her slides off her feet and pulling her knees to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs. It may have been four years since that event had occurred, but she still didn't want to talk about it.

"You're subconsciously revisiting the start of your friendship." Her therapist wisely changed the topic and Olivia nodded. Anything was better than where they had been heading.

"And I'm trying to find any sign of where things went wrong."

"That's good, Olivia."

"They're still disturbing…all from his point of view. It's like I'm watching the dream…watching myself from his eyes. It's…unnerving."

"You once said that he sent you a detailed letter beginning with the start of your friendship up until he was convicted, are you having dreams based on what he mentioned in that letter?"

"I…don't know. He sent that letter two years ago and I burned it after reading it. I guess I could be subconsciously thinking of that letter, but I honestly don't remember exactly what it said." She looked down at her hands, her nails had gotten longer lately. Starting to pick at her cuticles, she waited for what her therapist had to say.

"That's a possibility. Have you spoken to Fitz?" Olivia sighed. Of course she would change the topic to him. They had spoken more about him at their last session and Olivia had admitted to avoiding his phone calls because she feared what would happen if she answered them. She wasn't sure she was ready for a relationship again, despite the assurances from her therapist that she was ready, and she knew that Fitz would want that. He had never wanted to break up in the first place.

"We're still texting every day. My dad invited him over for dinner tonight." She added that last bit as a bit of an afterthought – she hoped it would keep her therapist off her back for a bit. She and Fitz may not have spoken on the phone yet, but they were bound to have a conversation this night despite how much Olivia attempted to stall the inevitable.

"That's…better than I could have hoped for," A quick glance at the clock confirmed that they were out of time, "Try having a conversation with him tonight. And have fun, Olivia."

"Do I look okay?" Olivia asked, twirling in front of her mother in a white sundress.

"For the fifth time, you look beautiful," Maya grinned, wrapping her arm around her daughter's shoulders. She was happy that Olivia had finally seemed to show some emotion at the prospective of dinner with her former boyfriend. She had spent a good two hours after her father had brought her home from therapy preparing for dinner.

"You're going to give the poor guy a heart attack," Eli winked, moving toward the door as he heard a light knocking. He returned a moment later with Fitz trailing behind him.

"Hi, Olivia," Fitz greeted, holding a bouquet of Peruvian lilies toward her. Olivia grasped the flowers, inhaling the sweet scent, and smiled. "Your dad said I didn't need to bring anything, but I felt rude showing up empty-handed."

She smiled. He always did ramble when he was nervous. "They're beautiful. I'll find a vase for them."

"Allow me," Maya intervened, taking the flowers from her daughter's hands before shooing the two toward the front door, "It'll be a few more minutes before dinner is ready. Why don't you two enjoy the fresh air while you wait?"

Olivia shook her head. Leave it to her mother to try to play matchmaker. She gave Fitz a nervous smile as she followed him outside. She had debated internally all afternoon over what she wanted from Fitz. Finally, she had decided that she wanted, needed, a friend and Fitz had always been a great friend. She knew she didn't want a relationship – not yet, at least. She wasn't ready for that. Part of her wondered if she ever would be.

"So…" Olivia trailed, laying her hands on the white railing of the porch, leaning over to watch a butterfly flying low to the ground, "Mom said something about a new law firm opening in town."

"I wanted a change of scenery – something other than Washington. I needed to slow down some and this seemed like the perfect place to do that." Fitz stuffed his hands in his pockets, leaning against the corner post, watching Olivia as a light breeze danced through her hair.

"Is that it?" She wondered. He wasn't from Hampstead. There was no logic to his choosing the town, out of all the other small towns in the state, to move to and begin a business. No logic other than his connection to her.

"I meant what I said when we broke up."

"Still?"

"Your heart wasn't in it, Olivia. You only broke up with me because you're trying to run from something. Like I told you then, I will give you all the space you need and, when you're ready, you can either chose to tell me what you're hiding, or keep it to yourself. Either way, I will still love you. I do still love you." He shrugged, watching her intently for her reaction. She nodding, tucking a flyaway strand behind her ear.

"Right now, I really need a friend."

"Friends, then." He grinned and she giggled – he always did have an infectious smile. They stood in silence, watching the lazy autumn evening. Olivia started to shiver, the setting sun was taking away the last streak of warmth, and Fitz was quick to wrap his jacket around her shoulders. She smiled in gratitude, wondering what was taking her parents so long.

"At least they're talking," Eli commented, looking out the window at his daughter. She was giggling at something Fitz had said. Watching her with him, it was hard to imagine why they had ever ended their relationship in the first place. While he knew Maya had trouble fathoming the answer to that question, Eli had an inkling of an idea as to why his daughter had walked away. He did, after all, know the little girl who had become his shadow, the perfect, despite her imperfections, miniature version of himself, better than anyone else. She had been terrified and she still blamed herself for what Edison had done – she feared Fitz's judgment. It didn't matter how many times Eli had told her that Fitz would not judge her for what Edison had done, Olivia would not shake that feeling of guilt.

"She's always seemed so happy around him," Maya grinned, elbowing her husband out of the way so she could get a look through the window for herself. She smiled at the sight of her daughter standing a few inches from Fitz, his jacket wrapped around her shoulders. It felt like old times; when Olivia would come home for the weekend to visit, dragging Fitz with her. He was the first boyfriend that Maya and Eli had ever gotten to meet – the first time she had been serious about a boy.

"She still seems happy with him." Eli moved toward the cabinet, retrieving plates and moving toward the table in the dinning room.

"I can't believe he followed her here."

"I can. I'd do the same for you." Eli grinned at the watery smile Maya gave him. They had…issues in the past that culminated in their divorce during Olivia's sophomore year. After two years of being apart, they realized just how much they missed each other and had started secretly dating, only for Olivia to figure their secret out a few months later. Now they were busy planning their wedding for the summer. Olivia had even taken to helping Maya plan.

"I don't want to interrupt their moment," Maya stated, once more looking out the window as Eli came up beside her. Fitz and Olivia were huddled together against the crisp August wind, laughing at some inside joke. Eli smiled as Fitz lifted a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Olivia's ear.

"Go get them. Something tells me that they're going to have plenty of moments like this."

"That was absolutely delicious. Thank you for inviting me, Mr. Pope," Fitz commented, dabbing at his mouth with the linen napkin.

"Come on, Fitz, we're past that stage," Eli smiled, "You can call me, Eli."

"When is your law firm opening?" Maya inquired, laying her knife and fork on her plate.

"The first of the month. I still have a few kinks to work through. Such as finding a secretary."

"Abby might do it. She's been looking for something closer to home," Olivia suggested, reaching for her wine glass. She had been surprised when she had seen the glass sitting by her place setting at the table, and simultaneously disappointed the moment she had noted the first distinct taste of grape juice. Her mother had taken her therapist's warning about mixing alcohol with her sleep medication quite seriously.

"Sure. Tell her to send me her application," Fitz nodded. Maya smiled at the two – it warmed her heart to see Olivia interacting with someone, truly interacting, once more.

"Olivia will be coaching the high school cheerleading squad this year," Eli announced, inclining his head in his daughter's direction. Olivia blushed, slightly, and bowed her head at his announcement, a blush that deepened upon Fitz's comment.

"Looks like I'll be watching a lot of football this year."

"Our first practice is tomorrow and I've never cheered so…"

"You rocked at gymnastics – just add some words and you're good," Fitz winked, causing Olivia to chuckle.

"Thanks."

"Thanks for coming by, Fitz." Eli extended his hand toward Fitz as they stood by his car in the driveway. They could see Olivia and her mother through the kitchen window, standing side by side and washing dishes.

"I wanted to see her. Nothing else."

"She needed this. She's been getting…worse. She has these awful nightmares and hardly sleeps."

"I wish things were different between the two of us."

"Maya and I do, too. Why don't you stop by later this week? Talking to you was the closest we've seen her to being happy in a while."

"I like that idea. Thanks." Fitz shook Eli's hand once more before climbing into his car, casting one longing glance at Olivia, and leaving.

"Have you seen Jason lately?" Nina, one of Olivia's roommates, didn't stop to acknowledge Edison as she slid between Olivia and him, her questions dangling in the air, waiting for an answer.

"He must have spent the whole summer in the sun," Olivia replied with that appreciative undertone to her voice – the one she never used with Edison. He wondered if she was still seeing that boyfriend of hers. She hadn't said much since he had seen that text months ago – she was keeping her distance from him.

"He looks fine," Nina observed, her eyes trailing over to the one guy that Edison could possibly hate more than this Fitz person. Jason Edmistein was arrogant and knew what the girls on campus thought of him. He used that to his advantage. Edison didn't like the way he was returning Olivia and Nina's stares. The glint in his eyes as he looked them over was unnerving. They started giggling when he winked in their direction before heading off to the café line. Of course some girl let him cut in front of her.

"Jason may be looking fine now, but Liam! He let his hair grow. It's hot," Olivia gushed, informing Nina of her other favorite crush.

"He's gotten buff," Nina grinned, picking at the food in front of her. They started trading stories about Jason and Liam and their thoughts on the two. Edison let their voices fade into background noise – he hated how infatuated Olivia became with those other men. Men who weren't for her. He followed Jason's movements from his seat – watching as Jason headed back out of the building and in direction of the gym. Without any effort, without any reason, he managed to get Olivia's attention better than Edison could. It was a nightmare.

"Jason," Edison called after the taller guy. They were in the same history class and when the professor announced that they would be doing group projects, Edison offered to be Jason's partner. He couldn't turn down Edison's offer – he accepted any offer that he thought would get him out of work.

"Yeah?" Jason stopped midway through the deserted hall, turning around to look down at Edison.

"Could you stop by my house this evening? Just to set up the basics for the project. I'll do the rest," Edison quickly added when he noticed the annoyed look in his eyes. That was one of his selling points to Jason – he would do the entire project and Jason was free to do whatever it was that he did.

"Sure." He walked away after that one grunted word, missing the smile that spread across Edison's face.

"Dear God, no," Olivia breathed, sitting straight up in bed and drenched in sweat. As innocent as those dreams had seemed, she knew what was coming next and just the thought was enough to make her consider avoiding sleep for the rest of her life.