Before I begin with the disclaimer (though by now I'm pretty sure you know I don't own most of this), I'd like to say thank you for waiting for this chapter. I just had my wisdom teeth out so that's why I haven't been here updating. I hope you will like this chapter as much as, if not more than the others, and that it is worth the wait for ya's. Now, on to the disclaimer.
"Mastersword doesn't own anything unless it's an OC of his." Rummy started. "He doesn't even own the idea of replacing the Servants! Now without further adieu, it's fic time! Enjoy your fanfic of questionable quality!"
"And that's why we need to think before we act from now on." Pinochle finished. He knew it was hard for the girls to hear, but if they didn't they'd be dead by sunrise. Especially since rules clearly didn't matter to Shinji.
"Yes Master, I must agree that my earlier actions were rather hasty. However, I do believe that our new system can work." Saber announced. "Now that we have cleared up why information gathering is essential, I believe we should begin with it post haste!" Of course, her enthusiasm only lasted until she saw Rummy's face. She was looking down, zoning out of the conversation. What just happened yesterday really did some damage to her.
I thought this was going to be easy since I cleared the game before. I even beat Servant Monster! So then, why is Shinji's Servant not Rider? Now that I think about it, Rin's Servant was different too. I didn't really remember since I took her route and didn't have to fight her. I'm weird like that.
"…my."
But what does this mean? Oh wait, that Konton guy wasn't in the game too. What's he all about?
"..mmy."
Damn it! Why did this have to happen! Saber almost died and it's all my fault!
".ummy."
And that Servant of Shinji's again! I feel like it's so obvious. I don't know why, but I feel like if I find out his identity then I'll understand why everything is so different.
"RUMMY!" With a shock, Rummy jolted back at the sound of Pinochle calling her name for the fourth time.
"Y-yes Pinochle?" Was her meek reply. She looked so scared, as if Pinochle was a lion waiting to make her his dinner. He felt kind of guilty for doing all of this, but it had to be done. At least, that's what he kept telling himself.
"Saber and I are going to gather some info on Shinji's Servant." Pinochle began. "I just wanted to let you know that we were heading out, ok?" He desperately searched Rummy's demeanor for some kind of sign that she wasn't really this depressed. Unfortunately for him, her sadness was genuine.
"You can go Pinochle; just let me give you a copy of the Password so you can get back in." Rummy said as she received Pinochle's Portable Terminal. She then proceeded to hit a few spots on the touch screen. When she was done, she returned the Terminal to Pinochle.
"Feel better ok." Pinochle said with a concerned look on his face and empathetic tone of voice as he and Saber left the room. Rummy then looked up at the ceiling, raised her hand to it as if reaching out for something, then brought it back. She then felt moisture on her cheeks. Rummy was crying. Still crying, she began to do something nobody could have predicted. She began to sing.
"Nukedashitette Nukedashitette
Kanashisugiru unmei kara
Watashi wa naraku no hana ja nai
Sonna basho de
Sakanaide sakanaide
Karametorarete ikanaide
Oto mo naku tobikau toki no kakera. "
Chapter 2: I am Not a Flower of Hell
(Opening Music: Naraku no Hana by Shimamiya Eiko)
Second Floor
The first thing Pinochle saw as he left the room was Shinji bragging to Rin on the other side of the hallway. Deciding not to waste a perfectly good gift from God, he and Saber discreetly approached them to eavesdrop on their conversation. The saw that their assumptions were correct, as Shinji was being a total ass and bragging about his Servant in an attempt to impress women.
"So yeah, why are you hanging around that total deadweight? I just personally beat her Servant into next week!" Shinji told Rin.
"Really? Even though participants in the Holy Grail War aren't allowed to fight outside of Elimination Battles?" Rin rebutted with half sarcasm, and half fake interest.
"…Damn! Please don't tell on me Rin! I swear I'll be your friend for life!" Shinji pleaded in panic.
"Look." Rin began, obviously annoyed. "If you fought in The Arena the Administrators already know that you did it. Obviously since you're still here they decided to let you off with a warning."
"Seriously? Ahem, I mean Seriously!" Shinji announced as he regained his composure. "The Admins must be afraid of my Servant."
"Oh really?" Came Konton's voice, walking out of the library. "And why exactly are we shaking in our boots again?"
"Because, my Servant is Awesome! Duh! He goes on so many adventures, he hangs out with Gym Leaders, and he always beats Team Rocket!" Shinji loudly proclaimed. It was only then that he realized that he had just spilled the proverbial beans, and that everyone was looking at him.
"And that my friends, is an example of what not to do if you wish to survive in this Grail War." Rin began. "Never reveal information to your opponent." She looked Pinochle in the eye and Shinji looked back, now realizing that he had just screwed up so much.
"Master, are you taking notes?" Saber asked Pinochle.
"Already did Saber, I can type really quickly on a touch screen." Pinochle replied, thus confirming that he was in fact jotting down information about Shinji's Servant in his Portable Terminal.
Shinji once again regained what little composure he had to begin with and tried to think of a comeback.
"Well it's not like it matters anyway! I can afford to give you a handicap Nucks. But I never thought that you'd stoop this low. Trying to gather information on my Servant after he wiped the floor with yours is basically admitting my superiority!"
"Master, why in the name of God are you two friends again?" Saber questioned.
"You know what Saber, I have no idea." Pinochle said back. He had come upon the knowledge that he in fact had no knowledge of why they were friends. Instead of being confused, Pinochle took this opportunity to do something to relieve his stress and hopefully make Rummy happy. He looked at Shinji with a cocky smile. "Consider this friendship over Shinji. I will have your head."
Saber gasped in shock, Shinji was too startled to even register what Pinochle said, and Konton was sitting down on a couch and sharing popcorn with Rin.
"This is gonna' be good." Konton told her.
"Wait WHAT?!" Shinji exclaimed, now realizing exactly how screwed he was. "You can't do that!" Shit! I was counting on him not winning 'cause he thinks he's my friend. If that changes then… I might lose!
"I. Just. DID!" Pinochle yelled. "You haven't even seen what you did to Rummy! No real friend would hurt another friend's friend! All you do is constantly brag about how strong and powerful you are, while your friends, and I use that term loosely, do all your work for you! And what do they get? Nothing! You just troll the living crap out of them! You keep pushing people away, but for some reason they stick around. I don't know why the Hell they would want to, but they do. I'm guessing you've built an awful lot of bad karma during the few years you've been alive, and it's about to bite you in the ass! JOINING THIS GRAIL WAR WAS THE LAST MISTAKE YOU'LL EVER MAKE, IN FOUR DAYS I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH THAT YOU'D NEVER BEEN BORN!" At that last part, Pinochle's voice got as loud as Konton's over the loudspeaker. Everyone stood in shock. It felt like time had frozen to everyone. Everyone except Pinochle that is. He felt so good after getting this off his chest. Now I'll have no regrets. I won't kill a friend, I'll kill that kind of person everyone hates.
Then something strange began to happen. The spectators, still gathered from Shinji's reveal and further amassed by Pinochle's telling off of Shinji, started clapping. It started out slowly, a lone unnamed Master broke the silence with his hands. Soon those around him returned to life as well, each joining in on the clapping. Before long everyone was clapping. Cheering then started.
"Way to go Nucks!"
"Kick that asshole's ass!"
"That douche bag hit on my girlfriend! Make him pay!"
"You can do it!"
The cheering then took a new form. It was very simple, but easy to follow.
"Pi-no-chle! Pi-no-chle! Pi-no-chle! Pi-no-chle!"
Pinochle looked around and took it all in. Everyone was there for him. Everyone had his back. Everyone wanted him to win.
"I must say Master, that it feels good to be the popular ruler again." Saber told Pinochle, amidst all the cheering.
"Yeah, it does feel good Saber."
"Do you know why exactly they are all cheering though? Not that I'm complaining."
"I think I have some idea."
"Well out with it Master. Satisfy my curiosity."
"I guess that everyone here has met someone like Shinji in the past. All these Masters, their Servants, I'd even go as far as to say everybody in the whole wide world, they've all met someone like Shinji. Someone who used them for all they were worth then tossed them aside like trash when they were done. My guess Saber, is that these people all see that same struggle in Shinji and I, and how I just broke free of him. Some of them may be cheering because they too broke away from their Shinji. Some of them may be cheering because they couldn't break away from their Shinji, but now how hope because I did. And some of them must be cheering because they can't wait to see a guy like Shinji get his just deserts. All in all Saber, I think they're cheering because they're my real friends."
Saber then began to clap herself. Pinochle turned to look at her and saw that she was crying tears of joy. Had she been crying during his whole explanation?
"Spoken like a true Muse Master. Only, you are the only Muse that I do not wish to bow before my blade." Saber said tenderly, while continuing to cry her tears of joy.
"So what does this mean for the Grail War?" Rin asked Konton, who was still sitting on the couch.
"Well it means, actually wait one second." Konton said to Rin before turning to the commotion. "Slaughter the worthless bastard!" He cheered. Then turning back to Rin, he once again spoke. "Anyway, it means I'm gonna' pull a few strings to make this much more satisfying for all of us." Konton then disappeared and his voice once again came on the loud speaker.
Attention Masters and Servants. Due to unforeseen circumstances the Administrators have decided to allow use of the Battle Tower so that you may Spar with other Masters and Servant without fear of being eliminated or disqualified. It may also be used for training alone if you prefer. Also, for reasons which will become apparent at a later time Pinochle and Shinji's Elimination Battle shall take place tomorrow instead of on Elimination Day. That is all.
Cafeteria
Rummy ate her food in sorrow at her table. I really just only get in the way huh. Maybe I should just disappear.
"Hey bitch, that's my table!" Rummy turned around to see where the voice had come from. She saw a pissed-off blonde chick with blue eyes. Clearly she liked the color red, as both her dress and high heels were also red. Finally, she wore several gold bracelets and gold necklaces as well as a single pearl necklace. Way to show your wealth asshole.
"I wAs HeRe FiRsT." Rummy said in a monotone voice dripping from overflow of murderous intent. She had been through a lot, and was now looking for any excuse to kill this blonde bitch.
Said blonde bitch slightly drew back in shock. "Y-you sound just like." She then returned to her previous position and shook her head to snap herself out of it. "Look, I'm sorry for telling you to move, and for calling you a bitch." The blonde admitted reluctantly. "There's more than one seat, so do you mind if I sit next to you?"
Rummy had not stopped her murderous aura, but grudgingly let the blonde have her way. "Fine, but don't piss me off."
The blonde then took the seat to Rummy's right and began to talk. "So then, why are you all pissed?"
"Mind your own damn business." Rummy barked back. It was clear that she was taking her own self hatred out on the blonde, but neither of them realized it.
The blonde sighed. Damn. I know that this can't end well. Why didn't I ever listen to that stupid Afro Priest or even my Master when they were talking about manners or chivalry or something? I don't know how to do therapy. Well, except… never mind. This girl just reminds me so much of her it's not even funny. Nobody deserves to relive what I went through, I have to calm her down. Damn it! How does one simply make others feel better, and not in the way I usually do it! Maybe if I try and change the subject that will work. …I really need to stop monologuing.
"So hey." The blonde began. "Did you hear about how that boy freaked out like ten minutes ago?" The girl was met with another cold, murderous stare.
"No I didn't." Rummy said, hoping to shut the blonde bitch up.
"Well the guy totally flipped out! From what I heard, the two were friends." At this Rummy's ears perked up, and a small hope in her arose that the situation that the blonde was talking about, was the same one that she thought it could be. "So yeah, the one guy totally called the other out on being a total dick. Then he basically broke the friendship with pure hatred and vowed to kill him on Elimination Day." The hope inside of Rummy continued to grow as she hung on to the blonde's each and every word with baited breath.
"And then what happened?!" Rummy said excitedly as she pounced on the blonde's left shoulder with a twinkle in her eyes.
"Heh. Well… Then everybody stood in shock for two full minutes. Me being me however, I couldn't stand nothing happening for so long. I really hate being bored, ya' know. So I started slowly clapping. 'Cause I mean the guy deserved it." The blonde said with a smile on her face.
"And then?!" Rummy asked, with more excitement than before.
"Then everyone began to clap, and the next thing I know we were all chanting his name."
"And then?!" Rummy asked, with even more excitement than before.
"Then his Servant asked him why we were cheering, and he said it was because everyone met someone like that douche bag before. And that he realized that the douche wasn't a true friend, but that all of us cheering for him were his true friends.
"And then?!" Rummy asked, somehow managing to get even more excited.
"Then the Servant started crying tears of joy while he was speaking." The blonde smiled lovingly, just like how a big sister would smile to a younger sibling when reading them a bedtime story. Like how she did when she read her sister bedtime stories when they were younger.
"Is that it?" Rummy asked.
"Yeah. Oh wait, I think the boy's name was… hmm. I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure he had the same name as a game I played when I was at that casino last."
"Pinochle!" Rummy exclaimed happily.
"Yeah, and the douche bag was named Shinji!" The blond told Rummy as she remembered.
At this point Rummy could die and go to Heaven. Pinochle had just stood up to the one who plunged her into the depths of despair, and verbally kicked his ass. She then remembered how Pinochle interpreted her dream earlier. Maybe he was right. Maybe we will defeat Shinji and the rest of our opponents.
"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier." Rummy started. "I'd like to start over. My name's Rummy. It's very nice to meet you."
"Heh. I'm Servant Archer. But since there's like twenty of us, I like to call myself Angel Archer. That way, people won't get confused about which archer I am." The blond told Rummy, who looked at her with a surprised expression.
"I didn't know you were a Servant."
"Well I am. So, how about we hang?" Angel offered.
"Ok Angel!" Rummy accepted, doing her signature motion and thinking how fortunate she was to have made this new friend.
The Battle Tower
(Background Music: Dance of Ruling Water from the Tales of Graces OST)
After Angel told Rummy about Konton's announcement, the two decided to check out The Battle Tower. The Tower was located farther away than most utilities. It was only accessible via a long forested path, west of the archery club's building, which had only just appeared after Konton was finished addressing everyone. Frankly, Angel was surprised Rummy hadn't heard the announcement, but chalked it up to her hating everything at the time it was made.
After fifteen minutes of walking, Angel and Rummy with the voices in Rummy's head made it to The Battle Tower. It was a giant glass cone without a point, reaching up farther than the eye can see. Surrounding it was a glass wall with a slope on the side. Something that looked like an elevator was attached to its' edge. Finally, the structure was mounted on a stone building in lieu of a roof. The building in turn was surrounded by a beautiful garden.
"Wow." Rummy said.
"Yeah. Wow." Angel agreed. "It takes a lot to make me say something like this, but this scene is absolutely beautiful."
The two then went into The Tower. The lobby was adorned with various statues, suits of armor, tapestries, and so many more elegant decorations. There was even a fountain in the center! They then approached the receptionist while taking the scene all in.
"Welcome to The Battle Tower." The receptionist spoke. "Would you like to train on your own or have a Sparring Match? If need be, we can pair you with a random opponent."
"The brown haired girl is fighting me!" Angel and Rummy turned around to see Shinji, with his classic superiority complex influenced expression. His Servant was also behind him, with his classic lack of expression.
"What do you want bitch?" Rummy asked Shinji, mirroring his expression. This threw him off a little, and even made his Servant raise an eyebrow.
"Wait, shouldn't you be all depressed!? I kicked the living crap out of your Servant remember!?" Shinji said in response.
"Oh I got over that like a hot air balloon after I heard how Pinochle disowned your ass." Rummy laughed with arrogance rivaling that of Gilgamesh. "So, ya' wanna' go? I need to kick your ass physically to match how he kicked your ass verbally. Besides, this chapter needs more than inspirational quotes and Hurt/Comfort plotlines. This chapter needs more action, and I didn't get a chance to kick your ass yet."
"Wait, what do you mean by chapter?" Angel questioned. "Ah never mind, I wanna' kick his ass too. He reminds me of this green haired bitch I used to know, and that Servant faintly resembles her sister."
"…" Said Shinji's Servant. You could at least help me think of a comeback. Actually, never mind. I have a better idea.
Shinji then smirked and the symbols on his right hand began to glow. "By the power of the Command Spell, I hereby command my Servant to speak in more than just battle situations!" Everyone stared at him, shocked. Nobody was more shocked though, than his Servant. Part of the symbol then disappeared. The absolute order had been issued. Shinji's Servant began to open his mouth, and Shinji took satisfaction in knowing that his Servant had to obey all of his orders.
"You are an idiot."
A cold breeze blew through and a tumbleweed bounced by as Shinji tried to comprehend that the first thing his now vocal Servant did was call him an idiot.
"W-w-w-w-w-what do you mean I'm an idiot!?" Shinji furiously yelled at his Servant. Said Servant then karate chopped him on the head, flooring him. "What the heck Servant!?" His Servant then glared at him and began to speak.
"I was not refusing to speak fool, I merely saw no reason to. I only speak to those I respect, or when I find it necessary. That's what I promised myself when I neglected to tell him what I wanted to."
"Who are you talking about!?" Shinji uttered before his Servant stomped on the floor before him.
"I do not need to tell you that, not after you wasted a Command Spell on something as trivial as getting me to speak." The Servant said while still maintaining his calm as the wind expression. It was clear that he wasn't angry, but that putting his own Master in line was as trivial to him as taking out the trash. He then turned to Rummy and Angel. "I am sorry for the events that occurred earlier today, I was under orders from Shinji. I hope you can forgive me Ms. Rummy."
"Oh that?" Rummy started. "Think nothing of it. I'm over it now. I actually should be thanking you for the wake-up call at time-to-actually-use-a-strategy o' clock." The Servant smiled at this.
"You have earned my respect then Ms. Rummy. And thank you as well Ms. Angel Archer for helping to comfort her."
"Wait, how did you know that I did that huh?" Angel questioned the Servant.
The Servant took a second to chop Shinji on the head again as he attempted to rise off the floor. After he was floored a second time, the Servant spoke again. "I was under Shinji's orders to follow Rummy when she left her room. After I heard you were going to The Battle Tower, I informed him of your decision and he decided to make your life even more miserable."
"Servant, I order you to cease this at once!" Shinji exclaimed.
"You know Shinji, I didn't hear the whole thing but I'm glad that Mr. Pinochle told you off." The boy in red said.
"Why the heck are you!? I'm your Master!?" His Servant then looked at him and said, as if telling him that water was wet.
"Because, I don't like you."
"So, are you fighting me or what?" Rummy asked Shinji.
"Fine!" He angrily replied. "But it's a foregone conclusion since I'll never get beaten by a girl."
"Real mature Shinji." Said his Servant. "And another thing, I'm the one doing all of the actual fighting. But enough of this pointless bickering. I suppose I am to fight Ms. Saber, but where is she?"
Shit! Rummy thought. He's right! I don't have Saber with me, and I don't want to waste a Command Spell like some people here. That and she's digging up dirt on that Servant with Pinochle. I can't interrupt them. What should I do? … I agree with Angel, I really need to stop monologuing.
"You suppose incorrectly then boy." Said Angel. "You'll be fighting me."
"Hmm? That sounds interesting." The Servant began. "I accept your proposal."
"I am not proposing to you!" Angel retorted. "Oh wait, never mind I get it now."
And with Shinji forbidden to give objections, the four registered their Sparring Match with the receptionist and took an elevator to their Arena Floor.
Battle Tower Floor 81
"Ok, so all you need to know Rummy is that I use a gun as my weapon. It may seem a little, well weird at first but it's how I fight, ok?" Angel whispered to Rummy as they were waiting in the elevator.
"Got it Angel. Also Shinji's Servant can shoot fire from his hands, but that's all I know about his abilities." Rummy whispered to Angel. The elevator then stopped and opened revealing a room the same size of the lobby. A screen stretching across the entire top of the wall across from them was the first thing they saw. There was also a large Computer Terminal on the left and the right side of the room, each in a similar position to the other one. Between the Terminals was a large rectangle, with its' far ends just in front of the Terminals.
Each of the two teams went to a separate Terminal, Rummy to the right and Shinji to the left. Both Masters plugged their Portable Terminals into the Computer Terminals to act as their screens. The large screen on the wall then lit up showing a picture of Shinji's Servant and Saber on their Master's respective sides. They realized that this was because the equipment had no way of telling that Angel was to fight in Saber's place.
Select your battlefield. Said a loud voice. This time however, it wasn't Konton. The voice was obviously either a robot or an NPC due to its' robotic tone. Before Rummy could make a move, Shinji already selected a battlefield. The battlefield he chose was named Castle Duel. After its' selection, castle walls enclosed the perimeter from behind the Terminals and around the field. The floor was now dirt, and both Servants were standing in the middle of a castle of three floors. Specifically, they were in the court yard. Miniature walls rose in front of the Terminals. They were both high enough to protect the Terminals, and small enough to not obstruct either Master's field of view.
"Well, I guess I better get ready." Angel said as she placed her hands up her dress and began to remove her panties.
"What are you doing!?" Shinji said with both shock and excitement. This of course disgusted everyone else in the room, especially both the girls. His Servant however, just patiently waited for Angel to finish.
"This!" Angel announced as she transformed her underwear into a white pistol. Shinji was now no longer excited, he was just shocked.
"Can all girls' underwear do that? Rummy, can you do that with your panties!?" Shinji demanded, thus pissing her off.
"Yeah, no. What are you, eight? But I have to admit, this does give me an idea." Rummy then began to remove her pantyhose, and then her own panties. This gave Shinji the absolute weirdest boner right then. Rummy then walked over and gave her panties to Angel. "Can you use these too?"
"Why yes. Yes I can." Angel said before combining the two pairs of underwear. "I call upon the power of all the goodness in the universe. The charitable, who give to the needy. The kind, who comfort those who suffer. And the loyal, who will never abandon those who they care for. With this power I raise the weapon which once destroyed one thousand evil spirits. And in its' wake, I leave nothing!" Angel then turned to Shinji's Servant. "I'm ready to fight." Then with the final words, she activated her Noble Phantasm. "Noble Phantasm: Backlace EX!"
Shinji's Servant smiled at Angel. Truly, he felt that she had earned his respect. The large screen with the Servant's pictures on it then appeared on the castle wall. The voice powered up, and said the last thing that needed to be said.
Battle of Servant Saber and Servant Rider, begin!
As the two Servants charged at each other, Rummy could only think one thought. Shinji's Servant isn't a Caster after all! I was right, he is a Rider!
(Fight Music: Team Galactic Battle from the Super Smash Bros Brawl OST)
As Angel was charging Rider she began transforming Backlace into a sawed-off shotgun. Now that she had two panties to use, she could alter Backlace's shape. When they met in the middle, Angel raised the gun to Rider's head and was about to pull the trigger.
"Charizard, use Fly!"
Angel knew he was up to something now, so she squeezed the trigger as quickly as she could. A shot rang out and dust clouded her field of vision. Had she won already? No way! Angel would admit that she was reckless, but she wasn't stupid. There was no way she had won this easily. It was only then that she realized what direction of escape the command Fly implied. It was too late however, to save her as Charizard slammed his body into her and knocked her back into the castle wall.
"Y-yeah. I guess I deserved that." Angel said while emerging from the rubble. "But a beastman friend of mine on the Throne of Heroes once gave me some advice about attacks like that."
"Really?" Rider asked with a smile, while on top of what can only be described as an orange dragon with a flame on the end of his tail.
"He told me, sneak attacks only work once!" Angel said as she transformed Backlace into a turret and opened fire.
"Return Charizard! Go Turtley!" Rider said as he exchanged his dragon for what appeared to be a giant turtle with a bullet proof shell. Said shell was able to deflect all of the bullets with ease.
"Damn it you're good!"
"Now, Hydro Pump!" Rider said to his Blastoise, who then revealed, and aimed, his cannons at Angel. She barely managed to dodge the high pressured blasts of water, but she jumped and landed to the right of Rider. From this position she proceeded to punch Rider in the face several times until his Blastoise took a swing at her with his shoulder. That's when Angel jumped back, retrieved Backlace, and ran into the castle. Rider's Blastoise was about to follow when Rider told it to stop. He then recalled his Blastoise, and picked up two of the orbs on his belt. He held one in each hand. I may not know what she's up to, but if I have these two ready than I should be able to counter it. Now we play the waiting game. There he and both Masters waited for what felt like an eternity, but in actuality was only three minutes. There she is! Rider thought as he dropped the ball in his left hand.
"Pika, use Hundred Thousand Volts!" Rider yelled as a strange electric mouse launched two lightning bolts from his cheeks at one of the castle's windows. One hit the bullet shot at Rider's temple. The other hit Backlace, now in the form of a sniper rifle. The electricity passed through Backlace and shocked Angel. This caused her to lose her balance, and sent her falling out of the window.
"Angel no!" Rummy screamed. She started to run over to the window.
"Hey, you can't interfere with a battle between Servants! If you do then you forfeit!" Shinji jeered. But it didn't matter. The next thing Shinji and Rider saw, was Rummy sacrificing both her arms to catch Angel from a three story drop.
Crack. Rummy's arms both shattered as she caught Angel, but despite all the pain she felt and the tears rolling down her cheeks she didn't scream. She then used her broken arms to gently lay Angel on the ground. It was the worst pain she had ever felt. Angel just looked at her in awe.
"Y-you saved me." Angel muttered. "T-thank you."
"Of course Angel." Rummy replied. "You're my friend so of course I'd save you."
"Heh. F-friend or no friend, I d-didn't want you to break your arms for me ya' dumb bitch." Angel joked.
"Said the slut who just fell out of the third floor of a freaking castle." Rummy joked back. Shinji was confused, but Rider knew from seeing them before. This was their way of telling each other that they'd always be there for them.
"Rider, kill them now!" Shinji screamed. Rider turned to see Shinji's Command Spell start to glow. He was going to issue another order. However, fate was on Rummy's side. A bullet hit the castle wall behind Shinji's head, barely missing him. Needless to say, his order was interrupted. "W-who's there!? Show yourself!" Shinji yelled.
"Thank goodness we made it in time. Now Archer, what do you have to say for yourself?" This voice belonged to an older man with white hair and a white beard and mustache. He wore a three layered outfit of chain mail, a long sleeved black tunic, and a green chest plate. His black boots also were armored and came up to his knees. The green of his eyes informed one that he had been through many trials and had gained wisdom because of them.
"Who is that Angel?" Rummy asked.
"Unfortunately, that man is my Master."
"He looks kind of cool though."
"Ugh, please don't compliment him when he's just gonna' chew me out."
"Archer." Blackmore began. "I shall not apprehend you for this violation to the code of chivalry that you have made."
"Yeah yeah. Wait, what?" Angel said confused, for this was the part where her Master usually scolded her.
"I heard from a reliable source that you were there for that girl when she needed somebody." Blackmore's voice then took an understanding tone. "I am honored that my Servant was able to save such a young person from the depths of despair. And so, I am willing to overlook how you ran away from me earlier this morning."
"T-thanks I guess." Angel responded in shock from being praise by Blackmore, though she was still unsure of why her Master was here. Blackmore then turned to Rummy.
"It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Sir Dan Blackmore, a knight in service of the queen."
"And I am Rummy, a Master sharing a Servant with another."
"Wait, sharing a Servant?" Angel questioned, to which Rummy promised to explain later.
"Yes, I have been informed of your unique situation. Though you need not worry for I do not think any less of you because of it." Blackmore kindly informed Rummy.
"Guys, someone kind of just tried to kill me!" Shinji yelled in panic. This sentence was finished by another bullet hitting the previous one and Shinji screaming like a little girl.
"Oh stop your whining!" Called out the most familiar voice to every Master and Servant in The Grail War. Everyone looked up to see Konton lying on top of one of the castle tower's roofs.
"Mr. Konton Coded was the one who informed me of the situation regarding you Rummy, and of the match being fought here. He also informed me that Archer's opponent was a frequent user of dirty tricks." Blackmore then glared at Shinji, recognizing him from Konton's earlier description. "You are a disgrace to the laws of chivalry, and to honor itself! How can you even call yourself a man?! The entire country of England shall know of you as her new enemy."
This day was obviously not going well for Shinji. He lost his power over Pinochle, learned that his own Servant didn't like him, and now an entire country hated his guts. But he still had one ace up his sleeve.
"Konton, Rummy just interfered with a match between Servants! I demand that she be disqualified from The Holy Grail War!" Shinji ordered. This order though, only made the administrator burst out laughing.
"This coming from the kid who was just going to kill them outside the arena?" Konton said amidst his laughter. He then regained his composure, and began acting out a scene between two characters in response to Shinji's request.
"Ring Ring."
"Hello, this is Pot."
"Hi it's me, Kettle!"
"Oh hi Kettle, what's going on?"
"I'd just like to say that you're black."
"Well I'd like to say I've been fucking your wife!"
Shinji stared at Konton in shock. Blackmore let out a sign at Konton's use of profanity. Everyone else burst out laughing. Even Rider cracked a smile and started to chuckle. Konton realized that Shinji was struggling to understand the most recent verbal smack down delivered to him, so he decided to offer him a hand.
"Means no."
"What, why!?" Shinji demanded.
"Because nobody here likes you. And because you are just as guilty as they are if not more. Now close your food hole, I have a reason for coming here." Konton then jumped down. For obvious reasons, this startled Rummy. Naturally she was surprised when he floated down gently after falling halfway.
"Cheater!" Rummy jeered at Konton.
"I hope you realize I came down here to heal your arms." Konton retorted.
"I am not worthy." Rummy replied. Satisfied, Konton walked over to Rummy and touched her shoulders with his hands. Her arms then began to glow with a bluish light. Her arms, twisted beyond all natural positions, slowly began to return to a normal shape. This continued on for about five minutes. After that time had passed Rummy's arms were completely healed.
"Gotta' love my Admin privileges." Konton said to himself. "So, do you wanna' continue the fight? Sir Blackmore said he would allow it."
"Sure." Angel said. "I'm ready to kick some more ass."
Rider chuckled a little. "Then I will be your opponent for as long as you wish Ms. Angel Archer." And with that, the fight resumed with the addition of two spectators.
(Fight Music: The Clash by Sound Factory Carolina)
"Pika, return!" Rider yelled out. He then grabbed another sphere off his belt with his left hand.
"Oh no you don't!" Angel yelled as she transformed Backlace into a handgun and shot the ball out of his hand. Yes! Now he has to go over to get that ball, but by the time he does he's gonna' be full of lead.
Rider then proceeded to activate the sphere in his right hand, calling forth his Charizard once more. His Charizard then took him into the sky again
"Crap! That's the same one he was holding while he was waiting for you to attack him from the castle!" Rummy exclaimed.
"Don't you ever put anything back?!" Angel questioned while turning Backlace into an anti aircraft missile launcher and going trigger happy.
"I just decided to do what a scout would do and Be Prepared!" Rider yelled while his Charizard slashed at Angel with blades of wind. "Air Slash!"
Angel barely managed to dodge these and take Backlace with her as Rider did the same to the missiles. "Like you're actually a Scout!" Angel said while snapping her fingers. The missiles then began to turn around and head back towards Rider.
"Mother of Arceus, those missiles are homing!" Rider yelled before his Charizard threw him off and took the hit from six missiles. The Pocket Monster then returned, and Rider continued freefalling. However, unlike Angel Rider hadn't been harmed before falling. This meant that he was able to think clearly enough to grab one of his spheres and summon another one of his mounts.
"Go Lax!" Rider screamed as his Snorlax appeared on the ground underneath him. He then used his Snorlax as a makeshift trampoline, and bounced up on contact with him. Angel however, took this opportunity to transform Backlace again.
"O hero of the past, I behest thee. Lend me thine power, and crush my enemies before me!" Angel chanted as Backlace took the shape of a certain Thompson Contender. "Noble Phantasm Alter: Origin Shot!" Angle then took aim and shot the Servant in the left shoulder. This caused Rider to fall off of his Snorlax trampoline. Angel took a moment to be proud of herself for hitting the guy but it didn't last.
"Wait, I shot you with the Origin Bullet. How come your Noble Phantasm Creature thing is still here?" Angel asked. Rider got to his feet holding his wound and began to answer her.
"I assume then that that shot was meant to disable my use of Noble Phantasm." Rider deduced. "In that case let me tell you something about my Noble Phantasm. The spheres you see around my waist are my Noble Phantasm: Monster Ball. The creatures within them however, are not my Noble Phantasm. They are my familiars, as you would put it. In other words, I may not be able to change my familiar but shooting me with that won't get rid of him."
Angel chuckled a little at this. "So basically this is your last stand?" She was getting thrilled by all the action going on. This is almost as good as sex! Almost.
"I guess you could call it that." Rider told her.
"In that case." Angel began with a smirk. "Then here I come!" She began to transform Backlace into a minigun, and Rider called out to his Snorlax.
"Lax, Earthquake!"
The ground began to shake violently. Konton realized the danger and immediately used his Administrator tools to give a force field to each of the Masters and to himself. His reaction was justified as the castle walls began to crumble. Pieces of stone began to fall everywhere, making huge craters in the ground.
Angel finished Backlace's transformation just as a piece of stone began to fall over her head. Realizing her time was running out, Angel took aim at her targets and began to fire. As Angel was being crushed, the minigun bullets tore through Rider's Snorlax and then proceeded to tear through Rider himself. Rider's body disappeared from the bullet wounds at the same time Angel's body disappeared from being crushed to a bloody pulp. The Skirmish Match was over. It was a draw.
Rummy's Private Room
After saying her goodbyes and taking care of business, Rummy returned to her private room as tired as a fatherfucker. When she entered the room, she was fully intent on collapsing. However she wasn't fortunate enough to get the chance.
"Rummy, are you ok?! Saber and I were so worried about you! We searched everywhere for you!" As previously stated, she wasn't fortunate enough to get the chance to collapse due to an extremely worried and concerned Pinochle jumping on her with questions the millisecond she got back.
"I'm ok Nucks." She said in her cutesy tired voice.
"You don't sound ok Master." Saber told her. "Why don't you sit down and relax while you tell us how your day went?"
"Kay." Rummy replied with a yawn. She then took a seat on the ground as if she were about to meditate. She then observed that Pinochle's face turned bright red and he turned away. After wondering for a few seconds why he would do that, her sleep deprived mind came up with an answer.
"Oh yeah, I left my panties with Angel. Don't worry though, I'm too tired to care if you see it." At this utterance, even Saber began to blush.
"In any case Master, how about you change into your pajamas before we talk?" Saber asked, now embarrassed as well.
"Kay." Was Rummy's tired and spacey reply.
After the awkwardness had subsided, the three began to converse on how they each spent their day.
"So then he says." Rummy said, now beginning her impression of Konton.
"Ring Ring."
"Hello, this is Pot."
"Hi it's me, Kettle!"
"Oh hi Kettle, what's going on?"
"I'd just like to say that you're black."
"Well I'd like to say I've been fucking your wife!"
The three then burst out laughing. The things that guy said sometimes were just too hilarious.
"Oh man." Pinochle said as he struggled to catch his breath. "That was hysterical."
"I know right?!" Rummy said like an excited valley girl. Her reason for having this newfound energy was, of course, caffeine. "But anywayz, I'm pretty sure we shared all of the information we found out about Shinji's Servant today."
"I would like to agree with you as well Master." Saber stated. "I believe that we are very close to unraveling Rider's identity. It seems that we only need one more piece to the puzzle."
"Yeah, and it's all thanks to you Rummy." Pinochle said.
"Oh you." Rummy replied with fake embarrassment. "Well then, I think that I'm going to turn in fo' teh night." After she had finished her sentence, she immediately and literally fell asleep. Literally because she hit her head and legs on the floor, as she was lying on her front with her calves up in the air.
"Well, I'm really glad that Rummy's alright." Pinochle told Saber.
"And I am fortunate to have such amazing Masters." Saber responded. The two then proceeded to follow Rummy's lead and drift off into dream land. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.
(Ending Music: Proof by Mell)
Omake: Author's Room
"Hello my loyal people and welcome to the Author's room. I'm sure you know the drill by now, so I'll just get right to it! Our guest is a guy of few words. Someone that proves that Shinji is an ass that even a mother can't love. His name is Rider!"
The only swivel chair that I can afford spun around to show that it was in fact holding Rider.
"What's up Mastersword?"
"Nothing much Rider. So then, if you could relive one part of this chapter, what would it be and why?"
"Hmm, that's a tough question. But I guess I'd have to say the second part of the fight I had with Ms. Archer Angel. After Shinji had given up on ordering me around."
"What did happen to Shinji during that part anyway?"
"He was rocking back and forth behind the Terminal in the fetal position."
"Elle-Oh-Flippin'-Elle! So anything else you wanna' mention?"
"Two things actually. First, I was slightly disappointed that this chapter didn't have any Kirei or Deadpool moments. They're one of my favorite parts of this fic.
"We love you too!" Screamed Kirei and Deadpool in the Live Studio Audience as they both cried manly tears and operated a booth selling official Rider and Pokemon merchandise.
"There, I wrote one in for you."
"Much obliged. And my final question is something the readers are probably wondering too. How did Angel get her hands on Kiritsugu's Origin Shot?"
"Well Rider, that is a very good question. And that question as well as many others will all be answered in the next exciting chapter of Fate:EXTRA Insanity Ball Z!"
"So in other words, you just put it in spur of the moment because it looked cool and you hope you can come up with some reason to justify it by the time you write the next chapter."
"That is not true! I totally have a reason!"
"If you do than why don't you tell me?"
"But if you wait as an added bonus we'll reveal your identity!"
"If they haven't figured it out by now they're hopeless."
"Goodnight Everybody!"
"But I wasn't finished talking."
Author Note:
Hello once again everyone. I just have a few things to say, then I promise that the chapter will be over. I really made it long compared to my other chapters. I guess that's what happens when you work for over twelve hours in a single day. (Save me! TT_TT) But anyway, now for my notes. The move Hundred Thousand Volts that Rider's Pikachu used is the translation of the Japanese name for the Thunderbolt attack. I decided to call it as such to avoid using the phrase "Pikachu, use thunderbolt!" and because Hundred Thousand Volts sounds way more badass! The next thing is that I'm opening up a new omake starting next chapter. It will be called, Gilgamesh's Question Throne-Room! If you by chance include a question for any character in a private message to me, I may decide to use it as Gilgamesh forces the cast of this fanfic to answer question after question. But then again I may not. After all, I have plenty of questions for the cast as well. And lastly, I want to thank you all for being there for me. I already mentioned it, but I took off due to my wisdom teeth surgery. I'm sorry that I didn't let you guys know, but I'll be sure to let you know if this fic is going on hiatus from now on. Really though, at the end of the day I do all of this for you guys. I hope you all like what I made for you. If you so feel inclined, please review this story to constructively criticize/motivate me. Thank you very much everyone, and, as always,
Stay Awesome!