Curse of the Nanban Mirror
"A-Achoo!" I sniffled, but without any warning a warm body pressed up against me from behind and two arms wrapped around my front. I froze in horror of the intimate contact.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I twitched at the familiar voice. I said this once before and I'll say it again. Someone up there really hates me.
Chapter Three: My Dumpling, Killer, Romeo
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M AUDITIONING FOR JULIET?!" Ranma roared in horror. I sat in my seat hiding my amused grin behind my textbook.
"But your name is on the list! Look!"
"I never signed up!" he complained.
"Hmph, only perverts like you would purposely do this!" Akane snorted with her arms crossed.
"But—Akane!" Ranma protested.
I bit the insides of my cheek to prevent myself from cracking up laughing. This whole situation is just too hilarious. "Katsuya-kun, I have you signed up for Juliet and Romeo."
I glanced up, startled by the comment. "Pardon?"
He glanced at his list again. "I have Katsuya Shinochi signed up for Romeo and Juliet. You are Katsuya Shinochi right?"
"Katsuya-kun is auditioning as Romeo!" one of the girls squealed.
"But for Juliet as well?" another girl murmured.
"Katsuya-kun probably did it as a joke. Just so Ranma won't feel bad!"
"Aw! He's so sweet." I really envy the logic of these fan girls. They would never fault the person they admire… Hmm… Maybe I should audition just for the heck of it… No.
"Ha! Someone set us up!" Ranma argued and jumped next to me. "We're not going to do it! You can't prove it's us! Right Katsu?"
Well… maybe I can let him off this one time. "Oh yeah! I remember seeing Katsuya-kun at the sheet yesterday!" Damn it, there goes my hopes of staying out of trouble.
I smiled sheepishly with a chuckle. "I kind of did. I thought it would be fun!"
"What!? But Why Juliet too? You're a man aren't you?" he argued.
My eye twitched, I know how he was raised and what he was made to believe, but I still hate sexist comments like those! "It is actually considered the highest caliber of skill during Shakespeare's time to be able to perform the role of a woman flawlessly. Are you skillful and man enough to play the role of Juliet, Ranma?" I smirked challengingly.
His temper flared up as expected. "Is that a challenge?"
I smiled brightly. "If you're willing to accept, then sure." I quickly added, "Friendly competition of course." Do you think I want to get maimed? He practices anything goes, which means dirty tricks are allowed.
"Friendly… competition?" he said it as if it's completely foreign to him… oh wait, it is.
"Men!" Akane huffed before storming out.
"Akane…" He seemed pained that Akane was mad at him again.
I turned to the drama club member and whispered. "Where is the auditions held?"
He lit up almost immediately. "It's at the gymnasium during club hours."
"We'll see you then!" I ushered him out of the classroom.
"Katsuya-kun want to have lunch with us?" asked one of the girls.
I twitched and sweated nervously. "Actually, I have something I want to talk to Ranma about!" I quickly grabbed my bag and Ranma by the shoulder and dragged him out before he can comment about the abrupt leaving. "Sorry ladies!" I flashed them another smile before disappearing from the classroom.
I dropped the smile once out of their sight and pushed Ranma to the roof. "So! What do you want to talk to me about?" he grinned happily.
"I am really surprised at your adaptability," I commented dryly under my breath before plopping down against the fence, furthest from the door.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, did you bring lunch?" I love food questions, they always distract people.
He sighed. "No, Akane made lunch."
I grinned. "Well, I made extra. It was supposed to be for you, Akane-san and me, but since she's furious with the both of us, why don't we eat her share too?"
He gave me a strange look; I was expecting a glow of excitement at the mention of food. "Are you related to the Hibikis by any chance?"
I gave him a puzzled look. "I don't know any Hibikis." Not exactly lying, I don't know any Hibikis personally. "Why do you ask?"
"It's just that… Your fangs and your sense of direction…"
I blinked in surprise before laughing. "Fangs are not uncommon… though, I can't say much about direction sense." I shrugged. "But I really don't know any Hibiki."
He still seemed a bit uncertain but accepted my words none the less. "So what's lunch?" he perked up.
"Okonomiyaki, it's not as good as my aunt's though. She's a real pro!" Yes, I know how to make it. You're probably thinking, OH how Mary Sue of her… Well, don't! I was trained personally by my aunt and she's a true master in okonomiyaki, she is a hell of a strict teacher. I'm nowhere near her abilities though… There's this one little quirk about my cooking that I can't seem to get rid of…
"Hey, this sweet," he said in surprise. Yep, I have a sweet touch. Everything I make turns out sweet, even if I don't use sugar… which is bad for me because I get major sugar highs. "It's almost as good as Ukyo's." Surprisingly, he's actually taking his time to eat this. "How did you get the meat sweet? You did the same thing with dinner last time too!"
"It's more like I can't get it to stop being sweet… So what do you think? Like it? Hate it?" I munched on my own.
"It's sweet!" he smiled brightly as he munched on it. I guess he has a sweet tooth… Hmm… come to think of it, my dad and sis has a serious case of sweet tooth too. They're about the only ones in the house that likes my cooking.
Well, lunch went on peacefully… which is quite a surprise. I had to look around just to make sure it was really safe before I dragged Ranma off to the gymnasium for the auditions (He complained the whole way there, but didn't really do anything to get away, I have his honor!). On my way there, I made sure to stop and tell Akane's friends to get Akane to come. Even if she's mad she shouldn't miss Ranma's most embarrassing moment!
"Katsuya! Glad you can make it!" the director shouted gleefully as I stepped in. I sweat dropped when I saw the horrid fan club sitting around the gymnasium. "I couldn't do anything about them though… I owe Nabiki a favor." He whispered with a strain.
Ah, I'm guessing she's the one that signed me up. "It's not a problem."
"Good, good! Then we'll start with the auditions!" he clapped.
The door slammed open and the most obnoxious voice I've ever hear spoke aloud. "How dare you start without the Mighty Blue Thunder Tatewaki Kuno!"
"Kuno sempai…" the drama cast backed away in horror. Can't blame them; I would do the same to if Kuno came up to me like that… Though I'm surprised that he actually came to the audition.
He points his bokuto at me. "I don't know what sorcery you have learned from the sorcerer Ranma! You blue-eyed demon, but I will not let to continue to defile the sanctity of Furinkan! You dare take the fair maiden Akane's lips away from me."
"WHAT!?" the fan girls screamed.
I blinked rapidly and stepped away from Ranma, I'm not sure how brash he is in this situation, but better be safe for a few more seconds. "Pardon? I don't believe I've ever kissed anyone in short of my mother and that's only on the cheek." This is true; I promised mom and dad I'm not going to date until I'm completely done with schooling.
"I am not implying you defiled dear Akane," he damn well sounds like he's implying a whole lot of crap. "Merely suggesting your underhanded ways to deny her of being Juliet!"
Oh that… Should've known Kuno would pick fights for the worst reasons… I guess it's time to play his game now. "Kuno sempai, I have—"
"Cease talking you sorcery apprentice!" he roared before marching over to the director. "Commence the auditioning!"
I wasn't sure why he did the auditions for the minor characters first, but I don't really care. He's the director, so he'll do it his way. I rubbed my irritated nose; it's a bit dusty in here… I'm allergic to dust. When it was Kuno's turn to proceed with Romeo's role, I sneezed repeatedly… not purposely though. I had Kuno glaring at me after my third sneeze. Not that it matters anyway. He was rewording Shakespeare's words and mauling into some floral nonsense. Shakespeare must be rolling in his grave right now. Don't worry dear Shakespeare! I'll redeem your work!
"Katsuya! You're up next! Death scene! Act five, scene three. Use the mannequin please."
I strode over to the dusty mannequin before flipping the pages and clearing my throat; it's starting to get flemmy. "From this world-wearied flesh," my eyes watered, stupid allergies. "Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace!" I coughed, "and lips! O you! The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss." I whispered as my throat itched badly.
"Katsuya, skip to the poison!"
"Here's to my love!" I choked out. "O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die." I covered my mouth coughing and the tears welding up. I dropped to a knee holding my chest. It was burning.
"Wonderful! Wonderful! You can take a break Katsuya!"
Wonderful? I wasn't even acting! I'm getting allergy attacks! Why is this place so dusty!? "Katsuya-kun! You were wonderful!" the girls gushed. I smiled weakly before sitting aside wiping away the tears from my irritated eyes.
"That's all the Romeo candidates! Moving on! The Juliets!" What!? Kuno and I are the only ones for Romeo!? "Ranma, Act five, scene three, Juliet awakens to the dead Romeo."
I grinned as Ranma hesitantly walked up with the book in his hand. I could see Nabiki and Akane watching intently. "Go for it Ran-chan!" Ukyo cheered… Odd, was Ukyo supposed to be here? I don't really remember.
"Uh… What here… uh… a cup in my true love's…" he fumbled through the script with no grace and occasionally changed the words when she couldn't read it.
I stopped paying attention after a while and covered my nose and mouth with the helm of my sleeve hoping it would filter some of the dust. It's enough that I have to listen to Kuno maul Shakespeare, I don't need to hear Ranma's non-floral version. I glanced over to Akane and saw her hands clenched up tightly in fury and envy. Maybe I shouldn't have suggested the change…
"Katsuya? Katsuya!" I snapped up from my daze. "It's your turn to play Juliet."
I blinked a few times before dragging myself back into the spot light and snapped the script to the right page. "O happy dagger!" I covered my mouth in a slight cough. "This is thy sheath; there rust, let me—" I covered my mouth as I fell into a fitful of coughs and heaves. I gasped for air, but only to inhale the dust and cough even more.
"Very well done Katsuya, but I think Juliet can die right now." That idiot! I'm coughing out a lung here and he thinks I'm still acting!?
I tried to leave the gymnasium before my allergy attack gets to its final stage, but I didn't make even a step, when I collapsed to the ground trembling and coughing. "Oi! Katsu isn't acting!" Ranma shouted.
"Everyone move out of the way!" Akane shouted. "Ranma, carry him to the infirmary!" That's the last thing I heard before the chaotic screams of the fan girls broke out.
o.o.o.o.o
Three bottles of water, two changes of wet towels and half an hour later, I was sitting in the infirmary bed with a horrible headache, a sore throat and a stuffy nose. "How are you feeling?" Akane asked worriedly.
How I wish I had a bottle of Claritin allergy meds right now… too bad it isn't even developed yet! Ugh... I hope Tofu sensei is right about opening my chi points can improve on my health. I'm quite certain that I will not be dying from the dangers of Nerima. Much rather, dead from the danger of a dust bunny attack. I must've pissed off someone in my past life or something, because I'm even sicklier than Gosunkugi!
"I'm fine now… I thought I could get through the rest of the audition before my allergies kicked in completely." I laughed sheepishly.
"Why didn't you say anything!?" the two snapped furiously.
"I forgot?" they face faulted at my answer. I must confess one thing; I do have a very bad memory. Unless it kills me, I often forget the long list of allergies I get. Dust doesn't necessarily kill me, just makes me suffer for a long while… Rarely, to the point of unconsciousness.
"How can you forget these—" Akane was promptly cut off.
Ranma placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it shouldn't be weird. Ryouga loses his way all the time right? Maybe Katsu just forgets very easily."
"Hey Akane-san…" she glanced over to me. "Sorry about the Juliet thing." She smiled, maybe she's over it?
SLAP
"I forgive you," she turned her heel and left. Maybe not.
I raised a hand to my stinging face biting back a scream of pain. Man! This girl can hit! I don't even remember my dad hitting that hard! Well… then again, dad usually doesn't make it a habit to hit girls. I curled over with my head against my knees.
Ranma snickered. "For once I'm glad I'm not on the other side."
"Laugh at my pain why don't you?" I hissed with my eyes watering as I sat up. It seems like I'm taking all of Ranma's punishment by just being here… Why is that? He continued to snicker as I tossed a pillow at his face; he easily caught it and returned it into my face.
o.o.o.o.o
"You're adapting very well Katsuya-kun," Tofu sensei chirped. "You almost manage to stay awake this time."
I groaned, not daring to move more than necessary. I was draped over one of the couches in Tofu sensei's office with a cold towel over my eyes. This time, instead of being stabbed, it was being burned alive starting from my eye sockets.
"Does this mean I don't need my reading glasses anymore?"
"You wear glasses?" he seemed genuinely surprised.
"It's just reading glasses. I can see long distances perfectly fine… though… it doesn't feel like I can open my eyes for a while."
"Your eyes should be fine; it just needs a little rest from the extra chi in your system." I groaned again. "But on the bright side, with the stored chi you've got from the chi points your body is nearly working as if you have 98 chi points open."
"Then does that mean I don't have to open all the points?" I grumbled.
"Hmm… I'm not too certain yet. While your store chi is more than I expected, I'm not sure if you'll have enough once the store chi is used up."
"Then can't I just open the points later if that's the case?"
"I forgot to mention—" Now what? "If you're going to open chi points, there's an age and time limit. Unless it was sealed by another, it's usually not wise to open chi points unnecessarily, more so if those points have stored chi. The best time for you to open them is before you become twenty. After the age of twenty, it'll be risky to open them recklessly."
"How long does it take for store chi to run out?" I asked.
"A few years, so if we waited, it would be too late by the time it runs out and returns to normal." He chuckled. "So you'll have to get your points all opened up."
"Can you write me a note, I don't want to go to school tomorrow," I'm not sure if it came out a whine or a groan, too much pain to care.
"Come now Katsuya, you need to move and get used to the extra chi in your body. Besides, you don't want your grades to suffer do you?"
"Grades don't really matter to me… question, is it okay if I have a light source being directed to my eyes after this?"
"Are you planning to have a flash light against your eye?" he asked.
"No, just asking… So what's the amount of light am I allowed to stare at, at the moment?"
"As long as it's not harsh light, you should be fine." I heard his shuffle around the room. "What are you planning to do?"
I peeled off the wet cloth and blinked a few times to adjust my eyes to the light. It still stung a little, but it wasn't as bad as before. "Nothing harmful, I'll see you tomorrow Tofu sensei."
That's two days, six chi points opened, but another fifty-eight more to go. I sighed exasperatedly as I strolled through the market to pick up more food. With Ranma stopping by what seems like daily; I don't think I can go two days without doing another shopping trip. Man, I really hate shopping; it's just so boring and tedious… Oh well, at least it's for food.
"This much for pork? I don't even want to know how much the price went up for beef." I muttered under my breath.
"Come back here!" I glanced up at the voice of the butcher. He was chasing an interesting little black piglet with a yellow bandanna.
Poor guy, he should really get a break once in a while. I quickly stepped in and grabbed him before he ran off again. "I'm sorry, but this piglet has an owner."
"What proof do you have? That thing doesn't have a name tag or a collar." snarled the butcher.
Ah, right… I forgot about that. I quickly answered the first thing that came to my mind. "He belongs to Ranma Saotome." Ryouga fidgeted furiously in my arms, but the butcher froze in horror.
"S-Saotome!? The property destroyer!?" I had to blink at that. I didn't know the locals gave him a title. "Take the pig! I don't want him anywhere near my shop! SHOO! SHOO!"
With that, I was shoved out of the shop before I got my meat… I wonder does black piglet taste good right about now. He continued to struggle and attempted to bite me a few times, but with a few spins by the bandanna and a firm hand over his mouth, I managed to hold him to a more controllable state. Though, it is a bit hard since he's so small. It's much easier if he was as big as my dog, with my dog, I can use my arms as well, but he's just so puny. My hands still aren't that big, even as a guy.
"Stay still would you P-chan! I'm trying to help you here!" He continued to struggle before I finally snapped furiously. "Don't make me suggest to Akane-san to get you neutered." He became stiff again. I let out a breath of relief. "Good, I'm glad we understand each other. You're pretty smart for a pig," I grinned and tapped him on the nose. I can't help it; he looks as adorable as a piglet! "Tell you what; I'll make you dinner before I take you back to Akane-san."
"Bwuhe!" he responded in confusion.
"Now… Where the hell am I?" I sweat dropped and glanced around.
"Bwuhe…" his expression dropped dejectedly.
"Oh right! I was supposed to get vegetables!" I concluded and… promptly got lost again. I didn't get home until an hour later. I wonder… Why does it seem like my sense of direction seems to be a bit worst today?
I set him down on the counter as I unloaded the groceries and my bag. "Now you sit right there and DON'T MOVE! Or I'll slice you up and roast you for tomorrow's dinner!" He froze in horror at the sight of the cleaver. I changed from my dangerous scowl to a cheerful smile. "Now, what would be a good dinner menu for tonight?" I placed down the cleaver and set a pot of hot water to boil for the vegetables.
"GAH!!!" I closed my eyes with a strained smile over my face. My daily visitor has crashed into my apartment once again… at least I cushioned it with my futon this time. Don't think I'm being considerate; I don't want him denting my wall! Though… I should really consider changing that window to a dog door, so I don't have to bother with the patching up.
"I guess I'll ask Ranma what he wants to eat tonight," I gave a broken laugh before sorting through the ingredients.
"Bwehe!" I glanced up to Ryouga's angry tap on the counter.
"Is something wrong?"
"Bwehe, bwehe! Bwehe!" he continued to tap and pointed where the sound of Ranma crashing in came from.
"Katsu! Thanks for putting a futon there! Akane's aim is being dead accurate lately. What's for dinner?" Ranma commented as he strolled in. He paused and glared at Ryouga when he spotted him. "What are you doing here, Ryouga!?" he hissed in an attempt to not have me listen…
Too bad he doesn't know my hearing is quite sensitive. I can hear mouse frequencies… don't call it cool! IT IS NOT! You do not know how maddening it is to hear those mouse away radio traps. I was banging my head against the floor, hunting each and everyone down in the house when my sister set them around the house to get rid of our pest problem. And you know what happened? The mice weren't even bothered by it!
When I turned around I found Ryouga with his teeth firmly around Ranma's right arm and the pigtailed martial artist trying to swing him off. I mentally sighed as I reached for my cleaver; Ryouga is bound to break something.
"What did I say pig!?" I pointed the cleaver dangerously.
"A-ah, Katsu? What are you doing?" Ranma asked as he and Ryouga froze and backed away slightly.
"I said I'll cook you if you moved!" I snapped.
"BWEHE!" Ryouga coward in Ranma's arms in an attempt to flee from me.
"Katsu! Calm down for a sec! You don't want to kill this pig!" Ranma quickly backed away further from me.
"Don't worry! I'll buy a new one for Akane-san, one that's more obedient," I added. Man, it's fun to watch Ryouga coward in horror. Hehe, being evil is fun! "My dad taught my how to make a very nice roast pork dish." And he really did, especially when I was young. We had pork almost daily.
"Bwehee!!!!" Ryouga cried again and tapped Ranma on the chest rapidly before pointing at me. Ranma blinked confusingly, until he jumped out of his arms.
My eyes widened, he wasn't pointing at me! He was pointing at the pot behind me! "Hey I was kidding you crazy pig! Don't jump into the pot!"
I'm not interested in looking at any male's naughty bits! I even change in the bathroom during gym to avoid looking at all! I raised my free hand in an attempt to catch him, but I missed by a centimeter and he plunged into the water. PLEASE don't let the water be warm enough to change him back! I winced as I heard the pot topple over, no doubt with the now human Ryouga. Shit, how am I supposed to react? Shocked? Disgusted? Horrified?
"Uh Katsu?" Ranma asked.
Stunned, I decided, as I dropped the cleaver on the ground and quickly left the room and hurried over to my drawer to dig out some clothes. I know! I'll go back to Tofu sensei for another chi point opening session! And hopefully it'll gorge out my eyes this time. Ack! The fire is still on in the kitchen! I hurried back and tossed the pile of clothes and Ryouga before hurrying to the stove.
"Katsu?" Ranma asked again.
"I'm not going to ask! So don't bother telling me. Get your friend, whoever he is dressed and seated outside, I'll have dinner out in a while." I said as I worked. Quick to the point, and no loophole to come back to bite my ass later. Dinner was a bit awkward, but it went by quickly.
"Hey Katsu—"
"Like I say, I won't ask, so don't bother telling. Ryouga-san, you're welcome back here anytime just as Ranma… just don't turn back in front of me if you're in your other form."
"It's a cursed form—"
"Don't tell me!" I interrupted. "I'll call it that if you want me to, but I don't want to know anymore. I'll see you at school tomorrow Ranma. And I'll see you if you plan on visiting again Hibiki-san."
Ranma swung a playful arm over my shoulder. "Just call him Ryouga! Yeesh! Why do you have to be so formal all the time?"
"It's the matter of choice if someone wants to be polite Ranma," I replied dryly before pulling his arm off my shoulder. "I believe it's getting late and you should get back before Akane-san decides to send you back here for the night. Her aim is very impeccable."
"Tell me about it," Ranma grumbled before turning to leave. "Night Katsu!"
"Thanks for the meal!" Ryouga said in turn.
I waved them good night before closing the door and whipping out my laptop. I haven't touched this in days; it's pretty much useless to my effort to live in this world though. It has no internet access and no Ranma files. The only thing it's good for is typing up documents, printing and most importantly, gaming! Now excuse me for the next five hours to destroy my brain cells with mindless gaming. You're going down Sephiroth!
o.o.o.o.o
"Good morning Ka—"
"Go to hell!" I snapped as I stalked to school with a dark cloud over my head. Maybe I should've gotten more than half an hour of sleep before school started… Oh well, too late to care now!
"Katsuya-sama!" I froze in horror and quickly turned around. My eyes widened before I turned back towards the school and ran. RUN! RUN FOR MY FUCKING LIFE! "OHOHOHOHO!" Do you feel my sense of dread right now?
"Out of my way!" I snapped and rudely shoved people aside; unfortunately, the ribbon caught my ankle and pulled me off the ground.
"Don't run Katsuya-sama! We must get going before Ranma-sama arrives!" she cackled again.
"Kodachi-san, don't' you have school?" I scowled and struggled through the bindings of her ribbon. It's too early for this nonsense!
"It's Saturday! My school follows the practice of the westerners."
Oh right, I completely forgot about the Saturday school doesn't apply to the catholic schools. Saturday school during my time was just recently taken off the curriculum, but I did have them during elementary and junior high school… At least I don't have to go to cram school here… Hey wait! I'm going off topic.
"Kodachi-san! But I still have school!"
"Katsuya-sama is an intelligent being! You can catch up easily!"
"Apprentice sorcerer! I see you've ensnarled my little sister." I struggle a bit to see Kuno strolling up casually.
"Good morning onni-sama!"
"Kuno sempai! I have no intentions of—"
"I approve!" he whipped out his fan and laughed. "I question your interests, but this is a great improvement to whatever poor damsel you decide to take!"
Oh all the luck! "Hey look! It's Ranma and Akane!" I shouted.
Kodachi made a squeak before dropping me entirely and fled to hide. I struggle a bit to pull off the stubborn ribbon before stumbling to my feet and dashing for the school. By the time I got there I was a heaving mess. Though, it's slightly better than what usually happens back home. I leaned against the wall and slumped to the ground trying to catch my breath.
"Interesting morning isn't it Shinochi-san?" I gave a weak laugh as I glanced up to Nabiki.
"Good morning Tendo sempai." I pulled myself off the ground and pat the dust off my pants.
"Not many people can escape Kodachi Kuno without fighting, you're the first."
"Is there something you want Tendo sempai?" I asked with a smile.
She seemed to pause for a second before smiling again… I wonder why she paused. "It's really a pity that you couldn't be in the play Shinochi-san."
"It is, isn't Tendo sempai? I was actually looking forward to it." Lies! All lies! But what better way to annoy someone that's trying to irritate you? She seemed surprised by my answer as well. The bell rung. "Well, I better get to class before I'm late. Talk to you again some other time Tendo sempai!"
Let's hope there's no other surprises when I… "Katsuya Shinochi!"
"H-Hai!" I stuttered in surprise when my homeroom teacher shouted my name as I entered.
"Oh good, you're just in time, take your seat please."
"H-hai…" I laughed sheepishly as I walked to my desk, but before I even made it there.
"Katsuya Shinochi and Ranma Saotome!" A hand grabbed onto my shoulder. "The drama club will be borrowing these two students for the play!"
"What?" I gapped.
"Oh yes, the principle mentioned it earlier. "Ranma and Katsuya you two are excused for the day to help the drama club."
I heard nothing about this! "Man, I really don't want to do this! Wasn't yesterday enough?" Ranma grumbled.
"Yesterday?" I asked, but didn't get an answer as I was nearly hauled out of the classroom. "Wait! I wasn't even told that I got a part!" I complained.
"Oh! You're not playing a part Katsuya-san! You're helping Ranma rehearse Juliet."
"I'm what?" I blinked a few times as they pulled a dust mask over my face and shoved me into the gymnasium yet again. I face faulted at the ridiculous sight of Kuno rehearsing. "I think I'm going to stay in the infirmary for the rest of the day! Good day!"
"Don't leave me here with them Katsu! You don't know what they've been doing!" Ranma begged. I raised an eyebrow at him. He's begging?
I sighed. "Fine, let me see what he's been doing wrong…" They went through the whole play once… I nearly wet myself laughing. Ranma was growling all his lines at Kuno, while the later was hissing and snarling.
"Looks like a circus if you ask me," I glanced back at the voice and spotted Ryouga.
I held my mask as I tried to pull back my chuckles. "R-Ryouga-san, haha, I didn't know you were here."
"Oh? What are you doing here P-chan?" smirked Ranma.
"Who are you calling P-chan!?" He flushed.
I blinked. "But Ranma is right—"
"What!?" Ryouga turned to me furiously.
I waved my hand quickly to placate him. "I meant why are you here."
"The porker probably got lost again," Ranma laughed before he got a bucket full of cold water in his face.
"You forgot something, I just came to return it," he said smugly.
"Of course!" Takeshi shouted as he jumped out of his seat. "How could I have forgotten that!?" He practically pranced onto the stage and grabbed Ranma-chan by the hands and shook it psychotically. "Ranma, you're completely perfect for the part of Juliet!"
I winced as Kuno punched him aside and grabbed onto Ranma. "How dare you touch my pigtail goddess!"
"Ryouga-san, that's sweet of you to help Ranma keep his part," I said with a snicker.
He returned with a snicker of his own. "Of course, I would always do my best to help my rival."
We glanced at each other for a second before cracking up in laughter. Without saying much, I'll tell you the play was a hitter with the audience that came to watch the play. It also started something terrifying. Very, very terrifying… I dread and I hope I really wasn't the cause or the start of this terrible craze. I—
"Katsuya-kun! Is it true that you're madly, even deeply in love with Ranma? That's why you make such loving lunches and share with him daily? Huh? Huh!?" the girls shouted excitedly.
"Don't be silly! Why would I—"
"Katsuya-kun you pervert!" Akane roared.
"Akane-san! It's not what you think!" I raised my hands in defense as she pulled out her mallet.
"Come on Katsu!" Ranma grabbed me by the arm and hauled me out of the window.
"RANMA!!!" I screamed as it was the third floor he just pulled me out of.
"KYA!!! Look! Ranma is even saving him! It's true!"
I have started the world's greatest horror... Yaoi fandom… Forgive me world! No offense to same gender relationships, what they do in their bed in the dark is none of my business. But what their fan girls do to the world is mine! Stop pairing up straight people with their own gender, you psycho bitches! Oh yeah, where was I? Right, hugging my knees in the corner of the roof rocking back and forth chanting, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.
"Oi Katsu, snap out of it," Ranma said as he shook me.
I snapped up and grabbed Ranma by the shoulders and shook him. "Did you know what I just did Ranma!? I just brought the greatest horror to the world! I created the yaoi fandom! It's all my fault! I caused it to happen!" I released him as my hands started to shake. "They're never going to leave you alone now! Wait… They'll never leave me alone!"
"Breathe Katsu! BREATHE!" he hammered my back as I hyperventilated.
"They're going to make me uke… I don't want to be uke! Don't uke me!" I wailed but suddenly I felt a sharp pain at my neck before everything became dark again.
o.o.o.o.o
"Oi! Shinochi! Wake up!" I awoke to a stinging slap to the face.
"Ow!" I groaned as I sat up rubbing my face. A bit curious to why I'm soaking wet. "What was that for—Tendo… sempai?"
"Where did Ranma go?" she asked in a haste.
"What?" I asked as I looked up, it was late noon already. Hey wait a sec; shouldn't I be on the school roof? What am I doing on the park bench?
"Shinochi, wake up!" She snapped and pulled at my chin to catch my attention. "Do you know where they took Ranma? They took the rest of the jusenkyo cursed beings as well!"
"They took…" my eyes widened. Crap! The Jusenkyo Preservation Society (JPS) is here. "Can't be here…"
"What was that?"
"I can't be here…" I murmured as I started heaving again and stumbling to my feet.
"Shinochi?"
"I'm not feeling too well; I think I'm going to head to Tofu sensei. I hope you'll find Ranma." I murmured before stumbling off with a hand to my head.
"Wait, you're not going to help—"
"Tendo sempai," I sighed exasperatedly before turning back to her with a tired slump. "I'm not a martial artist, I have no special abilities and heck, I have the worst health in Furinkin. I'm probably the worst person to ask to look for Ranma if he's in any trouble. If anything, Ranma can take care of himself. If I went I probably become more of a hassle to have around."
"So you're the type to just ditch your friends?" she smirked.
"Don't assume anything Tendo sempai. I take my friends quite seriously, but if they can handle themselves, I'm not going to needlessly step in. He's old enough to take care of himself." I promptly sneezed before realizing I'm soaking wet. "Now if you would excuse me, I need to get a set of dry clothes before I catch a cold."
It wasn't until a block later I realized how odd it was to see Nabiki. Seemingly worried about the others as well… Maybe she was trying to catch me off guard? Ah, I have a headache, I don't want to think. However, it wasn't a choice if I wanted to or not. A plunger arrow smacked right into my forehead with a note attached to it. I stumbled in surprise before yanking off the thing irritably and flung the note open. Inside was:
Dear Katsuya Shinochi-san,
This is the Jusenkyo Preservation Society formally apologizing for our mistake earlier today. Our members have accidentally mistaken you for Ranma Saotome, another Jusenkyo member, and have done minor harm to your person. You are hereby excused from associating with Ranma Saotome. However, we advise you not to follow his steps in atrocities. The Jusenkyo Preservation Society watches over all Jusenkyo members closely and will not tolerate such acts. As of now, we are carrying out punishment to Ranma and a number of others that has broken the Jusenkyo law. If you are interested in seeing what might happen if you broke the Jusenkyo laws, you are welcome to come observe; the location is at the bottom. We bid you a good day and hope you use your abilities well.
Sincerely,
Jusenkyo Preservation Society
Member? What bull shit! Victims! We're victims! Member my ass! And what kind of sadist are they!? If I'm interested in watching them carry out their punishments!? I crumpled the letter in my hand before stalking into the closest convenience store. My dad told me this once… Oh fine, he told me probably over a few thousand times. I have a short temper with a big red button to push. You disagree? Then you don't know me that well!
In the words of my good old friend Rei. "She's a psycho bitch that has a crazy temper that gets angry at the weirdest things. And has the strangest sense of vengeance."
And that's why I came out ten minutes later with an ammunition belt of water balloons strung across my chest and six bottles of water strapped to my belt. I shifted the dust mask on my face before pumping up the water gun in my hand before marching back to the location on the letter. Though… I didn't curse at my own stupidity until I missed my target and remembered how bad my aim is.
"You idiot! What are you doing!? Run!" Ranma snapped.
I made a hazardous jump from one ledge to the other, nearly tripping and falling in the process. I gave a yelp as the man swung down his spear and rolled out of the way before grabbing one of the balloons and smashed it in his face. That brought another problem… The balloon I bought has very good elastic stretchiness… so it didn't pop.
"GAH!" I shouted and stumbled to my feet and ran. Now why am I in this situation again? Just as I ran at the next tree I bit back a scream of pain when I felt hot water hit my back. FUCK! Hot water! I quickly grabbed one of the water bottles and doused myself with cold water before running again. Ow! That really hurt!
"I got you now!" He roared and swung his spear yet again.
I gave a yelp as I dropped to the ground. However, before I could do anything else, a pair of hands grabbed my ankles and pulled me away from my attacker, by slipping through the spot between his legs.
"Give me those Katsu!" I quickly pulled off the belt of water balloons and tossed it to Ranma before stumbling to a safe spot to watch. Apparently panda Genma helped him out of the ropes and he himself got the hot water the JPS were using to torture him and the others.
While Ranma dealt with the JPS with the curse of the virtuous monk, I plotted on how to deal with the stash of hot water. I really wish my dad let me have martial arts lessons as a kid! Even as a man in his forties he's still has more fighting experience. The only thing I have over him is youth… and oddly I have a sense of dread that a man in green spandex would suddenly jump out and start hugging me.
"Bwehe!" I looked down and found Ryouga… he managed to get here without getting lost?
"Ryouga-san?"
"Bwehe! Bwehe!" He pointed at the kettle.
"You want to turn back and help?" I asked. He nodded determinedly. I bit my lower lip. Now, how am I going to get near him without getting hit by hot water? "Ryouga-san…"
"Bwehe?" he glanced at me again.
"Sorry," I murmured before grabbing him by the bandanna and tossed him at the JPS with the hot water. I winced as he hit the kettle; I was aiming for the JPS head actually. At least he got the water right?
"Katsu!" I quickly turned to Ranma's voice. He's out of water balloons.
I tossed the water gun towards his direction; I really didn't bother to aim, seeing how bad it is. Luckily, he managed to catch it, but the JPS was right behind him and was about to slice him. "RANMA! Behind—"
My warning was unnecessary as Ryouga kicked the guy aside. I quickly put my head down, not wanting to see anymore of Ryouga's nakedness. Once is more than enough. Damn it I want to watch the fight! I quickly shrugged off my jacket and unbutton the white shirt. I make it a habit to wear a tank or a t-shirt under it… Why does it seem like I'm always lending my clothes to Ryouga? Ah forget it; I'll wait till they're done. I sat behind a tree wringing my shirts dry, try to anyway. Hopefully, if I lend it to Ryouga he won't change… though changing might be a good thing!
"YOU STUPID PANDA! LIKE HELL I WOULD FORGIVE YOU!" I guess he's done!
"Achoo!" I sneezed; I peeled off the wet dust mask and tossed it aside.
"Oi Katsu! Thanks for the help!" Ranma greeted me cheerfully. I sneezed again before waving it off.
I glance around for second before throwing the shirt at Ryouga. "Just wear that Ryouga; it should long enough to cover… erm..." I muttered before sneezing again.
"Growfph!" I glanced over to the noise and spotted Panda Genma crawling out of the water pit the JPS used.
"Panda…" I blinked. "CUTE!" I squealed. Even knowing its Genma, pandas are still cute!
"Katsu, that's my pops," Ranma commented.
I gave him a dry look. "I don't want to know, but I'll let you know one thing! Your dad is adorable!"
"You sound like a girl." Ryouga's comment made me freeze.
"DON'T UKE ME!" I pointed furiously at him. "I'm not a girly man!"
"Uke?" Ranma said in puzzlement.
"Meow!" I stiffened at the sound. I completely forgotten Shampoo and Mousse was taken as well.
"C-CAT!!!" I screamed and backed away. Don't get me wrong! I'm not scared of cats. I'm not up a tree like where Ranma currently is… then again it could also be that I can't climb a tree, but that's not my point.
"Katsuya, you're scare of cats?" Ryouga asked as he buttoned up the last of the buttons and tugged the shirt down a bit more.
"Who's afraid of those fur balls!? I'm a-achoo!" I sneezed again and sniffled miserably. "Allergic to them."
o.o.o.o.o
And so, I was sick the next day with a cold… and I still have to come in for work. Since it was Sunday, business was usually pretty slow, so I brought something to do while I sat at the counter waiting. I've already restocked the books and put in the orders during the morning. Hopefully, this thing won't kill me; I'm attempting to make myself a pair of roller blades from scratch. This thing isn't going to be out for another twenty years. Sure, roller skates would probably be out in a while, but those things have no speed. I'm trying to cut down the time to get to school so I can sleep a bit longer.
"Katsuya! What are you doing!?" Nishio shouted as he entered. "I'm not paying you to do arts and craft!"
"Nishio," I sighed. "There is no one around during this time, I'm just being productive. Besides, it's for school. I'm sure you don't want to be held accountable if I don't do it."
He frowned. "What exactly are you making?"
"Transportation," I grinned. "Since I don't have enough to buy a bike, I'll have to make due with this. This way, I won't be late for school." I spun the wheels on my homemade blade… and the wheel fell out. "Still have some faults to fix before I can use it though."
"Fine, but when a customer comes in, that stuff disappears!" he said before stalking off.
"Of course," I sighed and pushed the glasses up the bridge of my nose before going back to fiddling with the pieces… I miss my brother, even if he is an ass. Arts and craft as Nishio calls it, isn't my specialty, more of my brother… or even my sister. Both engineers… who I'm not meant to be… you've already seen my talents.
Ring
That's my cue to put the stuff away. I mentally signed as I shuffled the stuff under the counter before I greeted the customer with a smile. "Good afternoon, welcome to Shimizu's Bookshop, how may I be of your service?"
"Plenty of things Shinochi," drawled the ice queen.
"Tendo sempai, what a coincidence? May I help you?" I continued as if nothing happened.
She grinned as she leaned on the counter. "I didn't know you wear glasses."
I blinked a few times before taking them off. "They're reading glasses, or close range glasses," I hooked it onto my necklace before giving another smile. "Of course, I wouldn't need glasses to see beauty."
Nabiki was startled by my boldness and flushed slightly after I started laughing. She's embarrassed that I caught her off guard. I'm not surprised, since I don't think anyone really had the guts to ever flirt with Nabiki. Don't get me wrong, I am not interested in girls, being a girl myself. However, it is very amusing to watch girls get flustered and blush. Though, if they start stammering and throw their voice in high pitch squeaks I'll get annoyed. Not sure if they're doing it on purpose or whatever, but the attempt to act cute is sickening… I'm going off topic again aren't I? I really have to stop doing that.
"Kasumi heard you were sick, so she decided to have me deliver this to you." She placed a small warmer pot in front of me.
"She shouldn't have!" I said modestly, but in truth, she really shouldn't have. Not likely I can eat her cooking with my lousy stomach. "It must've been a long walk here—"
"Katsuya! I'm not paying you to flirt with the customers! Even if they're— N-Nabiki Tendo." He stuttered.
"Ah, Nishio Shimizu-san," she smirked.
"I'll leave you two to talk then!" he said before turning around and running back into storage.
I raised an amused eyebrow at her. "Do I want to know?"
"Five hundred yen," she said out of reflex.
I sighed. "Sorry sempai, I'm a little tight on money."
She grinned. "You can owe me."
I chuckled. "I really don't want to see the cost rate by the end of the year sempai. I'll be sure to return the bowl later. A-achoo!"
She smirked. "Feel better Shinochi or your fan girls back at school would start more wild rumors."
"Thanks for the free warning sempai." I sniffed before she turned to leave. Well, that went better than I thought. Should I worry to why Nabiki is so nice? Ah, better not push my luck. Back to work! I pulled out my blades to work on it once again. Interestingly enough, Nishio left me alone for the rest of that time.
o.o.o.o.o
Even as a harsh employer, Nishio still have some good points... or maybe he's just scared shitless by Nabiki, either way is fine with me. He let me off early to test out my little project. The wheels aren't falling off after I strapped the thing on and stood up, that's a good thing. Forward, good, back good, break… still needs some work. Overall, it's a pretty successful attempt. As I bladed towards the hardware store for some more materials, I felt the tingle at the back of my nose and…
I braced myself. "A-Achoo!" I sniffled, but without any warning a warm body pressed up against me from behind and two arms wrapped around my front. I froze in horror of the intimate contact.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I twitched at the familiar voice. I said this once before and I'll say it again. Someone up there really hates me.
"Ranma, remove yourself please." I said as calmly as I could, while still being stiff from the contact.
"I would if I could!" he complained.
"Ranma, let go or you will not have kids in the future." I gritted through my teeth.
"Aiya, Ranma is hugging stupid boy from yesterday… hmm, look like brothers." that accent and grammar is no doubt Shampoo.
"A-achoo!" I sneezed again. Ranma tightened the hug. "Ranma," I said with a warning tone.
"I can't help it! There was something in Shampoo's dumpling!" he complained again.
"And how does that justify you hugging me?" Hmm… dumpling, dumpling… now… oh right, the special mushrooms she used to make them. "Shampoo-san, would you mind removing Ranma for me?"
"Katsu!" I can imagine the look of horror on his face. Since I can't really see him in this angle.
"Gladly," Shampoo giggled.
"A-achoo!" I sneezed again, this time, Ranma practically have his legs around my waist. Crap then that means… "AH!!!!!!!!!!!!" I started rolling backwards and out of control. The hardware store was on a slight hill and my breaks aren't fixed yet. I can't even turn properly with Ranma on my back. We ended up crashing into a mail box, quite painful if you want to know how it feels like.
Someone really hates me…
o.o.o.o.o
CM Aeris: Whew! Finally finished with this chapter… don't really like how I ended this chapter. (shrugs) But not really sure how else should I have ended it.
Koganei: So FRI and we'll see you next chapter!