A/N: Thanks to, like, the three people actually reading this story.
This one's for you.
Chapter Two
Spring 2003 - Part Two
"I thought I heard someone rummaging around the kitchen."
"Oh no, did I wake you?" Tohru turned around with a jolt at the sudden voice that ripped through the silent night air. Her eyes caught Shigure's features through the one kitchen bulb that only seemed to highlight the darkness of the late hour. The dog smiled, the expression sharing the small light with the rice that was being molded between Tohru's small hands.
"Don't worry, I was already up. You had the same idea I did," Shigure said, walking forward with a pleasant smile and gesturing to the already completed rice balls that rested on a wooden plate.
"Help yourself, please!" Tohru insisted, smiling as Shigure plopped one off the plate and into his mouth.
"You're too good to us, Tohru," he said between satisfied bites. "But what, pray tell, called for such a late night meal?"
Tohru's hands stopped their motion for a moment as she eyed the nearly empty pot of rice. Shigure's eyebrow lifted as she twirled her head to give an especially forceful smile.
"I can't seem to get to sleep, so I thought I might as well make breakfast for tomorrow!"
"Those are all for breakfast?"
"I know, I made a lot…" she sighed. "Oh, but take as many as you'd like! I'd hate for them to go to waste!"
"Only if you insist!" Shigure dramatically rubbed his stomach, feigning a life-ending starvation. "But unless you plan to feed us rice balls for the entirety of this week, I think it would be best if you went to bed. The new term just started, best not to be robbed of your energy so early in the year."
Tohru nodded, giving him an almost apologetic look. "I'll clean up and then I'll go to bed, I promise!"
Shigure smiled back patting her head affectionately, "sleep well, Tohru. And thank you for the delicious snack. I think I'll be able to power through the rest of this manuscript thanks to your wonderful sustenance."
She laughed as he waved another dramatic hand, leaving the kitchen with his plate of rice balls. "Goodnight, Shigure!"
He smiled to himself as he walked down the hall, the small sounds of Tohru rustling around fading as he closed the door to his office behind him. The bright lights beamed unapologetically in the otherwise dim and peaceful house. He stretched, sighing at the piles of references, stray news clippings, and photocopies of journals and notes that swirled around the room. Their haphazard placement always more aggressive as he approached his deadlines. He breathed in the musty and confined air of his office before his nose caught a particularly familiar scent sneaking through the small cracks in the paper doors.
With an amused sigh he mumbled under his breath, "my, they're all over tonight," before walking over to the door that led to the open and narrow balcony, careful not to step on anything too important to his work.
When the door slid open under Shigure's hand the yellow light from his office washed against Yuki's back. The smoke from his cigarette transformed from a wisp of nighttime air to a reflection of the restlessness that seemed to plague the entirety of the household that evening.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Yuki. And after Hatori came all this way just to scold you not but two days ago."
Yuki looked up at the man, exhaling the smoke in his lungs before putting the cigarette back to his lips.
"I'm surprised you didn't tell on me," Yuki said with a slight chuckle, his legs spilling over the side of the house as he sat innocently on the floor just outside Shigure's office.
"I'm offended that you think I would do such a thing," the dog sat next to the boy and pulled out his own pack of cigarettes, placing the plate of rice balls between them.
"Causing trouble for others seems to be your strong suit," Yuki took one last deep inhale of his cigarette before he crushed it into the ashtray, eyeing the food that was placed between them.
"After all I do for you, your snark is the thanks I get," he said on a laugh, flicking his lighter open and releasing the tobacco smoke into the air. "Besides, I wonder if this certain little tidbit of information would really change your diagnosis, anyway."
"It wouldn't. So let's continue to keep it a secret," Yuki pulled out another cigarette and placed it between his lips, taking a match from the small book that rested beside him and lighting it. "You made rice balls?" He asked skeptically, flicking his wrist to put out the match's flame.
"Tohru did!" He sang. "Hungry?"
"No," Yuki exhaled a lung full of smoke.
"Suit yourself."
Shigure took a large bite out of the rice ball, making an overly exaggerated satisfied sigh as he chewed the food thoughtfully, eyeing Yuki's determinedly quiet form. The boy responded by eyeing him through annoyed and exhausted features.
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing," Shigure assured. "I suppose I've just been wondering."
The dog smirked when he saw Yuki's shoulders tense defensively.
"About?"
"That little wager of ours," Shigure grinned at the silence that emanated off of Yuki. His precise and careful fingers focused all their energy on his tobacco, and away from his indelicate words. "Any progress made?"
"Some," Yuki stared at the end of his cigarette as he exhaled with a smirk that was unable to keep off his lips. "Do you have nothing better to do than get involved in something like this?"
"I'm a writer, I'm naturally curious."
"I'm sure you'll be the first to know if anything happens," Yuki said. "Whether I like it or not."
"Very well put! I do seem to have this incredible knowledge of the intimate details of our family, unbeknownst even to me!" The rat rolled his eyes at the false innocence that dripped form his tone.
"What a victim you are," he responded drily.
"Oh, you're no fun. Any human would prod for the juicy secrets I hold!"
"We're hardly human though, aren't we?" His laugh was soaked in tobacco as Shigure smiled at the reply. "Besides, I know when to keep out of other people's business. Something I don't think you ever learned."
"I'm incorrigible, aren't I?"
"That's not something to be proud of."
"Fine, fine, I'll keep it all to myself," Shigure let out a languished sigh as he took another healthy bite of his rice ball. "Poor Hatsuharu will suffer alone, his own dear cousin so reluctant to hear anything that could help this poor boy through such a difficult time."
"What? What happened to Haru?" Yuki's eyes growing wide as he crushed his used up cigarette onto the porcelain ashtray.
"I thought you knew when to keep out of other people's business."
"Shigure," Yuki warned. Shigure put up his hands defensively as he laughed.
"See Yuki? You're human after all."
"The first years look so frickin' young now!"
"Maybe you've just gotten old, Arisa."
"That doesn't change the fact that they look like a bunch of runts."
"Oh, I think they're cute!"
The group clustered together in their classroom, standing by the window and observing the new students who congealed in the courtyard three stories below. Kyo leaned back in his desk chair staring idly at the ceiling, while Momiji hovered over Tohru's shoulder, enthusiastically listening to the girls' chatter.
"It's hard to believe we looked just as doe-eyed and clueless two years ago," Uo remarked idly as she leaned her back against the window. "Though it's comforting that carrot top still looks just as clueless."
"You got somethin' to say?" Kyo spat out as his eyes clenched shut, but still not exerting the effort to put all his chair legs back on the ground.
"I like to think Tohru has maintained a certain air of innocence to her," Hana praised, hugging Tohru's arm with a smile. Tohru beamed.
"A real mystery after staying in a house with three huge, unruly men," Uo spat, crossing her arms. "Don't ever change, Tohru!"
"Yes, Tohru, don't you dare fall prey to their brutish waves."
"Hey, hey! You make us sound like a bunch of perverts or something!"
The two girls sent Kyo a pointed glare to which Kyo flinched away from, grunting softly as he continued his idle eye contact with the ceiling.
"I think the person has changed the most though is Momiji!" Tohru said with a bright smile, trying to steer the subject elsewhere. "You're so tall now!"
"Don't forget devilishly handsome," Momiji added with a smile just as bright as he pointed to himself.
"Hey, don't go adding shit like that when it's about yourself!" Kyo snapped.
"Don't be grumpy, Kyo! One day you'll be just as handsome too!"
"Hearing that from you makes me wanna snap you in half," Kyo said, bringing a hand to his eyes and rubbing them as if a headache were fast approaching.
"Spoil sport!"
"Seriously, what's got your panties in such a bunch today, carrot? Someone piss in your breakfast?"
"Do you gotta be so vulgar every time you fuckin' speak?"
"My, my, tensions seem to be high today," Hana commented, beginning to braid one half of Tohru's hair. "Trouble at home?" Kyo opened one eye to peak at the psychic, feeling other eyes boring into him. Especially one particularly potent pair of kind, brown eyes. He sighed, and sat his chair up straight, resting his elbow on the desk.
"Of course not, I'm just not in the mood to deal with everyone's shit today," Kyo said simply.
"Then stop being such an easy target," Uo commented with a smirk.
"I'll show you who's an easy target, Yankee!" Kyo said, pounding his fist on the desk.
"Oh Yuki!" Momiji called out, earning the attention of the whole group. "Yuki! Come hang out with us!"
Yuki looked up from the conversation he was having with a student at the door of the classroom, giving a small nod of acknowledgement. He bid the student a brief farewell before walking up to the group of friends.
"Good morning," Yuki greeted easily.
"Yuki, who was that?"
"My replacement," he responded.
"For student council president?" Tohru asked. Yuki nodded to her before turning his attention back to the rest of the group.
"I couldn't be president forever," he smiled, resting a gentle hand on Kyo's desk. The cat felt his insides clench, and his blood begin to pump feverishly at such a minor and insignificant gesture. His dark and narrowed eyes shot up to Yuki's who were so vehemently ignoring him.
"Much to the dismay of your ever growing female fanbase," Hana said. Yuki gave a rather exhausted laugh.
"Now that you're finishing up student council, you'll have more free time, won't you?" Tohru asked with a bright smile.
"Oh, we can hang out more on holidays now!" Momiji added.
"Perhaps," Yuki said, finally gracing Kyo with a stare. For a brief moment the passive look that rested in Yuki's eyes dissipated and those same darkened eyes from the roof looked right back at Kyo. He could feel his throat go dry as he looked away to stare at anything but Yuki.
"If you'll excuse me, though. I have a few more things to take care of before the day really starts." With that Yuki gave a small wave and headed back out the door. Tohru gave a soft sigh to herself before resuming her conversation with Momiji.
Kyo's eyes lingered on the door, however. His face upturning into an unpleasant expression as the world continued around him. His trance broke when Hana placed a hand on his desk in the same way Yuki did. He looked up at her, Tohru's fully braided head catching the corner of his eye.
"Tensions are high, indeed."
Kyo didn't respond to that.
Yuki rounded the corner that bustled with activity around him. Soft "good mornings" echoed back and forth off classmates and underclassmen. It was a refreshing vibe that was complimented by the spring sunlight that tumbled through the wide windows—the energizing feeling of a new school year. Yuki walked up to the window, softly placing his hand on the glass as he saw a familiar head of white and black hair.
"President!"
Yuki felt himself jolt slightly at the sudden voice. He turned his head, an already exhausted expression donning his face. Kakeru bounded up beside him, giving him a smack on the back.
"You know, you won't be able to call me that for much longer."
"That's alright, I can always call you Yun-Yun!"
"You absolutely cannot," Yuki retaliated pinching the cheek of the bubbly black haired boy until he cried out in pain.
"Ow ow ow, give! Give!" Yuki released his grip with an amused sigh. "Please, I'm still in mourning of our brutal and unjust end in the school defense force! To think! Another man being crowned Mr. Black," Kakeru gave an anguished groan. "I can't bear it!"
"Maybe the title will be passed onto someone it actually suits," he teased.
"How cruel! How un-cute!" Kakeru said, taking Yuki in a headlock and mushing his hand into Yuki's hair.
"Hey! Get off! Kakeru, get off me!"
"Alright, alright, princess," Kakeru released him, bending his arms behind his head as he sighed. "So sensitive," Yuki rolled his eyes and straightened his hair as best he could.
"I'm just not in the mood today," Yuki sighed. He snuck another glance out the window with a sigh.
"Hm? Don't tell me under that icy exterior you're actually just as disappointed to be giving up your title," Kakeru said.
"No, it's nothing like that. I promise."
Kakeru shrugged, "wouldn't be crazy if that was the case, after all the work you put into it."
Yuki looked at his friend, caught off guard by the sudden sincere words. He smiled, which Kakeru returned in full. "I suppose I'll miss it a bit," he said.
"Will you miss me?"
"I don't think you're someone who leaves long enough to be missed," Yuki said. "Unfortunately."
"Hey, hey! And here I was about to give you this really heartfelt speech about our deep, and unwavering manly bond that we've developed!"
"What a shame, I'm sure that would've been completely appropriate," Yuki said with a laugh, still feeling restless as he looked out the window once more. "Listen, I'll catch up with you later."
"Off to do your presidential duties while you still got 'em?" He gave a wave as Yuki started down the hall.
"Something like that," Yuki waved a hand back dismissively. "You should too, Mr. Black."
Yuki heard Kakeru's snicker fade out of his ear as he gave a soft smile. Swiftly he traveled down the steps of the school, doing his best to avoid colliding with any students—even in his partially dazed and distracted state.
The ground below him faded from concrete to soft pads of grassy hills that many students had come to love during the warmer seasons. The gentle smell of spring gracing Haru's deep and distant gaze into nothing. Yuki brushed a stray cherry blossom petal off his shoulder (the last of the season, he was sure) and sat down next to his cousin. Haru didn't even spare him a glance.
Yuki joined his directionless stare that seemed so focused.
"I heard about Rin."
The ox's face didn't move, didn't react. But Yuki could feel how the air around him turned tense and chilled.
"Good morning to you, too."
Yuki gave him a concerned look, yet Haru's gaze still didn't budge.
"I know it's none of my business…"
"You're right. It's not," Haru said easily, with no bite of malice or irritability in his tone. "But I like it when you get in my business."
Yuki gave a soft laugh and rolled his eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He shrugged. "I'm sure there would be more to talk about if anyone would let me see her," Haru finally spared Yuki a soft gaze, apathetic only in appearance. "No one will tell me where she is."
"What? Why?"
He shrugged again, "at first I thought Akito had said something, but not even Kagura's mom would tell me. So it must have been Rin."
Yuki felt a crick in his neck at the mention of Akito's name, but shrugged it off. "Maybe she just needs some time to think things over."
"I wouldn't mind that if she were healthy," Haru said easily, stretching himself out as he laid himself down on the grass, staring up at the blue sky. "But if she's in the hospital I would rather be able to at least check on her." He turned his head to Yuki, who stared down at him in return. "She hates hospitals, you know."
"Shigure mentioned something like that."
"Aha, so that's how you found out," Haru said, turning his face so that he was staring up again. "Sensei strikes again."
"He's pretty loose with information, I wouldn't tell him these types of things anymore," Yuki said with another roll of his eyes. Haru smiled.
"I don't have secrets, Yuki," his hand reached up with blank eyes to squish Yuki's cheeks. "Especially not from you, dear." Yuki swatted the hand away with an annoyed glare. Haru gave a small chuckle as he folded his arms behind his head as a pillow.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Yuki said, rubbing his cheek with a slightly impatient tone.
"Thanks, Yuki," he closed his eyes. "I'm sure I'll be fine."
The rest of the day passed with an idleness that is only known on good-weathered days. The slow crawl of the fading daylight folded itself restlessly into Kyo's chest until evening once again caked the night air that promised to soon be filled with humidity and a sticky Tokyo heat. He sat in the kitchen, reading over texts for class, listening as Shigure sipped his tea and flipped his newspaper next to him. He waited for Yuki's arms that folded expectantly, and his soft gray eyes that hardened condescendingly.
When every last bit of sunshine had been dashed from the sky, the rat appeared from his room as habit promised.
"Are you going to help me pick up Tohru or not?"
Somehow along the way, this had become routine.
The two walked side by side down the streets of Tokyo on the way to Tohru's work. The past couple of years it had just been Yuki who would trek the forty minutes it took to escort the cheerful girl back home, but somehow—somehow—Kyo had been roped into it the past couple of months.
He wasn't even quite sure how that happened, if he thought about it. Yuki had a way of twisting his words all the way around until they were manipulated and contorted for a purpose that he couldn't even fully understand. It irritated him. He hated it.
But he went along with it.
Some nights they would bicker back and forth, their words bouncing off one another like ping pong. The smile that would slide on Yuki's lips would give away how much he enjoyed riling Kyo up in public, relished in his humiliation as passer-bys turned their heads and whispered to each other. Like Kyo was some sort of game.
But as infuriating as that could be, there were nights where he wasn't too sure what to do with himself. Didn't know how to act or speak without Yuki's instigating words holding him up for support.
Silence.
And what was worse an almost… comfortable silence. One that didn't demand it be broken, but still monitored Kyo's breath, still seared his blood slightly, still caught in his chest. Still kept him on guard.
Tonight was one of those nights.
Kyo looked to his side, and watched Yuki's graceful strides—that transparent wall still resting between them, so thick and impenetrable that Kyo felt as though he could lean on it and still not have his shoulder collide with Yuki's.
He didn't like this, this growing comfort. One that was previously as simple as being capable of sitting in the same room together without throwing fists, and now was something that seemed so complicated and understood. He shook his head, and vowed to break the silence.
"I ain't gonna walk with you when typhoon season comes in," he said suddenly, earning a stare from Yuki. "So don't get used to this."
He laughed slightly in response, "even I know when not to bother you."
"Oh really? Could've fooled me," his tone more snappish than he intended, but Yuki seemed unfazed.
"Don't worry when the rain starts, you'll see less of me," Yuki said. "Much to your relief."
"Whatever," Kyo mumbled, continuing his walk down the path. Kyo smirked, chuckling to himself as he quirked a mischievous eyebrow at Yuki who gave him a puzzled look in response. "Dunno if you should even be exerting yourself like this anyway, rat."
"What?" Yuki asked, annoyance flaring in his voice, which Kyo relished. He shrugged and gave him another smirk.
"What with Hatori comin' all the way down to quarantine you. Bet he's worried about that fragile girly body of yours collapsing again. Maybe you should start sitting these long walks out."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Yuki snapped back. "And that only happened once." Kyo gave a short laugh which Yuki retaliated with a glare.
"Alright, then. So what did Hatori want?"
Yuki looked at him, a shocked expression claiming his face before it quickly dissipated into something more neutral.
"He says my condition is getting worse," a surprisingly honest answer.
"Huh?" Kyo asked, genuinely taken aback by the answer. He looked Yuki up and down, as if diagnosing him. He… well, he looked the same. To his knowledge he hadn't been missing school, or acting differently. He quirked an eyebrow. "How is that possible? And how would he know, it's not like you've had an attack or anything," Kyo said.
"Apparently I'm irritating it," Yuki said with a laugh. "And I suppose it's his job to know."
"Irritating it?" Kyo asked raising his eyebrow as they approached the building where Tohru worked. Yuki rested against the railing that lay opposite to the entrance and gave a small nod.
"What? Now all of the sudden you're worried about me?"
"You wish, asshole! I'm not worried!"
"I wish, huh?" Yuki asked, giving him a smile that caused Kyo to coil back. He focused on the road before his feet, his face flushing slightly as he rubbed at his eyes fiercely. Another headache, he was sure.
Yuki crossed his arms and gave Kyo a curious look, one that searched him for something Kyo wasn't sure of. He looked away from Yuki's scrutinizing eyes and crossed his arms too.
"Kyo, can I ask you a question?"
Kyo tilted his head, giving Yuki a confused look through his narrowed eyes, "whatever, I guess."
"Do you sometimes have thoughts that aren't your own?"
"Huh?"
Yuki shifted against the railing, his eyes staring straight into Kyo's as people passed by them idly.
"You heard me. …Do you?"
"I don't know," Kyo snapped.
Yuki gave a dry chuckle at that, his arms uncrossing to rest against the railing, his head turning away from Kyo as that amused smirk crossed his lips. He mumbled under his breath, "idiot."
"What did you call me, fucker?"
"Idiot. I called you an idiot."
"Why you-!"
"You don't even know which thoughts are your own," Yuki said. His eyes turning suddenly serious from their previously bemused gentility.
"I know which thoughts are mine! Fuck you, why does it even matter?"
Yuki let Kyo's anger simmer for a moment, the soft spring breeze that was chilled by the night air sopped into his skin like a wet cloth. He refused to shiver.
"So then it does happen," Yuki said. Kyo jolted slightly, letting the statement wash over him unpleasantly as if it were a splash of cold water in January.
"…Yeah. It does happen," a surprisingly honest answer. "Sometimes. Why the hell do you care?"
Yuki turned to him with a small smile free of condescension, humor purely and freely lifting the corners of his mouth. "No need to get so defensive. I wouldn't have asked if it didn't happen to me, too."
Silence fell again, only this time it felt uncomfortable. Yuki looked to Kyo. His eyes dark and directed away. His hands balled into fists. His cheeks tinted with a small flush that mirrored the fury that constantly crashed against every part of his body. It was as if Kyo was a kettle on a stove, and Yuki's hand was tightly clenched over the spout—burning, muffling, feeling pains in his skin as it pleaded to melt against Kyo's boiling thoughts.
It was suffocating.
"It's normal," Yuki tried in an attempt to clear the suddenly stifling air. Kyo lifted his head and stared him right in the eye and Yuki could feel himself falter slightly. "Not normal by normalcy's standards. But normal for us. Shigure said it's something that's gone back for generations," Yuki offered. "I know that man's an idiot but he's done his resear—"
"Normal," he snarled. Yuki paused, looking up at the cat with dark, sincere eyes. "Don't talk about this shit like it's normal! Don't talk like you know what goes on in my head!" Kyo grabbed his collar, pulling him forward forcefully with anger etching its way into his expression. "Don't act like we're so similar, rat!"
Yuki clutched Kyo's wrists roughly, staring him right in the eye with a sharp glare. "We're not so different, cat," Yuki spat. "The only real difference is that I'm not so afraid of what goes on in my head."
"You're calling me afraid?" Kyo said, gripping Yuki's collar harder before thrashing his wrists out of Yuki's grip. "When you're the one who can't even talk to Tohru about whatever shitty problems you two have?"
"What?!" Yuki asked, taking a step back subconsciously. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about you taking some petty shit out on Tohru! Whatever crap you've got going on figure it out. Because all you're doing is making her worry!"
Yuki could feel part of his body stop as he stared at Kyo. He felt halted. Frozen in place. He took a moment to think back on the brief interactions he had had with Tohru over the past couple of days. He was… passive, sure. Maybe a bit unresponsive. And, well, perhaps a bit cold. He hadn't even noticed. So how did…
"How did you…?" Yuki trailed off, feeling his hands ball into fists.
"You're not that fuckin' hard to read," he shot back.
"You're the last person I would ever want to hear that from, idiot."
"You know I'm getting really sick of your shit!" Kyo shouted back, coming forth to shove Yuki back, who caught himself easily. Yuki retaliated by bringing his fist up, ready for a fight as he felt himself lunge forth.
"Kyo! Yuki!"
The two turn their heads to see Tohru clutching her bag tightly as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. "You two shouldn't fight here! There… There are still people on the street!" The girl offered worriedly and Yuki peered at Kyo when he felt the grip on his shirt loosen.
"Whatever," Kyo said, roughly shoving Yuki away who caught himself easily. Yuki sighed, looking at Kyo's back as he began to storm away. "Walk yourselves home."
"Wait, Kyo-!"
"Let him be, Ms. Honda," Yuki said. "I'm sorry, we got a little carried away," Tohru nodded, watching Kyo's retreating form uneasily. Yuki placed a soft hand on her shoulder at her expression. "He'll be fine. He just needs to cool down that head of his."
Tohru looked up at Yuki with a small understanding smile before nodding and beginning to walk down the path, as well. He walked alongside her, taking slow deliberate steps by her side as they began their walk in silence.
Kyo's words circled his head, needles of guilt stabbing him with each step he took in Tohru's presence. He hated how perceptive that stupid cat could be, especially when it came to Tohru. It made him ache and made his body restless and irritable.
He looked to his side and took a glimpse of the girl's face. Her eyes tired, her mouth shaped into a frown that would always accompany her worried thoughts. Her shoulders were tense and rigid.
What he hated most of all was that Kyo was right.
"Ms. Honda," Yuki started. He faltered when she turned to him, her gentle brown eyes drenched in anxiety and guilt. She smiled at him, but the reluctance in her joints to face him completely made something drop in his stomach. He sighed, letting go of her shoulder and running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry if I've worried you."
She relaxed slightly, and Yuki could feel himself do the same "I promise I'll be more careful."
"You're not… You're not mad?" She asked, gripping her bag a bit. Yuki gave her a guilty smile. "About Hatori?"
"No, I… Well, I suppose it's impossible to be angry with Ms. Honda," Yuki said reassuringly. "Even if I was acting childish."
"No, no! I think you have every right to be upset with me," Tohru said, her dejected tone so magnified and pure that Yuki couldn't help but smile as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
"How do I put this… Whatever… anger I have—had—is something that came from a fruitless place. Like showing up late to your station and being angry at the train for leaving without you," Yuki said with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Ms. Honda. I hope I didn't upset you too much."
"Please don't apologize! I'm just happy you're not mad at me," she smiled. "Although…"
"Although?"
Tohru fiddled with the straps of her bag, concentrating on how her thumbs would twiddle the worn fabric. Her courage collected, she looked up at Yuki with serious and unwavering eyes. "I want to know what's going on. I know I shouldn't pry, but it seems like something's wrong! Will you…" she took a step towards him and Yuki leaned back, surprised by her sudden directness. "Will you talk about it with me?"
He looked back at her and his heart melted at her concern, her gentility, her sincere distress. He stopped his eyes from turning cold. He would at least return the favor of being direct.
"I can't," he said simply. "Maybe… one day I'll be able to. I hope I will. But right now…" He looked to his side, focusing on a familiar misshapen tree branch that they passed by each morning and afternoon. "Thank you for worrying about me. Like I said, I promise I'll be more careful."
"Right," Tohru said, deflating slightly.
"Ms. Honda," her eyes came back to his, as he placed an affectionate hand in the hair above her ear. "When I'm ready, will you listen to me then?"
"Of course!" She nodded vigorously and Yuki felt a laugh bubble out of him.
"That's all I'll ask," he smiled. She smiled back.
The remainder of the walk home contained its pleasant and relaxed air, but the weight in Yuki's chest didn't seem to fade for the rest of the night.
"Gone to the main house for the night. Tohru left some stew in the fridge. Please do not burn down the house, break doors, break tables, or otherwise inflict harm upon my house. See you kids in the morning.
-Shigure"
Yuki set down the note on the kitchen counter, looking at the stove with an unwarranted confidence. Shigure loved his dramatics, at the very least he could heat up a pot of stew. He'd learned that much from helping Tohru in the kitchen.
It had been a week since he and Tohru had talked, and the air between them had cooled immensely. Though Yuki still caught himself being reserved and detached as the awkward air fizzled out between them, the comfort they shared in one another proved too strong to be truly affected. Yuki reprimanded himself for feeling so resentful at all, but brushed it off without dwelling on it too much. He had other things on his mind.
He opened the fridge and stared at the pot warily. He shut the fridge again.
"Maybe Kyo can be good for something," Yuki mumbled under his breath.
Kyo. He had barely said a word to him since he had stormed off a week ago. Their careless conversations and heated encounters seeming to have faded away completely which built a frustration in Yuki's chest. He would burrow himself in his room or at the dojo, making sure Yuki couldn't catch him on his own. It built an aggravation in the rat. A restlessness. And he had to wonder if Kyo was doing it on purpose.
The thought was accompanied by feet padding on hardwood, and a grunt from Kyo as he invariably sat down at the kitchen table. Probably reading. He had taken to doing his homework in the dining room (usually when Shigure or Tohru were around), opening the doors up wide so as to let in the refreshing spring breeze. It was the beginning of May, and the last of the cherry blossoms were beginning to be replaced with the thick green leaves that seemed to capture summer's heat each year. Yuki would be sad to see the season go.
He lifted the slight piece of fabric that curtained the door and stood below the frame. His footsteps and breathing near silent as he took in a welcome and familiar sight.
Kyo's back faced him, hunched over the table as he flipped through his text book, idly making notes on his neighboring notebook. A gust of a spring breeze fell through the open doors and Yuki watched as Kyo lifted his head to greet the sensation. Yuki could only see the back of his head, but had he been facing him he knew Kyo's eyes would close, and his nose would twitch slightly as a greeting to the fleetingly good weather.
Yuki greeted the breeze as well, but he made sure not to close his eyes. He shifted and a floorboard creaked under his feet, causing Kyo to turn around.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Enjoying the weather," Yuki said simply. "And making a bet with myself to see how long it will take your head to boil from the over exertion."
Yuki walked to the other side of the table and sat across from Kyo who shot him a glare.
"Whatever, if you're gonna be here just shut up. I'm working," Kyo snapped back.
"What? No quick defense for your stunted capacity for intelligent thought?"
"Listen, you damn rat, don't make me kick your ass!"
"And don't make me listen to that track on that broken record again," Yuki shot back. Kyo pounded his fist on the table as he stared Yuki straight in the eye.
"Dammit, why are you always trying to start shit with me?!"
A drop of silence fell as Yuki's taken aback expression focused in on Kyo. The lack of response and the uninterrupted gaze bringing out another aggravated cry from Kyo's throat.
"What?! What's that look for?"
"You… You are asking me that?"
"Yeah! I'm asking you. Why are you constantly trying to fuck with me?!"
"I can't believe what I'm hearing. This from a person who broke a hole in the roof to challenge me."
"Look around, asshole. See any broken roofs lately? Any surprise attacks? Any attempt to fuckin' talk to you at all?!" Yuki's eyes narrowed at that. "No! You got me, minding my own damn business, and you. Starting shit."
Yuki crossed his arms, a dangerous look crossing his face as his posture straightened.
"You know, I originally wanted to thank you."
"What?!" Kyo asked, still charged with exacerbation. "What the hell are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"
"I wanted to thank you for talking to me about Tohru," Yuki said. "You were right. I was avoiding her and that was a mistake."
"Good for fuckin' you," Kyo snapped sarcastically.
"But what a hypocrite you are. Lecturing me about avoiding Tohru, when you've been the one avoiding me."
Yuki watched as a flash of alarm shone on Kyo's face, quickly masked by glowering and fiery red eyes. Kyo snapped his book shut.
"I don't know what you're—"
"The only question I have is why," Yuki said, standing up and walking over to where Kyo was sitting. "Why on earth would the cat ever avoid confrontation with the rat?" Yuki grabbed Kyo's t-shirt by the collar and pulled him up so that he was on his feet. Yuki could see in him a sinking dread, confusion, panic, and something else that darkened Kyo's eyes bore right into him. Yuki pushed him back roughly.
"Maybe I start shit, Kyo. But you seem to have lost your ability to end it," Yuki hissed.
Kyo charged at him.
Yuki deflected his punch, grabbing his wrist and twisting Kyo's arm around so that it was pinned awkwardly behind his back. Kyo threw his head back for a head-butt, and in Yuki's dodge wiggled himself free before sending a straight and practiced kick to Yuki's chest. Yuki grabbed his foot before it could strike him, twisting his leg so that Kyo fell onto the kitchen table, partially cracking it down the middle. Kyo let out a loud cry as he pushed himself up, taking another blinding swing at Yuki who ducked and swept his leg so that Kyo would fall backwards, sealing the fate of the table that acted as his cushion. Kyo let out a groan of pain, but brought his head up to glare viciously at Yuki.
Yuki brought his fists up, waiting for Kyo to return to his feet as he resumed his ruthless gaze. Kyo jumped up and swung at him again, but this time Yuki grabbed his arm and spun Kyo around so that his back was pinned to the wall, his arms trapped under Yuki's hands beside him.
Kyo breathed deeply. Inhaling his fury and exhaling whatever pain that shot through his body from each blow. Yuki looked back into his bright red eyes. The fire that burned inside that piercing gaze that engulfed Yuki. That invaded him when he slept, when he ate, when the world moved around him like syrup.
That spark that at first he only allowed to light when Kyo was near. When he would shoot those passionate and enraged words his way. When Yuki, for those moments only, was the sole focus, the sole purpose, of Kyo's world.
But now, he thought as his hands tightened their grip on Kyo's wrists and as his eyes narrowed, he craved it. Nothing was enough. This calming air sickened Yuki and coiled his throat, halting his ability to breath.
He would grab on to what he could. He had long since admitted as much to himself.
Yuki leaned in closer, shattering that brick wall that had put the boundaries between them. That had hindered him so many times before. His mouth so close to Kyo's that he could feel the cat's now panicking and unsure breath on Yuki's desperate and sure lips.
"I think I know why you've been avoiding me, Kyo," Yuki whispered and he could feel him shiver under his grip.
He clenched his eyes shut, pressing his lips firmly against Kyo's shell shocked mouth, feeling his shaky breath wash over his face. His lips worked against Kyo's, but the lack of response caused fear to wash inside of him, right alongside an unbridled excitement that Yuki could barely contain.
He pushed himself back, but couldn't bring himself far enough to look Kyo in the eye. Instead, his lips traveled to Kyo's ear, making sure he felt his heavy breath wash against him. His voice was a snarl half bitten by a bitter exasperation, half coated in an uncontrolled desire.
"I will not be ignored by you."
He felt Kyo shiver and breathe a soft sigh of relief against his ear. He released the other man's wrists, which had done little to ensure escape or instigate struggle in anyway, and he took a step back.
Kyo stared at him, face flushed and eyes frantic and unshielded. He looked at Yuki, trying his best to form his eyes into a glare unsuccessfully. He brought a hand up to his hair to scratch at it roughly and looked away from Yuki.
"What the fuck," Kyo mumbled breathily. "What the fuck, what the fuck," he repeated again and again as he pounded his fist against the wall. Yuki swallowed a bit of anxiety but stood firm in front of Kyo.
"Was I wrong?" Yuki asked, careful not to keep his voice in check. Careful not to leak even the slightest hint of uncertainty. Kyo whipped his gaze to Yuki but said nothing in response.
Another wordless moment passed between them. Yuki looked Kyo up and down, his stance frozen and unsure, his legs bent and as firm as weeds that twisted under the slightest breeze. The gray haired boy took a step back, watching how carefully Kyo's eyes followed him.
"Alright," Yuki said softly, as he began to walk towards the hallway. He could feel an insatiable craving for nicotine burning through his lungs with each step he took, his eyes closing tightly as he walked away.
"Wait," Kyo called after him, the word coming through clenched teeth. He stood still, not able to move from his position. Yuki turned around immediately to face Kyo. "Fuck, you're such an assho—"
Yuki charged towards him, pressing his mouth against Kyo once more, swallowing his words. This time, Kyo kissed back instantly. He dug his long fingernails into Yuki's back, enough to making the rat wince. His own hands going to Kyo's neck and up into his hair as he opened his mouth to push his tongue past Kyo's lips. Kyo scratched up Yuki's back over his shirt, and Yuki responded by tugging his hair roughly. Kyo broke the kiss to cry out at the sudden sting, but delved right back into it, biting Yuki's bottom lip enough to make it bleed.
Yuki took his hands from Kyo's hair to his arms, pulling him towards him only to slam his back against the wall. They broke from the kiss, faces soaked in a red tint, and the faintest bit of blood trailing from Yuki's lip.
Kyo banged his head against the wall, looking up at the ceiling, as Yuki's warmth threatened to overwhelm him once more. He could feel soft lips on his neck, accompanied by another gust of spring air that did little to cool his humming body.
Kyo clenched his eyes shut as he wrapped his arms around Yuki once more mumbling a sharp, "fuck."
There wasn't much else to say after that.