Notes: Yay!! I'm still poking at the plot! And 'tis fun!!
Warnings: Future Sano/Saitou, angst, weirdness, AU
Hell of a Long Way Home
By: Emmy
Part Three
-----------------
I lay on my back, in Hajime's chambers, looking up at the broken ceiling. This was hard; really, really hard to accept. Was I some kind of fucking messiah? They hadn't really treated me that way, but then, they wouldn't have anyway. It was just the way that I saw it. I frowned and rolled over to my side. Nothing was making sense anymore...
"Hajime?" I asked, quietly.
"Hm?" he answered, looking over some reports.
"So I will have to get a new room soon?"
"As soon as you're better."
To be honest, I really didn't want to leave. He was the only familiar person here, and I felt comfortable with him. My insides were torn up, and I already had had some stuff wrong with me before then. It would probably take a while for me to get better; so I was going to be here for a while anyway.... I shouldn't worry about this now.
"How long has The Underground existed?" I asked in a low, melancholic voice. I was trying to start up some kind of conversation, just to hear Hajime speak... just to know that he was there and that I wasn't alone.
He sighed, and I turned over to watch him as he spoke.
If I could see him, then I knew that I was truly here with him, and that his voice wasn't a figment of my imagination... because, for some reason, lately, I needed to see things that were tangible to be all right...
I didn't want to be alone.
"It was a while ago, actually..." he paused and put some more thought into his monologue.
"It had to be about seventeen years ago when it started... but sometimes it doesn't feel that long. Battousai, Kodachi and I began this project when we were guards of the people under our leader, Ohkubou. When he died, the masses who were still unaffected by the Trilogy fell to pieces and we had to think of something to do fast. You know the desert outside is slowly eating away at The City... seventeen years ago, the three of us remembered this underground cavern to be a place of refuge for travelers. But people had to stop using it as the desert swallowed it whole."
I remained frozen to my spot as I watched him think, trying to find the correct phrase, like everything he was saying to me was unlocking a deep, dark secret... but in a way it was.
He tapped his pencil on the table as he continued, a frown deeply engraved into his expression.
"In our state of chaos, Battousai scanned his memory bank for an area where the people could seek refuge. That was when we remembered this place. It was known as Guarna, and we were lucky to find it. Battousai's records weren't even sure if it had truly existed, or if the weight of the mud and earth had crushed it. We took off, telling the people that we, Ohkubou's last remaining guards, would look for a place to stay. We walked for more than a week in the blinding desert, and finally came to the area where the cavern was located..."
They had traveled into the desert and made it back... they were the ones who found this place...?
There had to be something more to these guys than what they had told me...
"The only reason that we knew where it was was because of the sounds of crashing water over the desert winds. We dug a hole down into the area which is only accessible by that shack that we visited yesterday. That's the only way in... and out, if you can get past the river and other traps that you slept through."
I interrupted as there was a lull in his story.
"Where does that river lead?"
He looked almost startled to my question. He even hesitated.
"Well?" I persisted.
Another hesitation.
"If you go upstream it will circle around the city."
Wouldn't that mean that you could access The Underground through other means? But who would look to go down a river like that... maybe that's how convicts got here... how would they have gotten all those people through the desert otherwise, and past the river... they could have carried everyone over like Hajime had me... but that would have been impossible...
How had they gotten people into this city...?
What was downstream if they missed the drop off point?
"What about downstream?"
"The edge of heaven."
"Excuse me?!" I demanded.
He took in another deep breath, no doubt this one was going do be a long story as well.
"You know that when the Trilogy took over, the universe became a completely chaotic place. The galaxy melded and turned this into the center of the world. Indeed, heaven and hell are supposed to be... theoretical places, but we found out through Ohkubou, that heaven and hell indeed existed. They were directly linked to the edge of this world. What people don't know is, the thing that keeps the winds in the desert blowing is the fact that there is nothing beyond those winds. The winds are being pushed along by a great nothingness influenced by hell. Once the city is eaten up by those winds completely, within a decade the nothingness will take over and we will cease to exist. Everything will be eaten by that great nothingness.
"If you continue down this river, you will pass through nothing, which is the edge of heaven."
My heart nearly stopped.
I had been in that river going downstream...
I suddenly felt fucking scared to death, reliving that memory...
I was completely in the dark...
How many people were killed that way...?
How many people were going to die that way...?
"And that's why we are going to have to move this peaceful city soon if we want to save the people from disappearing..." He trailed off.
This was too fucking much...
"You have to be fucking kidding me..."
"Sanosuke. You asked, remember that much."
I stood up and walked over to him slowly, clenching the blanket around me even tighter.
"Is there anyway to stop that...?!" I demanded.
He nodded, "Why do you think we're trying so desperately to get rid of the Trilogy?"
"So that's why..." I trailed off, my knees buckling. I didn't fall to the ground, even so. Warm arms caught me.
I looked up to the ceiling, a faint wetness glazing my eyes over.
"Hajime... we..."
"You may be that chance we're looking for." He stated carefully.
That key... my body that had produced the key...
"Shit... I'm scared." I admitted all at once, latching onto Hajime's chest as he sat back down, me seated on his lap. He remained impassive as he let me sob, staining his shirt with my tears. I looked at his shirt and froze as I noticed the blood there.
I pulled back abruptly, gripping my hands to my face to see what was bleeding now. My vision was clouded by red.
My fingers dipped into that trail of tears, and as I pulled my fingers away, across the tips was a red tinged substance.
My tears were blood...?
"Hajime..." I spoke carefully, hoping desperately that he would tell me what was going on now.
He looked at me carefully, or at least I think he did, my heart ached and more of that red poured from my eyes as I tried to choke back more sobs.
His hand stroked along my cheek carefully, brushing the trailing blood away. I was bleeding all over him... but he didn't seem to care.
"What the fuck is wrong with me...!?!" I shouted, wanting an answer, any answer... when did all this start, when would it end!? Why was this all happening to me at once!? I couldn't take this!! I just couldn't...!!
"Nothing is wrong with you. You are the chosen one." His voice coaxed; I was squeezing my eyes shut tightly, wanting that smell... the smell that had lingered on the corpses of my parents, to leave... damnit... leave!!!
"What are you talking about!?! Everything is wrong! My body is in shambles, I threw up some kind of mechanical bug that grew inside me and now I'm crying blood! How the fuck could there not be anything wrong!?!" I demanded, not bothering to choke back my cries anymore.
I openly wept and buried my face in his shirt once again.
"This is hard for you, I know. But you're still alive and you're the one person who will be able to lead the people of this city to freedom and live. Without you, they will all die when the Trilogy brutally murders them, like your family, or when the desert swallows them whole." He admonished harshly.
I shook my head, "How the hell can you just tell me that!? How the hell am I supposed to believe that!? What the fuck am I supposed to do!?" I spat back, rivaling his harsh tone rather well.
Hajime shuffled around on his desk and grabbed something.
The next thing I felt was a cool cloth on my face, wiping away the blood.
"Get yourself together. It's all right to cry, but I'm only going to be here for you this once. This is the only time that I'm going to allow you to cry over this situation. This is your last chance to feel sorry for yourself, do you understand?" He asked, gently patting the tears away from the bottom of my swollen eyelids.
I frowned. I guess that made sense. But how could he just say that?! He had no idea how this hurt me...
But if this was my only chance, I was going to make good on it.
I spent the rest of the night crying on his shoulder and thanking god for his arms embracing me...
If he hadn't been there then there would have been nothing keeping me from jumping in that river and drowning myself to the edge of heaven.
---------
End of part three
Warnings: Future Sano/Saitou, angst, weirdness, AU
Hell of a Long Way Home
By: Emmy
Part Three
-----------------
I lay on my back, in Hajime's chambers, looking up at the broken ceiling. This was hard; really, really hard to accept. Was I some kind of fucking messiah? They hadn't really treated me that way, but then, they wouldn't have anyway. It was just the way that I saw it. I frowned and rolled over to my side. Nothing was making sense anymore...
"Hajime?" I asked, quietly.
"Hm?" he answered, looking over some reports.
"So I will have to get a new room soon?"
"As soon as you're better."
To be honest, I really didn't want to leave. He was the only familiar person here, and I felt comfortable with him. My insides were torn up, and I already had had some stuff wrong with me before then. It would probably take a while for me to get better; so I was going to be here for a while anyway.... I shouldn't worry about this now.
"How long has The Underground existed?" I asked in a low, melancholic voice. I was trying to start up some kind of conversation, just to hear Hajime speak... just to know that he was there and that I wasn't alone.
He sighed, and I turned over to watch him as he spoke.
If I could see him, then I knew that I was truly here with him, and that his voice wasn't a figment of my imagination... because, for some reason, lately, I needed to see things that were tangible to be all right...
I didn't want to be alone.
"It was a while ago, actually..." he paused and put some more thought into his monologue.
"It had to be about seventeen years ago when it started... but sometimes it doesn't feel that long. Battousai, Kodachi and I began this project when we were guards of the people under our leader, Ohkubou. When he died, the masses who were still unaffected by the Trilogy fell to pieces and we had to think of something to do fast. You know the desert outside is slowly eating away at The City... seventeen years ago, the three of us remembered this underground cavern to be a place of refuge for travelers. But people had to stop using it as the desert swallowed it whole."
I remained frozen to my spot as I watched him think, trying to find the correct phrase, like everything he was saying to me was unlocking a deep, dark secret... but in a way it was.
He tapped his pencil on the table as he continued, a frown deeply engraved into his expression.
"In our state of chaos, Battousai scanned his memory bank for an area where the people could seek refuge. That was when we remembered this place. It was known as Guarna, and we were lucky to find it. Battousai's records weren't even sure if it had truly existed, or if the weight of the mud and earth had crushed it. We took off, telling the people that we, Ohkubou's last remaining guards, would look for a place to stay. We walked for more than a week in the blinding desert, and finally came to the area where the cavern was located..."
They had traveled into the desert and made it back... they were the ones who found this place...?
There had to be something more to these guys than what they had told me...
"The only reason that we knew where it was was because of the sounds of crashing water over the desert winds. We dug a hole down into the area which is only accessible by that shack that we visited yesterday. That's the only way in... and out, if you can get past the river and other traps that you slept through."
I interrupted as there was a lull in his story.
"Where does that river lead?"
He looked almost startled to my question. He even hesitated.
"Well?" I persisted.
Another hesitation.
"If you go upstream it will circle around the city."
Wouldn't that mean that you could access The Underground through other means? But who would look to go down a river like that... maybe that's how convicts got here... how would they have gotten all those people through the desert otherwise, and past the river... they could have carried everyone over like Hajime had me... but that would have been impossible...
How had they gotten people into this city...?
What was downstream if they missed the drop off point?
"What about downstream?"
"The edge of heaven."
"Excuse me?!" I demanded.
He took in another deep breath, no doubt this one was going do be a long story as well.
"You know that when the Trilogy took over, the universe became a completely chaotic place. The galaxy melded and turned this into the center of the world. Indeed, heaven and hell are supposed to be... theoretical places, but we found out through Ohkubou, that heaven and hell indeed existed. They were directly linked to the edge of this world. What people don't know is, the thing that keeps the winds in the desert blowing is the fact that there is nothing beyond those winds. The winds are being pushed along by a great nothingness influenced by hell. Once the city is eaten up by those winds completely, within a decade the nothingness will take over and we will cease to exist. Everything will be eaten by that great nothingness.
"If you continue down this river, you will pass through nothing, which is the edge of heaven."
My heart nearly stopped.
I had been in that river going downstream...
I suddenly felt fucking scared to death, reliving that memory...
I was completely in the dark...
How many people were killed that way...?
How many people were going to die that way...?
"And that's why we are going to have to move this peaceful city soon if we want to save the people from disappearing..." He trailed off.
This was too fucking much...
"You have to be fucking kidding me..."
"Sanosuke. You asked, remember that much."
I stood up and walked over to him slowly, clenching the blanket around me even tighter.
"Is there anyway to stop that...?!" I demanded.
He nodded, "Why do you think we're trying so desperately to get rid of the Trilogy?"
"So that's why..." I trailed off, my knees buckling. I didn't fall to the ground, even so. Warm arms caught me.
I looked up to the ceiling, a faint wetness glazing my eyes over.
"Hajime... we..."
"You may be that chance we're looking for." He stated carefully.
That key... my body that had produced the key...
"Shit... I'm scared." I admitted all at once, latching onto Hajime's chest as he sat back down, me seated on his lap. He remained impassive as he let me sob, staining his shirt with my tears. I looked at his shirt and froze as I noticed the blood there.
I pulled back abruptly, gripping my hands to my face to see what was bleeding now. My vision was clouded by red.
My fingers dipped into that trail of tears, and as I pulled my fingers away, across the tips was a red tinged substance.
My tears were blood...?
"Hajime..." I spoke carefully, hoping desperately that he would tell me what was going on now.
He looked at me carefully, or at least I think he did, my heart ached and more of that red poured from my eyes as I tried to choke back more sobs.
His hand stroked along my cheek carefully, brushing the trailing blood away. I was bleeding all over him... but he didn't seem to care.
"What the fuck is wrong with me...!?!" I shouted, wanting an answer, any answer... when did all this start, when would it end!? Why was this all happening to me at once!? I couldn't take this!! I just couldn't...!!
"Nothing is wrong with you. You are the chosen one." His voice coaxed; I was squeezing my eyes shut tightly, wanting that smell... the smell that had lingered on the corpses of my parents, to leave... damnit... leave!!!
"What are you talking about!?! Everything is wrong! My body is in shambles, I threw up some kind of mechanical bug that grew inside me and now I'm crying blood! How the fuck could there not be anything wrong!?!" I demanded, not bothering to choke back my cries anymore.
I openly wept and buried my face in his shirt once again.
"This is hard for you, I know. But you're still alive and you're the one person who will be able to lead the people of this city to freedom and live. Without you, they will all die when the Trilogy brutally murders them, like your family, or when the desert swallows them whole." He admonished harshly.
I shook my head, "How the hell can you just tell me that!? How the hell am I supposed to believe that!? What the fuck am I supposed to do!?" I spat back, rivaling his harsh tone rather well.
Hajime shuffled around on his desk and grabbed something.
The next thing I felt was a cool cloth on my face, wiping away the blood.
"Get yourself together. It's all right to cry, but I'm only going to be here for you this once. This is the only time that I'm going to allow you to cry over this situation. This is your last chance to feel sorry for yourself, do you understand?" He asked, gently patting the tears away from the bottom of my swollen eyelids.
I frowned. I guess that made sense. But how could he just say that?! He had no idea how this hurt me...
But if this was my only chance, I was going to make good on it.
I spent the rest of the night crying on his shoulder and thanking god for his arms embracing me...
If he hadn't been there then there would have been nothing keeping me from jumping in that river and drowning myself to the edge of heaven.
---------
End of part three