A/N:
loveless forever: Oh it's ok XD at least you review now and for tht I am grateful. I am happy you love the story! Please keep reading and reviewing.
Yunapie: Kyoya is my favorite as well. I absolutely love KyoxTama, sadly few are the ones that notice this yaoiness on their relationship. Glad you are enjoying my fic, hope I can answer to your expectations! Please keep reading and reviewing.
princesslady: So angsty ne XD? I am an angst whore, what can I do? Anyway, glad you liked it!Please read and review.
flowerchild: I am so very happy you think that I write his perspective well! It is reallyhard to write about Kyoya without being OOC. I hope I can keep up like this and that you continue to like my fic! And thank you for mentioning the complete problem XD' -sweatdrop- I wouldn't have noticed. It's far from complete XD. Please continue to read and review!
LadyJadeBlaze: Glad you liked it ), it's updated! Please read and review!
Don't forget to review people XDD!
Anything for You
It is Saturday. Apparently Tamaki is coming over to sleep at his house for the weekend. It's been sometime since they have done this. Kyoya misses the blonde's presence. Whenver Tamaki is there, Kyoya actually feel home. His scent, his smiles and happiness fill his room and his house, puts color into the dull white and warms his heart.
But of course that he is only coming to plan something to get Haruhi in a dress or a bikini or something like that. Kyoya wonders if he will be able to ignore this and be happy with just having him there. Can the light that Tamaki carries fill the dark corners of his broken heart?
Can he forget the times when it was just them and accept the present?
I'd give anything to give me to you
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me
The French project of man enters the room with his arms opened; he practically jumps on Kyoya as he crushes the brunette with his hug. Kyoya shyly hugs back and for a moment allows himself to close his eyes and enjoy the simple moment.
He wish he could fall to the floor in Tamaki's arms, he wish he could let go and be held by him like the girls in the Host Club. To be able to close his eyes and simply feel the energy that seems to flow out of the blonde. If only he could do that, eve if just for a moment...
It is times like these that he can't help but remember the beginning. The way Tamaki saved him, showed him that he is not completely doomed, that there are some things in his life that can change. The times in which he was the only one and that he didn't have to make an effort to hear the blonde. When Tamaki visited him just to be with him...not to talk about Haruhi.
He did do anything to have that past back - to erase the present and have Tamaki all to himself again.
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
"Kyoya I have the most perfect idea for a Host Club weekend trip!" He excitedly said, slightly jumping at each word. Kyoya calmly listened, putting the tea tray in front of them both. He heard the word "beach" and he sighed. He was right all along. This was all about getting Haruhi in bikinis.
"So which beach do you want us to go? You do know that Haruhi cannot go outside the country since she does not have a passport and it must be somewhere near so we don't miss Monday's class." Kyoya said and patiently waited for Tamaki to think about where to go and answer him.
After the blonde started rambling again he closed his eyes, closed himself, not really wanting to hear whatever Tamaki was saying. His hands closed in fists under the green kotatsu. If being a commoner would make Tamaki love him than he did give up his fortune right now.
He did give up all of his dreams for it. He does and did not know what life without Tamaki is. Tamaki was the one that introduced him to a partially happy life. He cannot imagine what will be like once school is over and he goes back to France.
He will be broken and thrown back into the reality his father created or him. And this time he will have no one to save him and no reason to actually change. This time he will accept it because there is no reason for him to fight it.
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
But there is nothing he can do to avoid the future, Tamaki is quickly falling madly in love with the short girl and all he can do is watch. He can't be the one Tamaki loves, but he will do anything Tamaki asks just to try – not like he could ever deny anything to him.
"I will see if everyone is available to the Host Club weekend trip. Though you should have told me earlier Tamaki. The exams are coming up soon." Kyoya said, pushing the glasses farther up his nose. Tamaki's mood started to change from happy to sad and Kyoya observed the change.
"But I just thought…well…we are all tired…I just wanted to have some fun time with everyone…we are family after all." He says, eyes cast down and Kyoya can't help but give a tender smile. He looks so adorably cute.
"I never said we won't go." The four eyed boy simply says and is bombarded by hugs. He sighs. He is forever trapped into this. No one will ever capture him like Tamaki involuntarily has. He allows a smile to form on his lips, hugging Tamaki back.
Have you left to make me feel anymore
There's only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Unfortunately the moment ends far too soon for Kyoya's liking. Tamaki stands again and gets something from the bag of clothes he brought. It is a bikini. Pink with laces.
Kyoya listen to everything the French says as he quietly and slowly drinks his tea. Oh how he envied the commoner girl. If he could choose anyone in the world he would like to be, it would be her. After all being her would make everything so much easier.
Tamaki could easily marry him if he was Haruhi, no one would ever object to that, not to mention that if he was Haruhi all the love Tamaki has for the girl would be directed towards him.
But he isn't Haruhi and never will be so he has to pretend that everything is fine and do his best to keep Tamaki close while he can.
Come and find me
I'll do anything you say just tell me
So how exactly does he keep Tamaki close you may wonder? He obeys him. He listens to his complaints and stupidity and acquiesce every single request the "King" wishes. For that will make the French remain near - at least for the next year or so.
Kyoya stops thinking about his own world and feelings for a while to observe Tamaki. He is smiling like the idiot everyone thinks he is but the smile does not completely reach his eyes. He is talking about all that can happen and daydreaming, but the slight sad glint in his blue/violet eyes let Kyoya know that Tamaki is conscious of the fact that none of his daydreams will come true.
And of course the blonde knows he is in love with Haruhi; he may look like an idiot but in truth he is not one. He is doing all of this to disguise it of course. To lie to himself. Because if he ends up believing his own lies he won't have to risk his heart again…he won't fear losing her to someone else, someone more worthy in his mind.
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Tamaki has as many fears and insecurities as Kyoya or even more. He lost his mother so he is afraid of risking himself again. So the whole father-daughter thing goes on while he lies to everyone especially himself.
But in truth Kyoya does not mind all of this. After all it is this madness that is avoiding midnight. This madness keeps the carriage from turning into a pumpkin. Amazing metaphor that Kaoru created…so incredibly fitting.
Tamaki yawned and Kyoya knew it was time to sleep. He finished his tea which was now cold and tasted bad; Tamaki did the same making an ugly face which almost –almost- made Kyoya smile.
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
"Ne Kyoya do you think they will like my idea?" He asks after they both lay down on Kyoya's bed. It is always like this with Tamaki. Kyoya wonders if he does not know that no matter how much of friends they are, they are not supposed to sleep on the same bed. Not like he is complaining.
"I have no idea Tamaki." Kyoya answers, half-heartedly annoyed. Seeing the sad glint appear again on Tamaki's blue eyes, he ruffles the blonde hair slightly, getting the other's attention again. "They will be surprised at first, but I am certain they will like it after we are actually at the beach." Kyoya partially lies.
But the lie was worth it, for Tamaki stares him in the eye and his lips form a small kind smile. The French knows it is a lie but apparently he appreciates Kyoya's effort. Kyoya forgot how to breathe for a moment, staring back at Tamaki.
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
The blonde sighed and cuddled with Kyoya, head resting on Kyoya's shoulder and one arm lazily wrapped around the brunette's waist. This does not happen with just anyone. No...only the blonde boy can. Kyoya lets him for there is no reason not to, and he does not want to avoid a moment that brings so much peace and calm to his mind and heart.
"Kyoya?" He hears the small whisper, knowing Tamaki is afraid of waking him up since he does not like to be woken.
"Yes?" The brunette questions, his voice slurred as sleep comes fast. It always does when Tamaki is there, when he is close and he can almost feel his heart beating, when he can definitely feel him breathing on his neck.
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
"Thank you." He says with that smile of his after Kyoya actually looks at him in the eye. They are so close, nose almost bumping, defying Kyoya's self control. The brunette smiles, his eyes not hidden behind his glasses, his soul opened for only Tamaki to see.
Anything for you
All without your hurt inside
"You have nothing to thank me for Tamaki." He simply says. It is true, or Kyoya does not feel obligated to actually do anything. He only pretends for he must keep his reputation of being selfish, mean and only doing things if they give him merit or benefits.
Though that rule actually applies to Tamaki just not in the way everyone thinks it does. Kyoya –by doing the things that Tamaki wantes- gets his company and friendship, his hugs, his whispers, his smiles and the happy glint on his blue eyes. That my friend is what Kyoya wants from Tamaki, that is the benefit.
Will never never die
I'll be, everything you need
Soon Tamaki's breathing is even and he can feel Tamaki's breaths on his neck, tickling him, the blonde's mouth slightly opened. He wraps a hand around the other's back and caresses slowly, not wanting to awake the French boy.
And finally he does what he had wished before when they hugged. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply, taking in everything in this moment. The feel of Tamaki's weight against him, his breath tickling his skin, his lips lightly touching his neck from time to time, making him shiver; his arm wrapped on Kyoya's waist.
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
He takes several deep breaths as he struggles with his instincts, he struggles to keep his arms still and not hug Tamaki close and tight against him. He tries to think about things that will make him remember of his reality.
'Tomorrow...tomorrow' – he thinks. Tomorrow he has to wake up early and call everyone, he will have to pack and listen to Tamaki's rambling all over again. Tomorrow he will see Tamaki trying his best to win Haruhi's heart without even noticing. He sighs...this brought him back to normal
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Why - he asks himself- does he put up with all of this? Why is he right now torn between the happiness of having the other so close, and the ache of knowing this moment will fade when morning comes?
Because he is Tamaki's. Even without the other's knowledge of the fact. He will do anything, absolutely anything for the one that brought him to life even if just for a couple of years.