It has been a few nights since the full moon, and getting Isaac out of jail. The day after I went over to his house, and had to force myself not to go downstairs. Allison and Scott told me that there is a chest freezer down there with a padlock on it and scratch marks on the inside. His dad locked him in that thing for who knows how long. I just wanted to get a few things for Isaac. Some clothes, his mp3 player, some soap. Things that the cops won't notice are missing, but things that will hopefully give him a sense of 'home'.

I also stopped by the store and bought a generic track phone and put a bunch of minutes on it. I also got some snack food for him. Some healthy, some not. I didn't really know what he likes so I went with variety. Probably gonna have to do a few more chores around the house to get a better allowance, but seeing as I am the one who does most of the house work anyway, I don't think dad will really care. He works long hours and really odd ones at that. Never know when the next crime is going to happen.

I dropped by the abandoned train station, that shall heretofore be known as 'DCL', or 'Derek's Creepy Lair', after I had everything. Isaac looked bored out of his mind when I started down the stairs, and I could tell the instant he caught my scent. His head perked up and his eyes go big. He ran over and grabbed most of the stuff out of my hands and carried it back to what must be his 'room.' I followed and am at least pleased to see a mattress, and a lamp.

He texts me quite a bit after that. And it only takes a day and my dad working a night shift to invite him over. I tell him to come up to the back of the house from the woods, and that the door will be unlocked. When he gets here he still knocks on the door, and I go to let him in. I What surprised me more is that Derek is there as well. I thought he would be off doing whatever wolfy stuff he does or brooding in a dark coffee shop. He would do something like that. I don't say anything, but I let them in. I have lasagna in the oven already baking and I have some garlic bread ready to go in. Derek stands stoically in the doorway to the kitchen while Isaac is fidgeting. I can tell he wants to hug, but is holding himself back. So I take away the option and go over to him and wrap him up in a Stilinski hug. He may be taller than me, but he slips easily into the embrace. His nose finds my neck and I can hear the inhale. Scenting is defiantly something that I have to get used to. The book I have upstairs says that scenting is not only a way of marking territory, or telling other wolves that this person is under their protection, it is a way of showing affection in a pack and gaining a sense of comfort. Especially toward the humans in the pack. I am not sure why Isaac feels the need to do it, and why Scott doesn't. I always thought that I was part of his pack. But I guess he doesn't feel the same way. And I am pretty sure that Derek doesn't feel like I am part of his pack. I asked Allison if Scott does it to her, and she said he did. When she asked why I wanted to know, I just brushed it off as simple curiosity. And if Scott noticed that I suddenly smelled like a different wolf, he doesn't say anything.

The look in Derek's eyes every time this happens is always the same. Jealousy. I don't think he realizes he lets the mask slip a little every time, but I am the only one around to see it so I don't say anything. I pull away and ask Isaac if he would help me make the salad for dinner and go about setting the table. Isaac is more than happy to, or at least I think his is judging from the grin on his face.

I don't know why I have come to feel so protective over him. I have tried not to analyze it, but I just can't help it. Maybe it's because he has lost both of his parents now. Maybe it's because of the way his dad used to treat him. Maybe it's because I feel like I should have seen this earlier and done something about it. We were never close and we didn't talk. Isaac was much more introverted before the change. Now he talks more freely. At least to me he does.

Dinner is a bit awkward. Well for me and Derek it is. Isaac seems completely comfortable. He rambles about the training that Derek is giving him, and how much he loved the Nutty Bars I picked up. He had never had them before. After that admission he quiets down a bit, but I pick up the conversation in his place, saying how they are one of my favorites too. It's not a complete lie, but they don't call me on it. Then I move on to tell him how lucky he is to now have to be in school. How Harris is still a douche bag and that homework really sucks.

After dinner he helps me do the dishes, and Derek stays seated at the table. He has yet to say anything tonight. I try not to make eye contact with him, but he seems to be looking at me every time I look in his direction. I don't know what to make of it.

We move to the living room, and I let Isaac pick out what we watch. He decides on a movie, I don't really remember what it was. What do remember is sitting next to him on the couch almost cuddling, and running my fingers through his curly hair. I remember Derek sitting in an armchair watching us, and not the TV. I remember Isaac falling asleep on my shoulder even though the action sequences blare through the surround sound speakers. After he has been a sleep for twenty minutes, I turn off the movie. No one was watching it anyway. But I don't move. I don't feel like I need to. And that hasn't happened in a long time. I am usually always fidgeting and there is nothing I can do about it. But now, I just feel calm. And happy.

Derek looks like he wants to say something, and he only lets Isaac sleep for ten more minutes before he is waking him up. "Isaac, I need to talk to Stiles for a minute. Can you go outside, and put in your earphones." Isaac nods and starts to get up but pauses. I stand too knowing what he wants, but is unwilling to ask for. I hug him, and it is just like every other time. When he pulls back there is a smile on his face. "Thanks for supper, and having us over."

"Anytime." He walks out the back of the house to the tree line and I see him put on the music. When I turn to Derek he is in my personal space. Not unusual. What is unusual is that he turns my head and starts to scent the other side of my neck. The one opposite Isaac has every time. This is completely different than when Isaac does it. His scruff rubs and scratches my skin, and his breath is hotter. When his arms wrap around my waist and pull me flush with his body, I am unsure how to react. But I do just like I did with Isaac. I hug him back and let him do what needs to be done. He is mumbling something into my neck. I can't hear it, but as he says it I can feel the tension that he has had in him all night start to recede. When he speaks loud enough for me to hear him I am shocked at the words. "Thank you for helping him." I just nod. I don't think I am capable of speech at the moment. "There will be others. I will turn others." I nod again. I know what he means by saying it. I know what he wants me to do. And I can't find it in myself to say no. I want to help. It's the least I can do.

He pulls away. I am not sure how long he was there for. The mask is in place when he pulls back, so I can't see how he is feeling, but I know there are warring emotions inside him. I hope he can work them out.

I finish cleaning up from our…, whatever that was. Put the leftovers in the fridge, and head up to my room. It is about time for me to hit the sack, when I get a call from Allison. We decided to stick to texting unless it was major. So I pick up without hesitation.

"My family is full of psychos!"

"Hello to you too. My night was great, thanks for asking."

"Sorry. It has just been a really rough night, and I am not even home yet."

"What happened?"

"My dad decided to start my training tonight."

"Okay?"

"He kidnapped me and then freaked me out making me think that he was bitten and about to turn and kill me. I know Derek would never do that. But the way it looked, well it looked real. And they even did this weird audio thing to make it sound like Derek's voice. And this all happened at the Hale house. As if enough stuff hasn't happened there already. Then he gave me the arrow I hit that hunter with, and got mad at me for helping, which was totally worth it by the way, and I had to use it to free myself from the ropes that he tied me up with. It was a test to see how long it would take me to escape. This is not how I wanted things to go. I know normal isn't an option for me anymore. I know that they only way for me to survive in this world and not be useless is to learn, but I think that he needs to find a better way of teaching."

She is out of breath when she finishes her rant and I don't blame her for feeling that way. I am pissed that the Hunters feel a right to traipse through the old Hale house like it is their property. Derek still owns it. Maybe there are ways we can set traps up to ward them off.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, he didn't hurt me, just freaked me out. And I needed to talk to someone about it."

"Why didn't you call Scott?"

"Because he would have freaked out and tried to rush over to my house to make sure I was okay. And I don't think that I can handle the coddling at this point."

"Oh."

"Is it okay that I called you?"

"Yes! I don't mind. I was just curious. I didn't think that I would have anyone but Scott turn to me when they are having issues. Now I have a bunch of people." That last bit slips out before I can keep it in.

"More people are turning to you? Derek?"

"Isaac, and maybe Derek." There is silence from her end of the line, and I know she is waiting for me to just say it. "They were over here for supper, and we watched a movie. No big deal."

"Derek was being domestic?"

"NO!" My eyes bulge out of my head. Or at least it feels like they do. "He didn't say anything the whole time he was here." Lie. Lie. Lie. Yes he did. But I am not going to share that with anyone right now.

"Hmmm."

I roll my eyes. "No, hmmmm, tell me."

"It's nothing really. Just interesting. He went from not talking to you to not talking to you but coming over for dinner."

"He was only there because Isaac was there. He is probably afraid of Isaac losing control or something." Even I don't believe it when I say it. But that is the most reasonable answer so it has to be true.

"Well whatever the reason, it seems like things might get better between you two."

"Maybe. I don't know."

There is a longer silence this time. I don't want to say anything more, and I am trying really hard not to over think anything. I think Allison can understand that. "Well I am about a block from home, so I should let you go. I will talk to you tomorrow at school."

We say our good byes, and I put the phone down, and change into my bed clothes. Which now consists of underwear, and Derek's shirt. It still smells like him, and after being scented by him, it makes my head light, but falling asleep is always so easy with his scent that close to me.

…

The next day in gym class, we are doing a rock wall. It is pretty awesome I have to say. Usually we end up running the track or doing some other sport. This is a bit more relaxed. I go on the wall with Erica. We have gone to school together about as long as me and Lydia have. But she has always kept more to herself. Some of that might have to do with the epilepsy. She used to get teased a lot when she was younger, and just last year when she had an attack in class someone recorded her and put it up online for everyone to see. That is one of the shittiest things that someone could do. Everyone knows she is very self-conscious about it. I make it up the wall and down again, but then I can see her start to freak out. It looks like she is about to have a panic attack. I don't even think about it. I am up the wall and right next to her in now time. The Coach is trying to talk her down, but she can't really hear him over the panic. I know what it's like. So I start very calmly, resting a hand over hers. "Erica. Look at me." She slowly turns her head tears starting in her eyes. "I need you to take my hand and we are going to kick off the wall and drop down. The rope will catch us. There is a mat underneath so we won't get hurt. Everything will be fine." She looks at me and slowly nods her head. I shift closer to her, and wrap one arm around her shoulders so she can grab the rope in both hands. "On the count of three. Ready, one… two… three." We slowly kick off the wall and drop down a few feet at a time. When we reach the bottom, we unhook from the harness, and I walk with her back to the locker rooms, with an arm still on her shoulder. Allison isn't far behind, Lydia either, but I don't think that it is for the same reasons. When we get to the girl's locker room I hand her off the Allison and she says that she will make sure she is alright. Then Scott pulls me off to the boy's locker room. "Dude, how did you know to do that?"

"I saw the panic attack start to happen. I told you that I used to get them. She was fifteen feet in the air. That would be so much worse that having one on the ground." Then when the other guys come in I pull away a bit. Not really wanting to talk about it. The overprotective urge came over me again, and this time it wasn't even a wolf I was doing it for.

Before we can all leave, Coach comes in and says if any of us have seen Isaac that we are supposed to tell a teacher or call him. I do my best not to scoff, but then Scott looks at me hard. I was wondering when he might pick up that I have been scented. I don't say anything and just continue getting dressed. Then he does come up to me and wants to cancel the plans we have laid out for tonight. We are getting the keys for the ice rink and having a 'double date.' Scott's words not mine. He still thinks I am in love with Lydia, and I am quite happy to let him believe that for now. My 'Big Gay Crush' is still not something that I am willing to share with anyone more than Allison. And I am pretty sure she knows it's more than a crush.

So I play up all the talk to Scott saying about how I want to have sex in various positions, and much more. But then he stops listening to me and his hand starts shaking. He runs off to the gym and gets there right in time to catch Erica as she falls. She made it almost all the way up the wall without a harness, totally badass, but then she started to have a seizure. I pull out my phone and dial 911. Scott, Allison and I stay with her until the ambulance gets there and takes her to the hospital. I am kinda freaked out, but I am just glad that Scott was there in time to save her. I think the only thing worse than having to witness all of that is that there is still a whole day to get through before I can leave school. This was only first period.

Today is just not a good day in general. I had such a great night, but today sucks. Then I see Jackson accost Lydia in the hallway and I want to deck him right now. But All I can do is approach her as he leaves. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

She is shaking a bit and there are tears collecting at her eyes. When she looks at me, it's like the way she looked at me at the dance. I just pull her into a hug and she doesn't fight it. She doesn't hug me back, but she does rest her head on my chest while she cries. The bell rings and she pulls away. "Thanks." It sounds so unlike Lydia. She walks away before I can say anything else. I know she isn't going to get over it that quickly. She still loves him, even if he is an asshole.

…

At lunch I take a seat across from Boyd. And nod to him. "You got the keys?" he holds them out, but when I go to take them, he doesn't let them go.

"This isn't a favor. It's a transaction."

"Right, yeah. Absolutely."

I take money out of my pocket, and slap it on the table. "I said fifty."

"Really? I…I remember twenty. I don't know. I have a really good memory. And I remember twenty. I remember that distinctive 'twa' sound. 'Twa-enty'." A guy can try to bargain.

"I said fifty. With a 'fa' sound. Hear the difference? If you can't, I can demonstrate some other words with the 'fa' sound. "

"No, no, no. I think I'm recalling it now. Maybe I just got it confused with forty." I put another twenty bucks on the table. He isn't relenting. So I just slip the other ten bucks on the table and then he smiles and hands the keys back to me. I take them this time, and go sit by Scott. But he is distracted. And I can see why. Erica's back from the hospital. But she doesn't look like Erica. She is wearing pretty revealing clothing, her hair is actually done, and looks professional, and she is wearing way too much makeup. But it all only goes to accentuate her natural beauty. They vibe I am getting from her and from Scott says that she is a wolf now. Derek said there would be more, but I am still a bit blind sighted by it.

When she leaves we get up and follow. And we end up following her outside to the parking lot, where she gets into Derek's car. I am happy that Derek is expanding his pack and helping out people who could actually use it, Erica- epilepsy, Isaac- abuse. But there is still a part of me that is jealous. Why won't he ask me if I want the bite? Why go to all these people he doesn't know when he could ask me. If it was him who asked I am pretty sure I would say yes.

Scott is mad too, but for different reasons. And when he can sense my agitation he kind of goes off on me. "Why are you so angry? You probably knew this was coming. You smell so heavily of Isaac and Derek. Why are you hanging out with them so much, letting them hang all over you? When are you going to get the bite?"

I can't even talk to him right now. I can't even deal with the rest of this day. I decide I have had enough. I skip school and just head to the cemetery. I spend a few hours there talking to mom. Saying things out loud that I wouldn't say to anyone else. Then the three words come out of my mouth before I even know they were true. "I love Derek." I start to freak out. But the more I think about it. The more I know it to be true. I don't know how or why it happened, but I fell in love with him. It feels so much different than what I felt for Lydia. I don't even know where to start. I don't think I want to. This is for me and for mom. No one else has to know. No one else will know. I stop the pacing I was doing before, and sit down on the grass leaning against her headstone. "I love him mom, and I am so scared because he lives this life that I will never be able to keep up with. I try so hard. And I do if for Scott as much as I do it for him. But the feelings are still there. And they won't go away. I can't tell him because he would just laugh at me. He would look at me and feel pity. I can't take the pity anymore. It isn't something I can deal with again. But I love him…" I fade into silence and I by the time I decide it's time to leave it is getting dark and I have to go to the ice rink on this stupid double date thing. But now I can do it to make sure Lydia's okay. I am just going to ignore Scott for now. He doesn't know anything because he doesn't ask. He is more worried about his own shit and Allison that he doesn't really see me anymore. And that's fine I guess. People move on. Its' a thing, and it happens. I'll be okay. Eventually.

…

They are all there waiting for me. I am a few minutes late, but I don't apologize. Allison sends me a worried look, but doesn't say anything I know she will try to ask me later. Lydia and I pull away from Scott and Allison when we go to put our skates on. "Could it be any colder in here?" I want to give her a look, ice rink? But instead I reach in my bag and pull out an orange hoodie. I don't wear it often. Normally when I go for a late night run. "I'm wearing blue. Orange and blue, not a good combination."

"Actually they work well together. They are opposite on the color wheel. They are often used together. Maybe not this bright of an orange with the dark of your blue, but it still works. Plus it's just the four of us here. No one will see you." She just gives me a look but does accept the hoodie regardless. Then I dig a Reese's out of my bag and hand it over to her. She stares at it for a minute but does grab it and start eating. "So maybe orange and blue aren't that good of a combo. But sometimes things that you think wouldn't work together actually can. It can be the perfect combination. Two people together who nobody ever thought would be together, ever." I am staring at my skates the whole time. I don't know why I said that, but I felt the need to defend it. Even if it is something that she knows nothing about.

"Who are you in love with?" I quickly look up to meet her eyes, and they are closed slightly in thought. "I know it isn't me. Not anymore. So who?"

"I… uh- I…" I don't know what to say. She caught me so off guard with this. I close my eyes, and shake my head. I don't want to lie, but I can't tell her the truth. I can't tell anyone. "No one. I am not in love with anyone right now."

"I know you're lying. And I know you will tell me eventually. But for now I suppose we can just try and have fun."

"Um, yeah… Sure."

She rolls her eyes at me. "I know I have not been the nicest person in the world to you. But I want to make up for it. You were pretty amazing at the dance with me. You let me go off to look for… You didn't try to control me. You saw me for me. And no one else at that school has been able to see through my tightly guarded defenses. So, bravo. Now I believe this is supposed to be a 'double date', but we are just sitting here while they are have all the fun." And just like that, Lydia is now a friend. I am pretty happy. Not for the reasons I would have been six months ago, but I am happy all the same.

It really shouldn't surprise me that Lydia is like a pro. She is good at everything she puts her mind to. We do end up skating hand in hand but it is more for the fun of it than anything. When I see her bend down and pick something off the floor and then skate slowly over the ice I start to get worried. Then she is bent over and starting at something that isn't there and she is screaming. I am trying to pull her away from the ice but I can't. Allison says she will take her home. I am pretty worried, but there isn't really anything I can do.

…

The next day in school I sit down with Scott at lunch but I am not talking to him. But then I notice that Boyd is missing. He sits at the same table every day. Scott notices when I look over there and he wants to rush off to check the ice rink and wants me to check his house. I don't really want to. Derek would give them the choice. I asked Isaac about Erica last night, and about himself. He said that Derek told them everything. The risks, the full moons, the hunters, what it means to be pack, he even told them about what happened to him. Something I don't think he has shared with anyone. If they know the risks and they still want the bite after all that, well then I think that they should get it. What I defiantly don't say is that if he asked me I would take it. Scott already thinks I am going to get it. I don't say anything though. I am going to try and find Boyd, just to make sure that he got all the information like the others did.

So that is how I find myself at Boyd's house. When I don't get an answer on the door I turn to leave. He must be at the rink. But I don't get more than one step before Erica is there. "Hey Stiles. What brings you here?"

"Oh, you know looking for Boyd."

"Oh, really why is that?" she moves up into my personal space. This feels so different than when Derek does it. But I don't recoil away. Then she takes one whiff of my shoulder and steps away. She has her head down, and I can almost see the girl I helped off of the rock wall yesterday. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I wasn't supposed to do that."

"Do what?"

"Scent you."

"Who said not to?"

She finally looks up at me. "Who do you think?"

I take a deep breath and sigh. "Derek?"

She just nods her head, "I did want to thank you though."

"For what?"

She gives me the new Erica bitch glare for a moment, and then she realizes what she is doing and stops. "For helping me. No one has done that before. Not like that."

"Anytime." Now I feel the need to protect her again. I grab her and pull her into a hug. And just like Isaac she gets her head in the left crook of my neck, and starts scenting. She stops for a second. "It's okay, I don't mind." It takes her a second, but she continues. What the hell is going on with Derek's wolves? Is he starving them that much for attention that they have to turn to me?

She finally back up and takes my hand. "Come on. Scott is going to get his ass kicked if we don't get to the ice rink."

"Why do you care what happens to Scott?"

"I don't, but you do." She says it like it is the simplest thing in the world. We get back in my jeep and head for the ice rink.

We get there just as Scott starts to confront Boyd. Derek and Isaac are there too and as soon as I am in the door Isaac steps forward but stops himself. Derek must have told them both not to scent me. Before Isaac can protest I step forward and wrap him in a hug pulling his head down to my neck staring Derek in the eyes the whole time in silent protest. If they want to scent me then you are not going to stop them. I don't mind, and neither should you.

Isaac makes this happy growling sound and Erica giggles a little. After I am sure Isaac is okay, I let him go. Then in an act of boldness I step over to Derek. My arms are loose at my sides and my head is tilted a bit to left leaving the right side of my neck visible and slightly on display, but the intent is clear. His eyes go that bright shade of amethyst but doesn't move toward me. I can tell he wants to, he is fighting his instinct. But he does send a glare at me. The mask is in place so I can't see the meaning behind it, but it is meant to show anger. Instead of reacting I just walk over to Isaac and Erica. Take their hands and go to find Scott on the ice. When Scott makes the comment about finding better friends than Derek, I am a bit hurt. I want Derek for a friend. Well more than that. But Scott honestly doesn't like him. The beta's drop my hands and move to stand in front of me a bit. Half blocking Scott's view of me.

"That really hurt, Scott. I mean, if you're going to review me, at least take a consensus." But I don't want this to be a fight. I don't want them to fight. I push past Erica and Isaac, and step a bit past Derek.

"Really, this is the route you guys are going to take? All of the shit that the three of us went through the last couple of months. This is how you want to play things out?"

"He betrayed us. He went to Peter's side."

"No he didn't. " Derek is looking at me almost imploring me not to say what needs to be said. "He came to me that night. After I took you home. He came to me and he told me that he wasn't with Peter. It was so hard for him to admit that. Do you know why Scott? Do you know why he was on the verge of a break down?" Silence. "No you don't. You didn't stop to think that he had just figured out earlier that night, that he would have to kill his only remaining family member. Did you ever stop to think about that?" More silence. "No you didn't. You just keep blaming him for something that was so far out of his control. You blame him almost as much as he blames himself." At that last statement, my eyes turn from Scott to Derek. The mask is gone and the look of vulnerability on his face tells it all. Then I turn back to Scott.

"If they are making the choice, and they are, then it is their decision. Derek is telling them all of the risks. All of them. This is more than some power play. You would know that if you would talk to me more. I have done so much research. I have read so much information that it could make your head spin." I should stop there. But all of this stuff in my head, it's been tearing at me to say it out loud. To tell Scott how I have been feeling. "The reason I smell like them, it's because they are scenting me. They see me as part of their pack. They want to make sure other wolves know that I am under their protection. I know that you do with Allison. I asked her. But you don't do it with me. I must not be part of your pack. And you know what? If you are going to act like this then I don't want to be." The hurt look that crosses his face almost has me taking it back. But I don't. "Isaac knew me for all of five minutes and he did it. Erica, well it took her a little longer, but she has too." Scott looks from me to Derek. I don't say that he did it to, but only because it felt different. "They want me around. They want me to be there. So I am going to be. I helped you through your first three full moons. If I can handle you then I can sure as hell help them."

Scott starts to say something but I hold up a hand, "I don't want to hear whatever it is you have to say right now. I am really pissed off at you. You haven't even stopped to notice how all of this shit is affecting me. You are a fucking werewolf. You can heal faster that I can. You have the senses that are enhanced, not me. I'm human. But I have been there for you through all of it. I have dealt with everything you have. Helped you out, even when you didn't ask for it. But you just think that you can keep apologizing and that everything will be okay. Well not this time. We are still best friends. Brothers. But right now I need space."

I start to walk away and before I even make it off the ice, Isaac and Erica are latched onto each side of me both of them have a hand in mine. I can hear two more sets of footsteps behind us, but I know that neither of them are Scott's. As soon as we get outside Derek tells his three betas to head toward the parking lot. As soon as they are on their way I brace myself for the verbal onslaught that I am sure is coming. Instead Derek grabs me by my red hoodie and pulls me into the shadow of the building, and pushes me up against the wall. When his lips touch mine they are rough, but full of passion and emotion. I am so unprepared for this, at first I flail a bit, but then my hands find the back of his leather jacket and I am griping it so hard. I am trying to hold him there while I kiss back. I feel fireworks go off all over my body, and it is like fire racing through my veins. He pulls away and pushes the collar of my shirt away and starts kissing my neck. He starts scenting me again, but this time there is so much more behind it. My eyes are blown wide and I know he can feel how aroused I am, hell I can feel him too. And that is a whole other line of thought that is filed away for later. By the time he pulls away and my eyes are open, he is gone. I slide down the wall to sit on the ground, and my hand comes up to my neck. I am pretty sure that I am going to have a hickey there tomorrow, but I can't seem to muster up the energy to care. Derek Hale kissed me. Derek Hale kissed me…