For some reason this story is easy to just casually write, whereas all the others I'm stuck on.
I don't know about anyone else, but I've had conversations with people in dreams before including talking to them about their human equivalent, it's pretty creepy but that's what gave me the idea for this one. :) Hope you like it.
He wanted to turn away, if he closed his eyes maybe everything would return to normal, he couldn't face her again, the more he saw her, the harder it was to let go.
But he wasn't in their bed as he usually was when dreams began, he was sat at his desk in the study, the small space he called his own just off their living room and she was in the doorway watching him intently.
The sun shone through behind her, creating a glowing light around her - as if he didn't already consider her an angel.
He looked straight back at her, letting his eyes wander over her marvellous figure, she may complain that it was not what it used to be, but to him she was still perfect, once a very petite woman whose entire body curled up could fit in his arms, was now wonderfully curved out since the birth of their child.
She wore a dress he'd never seen before, it was deep crimson, a lower neckline than usual and just a little further off the ground, it clung to her every curve and just begged him to hold.
When he finally looked up he saw her hair was down, cascading over her shoulders in dark brown curls and her eyes, normally bright sparkling blue now just as dark with desire he knew only meant one thing.
"Where's Catherine?" he inquired, knowing even in a dream he could not change everything and she would let out a cry and the moment would be gone.
"Lady Sybil took her to the big house so the family could see her, then Anna's looking after her this afternoon."
"So we have the whole afternoon?" He quirked an eyebrow, though knowing this may not be a safe path to go down.
"The whole afternoon." She walked over to him with a more prominent sway of her hips and reached for his hand.
She managed to pull him into their bedroom before he realised exactly where this was going, she let him lay her down on the bed but he didn't lie with her, he held her waist and simply sat next to her. She looked up at him in disappointment but with a sense of curiosity about her.
"Charles?" She tried to sit up but he held her down, he saw her eyes were almost frightened but she trusted him and he knew.
"You're so beautiful." He said after a while simply looking at her, he'd seen her every day for years, been in such close proximity both day and night, yet she still took his breath away every time he looked at her – she was just perfect. Even if he could only hold her in the dreams, only have her lie beneath him then, she was just as beautiful.
"What is it?" She looked concerned. He wasn't surprised, he'd never in the years of their fantasy marriage been hesitant towards sleeping with her, in a way he was ashamed, he couldn't be anywhere near this close to her in reality so as soon as he had he close he would take every opportunity to sleep with her? How could he ever consider that right, even if they were married and had a daughter? Wasn't it still taking advantage of her?
"Nothing." He turned his head away and let go of her holding his hands in his lap feeling his cheeks blush in shame.
"You think I don't know when you're lying Charles Carson?" She pushed herself on her hands and swung her legs off the bed so she sat next to him, reaching over to place her tiny hand over both of his. "What is it?"
He sighed deeply. "Why are you here?"
"Because I'm your wife." She scoffed.
"You know what I mean, why are you here?" He spoke through gritted teeth, these dreams made him happy but there was a deep feeling of anger that lay beneath, often surfacing during the day and finding its way to an unsuspecting footman, he prayed however, he wouldn't take it out on her.
"Because you want me to be." She spoke softly, almost a whisper.
"But why is everything so vivid and real?"
She paused and looked down at their hands. "Because your love for her is so strong. Everything is concealed and moulded into one fantasy which you live out when you sleep."
"Will this, could this…ever happen?"
"I don't know." She whispered, it was so odd talking to her about the Elsie in reality, talking as if she was someone else when she wasn't, she was exactly the same as Elsie in every way except, she loved him.
"Why every night, why the same you, why the same life? Everything as it left off?"
"Because it's what you want Charles, you want this life. The mind is complicated but you want this badly enough for your mind to create a whole new world for you to live in."
"But it's so hard, to have you and all this here at night and then her during the day, so, different."
She removed her hand from his, straightening her back and looking straight ahead. He could tell he'd offended her, that was something both Elsie's did if they were hurt.
"I'm sorry it's just…"
"I'm not her." She finished for him, not facing him.
"It's not that I don't love you, or this life but…"
"I'm not her." She repeated her previous words and stood up walking to the window, her arms crossed around her body.
"Elsie…"
"Don't." She held up her hand to silence him. "Don't, call me that. I have no right to that name."
"You're still her" he tried to insist.
"No I'm not" she turned to face him, "I'm your imagination, I'm what you want her to be, but I'm not her, you created me so you could live the life you wanted, but I am not her. I am just a dream."
Her words stung his heart, she was just a dream, he knew it probably would never happen with Elsie in reality, they would never get this far, he had just created a fantasy world in his mind to try and live a dream.
"Elsie…" he was interrupted by a knock, he turned to the door but it was open, confused he looked back at Elsie who took a few steps towards him and knelt down in front of him.
"Go." She held his hand and let a few tears fall upon it, upon the wedding ring neither of them had any claim to. "Go to her. Tell her, this is not the way to cope with your love, it only hurts you. She needs to know."
He managed to take one last look at those blue eyes, glistening with tears, the smallest smile on her face as the familiar blackness filled the room obscuring her from his vision, but he managed to squeeze her hand before he felt it disappear entirely and he was lying in his bed, Daisy calling the time from the other side of his door.
'Go to her. Tell her, this is not the way to cope with your love, it only hurts you. She needs to know.'
And today she would.
I will hopefully update my other stories this weekend, I say that, knowing me I'll probably end up writing another chapter to this one. Please review though, I really appreciate them.
xXx