Chapter Three: A Matter of Appearance

Katniss stared at herself in the mirror. She did this sometimes, to examine her assets and point out her flaws. She supposed it wasn't healthy to do such a thing but she couldn't help it. Everytime she saw a mirror, she just did it. It was like a habit, or a mantra of some sort. It kind of made her a hypocrite as whenever Prim did the same thing, convinced that she was obese, Katniss would scold her harshly and tell her to stop being silly.

But then everyone is a little hypocritial sometimes, right?

The thing that irked Katniss the most was her skin. Added ontop of the unfortunate bout of teen acne that scattered her hairline and occasionally her nose, chin and cheeks, she also had a skin condition called Eczema. It poisoned her skin with dry, flaky patches and severely pink, irritated areas. Katniss loathed it, it made her look horrible. Who in their right mind would ever go for a girl covered in disgusting blemishes that couldn't even be covered up with make-up because it just made it worse? Short answer, no one.

Another thing she hated about herself was her hair. It took a lot of work to get it into her usual braid in the morning because it was so thick. Katniss could literally brush it for half an hour straight and would still find a huge knot underneath the mass of bushy hair.

Katniss turned from the mirror and continued the battle with her hair, combing it out into a decent form of straight and forcing it into the braid her mother taught her. She struggled into the frumpy green uniform and turned back to the mirror, recoiling in disgust at her reflection. The black tights and 'sensible' shoes made her legs look short and the jumper bagged around her stomach, making her look fatter than she already was.

Okay, so she wasn't severely fat. She had lost a lot of weight earlier in the year (when people asked her what her secret was she just answered with "I don't know" but the truth was she had become so focused on fanfiction that she had forgotten to snack as much as she usual did) but she did have a lot of puppy fat around her middle.

"Katniss, your dad's outside!"

"Coming!" Katniss quickly grabbed her school bag and blazer, jumping down the stairs two at a time while trying to avoid stepping on the mess that lay strewn on each step. She went to the door and stuck the key in, twisting it violently and throwing the door open. "See you later Mum!"

"See you at lunchtime!" Her mum replied.

"Bye!"

"Bye!"

Her dad always drove to the house to drop her and Prim off at school. Katniss wouldn't mind walking but they rarely got to see their dad now-a-days since he lived with his parents while he tried to find a house of his own. The drives to and from school were all they really had at the moment.

Once at school, Katniss waited outside for Madge. Madge lived in District 11 but got a bus into school every day in 12. Katniss would never understand why someone in 11 would choose to travel so far every day just to go to school but she wasn't going to complain, as she needed Madge to get through every day. At least 11 was right beside 12. Delly got a bus from 10 every day, which was even farther away.

Madge hurried through the gates with a smile on her face. "Guess what I've got!" she said.

"What?" asked Katniss, surprised by Madge's urgency. She watched her friend as she eagerly swung her backpack around to the front and yanked the zipper open. She then produced a large book which she promptly handed over to Katniss.

The Hunger Games Illustrated Movie Companion

"Oh my god, I hate you!" Katniss exclaimed, opening the book and flicking through the pages. How did Madge get her hands on this? Where were they selling? "Where did you get this?"

"I don't know, my parents bought me it," said Madge. "As an early christmas present, they said. Can you believe it?"

Katniss stroked the glossy pages in awe. Jealously began to stir in her gut and a loathing for Madge sparked inside of her. By 'illustrated' it didn't mean drawings. It meant real photographs from the set, pictures of the cast and crew with detailed descriptions on each and every aspect of the movie making process. It was basically a book version of the second disc of Katniss' two disc special edition of The Hunger Games movie.

She looked at Madge, trying to keep the hate she felt out of her gaze. "I'm defintely asking my mum for this for Christmas!" she said.

Madge grinned and took the book back. "You should, it's really cool."

They spent every chance they got that day pouring over the pages of the movie companion. Katniss wanted to bundle the book up and run away with it, maybe leaving a few dollars for Madge to buy another one on the table as she took off. Why couldn't her parents have found the movie companion and think it a good idea to get her it as an early Christmas present?

Delly joined them at lunchtime, unable to last too long before making sexual innuendos at inappropriate moments. Some of them actually made Katniss snicker, which instantly horrified her. Madge didn't buy into that sort of humour and pulled a face every time Delly said something of a sexual nature. Especially where it regarded Peeta.

Weirdly enough, in the companion, there weren't many pictures of Peeta. Katniss didn't understand why as, aside from Jennifer, he was the second lead. It made her a little mad and she wished for someone she could rant to about it. Maybe she'd let off some steam with Madge later about the whole unfairity and injustice of the photo choosing process.

The photo Katniss loved the most was a close up picture of Josh outside the bakery, supposedly looking out at Jennifer underneath the tree. Katniss adored this picture as it showed Peeta's true acting ability. Because she couldn't see Peeta, all she saw was Josh. It was the same with Jennifer Lawrence's ability as well. Because you couldn't see bits and pieces of herself seeping through, all you see is the character she's playing.

Katniss held Madge's hand down to stop her from turning the page so she could stare at her favourite picture for a moment without being disturbed.

It didn't last long.

"You can see his nipples through his shirt," Delly snickered.

"Seriously?!" Katniss exclaimed. "It was probably cold out there! I'm sure if you were out there and weren't wearing a bra yours would be poking through too." Madge turned the page over, breaking any further chance of looking at the gorgeous photo. Katniss' heart sank but she didn't say anything.

"No, wait, turn back, I wasn't done," said Delly, much more vocal about her interest than Katniss could ever be. Rolling her eyes, Madge turned back, letting Delly have her filthy fill.

Just then Leevy walked by the table. The thing about Leevy was that she wasn't very likable. However she was quite burly and could knock any of the people in the year out with a single punch so everyone played nice with her. Except Delly, who wasn't afraid of anything. Leevy and Delly were never on the same terms.

Leevy stopped at the table, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Smoking meth, what do you think we're doing?" Delly fired back.

Katniss exchanged a weary look with Madge, who simply shrugged in a 'what-are-you-gonna-do?' way. They directed their eyes to the companion, trying not to get involved with Delly and Leevy's affairs. However, it didn't last long.

Leevy pushed between Delly and Katniss and planted her hands on the table. "Who is that?" she demanded, pointing at the picture of Josh in the companion. Huh, she must have been the only person in the entire year to not hear the news about Katniss' crush. Even though she was but one person, Katniss couldn't help feeling a little relieved.

But for some reason, Leevy's voice had been filled with something Katniss didn't understand. She sounded almost . . . incredulous. Like Delly, Leevy had no filter and all she really thought about was boys and sex. She had been using a tone that was quite lustful. No, that wasn't right. That couldn't be right. People like Leevy couldn't admire true beauty even if it walked right up to her and smacked her across the face. Katniss' blood boiled in anger. She didn't like the thought of Leevy thinking dirty thoughts about Peeta in that way. Which was amazingly ludicris because Katniss knew that she did not own Peeta or the thought of him. She just couldn't help being annoyed by it.

Thankfully, Delly came to the rescue.

"None of your business, girlie. Now move along!"

Leevy rolled her eyes but flounced away anyways.

Delly muttered an obscenity under her breath before smiling sweetly at Madge. "You can turn the page now."

~xXx~

Madge let Katniss keep the Movie Companion over the Halloween holidays. Katniss swore to guard the book with her life and take great care of it. She also dropped many obvious hints to her mother later that day about how much she'd love one of her own. With Christmas fast approaching, hopefully her mum would be able to take the hint.

"You can see his nipples through the shirt."

Katniss looked at her sister incredulously. "Are you kidding me? That's exactly what Delly said! Are guys not allowed to have nipples or something?" she exclaimed.

Prim quirked an eyebrow and snickered. "Whoa, defensive much?" she asked.

Katniss didn't fully understand why they were sitting together in her room. It was so tiny that when herself and Prim sat in it together they took up at least a quarter of the available space. Why weren't they in Prim's room? It was huge!

Deciding that her sister would never be able to handle the legendary aspects of the Hunger Games, Katniss shut the Movie Companion and carefully slotted it into the keyboard compartment of her computer-less computer desk. Prim had been right though. She was getting defensive when there was no reason to be. It was just . . . everyone someone insulted the Hunger Games, if someone insulted him, she couldn't control how mad she got.

Later that night, Katniss found herself looking the mirror again. She hated how gawky she looked, even when not wearing her school uniform. Her eyes drifted from her reflection to an image of Peeta she had brought up on her computer screen. She started comparing herself him, trying to find the inkling of a possibility that they could end up together.

You're fourteen. He's twenty years old. Six years. Not a good sign.

He's from the Capitol, you're in 12. Possibility of ever meeting? Negatory.

He has dated two pretty girls in the past. Both beautiful, smart and famous. Damn it!

You're fat, acne ridden and diseased. He's . . . gorgeous.

He's perfect and you're not.

Katniss stopped. What the hell was she doing? She shook her head, trying to get the thoughts out of her head but they wouldn't go. She couldn't stop thinking about how all the odds seemed to be stacked against them. Wait, 'them'? There was no them. What was she thinking? He didn't even know she existed, let alone referred to her as a collective noun with him as if they were a couple.

Katniss groaned, absent-mindedly scratching her arm as she sat down on her bed. She felt very frustrated as she had no idea what was happening to her. Maybe if she knew what it was she could seek help before it was too late, before she was completely infected. Although it already seemed to be too late. She was so far along that, if she wanted to, she could call herself a Larker.

A fully fledged Larker.

She was stuck in the deep end. And there was no way out.

A/N: Big thank you to everyone who reviewed! Thank you for your continued support!

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P.S: I've made a cover for this story! To see the full image visit my photobucket account (the link to it is on my profile) :D