A/N: Oh my gosh guys, I'm so sorry for the late as Hell update! I usually try not to take longer than a week but a few things came up and I was REALLY stressed out... But now here it is, the next chapter. Oh, there is going to be slight sadism/masochism in this fic sorry for not warning sooner but I originally wasn't goin to do that... But it's BB and so I had the urge to do it. It does have a part in the plot, though, you'll see. It won't go too far, don't worry. Also, this chapter shows some of that in a little make out scene here. Not too much I don't think.. ... Maybe too much... Idk... Next chapter, yay! So please enjoy!
Disclaimer: This disclaimer goes for this chapter and all the chapters to come. I own nothing.
"Ryuzaki, are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes, Light-kun," I answered, sighing. "Now, please get back to work."
Why was Light-kun so worried lately? Was it all an act, perhaps? Before his confinement, he would not have acted so worried about me. If the theory about Kira's power moving from one person to another was correct, then it could be that Light-kun has simply changed. However, if he was in fact still Kira, he may be trying to get closer and earn L's trust by pretending to care about me. Then there is the possibility, which I refuse to accept, that Light-kun really wasn't Kira in the first place and may actually be concerned about my well-being seeing as how we are now "friends"...
I looked at Light-kun until he finaly gave up and went back to working on his computer. Since I had a "breakdown" last night as Light-kun was calling it, we were having a break from work for the day. The task force members offered to monitor us from the screens that are hooked up to the cameras but I told them not to as we are short handed already and they should not stop working when they are expected to work. Perhaps it was a bad excuse. I just did not want them watching me because they suddenly pitied me. I am L and I am perfectly capable of handling myself. Watari was only a phone call away if anything happened.
Light-kun insisted that he still work and originally I was going to work as we were both using laptops in our living room area on the coffee table. I was going to work, really, but as I looked at the screen on my laptop, I was continuing a game of online chess.
I will admit, whoever I was facing was quite impressive himself. He managed to avoid almost all of my traps, but I knew I would win. He overlooked one little thing, leaving himself open. Checkmate.
"Bastard!" I heard Light-kun call out.
"Something wrong, Light-kun?"
"Oh, it's nothing, Ryuzaki..."
I grinned. Of course... "Is Light-kun perhaps, a sore loser as one would call it?"
"What? No! I... Oh, that was you...?"
"Hn, indeed... Light-kun really needs to work on his defenses. A good offense means nothing if your defense is weak."
Light looked down at the screen looking rather embarrassed. I was getting hungry... Hmmm... I pulled out a cell phone from my pocket and dialed a number. On the second ring, I heard Watari answer with a, "Yes, Ryuzaki?" I checked the time on my laptop. It was already 12:30.
"Watari, could you please get us some lunch?"
"Of course, L. I will be right up."
"Thank you," I said before hanging up the phone and placing it next to my laptop. I played another game of chess with Light-kun before Watari came in with a cart containing all of my favorite sweets. I thanked him and he left. I offered Light-kun some sweets, but he quickly declined.
I started a new game of chess but with a different apponent. As I played, I ate some strawberry and chocolate flavored pocky. My apponent was much better than Light-kun. Whoever he was, he countered my every move. We had three stalemates and were nearing a fourth. I thought I finally had him but I foolishly overlooked one little thing and so he took my queen. Then it only took him two more moves to beat me.
"I win, L," I jumped a little as I heard the voice from behind me. I whipped around to see who it was, but saw no one. My heart was beating fast and I was suddenly panting. That was B right now, I knew it.
"Ryuzaki, are you alright?" Light said, getting my attention. I turned back around and looked at him. He seemed geniunely concerned.
"I am fine, Yagami-kun," I answered. "Just hungry."
I looked over at the cart of sweets and helped myself to some cheescake with extra sugar sprinkled on top. I considered making it sweeter, but decided against it.
How exactly did Beyond do that? Was it a trick? Perhaps he was no longer human.. Or perhaps it was all in my head. I thought back to last night... It had to be real. Those lips were real... His touch was real... No way was that a hallucination. And just now, well I wasn't sure... Suddenly, I wasn't so hungry anymore.
"Uhm, Ryuzaki?"
"Yes?" I said, not taking my eyes from the screen on my laptop.
"I... Well, I want to take a shower, now.." He seemed quite embarrased. I myself could not see what the problem was.
"Well then, by all means, take a shower, Light-kun," I said, biting my thumb nail.
"B.. but..."
"Light-kun, what is the problem? I never said that you were not permitted to bathe."
"Well, yeah, but... Ryuzaki I..." He seemed to be having troubles with speaking. He was blushing brightly and fidgeting in his seat. What was going on? Light never acted like this. "Ryuzaki, I'd like to bathe alone..."
Oh. That was perfectly understandable, I suppose.
"I am sorry, Light-kun, but I must accompany you at ALL times. No exceptions."
"But..."
"Light-kun, I am quite sure that you have been in a public bath at least once or at least showered amongst others around your age in gym class. This should be no different."
"I..." He looked defeated. Why was Light-kun shying away now of all times? It's not like there is much I have not seen what with the security cameras that were installed in his house in the past. Sure, that may seem "creepy" to some people, but it was necessary.
"Light-kun, why does this suddenly matter all of a sudden? We are both males, so it is not like you'll have anything that I have not already witnessed before. Surely you do not believe Miss Amane's accusations about me being a 'pervert'? Even if I were a 'pervert', I am not personaly interested in you in that way, so..." My voice trailed off as realization hit me. How was I not capable of seeing this sooner? He had obvious signs... No, I could not assume such things until it was confirmed.
"Light-kun, if it really matters that much to you, I will wait outside of the bathroom door as you bathe and dress yourself. This goes for any other needs in which you require the restroom. However, that is the only time these handcuffs shall be removed. Do I make myself clear?"
Light-kun nodded gratefully. Well, now things were a little more... Interesting.
...
As I waited for Light-kun outside of the bathroom door, I sat crouched down on the floor next to it. This was going to be a boring wait.
"There you are, L."
I almost jumped- almost- at the sound of Beyond's voice. However, I managed to sit there and appear as if I was expecting this to happen. Well, I really should have expected it but I didn't. I looked up at B and saw him smiling down at me. The grin was somewhat demented. His eyes were glowing red. How often did the colour change and why?
"Beyond... Why do your eyes do that?"
"Oh, the change in colour? You see, I have the eyes of a shinigami, Lawli-kun. Normally, people aren't supposed to be able to see this little detail. But, since I'm not like most humans, I can manipulate who sees them when I use them."
"What are they for? Why do you use them around me?"
"That is a explanation for a later day. How have you been, Lawli-chan?"
"Please do not call me that, Beyond." He only chuckled at me in response. "Why do you keep vanishing like that? I am starting to believe that you are simply a hallucination."
"Do not worry, I am not a hallucination. I just do not wish for 'Light-kun' to see me."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Beyond, why are you doing this to me? What purpose do you have here?"
He chuckled again. "Well, Lawli-kun, how rude." He walked over to where I was sitting and crouched down to my level. "Can't I just want to see you? It certaintly has been a long time since we 'made love'." I could feel my face getting warm and he only laughed at my reaction. "We haven't been very 'intimate' since you left me behind at Wammy's House. I miss you."
"Then why does it sound as if you are just mocking me?"
"Perhaps I am, Lawli. That does not mean I cannot be sincere at the same time. As I have stated before, I love you. I just show it a little differently than others."
"A little? That is it? You are a sadist, B. Your way of showing affection is hurting people."
"But you never protested in the past," he said, grinning even wider than before. "Oh, and L, I heard that you put my alias to good use. That Yagami kid called you Ryuzaki, did he not?"
I felt defeated. This was a game that I could never win.
"No answer, L?" he said, his nose only a few centimeters from mine. I could feel my face get hot and my heart beat faster in my chest. Beyond placed the palm of his right hand against my chest, letting his long pale fingers rest there. He chuckled again. "So, Lawliet, what are you feeling right now to produce such a heart beat? Could it be fear? Or perhaps love?"
I stayed completely still, not daring to answer. I looked into his red eyes. It was fear that I was feeling at the moment. Complete and utter fear. For a moment, his eyes were black again and they had real emotion in them. "Are you really afraid of me...?" he asked. I couldn't bring myself to answer. For that one moment, he was sad... And perhaps even lonely. This was how I saw Beyond the day I left Wammy's house. So sad... My fear left me, causing me to act on impulse. I pulled him into my arms.
It was an awkward hug to say the least, especially considering how we were sitting. But he actually held me back. With my arms holding him around the waist and his arms around my shoulders we sat ther for a while, just like that.
"... I am sorry, Beyond..." I could not help but say it. I did this to him and he knew it. This was my fault.
I pulled back a little, still holding on to him. I immediately remembered our time at the orphanage together where there were more moments like this and I was not afraid of losing him. Those were the days in which I was able to show emotion because I wasn't worried about attachment. And why would I be? I wasn't L yet.
I looked into B's eyes once again. They were still black... There was no anger or hatred or anything frightening that I would have seen had they been red again. He leaned in slowly and I could feel chills going down my spine. He kissed me gently at first, which was something I wasn't used to. Then he deepened the kiss and it got rougher. I kissed him back, not listening to what my instincts where telling me to do (which was probably around the lines of "stop it, dumb ass.")
We broke apart for a moment and we were both panting. We kissed once again and B slipped his tongue into my mouth, making me hold back a moan. Our tongues collided and danced inside my mouth. He still tasted like blood and jam, but oddly enough, I liked it.
B moved our bodies so that my back was no longer against the wall and pushed me down so that I was lying on the floor under him. He broke the kiss again, and pinned my wrists above my head with both hands while straddling my hips. I was still panting and feeling flushed. I just... wanted him to keep going...
B bent down and kept his mouth above my ear, making me shiver. "Say it," he whispered.
"Say... What...?"
"I want you to tell me that you love me, Lawli. Beg for more... Stop holding in your moans."
"...N-No..."
"Do it," he said, digging his nails into my wrists. I silently cursed myself for not making anyone monitor us on the screens. I moaned, knowing full well that it was wrong to do so when in pain. "Come on, Lawlipop. Do it, now." He pressed even harder, breaking the skin.
I moaned out again and said something that I never thought I'd hear myself say ever again after leaving Wammy's. "Beyond... I-i..."
"Come on, say it," he said, grinning. I could see a red tinge forming on the edges of his irises.
"I... l-love you, Beyond... Pl-eease... Do not stop..."
"Why of course, Lawliet."
This was humiliating. I gave in so easily... I lost so quickly... I was so weak... I hated myself for being so foolish.
Beyond went down to my neck. I expected him to bite it, but instead he trailed kisses up my neck and on my jaw line. Why was he being gentle all of a sudden? Then, as if knowing that I was thinking it, Beyond broke some of the skin on my wrists some more and even left scratches. I gasped. He kissed me roughly before licking the blood off my wrists and kissing me once more.
I was disgusting, I knew that much. But I could not stop the moans that were coming out in response to what he was doing.
He chuckled again and the kiss ended. "I love you too, Lawli." His eyes were red once again and he looked more frightening. "Goodbye, now. I'll come back for you in a week."
"Wha-"
And just like that, he was suddenly gone. I sat up in my usual position by the door if the bathroom once again and tried to control myself. I was able to hide any trace of emotion. I could have fooled Light-kun. And for a while, I did. But I knew that it was only a matter of time before he saw my wrists. And when that happened, he would no doubt think I was suicidal or depressed.
I couldn't tell him about B, of course. Nor could I make up some excuse as to how it wasn't me if I was around him 24/7. This was going to be a long week...
A/N: Okay, well I want your opinion on the little scene here. Let me know if I should make it less of a sadist/masochist thing here. This was sorta... more of an experiment at first and originally wasn't going to turn out like that. So again, let me know if I should tone it down a little... .-. Thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated.
Ja ne!