Chapter 2
Present day, February 2012
Edward's POV:
I sat with my head hanging low in hands. Every once in a while, I would hear the soft steps of someone entering the room, but wouldn't even bother to lift my head to see who it was. I could already tell who they were just by the way the sound of their footsteps. There was just one of two pair of footsteps that I wanted to hear. I was trying to be strong, but my heart was breaking. When I was not able to hear that heart beat on the monitor, or with the stethoscope, my life had already begun to feel like it was tumbling toward the fiery pits of hell. I was not sure what I would do if I lost Bella or the baby.
At first, I had been terrified at the idea of being a father. Between us having just met and gotten married and our jobs, how did a baby fit in? With a doctor's schedule and Bella deciding that she wanted to go back to school, starting all over with a degree in Creative Writing? Part of me felt like it was my fault, for not being as accepting to the idea at first and running away. As the months moved forward and the New Year emerged upon us, a new sense of joy began to rise up in the two of us. The love multiplied in a way that I had not known could be possible.
I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing, willing the tears to stay at bay. I had to be strong; for Bella, for the baby, for me. I lifted my head and rested it back against the wall, my eyes still closed.
"Oh, Dr. Masen, there you are," I groaned inwardly as I recognized the voice from the oncology department. "Your assistance is needed…"
I could hear Alice's small pitter patter of feet march over in front of me. "Now is not the time, get out!"
I cracked my eyes open just slightly to see the nurse look at me and then to Alice. "Dr. Masen, you have a patient waiting."
"I said get the hell out of here!" Alice said, this time her tone was almost scary. "Dr. Masen is dealing with his own emergency right now."
"Leave," I said quietly, looking the nurse in the eye. "And let the entire floor now I am officially taking a leave of absence until further notice."
I closed my eyes again and clinched my fists.
"How long does it take?" Rose's voice came out.
"They just wheeled her into the OR," Jasper walked over and took a seat next to me. "You know that Emmett and Carlisle will be doing everything in their power to keep them safe."
I nodded my head slowly and opened my eyes as I heard the door open again. I stood up immediately and ran to my best friend as he finished taking off his surgical scrubs. His expression was that of total sadness. I did not even need to hear what he was going to say. It was written all over his face.
Emmett's eyes bounced from each person in the room, before resting on me.
"Emmett?" I asked, my voice cracking.
He cast his eyes downward and I felt the room suddenly begin to spin. I could feel both of Rosalie's and Alice's hands on my shoulders, Jasper was standing behind me. I think they were all putting up an invisible wall to catch me when I fell.
Emmett took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "The umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck. We moved as quickly and worked as hard as we could. But I am so sorry, Edward…"
It was my turn to take a breath. "And Bella?"
Emmett let a small smile grow on his lips. "Bella is fine. She will be in here shortly. There was minimal bleeding, her uterus is fully intact. She will be able to have more children. When she is ready."
Emmett turned to leave, but I had one question that was playing on my mind. "Emmett, was it a…?"
He knew what I was asking without having to finish the sentence. "A boy. Carlisle will be in shortly with Bella to go over everything in more detail. I will be back in a few moments."
"Alice and Rose, can the two of you go do something for me at home? I want everything that is even remotely related to the baby packed up and cleared out of the house," I said, walking over to the window to look out as the snow began to fall over the city.
"Edward," Alice stepped behind and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Do you really think that is a good idea? Bella is going to need to see those things, to help her grieve."
"Just do it," I said as anger began to brew. "I do not want Bella having to hurt any more than she already is."
They say that time heals all, that you eventually forget. But as I stood looking out at the fresh layer of fallen snow, I couldn't help but wonder how time heals you when you lose a child. I was not sure even how much time had passed while I stood there looking out the window. Not even sure whether or not everyone had left. I turned, though, when I heard the door open and saw Carlisle following behind the orderly, pushing Bella into her room. My heart sank as I saw her. It looked like the life had been sucked out of her. I walked over and closed the gap between us in a matter of seconds and took her cold, clammy hand in mine, bending over and giving her a small kiss on her forehead.
"I love you," I whispered.
Bella's eyes began to well up. She knew. It was instinct.
"I am so sorry, Edward."
"Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry for. We can have more children. You are young and healthy."
I caught the tear that came from Bella's eye with my pinky and then turned my attention back to Carlisle.
"Edward is right, Bella; you will have plenty of opportunity to have more children. Emmett did a marvelous job. I am just sorry that we did not catch this sooner."
"What happened exactly?" I asked, wanting as much detail as I could get.
"When I checked her, she was about three centimeters. The head was still pretty high up. He must have shifted or rotated right after that to wrap the cord around his neck; hence, stopping his heart beat. Her fever baffles me, though; not sure if it was the body's way of reacting with the change or what. I did send a full blood work up down to the lab, just to make sure nothing else is going on. Give yourself at least six months and you are more than welcome to start trying again."
Carlisle went to the door and gave us one last look before exiting. Bella remained quiet, her eyes just drifting to the window.
"Where is everyone?" she asked, finally breaking the silence.
"I sent them home; I wanted them to get rid of everything."
She nodded her head as if to understand, but the tears were now flowing freely. I walked over to her and crawled into bed, her body molding with mine, just like the first time that I had held her in my arms on the cruise ship nearly a year earlier. I began to hum a lullaby that I had composed for her a few weeks after finding out that she was pregnant. I had actually been planning on going into a studio to have it recorded, thinking the recording would have been a good idea to help with any sleeping problems. I had noticed early on, when the baby had first started to kick, that the lullaby seemed to sooth him and Bella. But, as I lied there next to Bella, holding her close, I realized that was an idea that would not happen, or at least not right now.
"Will the hole in my heart ever go away?" Bella whispered.
I nodded my head in her hair. "In time. But there will always be a special place for him."
The hours turned into days and eventually, after having full clearance to be discharged, Bella was itching to get home. I was grateful that our friends were planning on sticking around for a few weeks. I knew that Bella would need her friends. This was another loss that she had to add to her long list.
I opened the door to the penthouse and was relieved that Alice and Rose had done as I asked and everything was put away. Well, almost everything.
Rose's POV:
"I still think this is wrong," I heard Alice say as she had just finished packing up the last of the baby gear.
Alice and I had come into town to surprise Bella for the baby shower that Angela was planning. Both of us had been excited about the new addition to the family, but now, here we were packing up everything that even resembled a baby and putting it all in boxes. We decided to return the items that could be taken back to the stores and everything else was going to be given to the local women's shelter. Part of me understood Edward's reasons behind it, but I also had to agree with Alice, Bella was going to need some kind of closure.
I looked into all the rooms one final time, making sure that we had gathered everything up. Edward had called a short while earlier to say that Bella was being discharged today and that we were to have everything out. Jasper and Emmett had already taken a couple of boxes down to the shelter, while I had the front desk ask to have someone come and return the other items.
"I think you missed something," Macy said, walking from the living room holding a small frame. "I am just not sure what you think we need to do with it."
I held my hand out toward her and she gave me the frame. Alice walked over to me and looked at the small black and white photo. She brought her hands up to her mouth and began to shake her head.
"We can't throw it away," Alice said softly and I nodded my agreement.
I placed the ultrasound picture back up on the mantel between the wedding pictures of all of us. He was just as much a part of the family now as he was then.
"Do you think Aunt Bella will be alright?" Macy asked from behind me.
I just nodded my head. "In time. All we can do is just be there for her."
The door opened and I looked over to see Emmett and Jasper walking back in from taking the last load to the shelter. They looked beyond exhausted, not physically but emotionally. We all were.
"I just spoke to Edward," Emmett said, coming over to give me hug. I collapsed into his broad chest. My heart was in pain. I reached behind and pulled Macy closer to us. Together, the three of us just held each other. I knew that Jasper was doing the same thing with Alice.
"How much longer until they're here?" Alice asked with a small hiccup of a sob.
"They're on their way now," Jasper answered. "You all do not need to be strong for her. You are allowed to hurt, just as much as she is."
Alice and I nodded our heads. He was right; we had been trying to be strong. I just did not know how long the wall would stay up.
"Jasper, I am not sure if I want to go back to California this weekend like we had planned," Alice said as I thought of my flight leaving for Germany in just a couple of days. "I really think that we should stay at least another week."
I looked over to Emmett with the same question in my eyes. I knew that I would not have a problem with my job, but I was not sure about his, then there was Macy's school that was on break this week.
"We can stay as long as you want," Emmett breathed into my hair and I relaxed, knowing that I was not going to be under any time restraints.
Just then the door opened and Edward was helping Bella into the penthouse. She looked so broken, so lost. I had to bit my lip to keep the tears back. She had had that same look in her eyes after finding out that her parents had died in the car accident a few years ago and when Alice and I had found her on the Lido Deck nine months ago, the night she had told Edward of her troubled past.
Like then, Alice and I only knew of one thing that we could do. The two of us walked slowly toward her and wrapped her frail body in our arms. We supported all of her weight as she hung and clawed at us for dear life. And together we cried. We cried for our loss. It might have been Bella's baby, but really, it was all of ours. We were best friends, we always cried together.
The three of us just fell to the floor in a heap. Our arms entangled together, trying to take the pain away from her. After several moments, Bella pulled away and wiped her tears from her cheeks as she looked up to us.
"Thank you," she whispered. "I haven't cried since that…"
Bella didn't need to finish her thoughts; we all knew what day she was referring to.
"You can cry as much as you need to, it's good for the soul," Alice said, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "We are not going anywhere either. We are your best friends and we stick together through the worst of times and the best of times."
Bella managed a small smile. "And we sure have been through the worst, haven't we?'
"What hasn't killed us just made us stronger!" Alice said triumphantly.
And so it did. We became stronger that night, while sitting together and just being friends. We talked into the early morning hours; reminiscing. It felt good to girl talk; something that we hadn't had much of a chance to do since coming back from Florida. Our lives had moved as if we had hit the fast forward button on the DVD player.
Alice and Jasper leaving almost immediately and then Emmett, Macy and I had left a week after finding out Bella was pregnant. Of course, we had kept in touch and watched the webcam daily for Bella's progress, but this was different, the closeness, the warmth, the touch. This is what we really missed.
Bella sat in the middle of the sofa with Alice on her right and me on her left. We just put our heads together and looked out over the New York skyline. We had not said anything in close to an hour and I was not even sure if the guys were still up, but I knew that Macy was already in bed.
"Thank you," Bella said quietly. "Thank you for just being here and sitting with me. It means a lot."
"Oh, Bella, we would not have been anywhere else," I said, running my fingers through her long hair. "And we are not leaving anytime soon either."
Bella looked up at the two of us, her eyes were big. "The two of you have own lives, you can't stay here indefinitely."
"We won't," Alice said. "Just for the week…or until you are ready to kick us out."
Bella smiled. "I will never kick the two of you out. Besides, this is your house, Rose; you should be the one kicking us out."
I wrinkled my nose and then let out a yawn. "Never."
I looked up to the wall clock and saw that it was already four in the morning and Alice noticed it as well. She stood up, reaching her hands up over her head.
"I am going to hit the hay," she said, walking toward to her and Jasper's room. "I will see you two in the morning."
I nodded and stood up, reaching down to take Bella's hands. She placed them in mine and I walked with her until our rooms split. I gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek.
"Goodnight, Bells," I whispered.
She opened her door and walked in, closing it softly behind her. I entered my room and made my way to the bed, making out Emmett's large shape on the bed. I curled in next to him and rested my head on his chest. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer as he kissed the top of my head.
"How is she?" Emmett whispered.
"She's okay on the outside, but she is broken on the inside."
"Bella's strong; she's been through a lot."
I nodded my head. "I know, but how much does one person have to go through? How long do you think they will wait?"
"Edward wants to wait a couple of years; to let Bella heal physically and emotionally."
I nodded. It made sense and I would help my friend in any way possible in the meantime. My eyes drifted closed as a restless night of sleep tried to overtake me. Emmett's arms wrapped tightly, protectively around me. I felt like I had just fallen asleep when I was jostled awake by an ear piercing scream. I sat straight up in bed, with Emmett mimicking my pose.
"Bella," I whispered throwing the covers off of me and racing to the door and across the hall into Edward and Bella's room. Alice and Jasper were right behind us, nearly smacking into our backs.
I walked over to Bella and placed my hand on her arm, her eyes shot up to me and she tried to climb closer to me. I sat down on the bed and pulled her close.
"Jasper," Edward looked over to him standing in the door. "Can you get her something so she can get some sleep?"
Jasper nodded and then left, returning quickly with a glass of water and a couple of pills. Alice crawled into bed next to me and together, the three of us tried to soothe her down. After a few minutes, Bella was calming down and eventually seemed to be falling back to sleep. I slid out from under her body and walked over to Edward, giving his arm a tight squeeze as he placed his hand over mine. He followed us all out of the room and into the living room.
"It has been four days already," Edward said. "How long will her heartache last?"
"Edward, you know perfectly well that she is grieving. Her mind is doing what it has to." Jasper said from the sofa.
"But there has to be something we can do," Edward said, getting up to walk back to the bedroom. "Something to jumpstart her, to make her want to live again."
"Maybe there is," Alice said slowly as her eyes began to twinkle and sparkle.
"I don't think shopping is going to be the answer, hon," Jasper said, rubbing his wife shoulders.
Alice huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "That was not what I was thinking, even though that would be a good idea. I have something else in mind."
"What?" I asked.
Alice shook her head. "Nope! Let me make some phone calls later. Right now, we all need sleep."
For the second time that night, we all went our separate ways and this time, I fell into a great, relaxing sleep. Not sure if it was out of sheer exhaustion or the fact that Alice may have a plan to make Bella see that her life must go on.
A/N: Okay, before you all start flaming, yelling and threaten not to read anymore; I have my reasons!! There is a reason for this, I have never let many of you down and I promise I won't do it now! Hang in there and I promise that Bella and Edward will get their chance of happiness, they deserve it! And because I love all of you so much and so grateful for all the reviews so far, which I have been responding to, yea me! With any luck your next chapter will be up by tonight! Happy Memorial Day and remember all of those that are fighting for our freedom! Now, go tell me what you really think about this chapter!