The Kitsune with A Mouth
Naruto and all related characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Deadpool and all related characters belong to Marvel Comics
Sasuke, Sakura, Zabuza, and Haku awoke in a darkly lit warehouse. All four were duct-taped, chained, and from the stickiness they felt on their backs were also glued to the chairs as well. Upon further inspection all four discovered they had their hands glued together as well. They also had their mouths tapped shut and apparently had what felt like a pair of socks that hadn't been washed for three months. Suddenly the lights of the warehouse were turned on, blinding them for a moment, before they saw a blond haired boy with black ovals painted around his eyes in a red and black attire sitting on a stool five feet away from them. He also had Zabuza's sword on his back and a guitar in his hands. Memories all came flooding back to them as they remembered encountering the blond's team. Zabuza and Haku had been hired to kill a bridge builder and encountered a team of Konoha ninja, this boy being among them. After that the rest was a blur of red.
"Hello, boys and girls" The blond said pleasantly as he tuned the guitar.
"I'm your old pal Naruto Uzumaki, but you can call me Deadpool." Naruto said idly as Zabuza and Haku turned their heads to look at each other, then to Sasuke and Sakura, completely lost as to what was going on. The Konoha-nin just shrugged, just as lost as their fellow hostages were.
"I was gonna kill ya, but you both look like you're good people. So I just killed your employer and took all the money, no need to thank me." Naruto said as both Kiri-nin glared daggers at him.
"Ah, don't worry I made sure the midget went extremely painfully. I finally got to use that waffle iron trick I wanted to use on my dickhead of an Uchiha teammate, but since that would've killed him and the penalty for killing a teammate without just cause is life I had to settle for short-stuff." The blond said as Zabuza and Haku were really wishing he had just killed them since they were now more scared of his insane rambling and the possibilities of what he'd do instead, while Sasuke and Sakure glared at the "dickhead" insult.
"As for my dear teammates, I don't think we've fully bonded as a team. And what better way to bond than with a sing-a-long?"
At this point the no one was sure whether to be scared or annoyed or both.
"This is a song about a whale. NO! This is a song about being happy!" Naruto began as he strummed the guitar a few times.
"That's right, it's the happy, happy, joy, joy, song! Sing along!
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy, joy!"
Naruto sang as he danced around happily, strumming his guitar in a repetitive tune, before stopping abruptly.
"I don't think you're happy enough." Naruto said as he walked up and looked Haku right in the eyes.
"That's right, I'll teach you to be happy." The red clad genin said as he swapped his gaze to Zabuza.
"I'll teach your grandmothers to suck eggs!" Naruto exclaimed as he walked back over to his stool and sat down again.
"Now, boys and girls, let's try it again." The insane genin said in an annoyed tone as he began to sing once again.
"Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy, joy!"
Suddenly Naruto got up and ran over to Sasuke, knocking him over and jumping harshly down onto his chest, crouching down and looking him directly in the eyes.
"IF'N YOU AIN'T THE GRANDDADDY OF ALL LIARS!" He yelled right in the Uchiha's face as he then jumped off and sat Sasuke back up. He made a Shadow Clone to continue playing the guitar as he rubbed his hands together.
"Think of the little critters of nature. They don't know that they're ugly. That's very funny, a fly marrying a bumblebee." The original Naruto said happily as he turned and walked back to his stool. Suddenly he turned and pulled out a crossbow then shot it at Sasuke's shoulder.
"I told you I'd shoot, but you didn't believe me!" Naruto exclaimed as he ran over to Sasuke.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!" The red clad blond yelled hysterically as he shook Sasuke violently. Suddenly he stopped and made twenty more Shadow Clones who all began to sing.
"Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
Happy, happy, joy, joy
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!"
And the grand finish came when Naruto dispelled the clones and leaped in front of his captives before finishing in a loud and off-key tone
"Happy, happy, joy, joy, jooooooooooooooooooooy!"
Naruto then whacked his guitar across Sakura and Sasuke's heads, knocking them both over and out, and smashing it to pieces.
"THANK YOU NAMI NO KUNI, GOODNIGHT!" The manic blond yelled as he then disappeared in a puff of red smoke. While still trapped, the two conscious hostages both thought the same thing.
'What the hell was that?'