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Observe the disclaimer:

NOT MINE, I'm sure you, the readers, knew this but I though for the sake of saving my legal behind I'd make it abundantly clear.

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Alex poked her head out of the door. She'd finished with the privy, after spending several minutes shuddering at the look of it. Obviously it was almost as hygienic as it could be in whatever time she'd been thrown into. Jack was no where to be found and her knives and such were exactly where'd she'd left them, though it did look like he'd rattled the box again, in truth she was surprised he hadn't tried to open it so he could take off with anything shiny.

Obviously the great Captain had finally found some Captain-y come Pirate-y things to do and stop trying to seduce her, not that it wasn't fun with those liquid brown eyes, that half a grin and… no! Alex growled at herself, she couldn't be thinking like this. Even is she was married to the man she wasn't going to simply jump into bed with him because he was yummy and good looking and sex in a pirate costume and the beads and she really had to stop thinking like this.

"Alexandra, you're an idiot." She scolded herself trying to keep her mind away from those thoughts, though from what she remembered from his bare back with its tanned skin and rippling muscles. "Stop it now!"

Thankfully her mind obeyed her this time. All thoughts of Jack had disappeared and she decided to take time to reflect of her situation.She had been thrown back in time, after listening to her ex-boyfriend's message. Extremely Spooky Evidence Number One, he'd obviously found her someone totally oversexed in the past and decided to dump her on them, thanks a lot.She'd been half duped into marrying the drunken sod because she thought she was dreaming. Extremely Annoying Evidence Number Two, or would that be number one? Alex shrugged, why did she feel the need to examine everything and number it away? Calm collected Veneer, she though, let's just blame it on the veneer.

There was a knock at the other side of the door.

"Yeah," Alex replied waiting for undoubtedly another piratical male to come and annoy her, maybe this time he has alcohol.

"M'name 's Tom, ma'am. Tom Brown, the Captain…" The boy looked nervous, undoubtedly Alex thought not too many Pirate Captains were married and if they were they probably didn't cart their wives around with them. Probably much harder to rape, pillage and plunder that way.

"Yes… the Captain, Mister Brown," he fidgeted with a dirty rang he held clutched tightly in both hands and taking a breath steadied himself.

"Thecaptainwantedtoknowifyou'dlikemetoshowyouroundtheshipmissusma'amsir."

Alex stared at him, overly amused but tried to conceal her smile,

"Could you say that again please, Mister Brown a bit slower this time?"

He nodded and took another deep breath, the poor cloth in his hands being twisted and scrunched as a result of his anxiety.

"The Captain wanted to know if you'd like me to show you 'round the ship, ma'am."

Alex nodded and giving herself a quick once over. Her 'new' pirate clothes in place she figured she was about as ready as she ever could be. With a gesture she followed the boy out and on deck.

The deck of the 'Black Pearl' was a buzz with activity, there was a breeze on the air and there were several men aloft in amongst the sails and masts moving ropes and tying off this and that. She could hear voices down in the mess hall and of course at the Helm stood Jack. He seemed to have a strong glint in his eyes, not necessarily stern but commanding, there was something about his character that almost demanded some sort of rank or title and obviously being a Pirate Captain suited his sense of debauchery. Besides with that flounce that she could only surmise was his normal walk wouldn't really fit in well with a Port Governor or a gentleman of standing.

"This 's the deck ma'am an' up there 's the Poop Deck, where the Cap'n is." Tom rattled off small bits of information; Alex nodded trying to keep track of things she knew she'd need to remember later on but knew she'd be asking someone again in the near future. Tom stood close to her, his skinny and leanly muscled frame was constantly moving and he seemed unable to hold still, he would trace patterns with his fingertips on the wood, run his scraggily nails along ropes or just twist that piece of tattered cloth between his two hands as if ringing it dry.

"Could we see the Mess, Mister Brown, I'm a bit hungry."

Tom nodded giving her a sort of half bow as she did and just before they stepped down Alex turned to see Jack staring at her, she gave him a small nod and turned to follow Tom.

"This, is not food." Alex stated as she starred into her bowl of brown 'stew', it was gunk. Tom sat beside her a small bowl in front of himself, he seemed to be wolfing it down, happy with the taste of it. "It's the Cook's best stew."

She shook her head, "it isn't the cook's best anything, this is the best imitation mush I've seen in a while. Who is the cook?"

Tom paused form eating briefly to think, "Danny 's his name, he's up on deck helpin' the captain, only cooks in the mornin's."

Alex nodded and pushed her bowl aside in front of Tom. "Eat it Tom, you need to get more meat on your bones, than I do. Who knows," She said pausing briefly, "If I stop eating maybe the Captain will lose interest in the more fleshy part of my body." He didn't pause to thank her.

She moved up and poked her head into the Galley and held back a shriek, it was dirty and disgusting, oh, if only her mother could see that. Turning slowly around to glance at Tom, she simply shook her head. She wasn't going to stand eating the gunk they called food, and if she wasn't, then neither were the crew. It looked like to Tom was fast becoming the best candidate for her own a scullery maid.

"Tom," She called as she stood in the doorway from the Galley to the Mess.

"Aye ma'am?" He replied getting up and walking over, his form hunched a little when he spied the look in her eye, he knew what it meant, work.

"These dishes and benches, I want them clean."

Alex walked up and out of the Galley before he could respond.

"Oi! Which one of you is Danny?" Alex stood up on deck and yelled to the silhouettes she could see aloft in the sails.

"I am," A voice replied, she turned to see a short heavily muscled man on his way down from the ropes.

"You're cooking is terrible." He nodded and shrugged. "And…"

She grinned and shrugged back, well that part was easy.

"Congratulations, you're no longer the cook, but can you fish?"

He nodded and Alex just knew everyone thought she was mad. In fact Alex found herself agreeing with her, which was rather disconcerting. Her mind was just running too fast for her to catch up.

"Good, catch me a dozen edible fish."

By the time Alex had finished ordering Danny to the fishing pole and conducted her own search of the lower holds, she'd found several exotic spices she knew she could use in cooking, Jack had found himself waiting for her in the Galley as his former Cabin Boy, Tom hurried about washing and scrubbing and swabbing the floor.

"Brilliant!" Alex almost sang as she walked into the room several boxes in her arms.

"That's me booty!" Jack protested at once, he knew they were from the holds, spices or some such things that he could sell at any port and make a very tidy profit.

Alex shook her head as she set the boxes down on a clean bench.

"Actually they're my cooking supplies. Everything that's yours is mine now." She shot him a cheeky grin and bushing a few stray hairs back from her face looked at the Galley.

"Nicely done, Tom, now could you go and see how Danny's doing? I need those fish."

Jack watched the boy run off and stared at her confusion clearly marked on his face.

"What are y' doin'?" His hands accentuated the question and he gestured about the place.

"I'm going to make your crew an edible dish. I'm not a sailor or a buccaneer, I'm a butcher and a cook, so that's what I'll do. I mean, what else can I do about here?"

Jack's face fell into an easy smile and he gave her body a once over.

"Don't even think that." She warned picking up a wooden spoon that lay on the table close to her.

"I may be a resident in your bed but it's for one reason, sleep. Any activity, apart from the aforementioned reason, that takes place in that bed will be with a partner outside this marriage. Sleep with a cheap whore for all I care, Jack. I'm not giving you my body. Just because we were both duped into a marriage ceremony where you were too drunk and I was too 'starry-eyed' to stop it."

Alex finished her speech by leaning back on the bench with a no nonsense look on her face while Jack seemed to remain unmoveable, a vague smile still on his lips. It seemed almost destined that at that moment the ship pitched and she was thrown into him.

"Blasted ship!" She growled as she fought to steady herself, trying to ignore, at least for the moment that her body was flush up against his.

"Knew ye couldn't fight it, luv." He purred into her ear and wrapped his arms around her lower back. Alex let out a sigh and whacked him, the wooden spoon firmly in her grasp.

"Oh, let go of me you rum soaked idiot! Get back up on deck, steer the ship, make your pirates catch me fish, I don't care, get out of my way."

Jack chuckled at her and letting her go he walked back up on deck.

"And tell that lazy eyed pirate, Danny, to clean those fish before he gives them to me!"

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For any of the old readers who are were waiting for an update, behold for I have reappeared!

For the new readers, welcome, join the club, we have jackets.

Apologies for not updating, pure laziness on my part. Everyone knows that reviews equal faster updates and I was sorely lacking in that department. Yes I do realise that I posted this after CBP was released and there is now the addition of DMC so I hope I can make some details ambiguous enough to be able to still have it reasonably canon.

That it from me, please review it's what keeps me going. Oh and a big thanks to soaringphoenix86 whose review after a large hiatus away from got me back into the game. Enjoy. CC