No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

"Meet your new brother, Roxas."

Have you ever had one of those 'what the fuck?" moments where you just pull on a smile and pretend everything is alright when it so obviously is not. Well, this was one of those moments for me.

"Hi Sora." I said weakly, giving him the once-over. Obviously my fascination with him hadn't disappeared yet despite my obvious predicament. I could just see the headlines now "Local troublemaker rapes young preacher's son!" Yeah…the story of my life.

"Can I…uh…go to my room?" I asked uncomfortably, avoiding Sora's eyes, I just needed to breath. Surely he'd heard awful things about me, why on Earth would a guy like that be interested in me?

Then that pang happened again…

Where did I know him from?

Keith stared at me for a moment then faked a grin, "Sure Roxas go on upstairs." I sighed, I'd definitely get a lecture for this later. Right as I was passing I made the mistake of looking up into those gorgeous eyes of Sora's and instantly I was glued to the spot. He was blushing, I could tell, but still I didn't look away. What was it…was that emotion that went through those eyes…how on earth was I sooo stuck?

'Roxas…'

The voice was soft and childlike making my heart brake a little. I was hearing things again. I tore my eyes away and ran up the stars, dropping my skateboard on my floor and laying back on my bed.

Why had that been so familiar…?

I closed my eyes shut against everything and lay there, trying to imagine myself in nothingness. As I did so, I felt something…worry…excitement…fascination…what the hell?

I sat up and shook my head. It was a long day, maybe I just needed to rest.

"And this is our Roxas' room." I heard Martha say and I rolled my eyes. There goes naptime. The door opened as she gently prodded Sora into my room with a smile. "How about you and Roxas get to know each other a bit more?" She suggested but it sounded more like "Give the adults a little fucking time alone teenage bastards."

I gestured for him to sit down and she walked away looking victorious.

Bitch.

"So…uh…how's your stay at the Island going so far?" I asked casually, keeping my eyes on anything but those eyes. Those were some seriously strong eyes, they locked on you and refused to let go.
"G-g-g-good. Thanks." He said, staring at his toes. Damn, I didn't even look in his eyes I was pulled in by that adorable innocence. I bet he hadn't done half the things I'd ever done…

"No problem. So…you want some pizza?" I asked suddenly, the idea popping into my head.

"Sure, sounds good." He said sweetly with a cute little smile on his face.

"You like saying 'good' a lot." I pointed out with a smirk, jumping off my bed and pulling him behind me to the window. "Anyways, I know a place to get some great pizza." I said and pulled up the window, making my way onto the tree that was next to it. Sora stared at it uneasily.

"Don't worry, Sora. I've done this a million times." I reassured him with a little smile. He started climbing down and right when he was about to make it across the outreached branch, his hand slipped.

Not again!

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

I blanched at the strange thought, my heart leapt to my throat, and I was suddenly running to catch the fallen boy. I caught him just in time, and I grinned at him. "Are we going to make this a habit?" I asked him slyly as I sat him down.

"You can count on that." He said back flirtatiously, and I blushed but turned my head so he couldn't see. "Alright, I will." I said back in my bad-ass voice. Hell yeah.

I took his hand, my stomach doing little flip flops, and led him down the street to the place where I worked.

"Hey Maurice!" I said to the cashier, he smiled and waved. "Ello Roxas!" He said, rolling the "R."

"How many?" He asked with a smile, looking between Sora and I. "Just one" I answered back handing him a five. "No, no, no it on the 'ouse." He said with a twinkle in his eyes. "Is 'dis your friend?" He asked slyly and I blushed. "Sorry, didn't mean to be rude, this is my new brother Sora." I said, biting my tongue on the word 'brother.'

Damn, I was crushing on my new brother…

This is sooooo wrong…

"Nice to meet you." Sora said with the cutest smile on his face. "Any friend of Roxas is a friend of mine." Maurice said kindly, going around the counter to give him a nice hug. It was nice to see how good my boss could be to me. He really was a great man.

After we got our pizza, we ate there and chatted comfortably about school stuff, then headed back home. I helped him back up to my bedroom this time, making sure he wouldn't fall again.

"That's your bed." I pointed to the one across the room. "Sorry if I wake you up in the middle of the night." I said nonchalantly, trying to be casual about it.

I sat down on my bed and started on my homework, every once in a while I'd look up and watch Sora doing the same thing. Although, he unpacked his things as well.

He only went downstairs to say goodbye to his parents, then he was back studying right across from me.

You know that expression "So close yet so far away…" that's how I felt. He was so close, I could walk over and push that stray hair out of his face but here I sat trying my best to concentrate on my work.

I finally finished, and I turned to Sora. He was already done, so he must be pretty smart. That's another good quality; did he have any bad ones? I mean, seriously?!

"Ummm…I'm gonna go take a shower, if you don't know where that is just ask me and I'll show you." I told him but he smiled kindly, opening a book to read, "Thanks Roxas, but your mom showed me where it's at." He told me.

I nodded and headed to the shower, I took a quick one, I didn't wanna use all the hot water and went back to my room to pull on a pair boxers. Sora was sprawled across his bed, obviously lost in the book. I got under the covers, and watched him until my eyelids got heavy and I fell into sleep.

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like I do, and I blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

"Momma!" I called grabbing onto the shadowy woman's hand as we ran through the streets, ducking into backyards, avoiding any people. All I could hear was her ragged breathing and all I could see were the many colors passing us by. My chest ached and tears clouded my eyes.

"Momma where's ____?" I asked horrified, looking around. But still we ran, and the more we ran the slower we got. "Momma, it hurts. Please can we-" "Shut up, Roxas!" She hissed, her voice clouded by choked sobs.

I stopped running, tripping over my feet and falling to my knees. "Momma, wait!" I said, trying hard not to cry. "Roxas…not you…hunny, get up!" She cried, running back and pulling me to her chest.

"B-but…I need him, Mommy! I need ____!" I said softly, as she ran with me in her arms. I kept looking back, my eyes searching for a person that I could never find.

Suddenly everything began to change, I heard a woman scream along with gunfire and I was sucked into a dark place.

"Hello?" I asked unsurely, my young pre-teen hands, groping for anything in this darkened place.

"Welcome back, Roxas." A hoarse voice said softly, and I turned around and stared at my reflection. "Surely by now, you'll just let me free. Take out your wrath on those damned people…" He said angrily, and I jerked away, my body growing stronger and suddenly I was myself again.

"Where's___?" I asked the mirror, and it only laughed. "Why Roxy, he's dead. Don't you remember?"

"No…he isn't. I-I…I don't believe you." I said back feeling unsure. Why was this happening?

"Roxy…you let him die. He trusted you, and your mother took you and not him. She chose you and you just let him die! You wicked beast, and you think I'm the bad one." It said smugly.

I sat down on the cold, dark, damp floor and covered my ears. "Get. Out. Of. My. Head." I said angrily, tears falling down my face.

It's laughter echoed the walls along with my horrified screams…

"Roxas, wake up!"

"Roxas!"

"Roxas…it's okay…wake up…"

His voice was so soft and reassuring my wandering eyes opened, looking up into his conflicted ones. "Sorry." I mumbled first.

"I was already awake." He reassured but he looked really sleepy to have already been awake. "You okay?" He asked next and I nodded.

I'd had that dream since before I could remember, I had no idea why or how but it always haunted me.

Before I could say anything else I was suddenly overwhelmed by feelings of worry…concern…weariness…and something else I couldn't identify.

"Sora, you should go to sleep. I'm fine." I told him, trying to convince us both.

No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

"Roxas…" He started but then stopped himself, seeming unsure of what he wanted to say. "Yeah, okay. I'll go to bed." He said softly, getting up away from my bed to walk over and crawl under his own covers.

It wasn't until I felt the chill on my hand that I noticed the absence of his own and the warmth it had given me.

"Good night, Sora." I said softly, turning to stare at the wall away from him.

"Good night, Roxas." He said back and I felt so much better knowing there was someone there that genuinely cared about how I felt.

The next morning, he didn't ask about why I'd screamed or anything and that made me feel a lot better. We headed to school, but I left him to go to Axel just as he left me to go to idiots who thought they were cool.

I guess we were kind of different…

"Hey, fire crotch." I said with a smirk at my best friend who was practically drooling on himself over Kairi. "Hey man. Dude, Kairi's boobs are practically hanging out of that shirt. Awwww….I wanna bang her so bad." He said, knocking me into reality.

So, everything was still exactly the same only now there was Sora.

My damned brother.

"Axel, you won't believe what happened yesterday…" I said just as the bell rang to go to class.

"Tell me at lunch." He said with a smirk, and we walked to our classes.

I guess…nothing has really changed…

So how come I felt like everything was different?

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.