Family Guy
Episode 3: A Christmas Carol
[Jacob and Brian sleep in the same bed][Jacob sits up on the bed] (Ear twitches)[Jacob stretches and yawns][He looks over and smiles][Brian was curled up in a ball with a faint smile and tail wagging][Jacob reaches over and touches Brian's shoulder][Brian jumps a little]
Brian: Holy Shit [look at Jacob with wide eyes]
Jacob: Good morning Brian! [Brian turns around]
Brian: Morning! So… what do you want for an early Christmas present? [Jacob Leans in]
Jacob: …well… [Brian sits up straight] Let's just say…its LOADS of fun at the end… [Brian's expression goes blank. His eyes widen as well]
Brian: Uhh……………… [He pushes Brian against the wall] Whoa! Whoa! Come on now, Jacob… stop! You're uh… wait you mean now? [Waving his hands in Jacobs face]
Jacob: Right now!!! [He kisses Brian]
[CENSORED bar is across the entire screen
Brian: Heh… Heh.
Jacob: shhhh…
Brian: OH GOD STOP?!
Jacob: DUDE?! … Lower your voice…
[Random anime moment below]
Holliday: DEAR GOD?! LOOK AWAY?!!! (Doggie Style) [Mesmerized (Victor)] – He pretends to be…
"Victor": Heh! Heh! Get it... Doggie style!
Trent [What the fuck? Why the hell is he on?] [Holliday turns to Victor and starts waving her arms angrily in the air] (Still mesmerized)
Holliday: Are you MESMERIZED?! You perv…
Victor: Oh the naughtiness! Heh! Heh!
Trent- Don't ask… [Holliday crosses her arms and looks away]
Holliday: You are definitely gay or something of the sort… ╬ -anger mark [Victor drops the censored bar and points at Holliday] "Trent": It's almost time…
Victor: Shut up… [Trent jumps out and waves his arms saying something random]
Trent: Uyargha?! –Arnold Schwarzenegger voice
Holliday/ Victor: ? [We is confused]
RANDOM Anime moment –Has just occurred
[CENSORED bar goes away] – Is it over…
[Jacob is on Brian whispering]
Jacob: By the way Brian… look up… [Brian smiles a little]
Brian: Why?
Jacob: Just do it?! [Brian looks up. His eyes widen]
[The entire ceiling is coved in mistle toe]
Brian: HOLY SH…… [Jacob covers his mouth]
Jacob: Brian?! Lower your voice dude… [Brian sits up]
[Still looking up at the ceiling]
Brian: ?! … Uh… Please tell me that its only in my room? Right…
Jacob: Nope… the entire house is covered!
Brian: Oh… shit… uh… tell me. What's your other wish?
Jacob: Well… [Leaning in toward Brain] I want you kiss me in front of the family.
Brian: OH GOD! [Brian gets up and sits on the side of the bed] I… I… I don't know Jacob… I mean I love you… I mean really LOVE you but… peter would put us through hell… you know this. [Jacob gets up]
Jacob: Whatever… [He gets dressed] then don't… I'm leaving then.
[Brian jumps off the bed and walks up to Jacob] [He begins to cry]
Brian: Oh, oh god… are… are you breaking up with me? I… I…… [Jacob puts his hand on Brian's cheek]
Jacob: Dude! Relax. I'm just going to the mall to cool off… just for a little while, okay? [Jacob kisses Brian] See ya later Brian. (Shut!) [Brian stares at the door]
(A random gimmick is about to occur)
Brian: Aww… man… this more awkward then the time a gay anime character came to our front door… (Ding Dong!) [Brian answers the door] [A gay anime character comes in]
[Random Gimmick below]
Anime Person: Who's been a bad boy? [Smacking a leather whip on the palm of his hand] [Stewie walks by raising his hand]
Stewie: Oh… that would be me…
Anime Person: Oh… wrong house… sorry… [Brian shuts the door] [Brian and Stewie stare at each other for a minute]
Brian: Uh… that… wasn't weird at all…
Stewie: Your telling me. [Jacob yells from up stairs]
Jacob: BRIAN?! YOU KNOW YOU WOULD OF ENJOYED THAT!!!
Brian: SHUT UP JACOB?! [Stewie is giggling in the background] What the fuck are you laughing at? [Stewie starts to whistle and act as if he did nothing wrong]
Stewie: … nothing…
[This random gimmick is now over]
[JASPER'S HOUSE]
[Brian is wearing his gayish HO! HO! HO! Sweater] [he is clenching Jasper's shoulders shaking him a little, crying]
Brian: I made Jacob upset man! What do I do? [He lets go of Jasper with his head facing down]
Jasper: Well… you did say that he kissed you… right?
Brian: Yeah… but he looked so depressed…
Jasper: Don't worry! He'll be fine in a couple of hours! So… until then… why don't we go shopping at the mall? [Brian looks up]
Brian: What? I… I don't know…
Jasper: Aw… come on… it'll be fun! Please?
[Brian rolls his eyes]
Brian: Oh fine… [Jasper jumps up]
[At the freaking mall…]
[Jasper and Brian are walking around the mall] [Jasper's arm is around Brian]
Jasper: So… how do you feel?
Brian: A lot better. Thanks… sorry about before…
Jasper: Sorry? Aw come on. Don't be, I'm your cousin! And like I've always told you come to me when you are in need for an extra hand… and I can't pass that down… right! [Rubbing the top of his head]
Brian: [Giggling] Alright! Alright! [Jasper stops] … what is it?
Jasper: A RAINBOW STORE!!! Oh, let's go inside!
Brian: WHAT?! No! Absolutely not! [Jasper squints his eyes and grabs Brian by the sweater and pulls him inside] [Jaspers looking around]
Jasper: Ooh! Look at what I found!
Brian: What?
Jasper: Pink doggie collar!!!
Brian: Oh… well I think it suits you perfectly.
Jasper: Oh. It's not for me sweetie.
Brian: Uh… I don't really think pink is … "Jacob"… ya know… [Jasper shakes his head in disagreement]
Jasper: It's for you… [Shoving it in his face]
Brian: WHOA!!! NO! NO! NOWAY! HELL NO?!
Jasper: Aw… COME ON?! At least try it on?! [Brian crosses his arms and looks the other way]
Brian: No! Absolutely not!
Jasper: Please?
Brian: NO!?! [Jasper hand cuffs Brian to him] …you're not gonna let me go until I try it on… are you…
Jasper: Nope…
Brian: Okay. I give…Where the hell did you get these hand cuffs?
Jasper: I got it at Wal- mart on sale for 24.99…
Brian: Okay… I don't wanna know…
[Sometime later…]
Jasper: Oh my GOD! You look fabulous! [Brian is looking at himself in the mirror in boredom] [His eyes widen a little]
Brian: … you know… what's weird is the fact that I don't look that bad in pink… [Still bored]
Jasper: Brian! You look more fabulous than I did the last time I went to Los Vegas…
[Jasper is sitting on an air plane wearing large 1950's sun glasses] [Jacob looks over]
Jacob: You look like old lady… take those ridiculous things off?! Can you even see?
Jasper: … Nope…
[Dropping Brian off]
Jasper: Well… it was fun while it lasted… but… it has to end somewhere… Besides its Christmas Eve! So… stop fighting with Jacob and spend some time with him… Okay?
Brian: … Alright… [Brian gets out of the car and shuts the door] Oh! By the way… for everything you have done for me. And the pink collar. [Jasper smiles]
Jasper: No problem.
Brian: See ya later! [Jasper waves good-bye and drives off]
[Inside]
[Brian walks up to Jacob in embarrassment]
Jacob: … What's up with the pink collar?
Brian: Huh… Oh… Jasper got it for me… you like it?
Jacob: Ehh… it's alright I guess… I'm not much of a pink person…
Brian: (Fake cough) Right. So… I've been thinking about the present you wanted. So here's my response… yes…
Jacob: REALLY?! DUDE! THAT'S KICKASS!? [Jacob grabs Brian by the hand and pull him in too the living room] [Jacob leans in for a kiss]
Everyone: OH GOD, WHAT THE HELL?! [Kissing has just occurred]
Lois: … oh my god…
Stewie: No! No! (Sniff)… Damn you Brian?!
Peter: Holy Shit Brian?! You're a faggot? Heh. Heh. Heh… faggot… [Meg runs up stairs crying] [Victor pops up with a camera] (Meg also has hotdogs in her pocket)
-don't ask why she has the hotdogs…
Victor: (Click!) Feel the burn of the puppy love, bitch?! (Click!) … Emotional breakdown… this is a moment to remember… (Click!) [Trent runs across the screen]
Trent: OH YEAH?! I'M IN FAMILY GUY BITCHES?! Oh… one more thing… Uyarguyargie?! –Arnold Schwarzenegger voice
[Refrigerator door opening sound]
Holliday: Where the hell did the hotdogs I bought yesterday go?!
[Victor looks up the stair case]
Victor/ Trent: …ewe… you don't want to know…
[Now back to the show] [Everyone leaves]
Jacob: Good… their gone! Anyway… I've got a pretty huge Christmas present for you…
Brian: You do? Well… what is it? [Getting up]
Jacob: Well… here?! [Jacob blushes a little] [Jacob tosses a small navy blue box toward Brian] [Brian opens the box and begins to cry]
Brian: Oh my god… Jacob… are… you asking to marry me? [Peter pops out of nowhere]
Jacob: Where the hell did you come from?
Peter: … You don't need to know…… you to being faggots is worse than the time I starred as Toby in Naruto Shippuden…
[In a movie]
Toby: You are indeed the nine tailed fox spirit… Uzumaki Naruto…
Naruto: Who the hell are you?
Toby: I'm… [Slowly taking off his mask]
[Random anime narrator5 Anissa Alexander jumps up]
Anissa: OH YEAH?!
Manager: Mama… Please take your seat.
"Trent": Wait for it…
Random anime narrator4 Nickayla Smith/ Victor/ Holliday: ?!?!?!?!?!
[The movie…]
Toby: PETER GRIFFIN?! Heh! Heh! Heh!
[Trent jumps up cheering]
Trent: WHOO?! OH HELL YEAH?! I WROTE THAT PEOPLES!!! [Everyone] –SHHHH?!
[Now back to the show]
[Jacob blushes a little]
Jacob: Oh! We're not actual like this! We were just faking it… plus look at the ceiling… [Peter looks up]
Peter: … That's a lot of green and red shit on the ceiling…
Jacob: It's called "mistle toe"
Peter: ……… Oh! Okay, okay… that's why you kissed! Okay GOT IT! Well… see ya guys later then! [Peter leaves the room]
Jacob: Okay… before fat man comes back?! Yes… or No?
Brian: HELL FUCKING YEAH?! [Hugs Jacob hard] [Jacobs face turns red from lack of air]
Jacob: I THINK I KNOW HOW PIMPLES FEEL?!
[2 Months later…]
[Jacob is hugging Brian from behind]
Brian: Come on! Stop!…
Jacob: … You know what? You do look good in pink!
Brian: Thanks… good thing we left Lois and them behind…
Jacob: I did that for you! [Jasper walks in]
Jasper: So… you like the pink tuxedo?
Brian: I love it! [Jasper sticks his arm out]
Jasper: Ready, Hun?
Brian: … Yep… [He breathes in nervously and smiles]
[They walk out. Everyone they knew (Except for Lois and them) was there. Even some of the gay community] [Jasper hugs Brian]
Jasper: … I told you I would help whenever you needed it… [Hugs Brian again] … I'm proud of you… good luck to you two… [He sits down] [Jacob looks over]
Jacob: … Trent? You're here? You know that your gonna see kissing… right?
Dog form- Trent: Ah… at this point I really don't care… you love who you love. Besides… I don't think you count… you defy the laws of physics…
Jacob: OH!! I get it! I love that! I should make that into a t-shirt! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Trent: Ooh! And it should say this… So what if I'm gay… when you look this good… you're aloud to defy the laws of physics!
Jacob: THAT'S PERFECT?!
Trent/ Jacob: HA! HA! HA! HA! [Brian taps Jacob's cheek]
Brian: Dude.
Jacob: Huh? OH! Sorry… go on… [And thus the marriage began… and the start of the amazing part of the series!]
[Credits] end…
Jacob: WHOA!!! Hold up! Before this ends… Brian is indeed bisexual and I got proof… but I don't feel like explain it…well bye… Oh read the paragraph below. It will make you giggle…
This script has a lot of words on it but doesn't say much of anything… you must feel fairly stupid by now since you sat there wasting your time reading it… well your almost to the end so you might as well go ahead and finish it. CONGRADULATIONS! You've made it to the second to the last sentence. What a loser.
[Credits] "FAMILY GUY THEME MUSIC"
Starring as himself and Jacob Green
Alex Shelton
Original show
Seth Macfalaine
Adapted by
Victor Grasselino
Holliday Downs
Seth Green
Thomas Taylor
Andrew Lott
Trent Todd
Nickayla Smith
Anissa Alexander
Frankie Jackson
Cheyenne Jackson
Brian Rendon
Derec Foster
Zee Chance
Chance Floyd
Jimi Summers
Dominique Stowbridge
Mila Kunis
Johnny Brenna
Jordan Faddis
To my girlfriend who thinks this is f*cking hilarious…
Rebecca Doster
Special thanks to
Victor Grasselino
Trent Todd
Jimi Summers
Seth Macfalaine
Holliday Downs
Chance Floyd
Writer of the scripts
Trent Todd
Zee Chance
Victor Grasselino
A Fox Ember Production!
Co. workers with Flicktoon Studios!
Thanks for Reading!!!
Okay. So if you liked this series and wish to be part of it don't hesitate to ask!!! Please R&R thanks for reading!