Chapter 3- I Am a Soldier

Arriving in the town Heero remembered so well, he could think of nothing more than the fact that he had helped to destroy it.

The roads were too demolished to drive on. Many houses were nothing more than piles of rocks and wood. The only thing that was still intact in most places was the plumbing. Some houses had a few walls standing. Men and a few women were walking to and fro with tools and lumber rebuilding the houses. Old men and women were sitting outside selling things out of crates. Old women were cooking outside over homemade ovens. Younger women and children old enough to work were working in the fields. Younger children wearing old torn clothes were playing in the dirt in the streets.

Audrey gaped at the devastation as the two walked down the street. Heero looked around as well, but he was searching for something in particular. He remembered many of the buildings from when he had been in the town himself, and could also remember how they had been destroyed. More often than not, he had been involved in the destruction.

He stopped when he spotted what he'd been looking for. There was a large area with unused lumber, pipes, bricks, and anything else needed to rebuild a town. There weren't enough supplies to rebuild the entire town, but there appeared to be enough for a few houses.

Heero walked into the yard with Audrey following close behind. He spotted a man that looked to be in charge and strode towards him.

The man looked down at the two teenagers in curiosity. "Need a hand?" Heero asked.

The man laughed. "We need lots of 'em." He said. "We can't pay you though."

"We don't want your money." Heero assured him.

"You know how to work with tools boy?" Heero nodded, and the man turned to Audrey. "What about you?"

She nodded too.

"Okay." The man said. "My name is Christopher." He extended his hand to Heero.

"I'm Heero Yuy." He accepted the hand awkwardly.

Audrey shook his hand as well. "I'm Audrey Harper."

The man looked between the two curiously, but didn't ask their relationship. He just told them to follow. The three walked a short ways until they got to one of the construction sites. Christopher said a few short words to another man who nodded and motioned to a section of the house. Christopher came back to them. "Are either of you afraid of heights?"

Both of them shook their heads no.

"And you have good balance?"

They nodded.

"Good. You both look pretty light. We aren't a very wealthy town, and we don't have many scaffolds or heavy equipment. We're rebuilding the biggest houses and the ones still partially intact first so we can house more people sooner. This one is four stories tall, and we're reconstructing the frame in the upper levels. That's where you two will be. Just climb up there any way you can. You can check in with him if you have any questions. His name is James." He indicated the man he had talked to before. He grabbed two hammers and two packs of nails and handed one to each of them before walking away.

Heero immediately set off with single minded determination toward the house, and Audrey followed a step behind. Heero found a window ledge and hoisted himself onto the second floor. Audrey followed with a bit more difficulty. They made it to the third floor which was nothing more than a few floor beams and several vertical supports. The frame for the sides weren't put up yet, but two men were standing on the beams looking upwards. They were apparently trying to solve a problem.

Heero and Audrey walked along the beams toward them.

"Can we help out?" Heero asked.

The men turned to them and smiled. "Sure can." One said. "I'm Jeff." He was a burly man probably in his early thirties. "This is Theodore." Theodore was a bit shorter, and a bit younger as well.

"You can call me Theo." Theodore said tipping his hat. "I don't recall having ever seen you two. You're from here?"

"No" Audrey said. "I'm Audrey and this is Heero."

"You with the red cross or something? You're kinda young."

"We're just here to help out." Heero preferred to avoid personal questions.

Jeff chuckled and dropped the subject. "Well you've come to the right place."

Theo shifted his weight and pointed to a long plank of wood. "We've been trying to figure out how to get that up there." He said pointing upwards to where the vertical beams in each corner of the building and at other intervals ended ten feet above them. "We thought we were going to have to wait for tomorrow when we could get another ladder."

"But now that you're here..." Jeff smiled at the two and then looked to Theo. "You and Heero take the ladder and go down that way. Me and the little lady will tackle this end."

Theo nodded and motioned for Heero to grab the ladder. They walked down to the next vertical beam and set up the ladder.

Suddenly alone with Jeff, Audrey struggled not to feel anxious. She stared at him with a confused expression. "How are we going to get up there without a ladder?" She asked.

Jeff smiled slyly and tucked one end of the beam under his arm. He put one foot on the beam she was standing on and one on the beam perpendicular to it and crouched down. "Climb on little lady."

"Huh?"

"Sit on my shoulders."

Audrey looked at him like he was crazy, but then realized that he was serious. She gulped and did as she was told. Jeff stood up and handed her the end of the plank. She grimaced when she felt how heavy it was. "Put it on top." He instructed. She tried to reach, but found that she couldn't.

"Not to worry." Jeff said sliding a hand beneath each of her feet. "Stand up. Use the corner beam for balance. Audrey slowly and shakily stood and put the beam in its proper place. She adjusted it until it was perfectly aligned and then reached for her hammer.

"Relax." Jeff said. "I'm not going to drop you. Just put a few nails in there."

Audrey nailed quickly and carefully. She tried not to move much, because she was afraid that he Jeff would lose his balance. After three nails were effectively holding the beam in place, Jeff handed her another plank and instructed her to put it perpendicular to the one she had just put on. Both beams had been cut at a diagonal, so they fit together perfectly. Heero and Theo, who had finished with their end of the first beam shortly before her, went over to the other corner to nail in the other end of the second beam.

A half hour later, they had finished putting up the top beams and started working on the walls and floor. Audrey was thankful when she learned that she didn't have to sit on Jeff's shoulders anymore.

While Jeff and Audrey filled in the beams for the floor, Heero and Theo took the ladder and started filling in the frame of the walls. Heero had no problem standing on an old shaky ladder twenty five feet off of the ground. He'd never been afraid of heights, nor had he ever been afraid to die. He'd survived worse than a little fall like that. He wasn't planning on falling though. He still had work to do, and it would take a lot before he would be satisfied with his repentance.

Construction stopped at dusk. Heero and Audrey were both sweaty and tired, but there was nowhere for them to bathe so they ended up just washing up with a faucet. They slept outside on the dirt like many of the other townspeople with their bags as pillows and jackets as blankets. Neither complained.

They continued their same routine for the next week. They awoke before dawn and ate a small breakfast that they bought from one of the village venders. By dawn they were already working. They braked for a small lunch that usually consisted of an apple and a piece of bread (for which they intentionally overpaid), and then continued working until nightfall.

On their eighth night there, it stormed. There wasn't any shelter that wasn't already filled with people, so the people who were outside huddled against buildings under the overhangs trying to keep dry.

The storm was over by morning, but everything was muddy and slippery. There were stairs leading from the first to the second story and from the second to the third, so climbing up wasn't hazardous. Nevertheless, a few hours after they started working, there was a commotion down below.

"What happened?" Jeff called over to Theo and Heero.

"Somebody fell." Theo called back.

Jeff stood from where he had been hammering nails into the floor and strode toward the stairs. The other three hesitated for a moment but then followed him.

Heero and Audrey continued to follow Jeff as he muscled his way through the crowd.

A man was sitting on the ground clutching his arm. The arm was hanging limp and bleeding profusely while the man gasped in pain.

"Did anyone call a doctor?" Jeff asked as he crouched beside the man.

Another man spoke up. "The nearest doctor is in the next town." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "The way he's bleeding, he won't make it."

Audrey spoke up. "Is there a first aid kit anywhere and a bowl of water and a towel?" She asked.

Jeff turned to look at her, glaring at the interruption. She faltered and took a step back stuttering. "I…I'm a trained nurse. I could help."

Jeff's glare switched to a shocked look, and he quickly yelled. "Someone bring a first aid kit!"

A few seconds later, everything she asked for was shoved into her hands. Audrey crouched down beside the man and opened the kit. There was a bottle of antiseptic, some popsicle sticks, some gauze and bandages, a pair of rubber gloves, and thankfully a needle and some thread.

All of the men looked on silently as she got to work.

Audrey gently pried the man's hand away from his arm. The bone in his upper arm was completely broken and one end had punctured the skin. Audrey picked up one of the popsicle sticks and shoved it between the man's molars. "Here. Bite on this. This is gonna hurt." With a sudden movement, she set the bone back into its place. The man hissed in pain. "Can someone hold this?" She asked.

She wasn't surprised to see Heero quickly kneel down and hold the arm in place. Audrey took the wet towel and started wiping the blood away from the wound. She slipped the plastic gloves on and then picked up the needle and thread.

"You severed an artery." She told the man as she searched for the two ends of the artery. "That's why it's bleeding so much." Heero took his cue and pinched the artery down on both sides with the hand he wasn't using to support the arm to stop it from bleeding. Audrey quickly stitched it together. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as the bleeding slowed to a trickle.

Suddenly a woman ran up frantically. She crouched down on the other side of the man despite the other men's protests. The woman started fretting over the man, but thankfully she stayed out of the working pair's way.

Not ten minutes after the man had fallen, the man's arm was stitched closed and set in a brace that Heero had made from the popsicle sticks. Audrey wrapped the wound while Heero made a makeshift sling.

The man thanked the two heartily and the woman, who appeared to be his wife, gave them tearful hugs.

Heero looked uncomfortable with the hug, and just stood there blushing slightly.

"No problem." Audrey said and began picking up the remaining supplies for later use.

Jeff gave them both cheerful pats on the back as the man was helped to his makeshift home. "You two are just full of surprises. Where'd you learn to do that?" He said.

They both shrugged (Audrey, with an embarrassed smile) and started making their way back towards the building. There was still a half a day left of work, and Audrey and Jeff had planned to seal up the entire floor by the end of the day. Audrey was determined to finish it, because it was supposed to rain again that night, and the floor of the third story provided a roof for the entire second story. That translated to a place for her and at least thirty other people to sleep.

Heero just returned with single minded determination to his mission.

That night, the wife of the man who had fallen, brought them a cake. Audrey was almost moved to tears by the effort the woman had gone through to acquire the ingredients for it. She knew that the people in the town were struggling with money and that it was the most they could do to feed themselves three times a day.

They politely refused to accept the cake, but after a few minutes of coaxing, they were convinced to take half of it. They sent the other half back with the woman to eat with her family. They both ate a small piece themselves and then shared the rest with the children who were sleeping in the second floor of the building with them.

It was the first time most of these children had had cake since they'd lost their homes.

Because there was no electricity in the town, Heero had no idea what was going on in the world. His laptop battery had run out long ago, and even when it had been charged, the internet wasn't every good.

He occasionally gleaned a few bits of information off of the men who traveled to neighboring towns to sell things. Even that was not much. Nothing major was happening in the Earth Sphere. There was no mention of Miliardo Peacecraft. Relena Peacecraft was still negotiating, and the nations were slowly picking themselves up and working together. There had been no outbreaks of violence, and it seemed as though no new factions dissatisfied with the peace had formed.

It was a small reassurance to Heero, but he still wondered if it was possible to have a complete, lasting peace.

He wished that he wasn't so closed off from events in the world. He was used to knowing exactly what was going on, and was usually somehow in the middle of major events. It was somewhat disorienting to only have vague information about the state of the Earth Sphere and to be so far away from his gundam that if something happened, he could do nothing about it.

After Heero and Audrey had given them cake, the children had taken a strong liking to them. They would want to play with him any chance they got. Heero was at a loss for what to do. He had never played with children in his life—not even when he was a child.

When they had breaks, the children would try to drag the two of them off to play games. Many of these times, Heero had just sat and watched as Audrey had made some sort of jump rope out of unused rope or had drawn a hopscotch on the cement with broken bricks. Audrey also taught many of the little girls to make dolls from corn husks.

He had been dragged into these games a few times, but he was too tall for the jump rope, and he couldn't understand the concept of playing with dolls. He did enjoy the hopscotch from time to time, but it got old when kids tried to hang on his arms and legs while he hopped.

That didn't deter some of the children. Many of the boys, usually those around six or seven years old, liked to play swordfight with him. Their swords were scraps wood that their fathers had carved for them. Heero didn't have his own sword, so he usually had to just dodge. Heero tried to avoid playing sword fight, because he couldn't defend himself without hurting one of the kids. The boys' mothers didn't care much for the game either because too many boys came home with bruises. Heero was thankful when their swords were taken away.

As hard as he tried to fight it, the longer he stayed, the antsier he got. It didn't help that his partner was completely unreliable and undisciplined. Two weeks after they arrived at the town, Audrey started slipping away after dinner. Heero woke up a few mornings, and she was absent as well. She was always on time for work, and never lost attention. Heero had no idea where she was going when she went missing, but he figured that it was none of his business.

He started getting suspicious, though, when showed up to work with a large bandage on her hand. He didn't say anything, but he was starting to wonder where she went. Finally, he caught her slipping out of the shelter in the middle of the night. He debated for a few seconds whether or not to follow her and then slipped out after her. He wanted to know was she was doing. If it was just some tryst, then he really didn't care, but if she was some kind of agent sent to track him, he wanted to know about it.

He stalked her to the supply yard and watched as she went into the tool shed. His curiosity was peaked when he saw her come out with a tool belt full of wrenches, a hammer, and a blowtorch. He waited in the shadows for her to come out.

"Where are you going?" He asked as she walked out of the supply yard.

She jumped and whipped around clutching the blowtorch to her chest. When she saw it was just him, she relaxed. She smiled slyly. "Come and see." She told him and started heading off toward the edge of the town.

Confused by her strange behavior, Heero tailed after her. With only the moon to provide any light, she led him into the part of town that was completely demolished by the battle. Parts of mobile suits were still lying on the ground. Heero had avoided this area since he'd gotten to the town. He didn't know why, but now he felt kind of silly.

She continued walking, carefully picking around the scraps. Finally she stopped with a "Voila!"

Heero stepped beside her and stared at what she was showing him. Slowly, a smile crept onto his mouth. Why didn't I think of this?

Sitting before them was a jeep.

"I think it belonged to one of the factions that fought here. It was pretty banged up, but not irreparable. I asked Christopher if he wanted it, and he said that if I could fix it, I could keep it."

"This is where you've been coming?" Heero ran his hand over the jeep's dented hood and then popped it open.

"Yep." Audrey said. "I figured that we weren't going to stay here forever, and we can't hitchhike everywhere. So when I found this jeep, I decided to fix it up."

Heero examined the engine, noting that it looked to be in working order. "Where'd you get the parts?"

"There are a few wrecked tanks down that way. I got the parts for the engine from them. I don't know what we're going to do about the windows. We might be able to salvage some glass from the computers in these suits."

Heero nodded. "Does it run?"

"The battery's dead." She said. "I thought maybe I could charge it up using one of these mobile suits, but I don't know how to work them."

Heero walked a circle around the jeep. The front windshield and the one on the driver's side were smashed out. It was obvious that the jeep had probably been thrown over by an explosion by the way the sides were dented up and the metal supporting the top bended. The front showed signs of a wreck as well, but Audrey had straightened out most of the dents before she started repairing the engine.

He leaned through the window to find that the inside was surprisingly intact, aside from a little rain damage to the leather seats and the siding for the driver's door. The siding had been pulled off, probably by Audrey. It was sitting on the passenger's seat. The shattered glass from the window had been carefully removed—or perhaps not so carefully. Heero noticed a few drops of blood on the floor. He figured that Audrey had probably cut her hand while removing the glass.

Heero tugged on the door but found that it was stuck. He stepped back and looked around. Audrey just watched him as he walked away to survey the destroyed mobile suits.

Figuring that he was just being weird, she crawled through the jeep's window and pulled a flashlight out of the glove compartment. Switching it on, she started knocking the dents out of the driver's door.

A few minutes later, Heero returned. "I found one that works." He said opening the hood again. "I can go charge the battery."

Audrey crawled out of the window and searched her belt for the right size wrench. She found it and handed it to Heero. He quickly removed the battery and headed off again. Audrey followed him curiously. He stopped in front of one of the mobile suits. It was missing its head and the right arm and leg. He nimbly climbed up and disappeared. A second later, a whirring was heard and the mobile suit came to life. Audrey recovered from her initial shock and cautiously climbed up as well. She quickly discovered that it wasn't as easy as Heero had made it look.

She found Heero sitting in the cockpit. Since the mobile suit was lying down, the cockpit was turned as well. The battery was left sitting beside the cockpit's entrance.

Audrey watched curiously as Heero typed commands with practiced ease and then pulled himself up to squat on the back of the seat. He reached beneath the computer and pulled two wires free.

Heero looked up and noticed her watching him. "Hand me the battery." He ordered.

Audrey passed it down to him.

"Your gloves too." Audrey pulled her gloves off and handed them down to him.

Heero slipped them on and twisted the sparking wires into place on the battery. He turned and typed something into the computer again and then pulled himself out. He didn't say a word to Audrey as he strode back to the jeep. The feeling of being inside of a mobile suit again left him a little disoriented. It hadn't been that long since the war ended, but it felt like forever.

Mobile suits were familiar to him. This new world with families, laughter, and friends wasn't. The other gundam pilots were his friends, he supposed, but they had only interacted with ever-present danger and responsibility looming over their heads.

Although he tried his hardest to interact with normal people, he didn't know if he would ever be as comfortable around them as he was in mobile suits. He didn't like the thought.

"You okay?" Heero turned at the sound of Audrey's voice. He had completely zoned out and hadn't noticed her approach.

He nodded and returned her gloves. He assumed that the conversation was over, but he was wrong.

"You don't look okay." She studied his face. "Sorry."

Heero blinked. "For what?"

She shrugged. "For whatever is bothering you. You were fine a few minutes ago, and now you look upset…or maybe haunted. If it's something I did, then I'm sorry."

Heero shook his head. "It's not you." He said. His gaze scanned the destruction around them.

"You fought in the battle here didn't you?"

Heero looked back at her, shock clearly written on his face.

Audrey fidgeted and then looked down. She was torn between curiosity and fear that she would hurt him. "I…I mean I thought you did. That's why you wanted to come here. You think that it's your fault that these people lost their homes."

Heero didn't answer. He didn't know how to. He just turned and started heading back into the village.

He didn't get far before Audrey spoke again. "It's not." It was almost too soft for him to hear. "You shouldn't blame yourself."

Heero stopped but didn't turn. "What do you know?"

"Why don't you explain it to me then?"

Heero glared at her over his shoulder before turning and starting toward the town again.

"It's not your fault, Heero! When are you going to understand that?" Audrey yelled to his retreating form. "You did what you thought was right, and because of that, the world is at peace! The war is over! Accept it! You can't be a soldier forever."

Heero whipped around in a flash, and in a few short strides was inches away from her.

"I. Am. A soldier." He said without emotion. "That is all I have ever been, and it's all I know how to be. I made mistakes during the war, and now it is my duty to make up for them. I'm sorry if you disapprove."

The chill in his eyes scared Audrey close to tears. Somehow, she managed to speak. "No one's perfect, Heero. That's what makes us human. Being a soldier doesn't make you any less human."

Heero stared at her. His anger was slowly replaced by tiredness. "This was a bad idea." He mumbled.

"What?"

"We hardly know each other. There's no way that we can work together."

Audrey looked at him sadly for a second and then dropped her gaze to the ground. "I thought we did pretty well. But since you think otherwise, go. Go mope and feel guilty about every little accident and mistake you've ever made. Take the jeep with you." It was her turn to stalk moodily toward the town.

Heero looked at the jeep. "I don't want the jeep." He said.

"Neither do I." Audrey called back. "I can't drive."

Heero stared after her until she disappeared. With a sigh he leaned against the jeep and slid down to sit on the ground. His head was spinning from his recent orientation into normal society, operating a mobile suit again, and the things Audrey had said to him. He was confused and he had nothing to fall back on. War had been a more simple thing for him. He did things for the good of the people.

Now Audrey was expecting him to do things for his own sake. He didn't know if he could. As far back as he could remember, he had done things under orders. Acting on his own was new enough for him, but he had had more time to learn to live that way. If operating on his own, had always done what was best for everyone else regardless of his own welfare. This new concept of…selfishness—for he could find no other term—was odd.

He leaned his head back and stared at the sky. It would be dawn in less than an hour. He knew that he should go to sleep in preparation for his work day but he needed time to think. Audrey's words kept running through his head.

"No one's perfect, Heero. That's what makes us human. Being a soldier doesn't make you any less human."

"I am a soldier." He mumbled.

"You can't be a soldier forever."

"It's all I've ever been, and it's all I know how to be." He weighed each of his words. "But it's not what I want to be."

"It's not your fault, Heero!"

He looked at the destroyed mobile suits and the ruins of the village around him.

"Hn."

Thank you rukz and IAmAurora for your support and input. Feedback is always appreciated.