Disclaimer: Standard applied
Summary: Autumn last year I was rejected. My boyfriend fell in love with another girl. The man who rejected me is still my boyfriend even now, and the girl he loves is still my best friend. And even now they still love each other. AU.
Note:
Past/Thought
Present
-. This is an AU, so as expected from most AU, yes the character would be OOC. So don't bother to review about the OOCness-
Thanks for my BETA: LunarStar77
and reviewers:
cupcakesrock
Miwa03
mechamecahandredbeanpaste
bakanootoko
shigeru
huhuhu
XD
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Chapter 2 —Rukia—
"Feelings"
I looked at both of my friends who walked away from where I was standing. I frowned when I looked at the auburn haired girl's back. I worried about Orihime's condition. Lately she looked a bit weaker, especially today, she looked pale and didn't talk much. She was'ot type of girl who talked a lot but today she was exceptionally quiet.
I understood, she didn't want to make us worry about her, but I still couldn't help but feel worry. After all she was my best friend.
I took a deep breath; at least, Renji took her home. I knew I could count on him. Thinking about it made me a little bit relieved, Renji would take her home safely. Slowly I averted my gaze to another orange headed who stood next to me.
He was scowling, looked at his girlfriend and his best friend walk away. I knew he felt worried, as much as me. Maybe more than what I felt. After all, Orihime was his girlfriend.
He was a little bit startled when I patted his back hard, he looked at me and I just smirked at his scowling face, "Hey, don't worry… Renji will drive safely…"
The tall strawberry chuckled, I grinned back at him. It was weird, just by seeing his face I could feel my heart beat faster.
Control yourself, Kuchiki Rukia! He's your best friend's boyfriend! I slapped my face mentally, very hard.
I bent down to pick my bag on the grass. I patted it few times to get rid of the dried grass which stuck on to it. I was ready to get home when Ichigo followed my every move with his eyes.
"You're going home?"
I nodded once before took a look at my watch. The sun was still up there but it was already seven. I frowned, my brother would not want me to be late for dinner, "Well," I looked at his face, "You still have a meeting don't you?"
"I'll skip it."
"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow.
He might be a punk but Ichigo almost never skipped any club activity before.
Ichigo smirked, he lifted his shoulders, "Even though I'm the club captain but the meeting is led by a senior, I don't really have to attend it."
I laughed, "Irresponsible captain."
Ichigo didn't reply to me, he just sighed, "I gotta change first. Wait for me, I'll take you home."
"Huh?"
He rolled his eyes, "You heard me." He rubbed the back of his orange hair, "I'll take you home. Lately there' have been some cases where they attacked young woman, right?" then he added fast, like he could read what was up in my mind, "I know you could defend yourself, but even your brother wouldn't let you walk alone at this time right?" and this was not even night, I sighed, "I don't want a no from you."
I laughed.
Actually I was happy. Ichigo was just this kind of man. He was just too kind. I couldn't say no to him, after all we were heading in the same direction.
Deep inside my heart, I knew that this was improper, I mean he was taken and his girlfriend was my best friend, but what could I do?
I was trying so hard to fight the urge to smile widely as we walked toward the sport center where Ichigo had his belongings.
"Wait for me here, ok? I'll be back in a hurry!"
I nodded.
I dropped my bag on the floor and sat beside my bag Indian style. Ichigo was heading to the boys locker room to take a shower and change.
I couldn't help but smile. Today, Ichigo would take me home, wasn't that awesome? I knew that if Orihime knew, she might get jealous. But Orihime was a pure hearted girl, she wouldn't get jealous over me, would she? Besides, she didn't have to know…
I inhaled deeply, now I felt bad about this.
Orihime was my friend.
Ichigo was my friend too.
And he was Orihime's boyfriend.
Hell, it made me confuse now.
I fell for the wrong guy.
I sighed, it was dark already out there. My brother would get angry if I was late. I didn't want to anger him. Yet, I was happy that Ichigo was going to take me home. Maybe, just maybe, I should walk slower to get more time with him.
I closed my eyes and still, I could see him.
It was always him. Lately, every time I closed my eyes, it was Ichigo I saw. I tried to stop it, it wasn't right after all. But no matter how hard I kept trying, I couldn't stop think ing about him. The more I told myself that this was wrong, that this feeling shouldn't exist, the more I felt the pressure to have him. I wanted to have him all for myself.
How wrong is that thought?
I could not do that to my very own best friend, now could I?
Orihime was innocent. If she knew, it would break her. I didn't want to break her.
If somebody asked me, when I had fallen in love with Ichigo, I would say I didn't know. I didn't know precisely when I fell for him. As long as I could remember I had already fallen for him. Hard. I started to think about this feeling three years ago, but I was sure I had loved him since far before that. Maybe even since the first time I met him.
I had been trying to erase my feeling for him for years. I had been trying so hard to stop this feeling, to forget him. Then when I realized that it was impossible to stop loving him, I decided to hide it. I loved Ichigo so much, but Orihime was also my best friend and I loved her too. I did not want to hurt her for any reason.
I knew that I had been such a cruel woman. I knew that Orihime had trusted me but what had I done was just like stabbing her from behind. I fell in love with the man she had always loved.I knew I was wrong, however it was Orihime who met him first, and they had been together long before I knew them.
At first, I had told myself to give this feeling up, to throw away all of this feeling and forget him. But summer last year, Ichigo unexpectedly confessed his feeling to me. I had been surprised. I never realized it, never once I had ever thought that he would fall in love with me—a violent woman who smacked his head thousand times. Rather than being happy, I had been so scared. I was scared that all of it was just a dream, and when I woke up I'd put my hope too high.
Maybe it had been really a dream.
After that day, Ichigo and Orihime were still together, even until today. Ichigo and me never talked about what had happened that day anymore. When I saw how his relationship with Orihime didn't change, I believed that he had never been serious when he said that to me. Maybe his feeling for me weren't that deep.
Somehow I was quite disappointed.
I loved Ichigo.
I'd always ahd.
I knew this was wrong. If only Orihime knew about this, she would hate me. She had all the right to hate me, but still I did n't want her to hate me.
All the feeling I had for Ichigo would never make me ready to hurt Orihime.
Maybe.
I knew that Ichigo would never want to hurt Orihime too.
"Oi, let's go!" when I turned around I could see Ichigo there standing, he had changed into t-shirt and jeans "Sorry for having you wait."
I shook my head, "Never mind, It's okay."
Actually I didn't realize that I had been waiting for him this long because my mind was too busy thinking about other things. I stood up and walked to him.
I'd decided.
For now, I would just try to enjoy being by his side.
As his friend.
Ichigo and me walked slowly while chatting to the station. We laughed at some joke and stupid things that happened today. Ichigo seldom laughed, I was lucky that I was one of his few best friends. He almost never laughed in front of other people.
Suddenly I felt like I didn't want to share his laugh to anyone.
Even to Orihime.
I shook my head strongly to erase that thought. I shouldn't think like that. Orihime was my best friend and Ichigo was her boyfriend. I had to respect that fact.
But I wonder why my mind and heart had different ideas.
My mind told me to stop.
My heart would never let me stop.
"Oi, What are you thinking?" Ichigo nudged my arm softly.
I looked at him and smirked, imitating his usual smirk. "Why do you wanna know?"
Ichigo smirked, "Because you made a stupid face."
I laughed, "Look who's talking."
Ichigo laughed too. I smiled, he always looked handsome when he was laughing. I knew that Orihime loved his laughed too.
Oh my, I loved him too much.
But he belonged to someone else.
Before I could realize it suddenly I blurted out, "You make me feel jealous."
Ichigo stopped and turned to me.
"What do you mean by jealous?"
I laughed, "Well, maybe it was more like envy than jealous… Errr… I envy you…"
Ichigo did not say anything, he was scowling and looking into my eyes. When I realized what I had just said I turned red. I did not mean it like that!
"Well, I mean, you're popular Ichigo, and you're strong… you're not that stupid anyway and hey you also have a beautiful girlfriend. What a perfect life there you have!"
Ichigo still looked at me for few seconds without saying anything. He sighed and finally looked away, he walked again as he did so, "You don't have to be jealous…Or envy me… Or anything," he looked at me again while walking and narrowed his eyes, "Look at you, you're popular and strong too for a girl… Everybody likes you, you're fun…" and then he smirked teasingly, "And I don't think you need a beautiful girlfriend now do you…?"
I laughed, "Of course no!"
We laughed.
"You know, Ichigo, you're such a lucky bastard," I said when our laughter died off, "…having such a lovely girlfriend like Orihime…"
He sighed "I know…"
"She is beautiful and really kind."
"I know."
"She loves you."
"I know."
"I love you too."
"I know."
And we stopped walking.
He looked at me, scowling. He didn't smile. I couldn't read his expression. I had no idea why I had said that. Maybe it was just another dream. Maybe it was just one of my imagination, I did not know what was wrong with me. Before I could think about anything, I had already tiptoed and put my hands around his neck. It happened so fast.
I kissed him.
Maybe this feeling had finally driven me crazy.
------------------chapter 2—juri— "feelings" : end-------------------
-author's note-
Once again, :D I thank my BETA for all of her kindness to help me with this chapter :D I would be crazy without her. LunarStar77, love you girl!
:D I already finished the 3rd chapter and i will post it once it get beta-ed !
R.