The Library

It was the next day, and Severus was in the library, studying for Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was his favourite subject, even though all his teachers agreed that Snape's true skill lay in his natural capability with potions. Severus loved nothing better than to be in the warm library, always smelling of old books and wet, fresh ink, with the ever-present sound of quills scratching against parchment. He bent over his book, his long, thin nose near the parchment, and his greasy hair falling across his pale, sallow cheek and onto the page. But it was hard for Snape to concentrate when he thought of the detention in the Forbidden Forest looming ahead that afternoon. He'd never had a detention before, and it was horribly shameful. At first he was fearful and reluctant to face the evening in the forest, but by then in mid-morning, Severus's feelings had shifted to a miserable longing to be done and over with the ordeal.

He looked up, breaking from his reverie, when the door to the library creaked open, and Snape watched James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter file in. He examined their countenances; the four Marauders were accustomed to detentions, and Severus thought it odd that James, for once in his life, appeared downcast and quiet. Sirius, too, was silent, which was even more rare than James's sincerity. His face was sympathetic, and he walked close next to James. Remus was always more reserved than the other three, and his behavior was not altered, save the frequent glances he cast anxiously up at James's face, which was tight and withdrawn. Peter, however, hurried eagerly behind James and Sirius, and could not seem to realize that the others did not wish to caper around playing pranks and making mischief. Severus was never a conspicuous child, and it was all too easy for him to slip behind a bookcase and watch the Marauders. Snape scorned James and his friends, but after what Sirius had said to him last night, he could not help but wonder what they were like with one another, when they weren't trying to be the popular group of Gryffindors, but were just being friends, and when his own judgment wasn't clouded with resentment.

James sat down at a table nearby, dropping his chin onto his hand, and pushing his other hand across his black hair. The gesture did not annoy Severus as it had after the fateful Quidditch match; it seemed to be merely a weary, impatient movement, not an attempt to tousle his hair into appearing wind-blown and casual. Sirius leaned closer towards James, their two heads bent together, and spoke softly, his normally rowdy voice now too soft to reach Snape's ears. Severus was relieved; he did not want to eavesdrop, just to watch. Lupin seated himself across from the two best friends, with his back facing Snape, and quickly opened a book. Snape's mouth twisted into a half-smile; he really did have something in common with the werewolf. He'd never really bothered to pay attention to the Marauders unless they were teasing him, and now he was noticing things that should have been obvious. They were not all like James as he had assumed. Peter was worse; he had not the patience to sit quietly as the others did, but fidgeted for a few minutes, and then rose and left. Black and Lupin, however, remained faithfully by James's side, Remus busily flipping through pages of homework, and Sirius gazing off into the distance. James had a book open before him, but it was all too clear that he was not really seeing what was on the pages. Snape, deciding that there was nothing more to watch, and disgusted with himself both for being so nosy and intrusive, and for lowering himself to the point of eavesdropping on the Marauders, turned to go back to his own table. However, he tripped on the corner of the bookshelf, and the sound was amplified in the silence of the library. Two of the Marauders did not notice, but Sirius glanced away from the window, and caught sight of Severus. Their eyes met, and Sirius's flashed merrily, almost like a greeting. Severus froze in horror as Sirius turned to James. Potter was already angry enough, he didn't want yet another confrontation before their detention together. But James's face did not change, he simply nodded, and Sirius stood up, beginning to walk towards Snape's bookcase. Snape shrank back against the high rows of books.

"Hello, Sniv- uh, Snape. Found anything good to read?" Sirius's voice was sarcastic, he knew that Snape hadn't been picking out books. But he's not angry, realized Severus with surprise. Stepping out towards Black, Severus tried to discreetly see if James was looking at them. "Don't worry about him," assured Sirius, "he's in his own world, he won't pay us any attention, and I'm not here to hex you. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not James. I just wanted to talk, and it looked like you did, too. James isn't very conversational today."

"Because of his Quidditch match, right? I am sorry that he has to miss it. But that doesn't mean it's my fault, he the one who-"

"Sure, I know it isn't." Sirius shrugged, and Snape saw that he didn't need to defend himself. "But," grinned Sirius, "you aren't much more talkative than he was." Sirius's brow wrinkled, and he appeared to be trying to recollect something. Then comprehension smoothed the features of his face, and his expressive eyes lit up with understanding. "This is your first detention, isn't it? Of course it is. Aw, don't worry. I remember Remus's first. He acted a lot like you. But he survived it. And he's the perfect prefect." Severus was still apprehensive, but with Sirius there, the atmosphere was just the slightest bit lighter. He was able to smile in return. And, standing there, Sirius laughing with him, not at him, Severus came to a decision. His face grew sincere.

"About Remus… I know what he is. And I'm not going to tell anyone now. I did tell someone, though, before…" Snape trailed off as he saw Sirius become tense, his mouth tightening into a hard line.

"Who?" Sirius asked tersely.

"Lily Evans. I think she believes me, even though she won't say so. But it doesn't matter to her. She honestly doesn't care. And I - I don't care either."

Snape was expecting anger, after all, he'd spilled Lupin's secret, and if the Marauders were anything, they were faithful to their friends. But he wasn't prepared for Sirius to reach out and take hold of his shoulders firmly. It was too late to pull away, to flinch out from underneath Black's tight grasp. But then Severus looked up into Sirius's face, and saw that he was beaming. "You mean it? You really mean it?" Sirius asked excitedly, amazed.

"I do," assured Severus, relieved that Sirius wasn't mad at all, and ecstatic that Sirius was glad, glad that they could be friends now. "Does that mean you won't hate me anymore, now that I don't hate you and your friends? Would they ever give me a chance to get to know them?"

"I never hated you. And Remus doesn't, either. But James… he'll be pleased, of course, that you won't tell about Moony, but what James has against you is something else entirely." Sirius stopped, suddenly hesitant.

"What is it?"

"James has a crush on Evans. Or perhaps it's a lot more than a crush. But Lily entirely ignores him, and she's best friends with you. James is infatuated with her; you can't even imagine how much he loves her. How can you blame him for being envious?"

"Envious? Of me?" asked Severus, bewildered and incredulous, thinking of how he could understand how much James loved the girl - because he loved kind, sweet Lily Evans, too. "Lily and I… we're just friends. That's all. James doesn't need to envy me." Severus admitted, hoping that Sirius didn't hear the touch of disappointment in his voice as he spoke.

But Sirius was too perceptive, too alert, and too kind to not notice Snape's embarrassment and discomfort. He quickly shifted the focus of the conversation away. "That's why James is so quiet, though. It's not really the Quidditch match that's the problem. Lily asked him not to hex you, and he didn't listen - he feels guilty." Snape raised an eyebrow skeptically. The idea of James being guilty about anything was foreign to him. Sirius sighed impatiently. "I told you yesterday, James is different when you get to know him. It may not look like it, but there are actually things that he cares about. But he's probably wondering where I've gotten to. I told him I was going to look for a book on, um -" Sirius glanced up at the sign over the bookshelf, "- the Unforgivable Curses. I'd like to talk to you again later today, though. Would you meet me outside, this afternoon?" Snape nodded eagerly. He was grateful to be able to spend these especially tedious hours of waiting with somebody else. He knew that Lily would have kept him company if he asked, but he didn't want to seem like a weakling, always running to her when something went wrong. "Alright. See you later, then, Sev," grinned Sirius.

Snape hesitated a moment, then blurted out, "Bye, Padfoot!" Sirius laughed and winked. As he walked away, Snape was happier than he'd been in a while. It was good to be able to look forward to an afternoon with Sirius Black.

A/N: Reviews mean the world to me, I'd love to know what you think.