Disclaimer: Bleach does not belong to me.
WARNING - SMUT. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT! THANKS!
XX
UNHOLY
XX
I should be thinking about what was wrong with Ichigo but my only conclusion was that he was grown up. He was around 22 now and he probably had many relations with other women. How else could he be so good at kissing me defenceless? How else could he be so good at taking command of my body?
My face grew hot.
I need to think about something else.
Something worse - like lying to Ichigo.
When he asked me if there was someone else, I wasn't a hundred percent truthful.
There was Renji.
Sort of.
I mean, I think we've been on a date or two. I know I'm naïve when it comes to these matters, but he kissed me twice; once on the cheek, and the other on the lips. That was when I realized that he liked me more than a friend.
I always thought we were family. He was a brother who grew up with me. But he kissed me on the mouth, chastely, briefly, gently. That wasn't too long ago. And so…this tidbit made the day more difficult; I actually frowned when Renji approached me. Though, when he smiled at me it was easy to return the sentiment.
"Rukia."
"Hi Renji."
He found me sitting in Nii-sama's garden as I was waiting for Ichigo and Nii-sama to return. I had no idea where they went to; I hope they didn't kill each other.
"A penny for your thoughts?"
My eyebrows rose at his question and then Renji neared me closely, sitting beside me on the bench. We were surrounded by flowers of assorted colours—pale white, vibrant rose, pastel lilac, luscious orange, indigo blue—minus the ebony marble pathway on my left that led to the Kuchiki Mansion. It would take about forty paces to reach the closest entrance of the Nii-sama's abode. My home.
My lips smoothed to a line; my eyes locked on a bee foraging on a red hibiscus across from me. "Do you know where Nii-sama is?"
Renji stretched his arms, resting his left near my shoulder. Although he was trying to be slick and sly, I noticed the action. "Actually, that's why I came here. He was supposed to meet me an hour ago but he never showed up. That's not like your brother. Usually I'm late." He chuckled a bit, turning his body to face me. Then he grew silent, probably because he could see the seriousness on my face.
"Nii-sama is with Ichigo."
"Ichigo?" The tone of disbelief made it clear that Renji was surprised at the news. I wondered if he felt threatened albeit Renji and Ichigo were friends.
My head rocked forward and back; my eyes still affixed to the buzzing bee hovering to another flower. "Ichigo came this afternoon. He visited me first." My throat tightened, and I skipped over some details. "Nii-sama showed up and he wanted to talk to Ichigo alone." I stopped suddenly, turning to face my brother's Vice Captain. "I'm still waiting for them to return."
The moment I said those words – to return – I felt Ichigo close by. I wondered if Ichigo was the victor or the loser; if Nii-sama punished or allowed Ichigo's brash behaviour. I placed a hand on Renji's in panic and partly in retaliation, in case Ichigo won.
Renji took my hand, and he squeezed. I don't think Renji understood why. I don't know if he could feel Ichigo, but I was glad Renji was there when Ichigo showed up.
With tattered clothes and white bandages around his torso, a half-naked Ichigo emerged from the flowers. He didn't look happy.
I squeezed Renji's hand tighter.
XX
The Kuchiki garden was a plethora of flowers and life. In the center I found her – the brightest flower of all – with another man.
Her face looked worried. She tried to hide it by glazing that Kuchiki mask over her expression. Since she was away from me all of these years, it was probably easier for her to do that but I don't plan leaving her anytime soon.
When I was within hearing distance, Rukia asked me, "Where's Nii-sama?"
I looked at her tight lips. I looked where her hands were. I rolled my eyes. "You think I killed your brother?"
She gave me a look that seemed to say, "Yes." Renji looked at me strangely too like I was someone different. He wasn't that stupid as I remembered.
"No, I didn't. What makes you think that?" I rebuffed, standing in front of them.
I really thought there was a part of her that feared me. And she never feared me before. My frown felt heavy and I sighed when she said, "Nothing."
"Wait, you were in a fight with the Captain?" Renji asked, eyes widening. The big tip off must have been the bandages and my sword in hand. I usually don't parade around half-naked, though judging by Rukia's reaction earlier, maybe I should. Without shame, I began to unwrap the pink-white bandages from my torso and said, "Yes and no." I didn't explain and the confusion showed on both of their faces.
"What does that mean?"
Then their faces seemed surprised that there was no scratch or bruise on my body.
Self-regeneration has its perks.
"First we talked. And then I reminded him how strong I was." I was kind of rusty too but I managed.
"So you guys did fight," Renji said. "Should I even ask why?"
I dropped my sword to the floor and pointed a finger at her. "Over the same thing when I first met you, Renji. Rukia."
The woman shook her head a bit, as if dismissing her importance. "Is Nii-sama okay?"
"He's fine. He went back to the division looking for Renji."
And just like that, I made an opening for Renji to leave us alone. Renji looked back at Rukia, as if silently asking for her permission. She glanced up at me and back to him, nodding. Soon, the Vice-Captain was gone and I waited to approach her. "Did you tell Renji?"
"I told him some things."
"Did you tell him why his precious Captain and I were fighting?"
Did she tell him that I tainted her? Did she tell him that she was no longer pure? Did she tell him that she was mine?
Rukia shook her head. "Isn't that our business? He didn't even know you were fighting with Nii-sama."
Her bitch-façade was making a comeback. So I asked her, "Do you usually hold hands with your friends?"
She sort of smirked at me, suddenly bold. It reminded me when I first met her and I was only a lowly human and she drew that stupid moustache on my face. "He's not just a friend." Maybe she wasn't as afraid of me as I thought.
"What is he then? Your boyfriend?" I felt my eye twitched and I didn't like that.
"N-no. Maybe. Yes."
"Liar."
"I don't know what we are."
"Because he's too much of a pussy to tell you anything, or do anything."
"He's a gentleman!"
I snorted loudly, though deep down I was amused that her eyes had trouble staying on my face, again. "I like the guy but sometimes you need to take direct approaches."
She stood up from the bench. The way her face scrunched up with indignation was cute…hot—something I wanted to taste. "Some people just aren't as brash and uncouth as you, okay?"
"I've waited six fricken years Rukia! That's plenty of time!"
"Renji waited decades and decades!"
"Because he's a pussy! Just because you're a shinigami, it doesn't mean you're going to live forever!"
And just like that we were fighting like we used to. It was nice actually because it was something that was the same between us. Normal.
And it was making me excited.
Again.
Fuck.
Not hard, yet. Thank god.
"Ichigo!"
"What!"
She was suddenly in front of me, eyebrows knitted together. "Did you hear me?"
"No."
She hit me in the head, an action she hadn't done in a long time.
"Ow, why did you do that?" It didn't really hurt that much but still, some habits were hard to break.
"For not paying attention, fool."
That was another thing so familiar – fool.
Shit, I was close to getting hard.
"Let's go back," I said next, my hands on her shoulders. I've done this several times before. I've done this to calm her down. I've done this when I needed her. I've done this to feel her without making her uncomfortable. Right now, I was doing this because of all the above.
One of her tiny eyebrows quirked upwards. Her lips were tight and tensed. "Back where? To the Living World?"
"Yeah." Sensing her insecurity, I made a small smile and begged, "Please?"
XX
When he said, "Please?" and gave me that look, it was hard to say no.
His handsome face was arrogant but this time his eyes looked soft, like he was broken.
That was an hour ago. My mistake was calling his place small, and he accused me to stop comparing his home to Nii-sama's.
I swore he said that to me ages ago.
But it was nice and neat. Once crossing the main door, a closet was to the immediate right. On the left situated a bathroom that was surprisingly a decent size because it included a bathtub. Walking four paces inside, I was in the kitchen and he had a small two-chaired wooden table for meals. After the kitchen there was a small area for his television and a sofa. His bedroom adjoined from the kitchen as well.
Everything in his apartment was boyish. The walls were painted in blues, greens and white. The furniture was dark, except the sofa, which was prune-purple. His bedroom was interesting that two walls were dark purple, black without light. The two smaller walls were a peachy, white colour. His bed was well-made in dark blue linens decorated by orange and white plaid lines. There was another closet to the left side of the room. I joked I had a place to sleep.
He gave me a funny look, almost deadpanned, which I ignored.
To some degree, I was impressed. I thought he spent a lot of time here since the apartment smelled very much like him. Or maybe I was just too close to him.
"Are you going to call Chad over? Or…" When I turned, he was gone, busy in the kitchen. Yes, I did expect the whole gang to come over, but I was wrong. Instead, Ichigo made dinner for us – pasta and meatballs – and we were on the sofa, talking and watching television.
"I wonder if Chappy and Friends is still on." I tried to snatch the remote from him but he kept it to himself.
"They are, but there's no way in hell we're watching that."
I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. Then I watched him closely, memorizing his painfully handsome profile. I wondered if I could make him uncomfortable; I wondered if I could make him feel what I felt with my eyes alone.
"You know, the last time we were like this was the last night you were with me." He turned to look at me and I thought I couldn't make him feel uneasy with my eyes alone.
"We don't have to talk about it," I started and I scooted away from him as unnoticeably as I could.
He caught my arm.
I yelped.
He laughed a little, his arrogant smile stretching ear to ear. "Then what do you want to talk about? I know you have a lot of questions."
I relaxed and once he released me, I was tempted to cast a kido spell on him. And then maybe run away. I started with a question instead, "Why did you bring me here?"
"No one can interrupt us."
And he was right; there were so many questions and no one could stop him if he'd try something else again. "What really happened between you and Nii-sama? Besides a fight."
"Yeah." I noticed his fingers in his hair, scratching his scalp. It made me almost prepared for his next statement. "Marriage came up."
It was my turn to deadpan. "Marriage? Mine?"
"Ours."
I remained motionless and incapable of thinking. He said it before but I wasn't sure if I heard correctly.
Ichigo continued, "Since I was defiling his sister—"
"Now you're lying."
"Hey it was mentioned in our conversation."
"Tell me the truth, Ichigo."
His smile seemed more honest now; I hoped as honest as his words. "He wanted me to properly court you if I was seriously interested in you. Then we fought and I told him you're mine but I respect you so I will."
"Oh."
Ichigo held my chin with his fingers. "Next question."
"What are we doing? I mean, we haven't seen each other in six years and you come and you kiss me and you…you…"
"I what?"
He was enjoying how this was making me flustered. I was more than a hundred years older than him and yet he taking pleasure at my…modesty. "You know what I'm talking about."
"Isn't it obvious? I already told you, I chose you. I want you. How much clearer do I have to be?"
The coolness he had was beginning to fade at my feeble attempts to play stupid. I really wasn't trying to act stupid but I couldn't believe it really. How could he just decide he wanted me? Me of all people!?
Then his hands were on my face and my eyes were fixated to his. "You really don't understand. You were always this," he paused, searching for the right word, "magnet in my life. I thought staying away from you would protect you so I'm sorry."
Protect me? "Protect me from what exactly?"
"Me."
He was still watching me, like how I used to look at a new human contraption.
"You said you enjoyed me."
He nodded and wetted his lips. The Ichigo that I recaptured in the past hour or so was gone and the one I newly met took force. "I do. Only you. Other girls don't smell the way you do."
"Like I'm yours?" I blinked and winced at the same time. Ichigo was a passionate person but with passion towards me I seemed to distrust it.
He nodded again. "Other girls don't taste like you either."
I wanted to ask, "Like what?" but his lips were above mine.
Ichigo asked, "Don't you enjoy me?"
Shamelessly, truthfully, I breathed, "Yes."
His lips smiled and he kissed me again. He was gentle and slow, like a gentleman, but not chaste or boring. He kissed along my jaw with sure deliverance and I was in his lap, pulling his hair behind his ears. He blew a kiss near my ear and he asked, "Can I have you? I'm being nice this time."
"Yes."
My dress floated onto the floor. His clothes soon disappeared. Ichigo was deliberately tender this time, slow, unhurried, as if in apology. Or perhaps it was because we were in his home and he had all time to enjoy me—the thought was there and I squirmed.
In between breaths I asked, "Why do you look at me like that?"
"Like what?" he asked, lifting me up with an arm.
I made my escape on his bed when I had the chance and frowned. "That look. Your eyes get darker."
He was frozen at the door, smiling. "I think that's called lust."
The look I was talking about was the most intense looks I've seen him use. It was like the battle face except murky and hot at the same time. It was like the sun was eclipsed and in came the devil.
"You look like a little rabbit," Ichigo commented, breaking my thought. I noticed a small grin ghosting his lips. I shivered. Maybe in fear but I think partly in excitement.
"Is that an insult because you know I like rabbits? But you hate them, so I guess it's an insult."
He was suddenly in front of me and pressed a finger to my lips, hushing me. "You look like an innocent rabbit, my prey."
Before I could voice any words, he silenced me with a kiss before pushing me down. It didn't surprise me that we ended up tangled in bed sheets, rolling naked. There was voracity to his kisses and touches now like the other times, like he wanted me to be part of him. His tongue was more thorough, licking down my stomach, outlining the ridge of my navel, exploring my wet jewels.
He licked softly, like a baby animal tasting what it was, and to determine if it was safe to eat. He licked again, knowing it was safe and he savoured every stroke. Then eventually his licks became rough, his gulosity warranting him to relish each drop. The next step involved teeth. Biting and tugging, I moaned louder and louder, and he was licking again, in and out, as if fishing for something precious inside.
At that point, the heat on my face was so powerful it felt like scintillating fires. My hands clawed in the sheets. I hated that he made me so vocal but I couldn't help it.
With a final lick from back to front, I shivered, convulsed, screamed, and he showed me his shining face.
"You were so good."
His eyes seemed shinier, unbroken, alive. I coiled my arms around his neck and he pulled me on his lap.
"Dance on me," he breathed in my hair, as he held me to his body.
"How?" I was in a haze and I would do anything he wanted.
"Move your hips."
Ichigo started to show me by guiding my waist in circles till he was fully inside of me.
I moved against him in small ellipses before lifting myself up and over him again. And it felt good. Where I felt empty, he filled me. And doing this over and over, the good feeling was growing stronger and so heated that the sweat began to drip down my back, my sides, my neck.
"What is Renji to you?" Ichigo asked when my arms tightened around him. His voice was cold, husky-toned, and his fingers dug in my hips.
I grounded myself on him, a groan fleeting from my mouth. "The man I'm not…fucking." Ichigo's language was already rubbing off on me.
He helped hoist me up and pulled me down again. "Try again."
I repeated the motion, my hands on his shoulders now. "The man who's not you."
He didn't lift me but rather sat on his knees suddenly that I fell on my back. As I gasped, he said, "Try again."
I cried then when he shoved himself inside of me furiously. "The man," I gasped, "who can't have me."
He seemed to like this answer because he flashed a smile but his gentle manner began to dissipate. With each frenetic shove I felt as if he was trying to break me on the inside. He was determined. He was in a craze. He was watching me with such a miasma that I wondered—
I wondered if I was going to pass out.
I wondered if I was going to bleed again.
The answer, yes and yes. The world went white after inerrable euphoria possessed my body. I was sore and there was blood along my breasts. Minimal, but it was there.
Ichigo made me feel blinding pleasure however. He made me feel so many things. Yet the greatest question I wondered was what happened to Kurosaki Ichigo.
What exactly happened to the man in my heart?
XX
Author's Note: Most sincere apologizes for lateness and possible writing errors. I need a beta-reader for my IchiRuki stories (see my profile). PM or note in the review if you're interested. I actually haven't written anything in months (I still can't find my memory stick and Bleach is uninspiring right now and I have other creative outputs)… um, beta-ing shouldn't be big workload lol. Regarding me not writing anymore, this story is practically completed though so no worries on that.
Reviews are always asked for and appreciated.