Grimmjow's Emo-lution

Ulquiorra was very distressed about Grimmjow's emo rating of Absolute Zero. He decided to complete an "emo-lution" on him. The first step? Catching the kitty.

Once that was taken care of, Ulquiorra happily grabbed an Expo marker and began drawing on Grimmjow's face... But he still wasn't satisfied.

"Your hair is too blue. I will recolor it for you." Grimmjow's shriek of rage could be heard all the way in Soul Society as he broke free of his bonds and started running. Very, very fast.

Ulquiorra couldn't catch up, so he decided to visit Orihime for a break to rest a little while. As he walked in the door, she rushed at him holding a bowl of soup. "Ulquiorra, your soup is ready!"

Incredulously, he stared at her, then replied, "Emos don't drink soup..." (It was fear of the soup itself that drove him to this...we all know what Orihime's cooking is like.)

Orihime stared at him. And stared. And stared. And then...

"YOU WILL DRINK YOUR SOUP AND DRINK IT WELL, DAMN YOU ULQUIORRA!"

*Ulquiorra melts into a little pile of sludge* "Yes, my dear Orihime," he whimpers in fear. Peeping from a window is Yumichika: "So beautiful, even in anger! Squee!"

Immediately Ulquiorra unmelts back into his regular self, grabbing Yumichika and dragging him to the Human World.
Ulquiorra raised his hand. "Stop. Orihime is MINE."

"Oh yea? My zanpakutou can kick your butt, and then she'll be mine! So beautiful! Squee!"
Back in Hueco Mundo, Orihime sneezed violently.

Yumichika prepared to use his full Shikai. Just then Kenpachi was racing toward them, as he had felt the powerful spirit pressure of Ulquiorra.

"There's Yumichika! Wait...WHAT IN BLUE PANCAKES IS HE DOING?"

Once the business with Yumichika was finished, Ulquiorra had a sudden Emo Inspiration Attack and raced back to Orihime...

After a traumatic experience with Orihime and her...ahem...roundness, shall we say, Grimmjow was back in the "Torture Room," complete with bluish-black hair, black-dyed eyebrows, and Expo-marker-drawn Ulquiorra Tear-marks and whiskers. As Ulquiorra held up the mirror, Grimmjow increased his killing intent until it was at 100%. While Ulquiorra was complimenting his emo-ness, "Take a look at your new awesome emo self!" The weak wooden post Grimmjow was attached to shook with his anger. Catastrophe is soon to come...

Bleach is not mine and never will be, first of all.

And sorry to emo people.