Michiru couldn't quite remember the last time she had been so angry.
She had been upset when she had come home to find her husband in bed with his special guest, as the housekeeper had called him, and some of that had come back when she had talked to him afterwards; but then he had reassured her that it wouldn't happen again, and she had calmed down again, aided considerably by what Haruka and she had done in the back of the limousine hours earlier.
His promise that it wouldn't happen again had lasted for almost two full weeks, days during which she had noticed nothing of what he did with his special friend and days during which he had noticed nothing of what she did with Haruka, either – and then, she had come home from a vernissage at the gallery where she'd show her art quite soon, and had heard noises from their bedroom which were impossible to mistake for anything but sex.
Just as she had told Haruka the first time this had happened, it wasn't the cheating which made her so angry – their marriage was practically a sham, after all, decided by their families to stop certain rumours about their preferences – but the lack of respect it showed to her and her wishes; after all, she angrily thought to herself as she made her way back downstairs, fighting down the urge to stomp down the stairway, she was considerate enough to not take Haruka to the bedroom, even when her husband wasn't around, but to keep their time together limited to the back of the limousine, even though she constantly feared that Haruka might tire of this and tell her to find someone else who'd take care of her needs like this.
Now that she had made it to the bottom of the stairs, she wasn't sure where else to go; the bedroom, or even the whole first floor, was not an option, not as long as her hubby dearest was up there with his guest, a fact which now made her regret that her studio was up there, as well, making it impossible for her to find comfort in her painting.
For a few moments, she remained standing at the bottom of the stairs, then finally got moving, making her way to the front door; it was raining outside by now, a change in the weather which apparently had happened in the few minutes since she had come home, but one which didn't stop her, the small roof above the front door protecting her from the rain as she sat down on the stairs and stared out into the night.
Once again, she found herself wondering why she had let it happen to be strong-armed into this marriage, just so her family wouldn't have to deal with the world knowing that she was gay; she knew that her husband had been forced into this just the way it had been done to her, but that knowledge didn't make accepting the way he behaved any easier.
As if nature had decided that she wasn't miserable enough yet, a sudden gust of wind came up, sending just enough raindrops her way to make her shiver with the cold; still she didn't want to go back inside, not willing to do so until her husband's special guest was out of their shared bedroom.
You better hope they don't fall asleep in there after they are done, she thought to herself with another grimace, you can't sit out here all night.
At least, she told herself somewhat bitterly, it was past midnight already, so perhaps, she might be lucky and get to go back inside earlier than she thought right now; and just when she shifted on the cold ground to get more comfortable, not caring that she dirtied her dress, Haruka spoke up to her right, startling her enough to make her flinch.
"Michiru?" the blonde wanted to know, sounding surprised, "what are you doing out here? Did something happen?"
Shrugging, Michiru craned her neck to look up at her; she still was wearing the buttoned white shirt and the black slacks from the driver's uniform, she noticed, but the jacket and the cap were gone, the sleeves of the shirt rolled up to her elbows, giving her a look much more casual than Michiru was used to.
"My husband is entertaining a guest", Michiru let her know, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice, prompting Haruka to raise an eyebrow, "and while my behaviour might seem petty or even childish, I do not feel like waiting inside until he is done."
"Ah", Haruka let out in response, not appearing all too surprised anymore, not after what Michiru had told her about her marriage and her husband, "well… That makes sense, kinda, but you're gonna catch your death out here. Wanna come to my room with me?"
Momentarily, Michiru was startled, not having expected this offer at all; then, before she could change her mind, she nodded, telling herself that it was her house as much as her husband's and that she could hang out in the staff rooms if she wanted to, without having to justify it to anyone.
"You'll have to lead the way, I'm afraid", she told Haruka as she got up from her seat on the cold ground, "while I am not certain what this might say about me, I have no idea where your room is located."
If Haruka had any negative thoughts about this, she didn't articulate them, but just smirked and shrugged, then let Michiru know it was no problem; Michiru gave her a brief, half-hearted smile, pulling her head between her shoulders in a rather useless attempt to protect herself from the rain when Haruka started leading the way, away from the front door and to one of the side entrances, the smaller woman close behind her.
At least, she told herself as they reached the staff rooms, the area of the house was just as nice as the rest of it; and even though Haruka's room was rather sparse, with just a bed, a table with two chairs and a small cupboard, Michiru figured that the blonde was content with it, considering that she didn't live at the house all the time, but only spent the night when she was on driving duty.
"I can get us something from the kitchen if you like", the blonde distracted her from those ponderings, making her glance at her, "something to drink or a snack or both?"
"No thank you", Michiru replied, feeling a bit awkward all of a sudden, not sure if she should sit down at the table or on the bed; part of her knew that this was irrational, she had slept with Haruka several times by now and so this shouldn't be so weird, but still she found herself unable to stop feeling this way, picking up one of the paperbacks Haruka had stacked on the table just to keep her hands busy.
"So", Haruka distracted her yet again, making her put the book back on the table before she could get more than a quick glimpse at it, "you want to talk about what happened?"
"Not really, no", Michiru let her know with a small sigh, simultaneously deciding that the bed looked more comfortable than the chair and moving to sit on it, "I'd just like to stay here until his special guest is gone. Only if you don't mind, of course."
"Of course I don't", Haruka told her at once, making her smile slightly, her smile widening when the blonde moved to sit down next to her, "but, if I can be honest, I hope you don't want to go anywhere early tomorrow morning, then."
"No worries there", Michiru reassured her, making her smile back at her – only for the smile to vanish within the blink of an eye at what the smaller woman blurted out next, the words having left her mouth before she could've even attempted to stop them. "Do you like me?"
"Uhm, what?" Haruka gave back, not all too smart, but not quite sure if she had heard her right; Michiru flushed visibly in response, clearing her throat and looking decidedly uncomfortable, but repeating the question, knowing that the blonde had understood her perfectly well and that backing down now wasn't an option.
"Don't hesitate to be honest", she added when Haruka just stared at her, flabbergasted, "I'm not going to fire you if you tell me what you think I might not want to hear."
"We've had sex in the back of that limo a dozen times by now", the blonde pointed out in response, after a few more moments of silence to sort her thoughts, "you think I would have done that if I didn't like you?"
"I don't know", Michiru replied, for once not veiling her words, the way she did with everyone else she spoke to, "I mean no offense, Haruka, but in my circles, people often do things they do not want to do, for their own advantage and gain. Sleeping with persons they do not like is part of that, for some."
She only started to feel more uncomfortable when Haruka just looked at her, her face impossible to read and making Michiru realize how little she actually knew her driver; the seconds ticked by, each of them making her feel worse and worse, making the silence between them more oppressive, until she felt as if it would suffocate her any second now.
And then, just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, that she had to say something to break this, Haruka closed the gap between them, small as it already was, and kissed her, a tender and gentle and slow kiss which made her heart skip a beat.
"Does that answer your question?" Haruka murmured after they had pulled apart again, her voice barely above a whisper; all Michiru could do was nod as an answer, her throat suddenly tight and her heart clenching up painfully.
"I wish", she started, then heard how close to cracking her voice was and fell silent again, taking a heavy breath before she tried again, "I wish I had met you before I married him…"
This time, it was Haruka who was at a loss for words; she handled it better than Michiru though, the smaller woman had to admit to herself, making sure that things wouldn't get uncomfortable by simply wrapping both arms around her, only tightening her embrace when she felt Michiru tremble slightly in her arms.
As she returned the embrace, Michiru felt sudden tears burn in her eyes, glad that her face was now hidden against Haruka's shoulder so the driver wouldn't notice; she couldn't remember the last time she had been held like this, but couldn't care less about what this said about her family and so-called friends, too overwhelmed by how good the hug felt to allow such dark thoughts.
"I'm sorry", she mumbled as she finally pulled back from the embrace, glad that at least, she had gotten the urge to cry under control, even though her voice still trembled slightly, just enough to let Haruka notice, "it's almost two a.m. and here I am, keeping you awake with my troubles…"
"No problem", the driver let her know, giving her a smile which, had she not been sitting already, would have made her decidedly weak in the knees, "I'm glad if I could help."
"You did", Michiru reassured her at once, smiling again when the taller woman put one arm around her shoulders and pulled her a bit closer again, prompting her to snuggle up to her after a moment of wondering if doing so would be okay, "I really needed this. Thank you."
"No problem", Haruka repeated, making the smaller woman smile at her once more – before she leaned in for another kiss, just as gentle as the one they had shared a few minutes ago, her unhappiness with her life for the moment forgotten as she fully focused on Haruka, on how the blonde was making her feel, the way her heart raced in her chest and her lips tingled where those of the taller woman touched them pushing everything else far, far away.
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace
Within Temptation – All I Need