Another chapter for you... Have fun reading it... it's night at the hospital... what will happen?
CHAPTER 3 – Irresistible – Carlisle's POV
I heard Esme sigh in the darkness of the room. My fingers gripped the handle tight and I was fighting the urge to get back inside to her. I could not. I must not. I turned away from her door. Luckily another patient had just gotten in and I had a distraction… but not such a fascinating one as Esme.
After I had taken care of the patient there was not much left do to. Of course I could do some paperwork but I didn't really want to and so I just walked along the corridor. The hospital was very calm at night. I liked this. Not because I had nothing to do but because this meant that less people were ill. I passed Esmes door again and stopped to listen to her sleeping. Her breath was steady and calm. I smiled. I imagined her lying in the bed, her toffee coloured curls laying across the pillow, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted in her dreams. I wanted to see this. I wanted to know how she looked like. Before I had realised it, my hands hold the handle and I opened the door.
The room was dark but I could see everything. Esme was asleep; she had a peaceful expression on her face. Her lips were curled up in a soft smile. To have something to do and calm my bad conscious that I was spying on that young woman, I checked on her leg. The ice was melted and the water inside the bag hardly cooled her anymore. I thought about the idea to get some more ice, but decided against it. What if she would wake up when I placed it on her leg? I took one step back and watched Esme. I should leave but something drew me to her like a magnet.
Esme turned in her sleep but stopped when her leg probably protested with pain. I heard the whimper that escaped her lips. In an instant I was next to her. My hand lay on the side of her face before I had realised it. She sighed again. Of course! My hands are icy! I will wake her up! But Esme did not wake up. She slept on. I did not know if it was my imagination but her breath seemed to be even calmer than before. Now that I had started touching her I did not know how to end it. Her skin was soft and warm.
I thought about when I had taken care of her leg. She had said nothing about my cold hands, nothing bad. She liked them. I smiled. My hand stroked her face and I tugged the blanket higher over her shoulders. She should not freeze. Esme sighed in her sleep. I pulled my hand away and leaned against the wall. The hospital was completely silent and no one would notice me here.
I spent half of the night watching Esme in her sleep. The way her forehead furrowed when she dreamed. What would I give for knowing what was on her mind now!
When it dawned and my shift came to an end I had to leave. I stroked her face in goodbye, then I got into my office to take my coat and went home.
When I opened the door the sun just crept over the horizon. I got inside and went into my study. It was my favourite room because I had nothing to fake here. Bookshelves stood at the walls, a comfy armchair stood next to the window behind a wooden desk. I took one of the books from the shelf and sat down in the chair. But my mind didn't want to focus on the letters. It drifted away to a young woman in the hospital. It was dangerous to stay close to her. She affected me more than any human, any creature, had in centuries. Her blood was tempting me but her whole behaviour also appealed to me. She was so innocent and natural, and brave. She did not cry, even when I set her leg only one tear escaped her eyes. I had never met a person like her. And I wanted to get to know her better though I knew how wrong it was. To form relations with humans was always a great risk and I was normally a responsible person but I was lonely. Had been lonely for a long time. I had no friends and no one to talk. My only companions were my books and the only persons I know closer where the doctors and nurses at the hospital. And especially the females were really annoying.
Esme was different. Of course I heard her heartbeat accelerating when I was near her but strangely I felt similar. Of course my heard was frozen and did not beat but I was absolutely sure it would. It was like a connection between us. I loved her honesty, how she told me about climbing trees and reading. She was not a lady but I liked it. She had her own mind. I sighed and put the book aside. It was hopeless to try to concentrate on the text. I glanced at my watch. My next shift would not start for another ten hours. Great! It was crazy to want to see her again and it was dangerous if she know me too well. She could guess some things. It was part of my life to be distant and now I sat here thinking about letting her knowing me! The best thing for both of us would be if I called in sick for the next days until she was gone. But I knew I would not. I was too eager to see her face again. Talk to her. Make her smile. God! I was mad! What I really needed right now was a long run until I could think straight again! But it was sunny outside, so I was stuck here in my study, stuck with my torturing thoughts. I got up and started walking around in the house. After a while I sat down again just to start walking again.
I was restless. Pacing up and down my study, watching the hours dragging by in a terrible slow pace. My mind screamed at me to go away. To leave her and never turn back. To forget her for her own good and for my own but my heart, my frozen, cold heart yearned for her, for friendship, for being who I am. But I must not. It was dangerous. I had friends, only friends of my own kind though, spread across the planet but I did not want to live with them. I only knew one family who lived on the same diet as I did but I couldn't even live with them. I didn't know why. But I couldn't. Maybe I was destined to be alone for eternity.
The clock ticked and slowly the sky was darkening. As soon as the sun had set I literally jumped into my clothes, took my coat and ran towards the hospital. My shift would not start for another two hours but I wanted to make a quick check-up on a special patient of mine. Quick! Remember that! You only visit her and then you will excuse yourself and go! That was what I had been telling me for hours. I would look for her and then take the next days off until I was sure she was gone again. One of my colleagues would take her as their patient and I would never have to see her again.
I slowed down to a human pace when I stepped onto the street. It was not far to the hospital. I could see the red brick building about a quarter of a mile in front of me. No matter what I told myself I wanted to see her again. I walked a little faster…
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