HEEY! So this is the last chapter! I hope you enjoy it!

DISCLAIMER: i dont own anything. you know the drill.

I woke up to my alarm and a new text message from Abe-kun.

[Wake up.]

There was no phone call this time. Was... was he that mad at me that he could barely talk to me? No… I did tell him that he didn't have to call me. I told him that I can do this on my own. Maybe he's trusting me to do what I need to do instead of having me rely on him for everything… or maybe he just doesn't care anymore.

I couldn't think about this. I got dressed hurriedly, shoved my phone into my backpack, and went downstairs. I didn't see my mom, but that was okay because I could do this by myself.

I shoved everything that looked the least bit appetizing into my backpack and called it a lunch, and I grabbed… something for breakfast. I couldn't really tell what I was eating, but I ate it anyways. I didn't have time.

When I got to school, Abe-kun was already there. 'Calm down, calm down, its nothing, he's probably not all that upset, calm down, what if he is upset, what if he already told coach, calm down…' My fingers were already pulling at the hem of my shirt as I walked into the clubroom.

"-don't see the appeal, really." Abe-kun was saying, turning away from a shocked-looking Mizutani-kun.

"But you must have at least once-!"

"MIHASHI!" Tajima-kun yelled, weaving his way through everyone to reach me. He threw his arm over my shoulders like he always did, and acted like he was escorting me to my locker. But, in all actuality, he was leaning over and whispering in my ear: "So, are you going to say something, or what?"

"A-ah… I… I j-just..." I tried to answer as he moved a step away. "I… don't want… mad, so…"

"Got it! Got it!" Tajima-kun said, ruffling my hair so hard and so abruptly that I squawked indignantly. "Later, then, right?" He asked, a grin on his face. I nodded immediately, and he nodded before bounding over to Oki-kun and started to poke his cheek repeatedly. I got dressed hurriedly, and filed out of the club room along with everyone else.

Practice was okay. Abe-kun and I weren't next to each for meditation (but why would we be? He was probably upset at me, or scared, or disgusted, or whatever, I shouldn't have expected anything), and I was the one that had to call him over for pitching practice (what a disaster that was, I couldn't talk right and I could barely stutter out his name, let alone look him in the eyes while I was pitching and I could barely glance at the sign he was giving me because I didn't know if he would be uncomfortable with me looking in that general region knowing that I might have a crush on him). And he didn't talk to me, not at all. I don't know why that bothered me so much, but it did.

Tajima-kun smacked my shoulder when we were all changing in the club room. I don't know why, but he had that grin on his face that he usually gets when he's excited for something. He probably wants me to tell him and… no, no, I can't. Not yet. Not ever, possibly. But… he was waiting for an answer. And… I have one. So why should I wait?

"You're still coming over Monday, right?" Someone said beside me, and I jumped a little, before noticing that it was Tajima-kun.

"Ah, yeah." I said, closing my locker and finishing up buttoning my shirt (my fingers were shaking, but I managed to fit the buttons in). Tajima-kun bounded in front of me, stopping at the club room's door, before jumping up in the air like he just won something.

"Okay!" He answered, grinning widely. "What should we do? I could get a movie from my sister."

"Y-yeah, that sounds… good." I said, following him out.

"Mihashi." Someone said, and I should have known that it was Abe-kun, but I had to look, and it wasn't like I could deny him anything anyways.

"A-A-Abe-kun…" I stuttered, looking anywhere but at him, pressing my fingers together because I didn't trust the way I buttoned my shirt and I thought that one tug would send them all undone. I glanced his way, just slightly, and I noticed that his mouth was open, but no words were coming out. My stomach twisted in knots.

"Nothing. Never mind. Just go… pay attention in class, or something…" He muttered, turning away. I stood there, shocked. Well, not really shocked, more like stunned, because why would he call out to me when he wasn't going to say anything? He probably changed his mind. But why? I felt my heartbeat get faster and faster and thoughts were jumbled up and I couldn't think straight and-

"MIHASHI~ C'mon, we're going to be late!" Tajima-kun whined, tugging at my sleeve. I nodded, and let him pull me out of the clubroom and towards our class. After a while, he let go of me, and walked backwards so he was still facing me as he walked. "What was that all about?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I… I don't…"

"He totally wanted to ask you something! I wonder what he wanted. Do you think it had anything to do with… you know, the thing?" He said, smiling and jumping a little at first, but he lowered his voice a little.

"N-No, I…. I don't think… so." I said, because it couldn't be. What could he possibly have to say to me about that anyways? He was waiting for me to tell him my answer, and it's so twisted, so messed up, and I know what's going to happen the moment I tell him, but I have to tell him soon and yet… I can't tell him to his face. There's no way. The words wouldn't come out right. I can barely think about it, let alone put it into words, especially in front of him.

"WHAT?!" Tajima-kun yelled, shocking me out of my thoughts. "C'mon, tell me you're not serious! Do you really think that he just wanted to tell you to pay attention in class?!" He asked me incredulously, almost pleading for me to see his kind of sense. Even if there was no sense to it. I blinked at him, trying to say something, but I couldn't. He sighed a little, before smiling again. "Fine, never mind. Let's just get to class before we're late!" He said, taking off running.

"H-Hey!" I called, running after him.

I tried paying attention in class, I really did, but there was no chance. What Tajima-kun said got to me. He… couldn't have just wanted to tell me to pay attention, right? I kept on trying to push it away, to actually listen to what they were explaining on the board, but it was almost impossible. I knew this was only going to cause me problems, me not listening, but…

This whole thing was stupid. I didn't want to think about it. It was a mistake, wasn't it? I should not have said that to Abe-kun. I wouldn't have if I hadn't messed up. I wouldn't- we wouldn't- be in this mess if I hadn't messed up. Now Abe-kun is flustered, or at least that's what Tajima-kun says, but I have to take his word for it because I've been trying my hardest not to look at him, and its all my fault.

It was a mistake, but there's nothing I can do about it now. I have to deal with it. Not because I want to, because I wish that this whole thing never happened, but because Abe-kun was expecting me to answer him. And I had to answer him, because I can't say no to Abe-kun, even though this had nothing to do with baseball.

I was dreading practice. I love baseball, I love pitching, I love Nishiura but… Abe-kun's avoiding me. Not… Not really, because he still cares about me. He told me to pay attention in class so not everything is ruined. But, if Tajima-kun was right, Abe-kun's acting weird. Flustered. I haven't noticed. I've been trying so hard to not be noticed that I tried not to notice him. And now that I know I'm going to be looking at him more, which will only make things worse and…

"Are you okay?" Someone asked, making me jerked, and when I looked around, I saw Izumi-kun next to me.

"Ah… f-fine…" I said, looking away from him slightly. His glance felt like Abe-kun's, like he could see right through me and fish out the answers, but at least he wasn't pressing about it. Instead, he sighed, throwing his hands over his head and hooking them behind his head.

"Are you tired? At all?" He asked me, giving me another glance that was a different one than before. I didn't know why he was asking me, but I decided to at least answer.

"Mm-mm." I said as I shook my head, holding on to my bag a little tighter.

"What? Really?!" Izumi-kun asked, his eyes going wide. "Ah, well, I sort of got used to it too, but… practice is getting harder, don't you think?" I nodded, because I had been noticing. Practice was fun, and no one complained about anything, but things have been getting gradually tougher. It was smart, getting things harder piece by piece, instead of all at once, but it was still noticeable.

"IZUMI! MIHASHI!" Someone yelled, and when we turned around, Hanai-kun was jogging towards us. "I've been looking for you guys."

"Why?" Izumi-kun asked, an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest.

"Practice is cancelled today." Hanai-kun said, huffing a little bit.

"Again?" Izumi-kun exclaimed.

"C-Can… celled?" I said, blinking rapidly. Why would they cancel it? And why on such short notice? A thousand questions swirled in my head, but Hanai-kun cut through them.

"Apparently, there was another meeting Momoe-kan and Shiga-sensei had to go to, but they didn't tell them until last minute." He informed us, giving a little shrug at the end.

"You think big shots like those would have their shit together…" Izumi-kun said, adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

"I know, but there's nothing we can do about it, I guess." Hanai-kun said. "I'm probably just going to go home and study a bit m- Mihashi, are you okay?" He asked, cutting himself off as he looked at me.

No. Practice was cancelled. I was worrying for nothing. And I was sort of hoping that practice would get my mind off this whole thing for a little bit before I had to go home. But even then, I was so tired that I could just shower, eat dinner and sleep. But without practice, I have so much time to do nothing… or, my homework, but I don't understand anything… so that leaves worrying about Abe-kun and what I'm going to say to him and…

"Mihashi!" Izumi-kun and Hanai-kun both said, snapping me out of it.

"Ah, Ah… I'm… o-okay…" I said, my hands gripping the front of my shirt. The two of them shared a look, before letting it go.

"Alright, well, I'll see you guys tomorrow." Hanai-kun said, waving slightly as he started walking away.

"See ya."

"Bye!" I said, before looking back at Izumi-kun. "I-I'm… gonna…"

"Gonna go home?" Izumi-kun said, filling in the blanks. "I get it. See ya, Mihashi." He added, smiling a little. He clapped my shoulder before heading the other way, following Hanai-kun.

"B-Bye…" I said, waving at him even though he wasn't looking at me. I sighed, before starting to make my way home.

[To: Abe Takaya]

[From: Mihashi Ren]

[Subject: About Earlier]

[I thought about it and delete delete delete I like you but I don't want you to be delete delete delete I figured out that I do like you delete delete DELETE]

I stared at my phone accusingly, like it was the reason why the words weren't coming out right. It was in front of me as I sat on my bed, and I was staring at the blank message like it was about to kill me. I flopped backwards onto my pillow and threw my arm over my face.

Why is this so difficult? I had no problem saying that I loved him! Well, that was a mistake but… I can't even write it right…

I sighed, lifted my arm up, and looked out my window. I could see my target clearly, and for a moment, I considered pitching. It… wouldn't have been a bad idea. We didn't have practice today so it would be fine if I threw a little, plus it would be a good way to procrastinate this whole thing and settle some of my nerves. Sounds good enough… I rolled off my bed, stumbling a bit before getting my feet firmly on the ground and standing.

I have a bucket of baseballs in the shed… I just need my mitt…

I looked around my room, digging under my bed at least three times and checking the floor for my mitt, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I was just about to check my bag when my phone started ringing. I blinked, and looked over at it cautiously, almost like it was going to bite me or something.

I was nervous. Last time I answered a phone call, I got into all this mess. It… won't happen again. I don't even know who it is, well, I wouldn't know unless I checked. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, before walking over and picking it up. I saw who was calling and answered it immediately.

"H-Hello?"

"MIHASHI! You left without me!" Tajima-kun whined loudly on the other end, and I could practically hear his pout.

"S-Sorry… it was… practice was cancelled, so I… went home." I said, not knowing where to look, so I settled onto my bed and looked out the window.

"It's fine! It's fine! I was just looking for you, that's all!" Tajima-kun said, completely brushing the whole thing off. Which was… kind of weird, because he brought it up in the first place. "Anyways, what are you going to do?" He asked me, changing the topic pretty easily. There was… something about his voice. Almost like he had a million plans running through his head and he wanted me to pick one. I should have been used to it but now, but I guess I'm not. Or maybe it's just because of all this mess in the first place.

"I… I was going to tell him… after practice, but…" I admitted, even though I knew it would have never worked. I mean, that was the plan… wasn't it? It should have been. Isn't these kinds of things better to deal with face to face? I know it would turn out horribly, but I had to try, didn't I?

"OH! Nice!" Tajima-kun said, sounding excited and cutting me off from my thoughts altogether. "Heh, feeling brave, huh?" He asked, chuckling a little. I didn't know how to respond, exactly, so I just nodded and made a little noise (because he couldn't see me nod, and was stupid that I even thought of that being an acceptable answer….). "AW MAN!" He exclaimed suddenly, his voice so loud in my ear that I jumped, almost dropping my phone altogether. I caught it before it could fall, and held it to my ear again. "-actice was cancelled! That failed before you could even try!" He sounded upset.

"It's… okay, because… I was going to text him…" I said, trying my best to get the words out right, because I didn't want him to be upset at something we couldn't change in the first place. "I just... don't know what to say…" Tajima-kun made a noise, and I don't know if he was thinking or agreeing with me. Either way, it was sort of unnerving. Tajima-kun always had something to say, and if he didn't know, how am I supposed to say anything?

"Well, it's hard saying it, but I guess it's harder writing it down." He murmured. I could see where he was coming from. Saying something was easy. The words just come out. A message is harder. You have every word staring at you, and you keep thinking that it's not good enough… "What do you want to tell him?"

"I-I… short. T-That I like him and… that's it." I said, stuttering just at the prospect of saying it aloud, let alone telling it to Abe-kun. Even if it is just a message…

"Hey, hey, calm down, okay? It's not so bad." Tajima-kun eased. "Do… you want me to tell him?"

"N-No!" I nearly yelled, my heart jumping in my throat at the thought. "I… I… Abe-kun will…. even more… mad…" I said brokenly, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapped my free arm around my shins. If Tajima-kun told him, then he would know I told someone about this, and not only would he be mad at me for liking him, but also because I embarrassed him and told someone about it! No, no, that couldn't happen, not now, not-

"Wait, what?" Tajima-kun said loudly. "Mihashi, you think Abe's mad at you?" He sounded incredulous, and I didn't know what he was thinking, but I knew I had to answer him. He wanted an answer.

"Y-Yes… well… not now, maybe… but when I… tell him, yeah… and if you tell him it would be… worse? So…" I stuttered, fiddling with my pants a little. I wish I could disappear. Why is this happening?

"I don't think he'll be mad at you!" He said, still loud, but at least it wasn't a question this time. It sounded like he knew, and I don't know how he could sound like that.

"B-But…"

"No buts." Tajima-kun said, cutting me off with an unrecognizable firmness in his voice. "You're gonna text him that you like him. Tonight. You can turn your phone off after that. Or throw it out the window. Or whatever you want to do! But you are telling him! Strictly!" Was it me or… did he sound like Momoe-kan? I tried not to think about it.

"O-Okay, Tajima-kun…" I said, looking at my toes from over my knees.

"Good. Oh! And text me after you tell him, okay?" He added excitedly.

"Y-yeah…"

"Hey." He said abruptly.

"What?"

"Sorry for being mean." Tajima-kun said sincerely. "But… you have to get this done sooner or later, and I think sooner's a lot better than later. I'm just trying to look out for you and the team."

"Y-yeah… I know. Thanks, Tajima-kun." I said, nodding a little.

"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow!" He said, and before I could even say 'bye,' he hung up. I shut my phone carefully, before setting it down beside me and looking out my window.

I didn't feel like pitching anymore.

[To: Abe Takaya]

[From: Mihashi Ren]

[At: 11:35 PM]

[Subject: ]

[I like you]

[To: Tajima Yuuichirou]

[From: Mihashi Ren]

[At: 11:38 PM]

[Subject: ]

[I did it]

I couldn't sleep. At all. There was no way I was sleeping. There were times when I thought that I was dozing off, but then I remembered everything, snapped back to reality, and thought about everything I shouldn't have. I knew I was going to pay for it later on, that is, if Abe-kun even cared anymore about this, but… I couldn't think. I can't.

I was ready to leave for school about two hours before I was usually supposed to get up. I shoved my phone underneath my pillow, then pulled it back out, checked it, then shoved it underneath my pillow again. Over and over again. I knew he wasn't going to respond, but I couldn't help it.

I could hear my mom moving around soon enough, so I climbed into my covers and closed my eyes like I'd done about a hundred times already. In a matter of minutes, my alarm rang in my ears and my mom barged in, urging me to get up and be on time. I sat up and nodded, and she let herself out. I stayed there for a little longer, before deciding that I probably should get up. I shoved my phone into my bag before I moved to get dressed. I didn't want to see the thing anymore.

After getting dressed as slowly as I possibly could, I wandered down to the kitchen. Surprisingly, my mom wasn't there. Instead, she was in the living room, talking on the phone. I don't know who she would be talking to at this time, but I didn't think it mattered. I searched lazily for something to eat, but after scouring the kitchen at least three times, I realized I wasn't really hungry. Huh.

I did anything I could to kill time; weighed myself twice, repacked my bag at least once, retied my shoelaces, tried fixing my hair, listened in on my mom's excitable conversation, and even wandered out to the yard and checked if there were any stray baseballs around. After all that, I was severely late, so I hopped on my bike and rode to Nishiura as fast as I could.

When I got there, I was struggling for air, but I didn't let that stop me from rushing to the clubroom. Being late to class was frowned upon, but being late to practice was practically death. I got outside the door, but I didn't go in. Breathing heavily, I leaned against the wall and tried my best to relax. I knew that was barely an option at the moment, but it was the least that I could do. When my breathing was somewhat normal, I stood on my own two feet and walked into the room.

"-you're not, are you?" I heard Tajima-kun say, and when I looked up, I saw him talking to… Abe-kun?! I couldn't bring myself to take another step, so I just stood in the doorway.

"Not really. It's just a matter of-" Abe-kun said, preoccupied with his conversation with Tajima-kun to notice me.

"Ah, morning, Mihashi." Mizutani-kun said, patting my shoulder and slipping past me as he walked out. Abe-kun must have heard him, because he cut himself off and looked at me. My stomach tied itself into uncomfortable knots, and I was glad I didn't eat something this morning, because it would have been all over the floor by now.

"Mihashi." Abe-kun said, almost like he was shocked to see me standing there. He blinked once, twice, and I couldn't take it. I dropped my bag off my shoulder and ran out, not looking back, not even when Abe-kun yelled, "MIHASHI! WAIT!"

I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't. I couldn't stand there with him looking at me like that. He knows now, and he's here earlier than me, so he probably already told Momoe-kan or maybe even Hanai-kun about this whole thing, and I was going to be kicked off the team. I knew it. I just had to screw this whole thing up.

I didn't know where I was running, but my head was spinning, my heart was pounding, and my knees were buckling slightly with every step I took. I passed a corner, and I took it, sliding a little bit and praising whoever was up there that I didn't fall. I looked around before ducking into a small niche and curling up on myself.

It was too early to go to class, and I left my bag at the clubroom. Maybe when they're all at practice I could go and grab it. Or maybe I could just go home and have Tajima-kun bring it to me after school. But I felt so stupid. Stupid for all of this, stupid for telling him, stupid for liking him when he obviously didn't like me at all-

"Mihashi! I know you're around here somewhere!" Abe-kun called, because there was no way I was mistaking his voice. I closed my eyes tight, and hoped, prayed, tried my hardest to make myself disappear, but it wasn't working. "C'mon, Mihashi, please, I only want to- Mihashi." He said, and I flinched at how close his voice was.

He found me. Now he's going to yell at me and tell me how disgusting he thinks I am, and tell me that he never wants to catch for me again, but I'm not any good without Abe-kun catching my pitches, so I might as well be kicked off the team, might as well stop playing altogether because I'm no good-

There was a thump, and then something was pulling me out of my niche wrapping itself around me. I was so scared, so confused, until I opened my eyes, and then I finally realized that Abe-kun was on the floor next to me and hugging me. He was actually hugging me. Wait… why?

"You're such an idiot!" He was yelling. "You could have gotten hurt when you turned that corner! And curling up in a ball like that isn't good for your back, and it could screw up your pitches! And just running away suddenly without being warmed up like that could really hurt you! How could you be so careless?"

I wasn't listening to half of what he was saying, trying my hardest to get out of his grip, because he was yelling at me. He was mad at me. He was angry that I wasn't brave enough to face him.

"Are you even listening to me?!" Abe said loudly, letting go of me finally and instead grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly. I found myself looking at his face and… he didn't look mad at all. Why was he yelling at me, then?

"A-A-Abe-kun… m-mad…" I stuttered, unable to say anything more, not even when he took his hands off my shoulder and let them fall into his lap.

"I'm not mad, okay?!" He said just as loudly as before, but somehow I believed him. "I just can't believe you! How careless can you be?!" He was ranting again, but I was still confused.

"A-Aren't you… mad… 'cause… m-message?" I stuttered, shifting away from him a little bit and pressing my fingertips together.

"What? What are you-? Wait… What! No, of course not!" He said, and this time he wasn't all that loud. His voice was full of something else other than irritation or… worry, I realized. That's what made him so loud. Now, he sounded… confused?

"Y-You're… n-not…?" I asked, looking at him again. Well, if Abe-kun isn't mad…

"I told you to tell me when you figured it out, didn't I?" Abe-kun asked, the corner of his lips upturning a bit and- was he smiling?

"Y-Yes… but…"

"I wanted to know for sure that you liked me before I said anything. That's why I said that. I wasn't mad at you at all." Abe-kun explained. That… made a little bit of sense…

"S-Said…?" I questioned. What did he have to say to me?

"Look." He sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking at the ground in between us before glancing back up at me. "I don't know how I feel about you." O-Oh…. "I've never felt that way towards anyone before, so I can't tell if it is or it isn't." What? "But I still do like you as a person and… I'm willing to try if you are."

He's never liked anyone before… I'm the first one… I don't know if that's good or bad, but… he said he wanted to try…

"Y-Yeah!" I said, unable to hide the smile on my face. Abe-kun was smiling too.

"Good." He said, standing up and holding out his hand. I took it timidly, and he pulled me to my feet. "C'mon, we should get- You still need to change and we're going to be late!" He exclaimed, letting go of my hand in lieu of smacking his forehead.

"C-C'mon!" I said, running back to the clubroom. Abe-kun followed me.

"Why were you guys late?"

"How did it go?"

"What took you so long?"

"ARE YOU GUYS DATING YET?"

"TAJIMA SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"S-Sorry... for being l-late…"

YEAH! So, i really like the idea of ace/aro Abe, and im sorry if i wrote this wrong, but i just wanted to... incorporate that in here some way? (also izumi-mihashi interactions are kind of what i live for)

WELL! i hope you enjoyed it! Please give me feedback, i love hearing from you guys! Thank you for reading!

-HB