I couldn't help but slam my door to my room because I was mad. I was mad I guess at me because if I would have just paid attention to begin with and done all those mundane things I should do while driving I wouldn't be in this mess. Next, if I had just decided to tell Edward about my tickets rather than hide it I probably wouldn't be here either. I am usually pretty good at getting my way with him I smile.
I so did not want a spanking. The very thought was absolutely humiliating. I had never had a spanking, but I have read enough to know it is not pleasant. I jump being startled back to reality by the quiet closing of my door.
"Bella, I told you to face the corner," says Edward. I will never get use to his ability to sneak in.
I was feeling a little ashamed so I didn't look up at him, but I did softly respond. Something the normal human ear would not have heard, but I am not conversing with a normal human either.
"I know but I was thinking about how I got here."
"And," he expectantly encourages me to go on.
"And I wish this mess hadn't started at all," I confess still unable to look up.
I feel that dang finger under my chin, and I so don't want to look at him. I know he is disappointed, especially about my little attempt to keep this from him. Up my face comes but I can keep my eyes closed and not look. Yes, the two year old has returned to the house.
"Isabella," he says in a gentle tone, "look at me right now. We both are wishing this hadn't happened but what is done is done."
Oh God, now I feel the final nail being hammered in the coffin. Calm but determined Edward is present. I want to make this go away, and I see from the look in his eyes he is set on talking about this. My mind screams no Bella he is set on spanking you for this.
"Edward," that whiny voice says, "I know what I did was wrong and that trying to hide it was even worse. I just didn't want to fight with you and nothing happened, well I got a ticket and that is punishment in itself. So see I am being punished and I swear to all that is holy that I won't ever do anything like this again, ever. Honestly I didn't mean to lie I was..." OK I need to remember I am human and air is my friend. Suddenly, I am gasping to get the needed oxygen into my lungs.
Edward pulls me into hug and begins to gently trail his hand over my head. Too bad that body part might being doing something else later.
"Bella, shhh," Edward speaks, "I know you are sorry for what you did. You always are afterwards but that doesn't seem to stop you from doing it again."
Now I am a little peeved and spout, "Well we humans do tend to make mistakes."
"Don't," that commanding voice says. "Listen to me right now, ok?"
I nod my head feeling really tired and just wanting everything to be over.
"Downstairs I was calming myself down and I realized something. Bella you have been the adult in your life even when you were a kid. You have always been that voice of reason but you were never given the chance to test you boundaries to find out what that reason really was," he lectures.
"Huh," I murmur. "What does that have to do with anything?"
I feel Edward shake as he laughs and continues, "Little kids test boundaries and find out what is safe and what is not safe. I know I am from a different time than you but whether getting a spanking and or sent to time out, the result is the same. You learn what is ok. You were the one making those decisions early on without the benefit of adult interjection because Renee didn't do that."
"So now you are telling me I am incapable of taking care of myself," I growl.
"No, you are really very good at most of the time, but no one showed you how to handle the impulsive times. Bella do you even understand why I am upset with you?"
"I think so," I pause. "I went speeding in your car and didn't wear my seatbelt. If there had been a crash I could have really gotten hurt. I know all that, and yes, I should've kept that in mind."
"You should but I am really upset because I have reminded you about that often. You seem to ignore me. I am not your father nor do I want to be, but I do feel very protective of you and I don't want to consider a world without you in it. Especially when you could have avoided the trouble by listening and taking simple precautions to be safe like fastening your belt." Edward's eyes were looking straight into mine making me feel about the size of a dang two year old.
Edward ran his hands through his hair. There was no doubt he was upset even if the anger wasn't really there anymore. That disappointment was worse anyway because he was right that if I had listened we wouldn't be having this so called discussion. It really sucks when your beloved is right, leaving no room to really argue.
With a deep sign, I close my eyes for a few seconds searching for courage to say something, anything to make this all better. "Edward I really don't need a spanking. I get it that I was wrong and I have to be more careful. I promise, I swear I will always take the steps I can to be safe when I can do that. So see you really don't need to spank me." Feeling tears build behind my eyes, I blink fast to keep them at bay so I can continue. "Edward, I am truly sorry for everything-the speeding, not wearing my seatbelt and trying to hide it all. I know I am just stupid."
"Hey, you are not stupid and I never want to hear you say that about yourself again, ok?" he gently but sternly states.
I barely nod as I realize that all I seem to be doing is screwing up one time after another. Man, am I dumb but dang I can't say that because he will get testy then. When am I going to get use to the fact I am really not worthy to be with this god of a man.
As if sensing my distress, Edward pulls me in for a tight hug. "Bella, you need that spanking now more than you might realize. You need to know that I am not going to ever let you go no matter what you do. That I will always carry through on what I say. I did say if you did something unsafe again I would spank you and I am going to."
Unknowingly I shake my head no. I don't want a spanking and aren't I old enough to just say I am sorry and go on.
"Love, you know once this is over the proverbial slate is clean, all is forgiven, and we can go on. And the next time that teenage impulse to ignore good judgement comes you will have a strong memory about why you must not do that," he says.
A clean slate, that is good idea. If only life were so simple, I hate constantly screwing up and adding to my so called list.
"Baby girl what are thinking?" Edward prods.
Looking up into those caring, golden orbs I whisper, "Nothing really."
"No, you don't," he voices more commandingly. "Talk to me. You already have two spanking to take care of. Let's not make it three. Just talk to me, ok?"
Feeling my eyes almost drop out of my head as I stare at him, I feel complete and total fear. How did I go from getting two spankings to possibly getting three? I know Edward is an ass man as he is always grabbing it, but I hope he is not a spanking one. Wait didn't Alice tell me the Cullen men didn't hesitate to spank their woman. This is so not looking good and I am so confused.
"Edward, I am really mixed up right now? Look I know I did something wrong, well a lot of things wrong. Believe me I feel bad and I will never forgive myself. I suddenly feel like I am in a maze and all the outlets are a dead end," I say with the last being spoken with a louder, higher pitch then I expected.
"Bella, I am not out to hurt you. I don't like the idea of causing you pain," he says
"Then don't," I interrupt. "I said sorry and I can punish myself just fine."
Exasperated, Edward laughs, "Honey, I am not looking for you to pay penitence here. I want to teach you and make sure you have the reason necessary to not repeat it. Bella why don't you just say what it is you are thinking."
"Oh god, I am thinking so much," I say more to myself. "OK, here goes nothing. I am afraid. I know what I did was wrong, all of it was wrong, but I don't see how this, this spanking thing is going to help. I have never been spanked ever in my life."
"Then it is time," Edward smiles. "Bella, I am watching you beat yourself up emotionally over what you did. Wouldn't you rather just have one way to pay for what you did and have it done. Then just go on."
"You mean like paying the fine," I ask.
"Actually, yes like paying the fine. Just like the fact that you will pay the fine then the authorities won't bother you about your tickets as along as you don't get more," he explains, "the spanking will work the same way. You have done something we both agree is wrong and now you will pay for it by getting spanked. Once that is over, that is it. I won't bring it up again."
"If I slip up again," I hedge.
"Then, little girl," he smiles while lifting my face, "I will spanking again. Just like the authorities would ticket and fine you again if they catch you speeding. The spanking would be worse just like the fine would be higher to allow you to be punished more and give you a bigger reminder not to do it again."
"Oh," I announce, "but why am I am up for two spankings."
Again that dang smile comes, "Because there are two really big things you did today that both deserve a spanking. You and I both know you know better than to try to hide and lie about this. That should go without saying," he gloats.
Now I cut my eyes at him. I so hate it when he leaves no room for rebuttal. I also despise the fact that getting this spanking is making so much sense too. I don't want my bottom to hurt.
"I don't want a spanking though," I softly whine, "because it is going to hurt."
"If you wanted it then it wouldn't do much to punish you or remind you not to be unsafe again now would it," he says.
"I guess" I surrender, "but I definitely am terrified of getting two spankings."
"Tell you what I will just give you one for everything," he concedes, "but if you ever lie to me in the future know that what you get today will seem like child's play compared to what I will give you then."
With big eyes, I solemnly nod. I guess I am agreeing to this but I so don't want it.
"OK little one, let's get this over with," he says as he leads me to my bed.
Edward sits down and looks into my eyes. He takes my hands and clears his throat.
"Isabella, I really don't want to do this. I am not looking forward to spanking you and causing you pain." He puts his finger across my lips to silence my pending plea to go with that feeling. "You have left me no alternative though. I will not tolerate you knowingly ignoring ways to stays safe, and I absolutely won't allow you to lie to me in any form. No relationship can stand deception. Just know that I will never hesitate to spank you as a human or a vampire if you ever do something unsafe or lie to me. Is that completely clear?"
Feeling the tears in my eyes, I nod. I don't trust my voice so I don't say anything.
"This next part I know is going to be hard for you, but it has to be done. I am going to pull your jeans and panties down," he says. I gasp and begin to pull away because I don't want the spanking, and the idea of being bare for it is so embarrassing. I just can't do this. He should see my naked bottom the first time before we make love not to punish me.
"Stop, Isabella," his stoney, cold voice announces. "I have to do this for two reason. First, the humiliation factor makes it more certain you will be less likely to repeat this behavior. Second, I need to see how your flesh reacts to this. I am not going to damage you in anyway, and seeing your flesh change color ensures that I don't bruise you. This is going to hurt but I am not taking any chances that it goes to far."
Without any further ado, Edward quickly unsnaps and unzips my jeans. I am so surprised by all this that I just stand there zombie-like while he pulls everything down to my mid-thigh. I glance at him for a second to see he really isn't paying attention to the fact the I am bare in my genital region. He seems intent to just get this over with.
He pulls me over his lap and adjusts me a little so I am laying with my upper body on the bed. He goes on to encase my legs by one of his own. It is not like I could leave anyway. I feel like this is a dream. I can see everything that is happening, but I am not registering the fact it is happening to me.
"Bella, my love are you comfortable," he says.
I can't help but glare back at him. My butt is about to be pummeled by his rock hard hand, and he is concerned about my comfort. Isn't this just a little too ironic?
Smiling he says, "There is no need to add to you discomfort."
"Remind me to thank you when I am not in the process of having my bottom blistered," I snarl.
Edward takes a deep breath. "Isabella you aren't in a position to be rude you know," he informs me punctuating his remark with a light tap to my behind. I gasp as the ability to feel seems to return and registers the fact that his cold hand has indeed taken up residence on my bottom region.
"Now, Isabella why don't you tell me why you are in this position?" he inquires.
Again I glare back at him. Maybe I can paralyze him with my agitated mood. You really have to be kidding me Cullen since we have spent the last fifteen minutes going over the why's and wherefore'.
Sensing my irritation, Edward explains, "This is all apart of getting a spanking. Sometimes children really didn't get why they were going to be punished, but most of the time they did. Making someone say why is just another way to add to the embarrassment which will make it more likely that this little show won't have to be repeated."
Oh my ever loving god. I swear if his hand wasn't on my ass I would really tell him what I was thinking.
"OK whatever," I decide to say, "I am here because I got caught speeding and not wearing my seatbelt which are two very unsafe things I can control doing. Is that good enough?"
"Isabella Marie," he yells while swatting my rump swiftly, "you are going to end up getting two spankings if you don't knock that little attitude of yours off. And yes that does sum up part of the reason but I need you to tell me the rest."
I thought being spanked was going to help me, but suddenly my mind is blank. What other part is there to this. Am I going insane here, but my boyfriend seems to know I need a little clue, so he again slaps my butt and whispers, "The lying."
Suddenly eureka explodes in my cloudy conscious as I yipe, "I purposely hid what I did too."
"Good girl," he says as he whispers. "You know how I feel about all the things you have done. I don't ever want to have to do this again Isabella Marie Swan, but I am now going to give you the spanking you seem to be inadvertently begging for."
The punishment begins with two rapid smacks to each cheek. Talk about irony, how can something so cold as Edward's hands make my nether region so warm. The tingling begins as I bite my lip and again feel two more purposeful slaps. These are a little lower and the warmth begins to increase. The next set of swats seem to come even faster as the tingly feeling gives way to more of a needly sensation. To be honest it is starting to hurt.
"Aughhh," I moan. That was me right. Considering my bottom is beginning to feel like Edward has mistaken it for a pair of bongo drums, I am becoming certain it is me. Boy, let me tell you that even though I trust Edward not to do permanent damage, this really smarts. The smacks that land right between my legs and butt are the worst.
"Ow, Edward please," I pant which is met with another smacking reply. "Stop I get it. This hurts." Did he go deaf? I know these swats are loud but he is a vampire for heaven's sake, they can hear anything.
"Oh god I am sorry," I plead.
"Bella I know you are sorry, but words don't seem to change your behavior," he replies. Finally, he can hear me.
"Aughhh, Owww," I say. Has my vocabulary suddenly changed to that of a gorilla?
"Oh, owwwwieee, pleasssssssse," I plea, "I swear I will be the best girl ever. Just stop."
Something wet is on cheeks. Noooooo, I am crying, this is so embarrassing. I really am not going to get myself in this position again because it sucks. I can hear a sobbing noise somewhere but it doesn't seem to stop Edward from whacking my behind.
"Bella, breath, we are almost done," he says. Almost hell, I was done after the first dozen. God I hate this but then I hear a sobbing noise that sounds like it is coming from Edward. Oh no it is Edward, I really didn't mean for him to take this so hard.
"Edward I am sorry," I say. "I never meant to hurt you. I love you and I won't ever do this again." Feeling totally chastised and exhausted, I have no more energy to fight or talk. I just lay there, praying he will stop soon. I try to take each blow the best I can because I know I really did deserve this.
"Little girl, I am so proud of you," he murmurs. I realize he isn't spanking me anymore, and his cool hand feels very pleasant. He is tenderly rubbing my bottom. This is so much better.
"Love, it is over," he says as he carefully turns me around places me on his lap. I can't help but hiss when my newly spanked bottom reaches his jean clad leg. It renews the stinging but I don't really care. It is over and Edward still loves me.
"You are forgiven, my little swan," he croons, "and I love you so much. I want you to understand that if something like this ever happens again, I will spank you again and it will be worse."
As I make eye contact, I see the determination in Edward's eyes that reinforce what he just said. A feeling of terror consumes me because I don't want to ever get spanked again.
"Oh, Edward, I swear I will never ever, ever, ever do anything to make you spank me again," I squeak. "I don't ever want this to happen again. I promise to be the best girl I can."
Smiling while rubbing my back, he guides my head to his shoulder. "Shhh," he moans, "ever is a long time and all memories, whether vampire or human, leave some with its passing. I don't want to do this again myself, but chances are it will happen again. Just know I will love you no matter what you do, and I will never leave you. You can also count on the fact that if you need a spanking, I will give you one."
His little speech was over, and he kissed the top of my head. I must admit I was surprised because I did feel ok now. It was over, I survived, and Edward forgives me.
****************************************Author's Note***************************************
Ok guys and gals, I am new at this fanfic stuff, and my daughter is trying to educate me how to upload this stuff. Please be patient with me. I would love to receive some reviews but be nice. I am all for constructive criticism, but if you just want to be mean don't bother. I am really interested in some reviews about whether or not you would like to see the next chapter from Edward's POV in regards to what he was thinking about the whole spanking process. I can't believe I am doing this but I have always wanted to write so here I go.