AN: Thanks ZoeNightshade2214, Kildren, blind-saint, redmustache, Peace Sign Freak and the guests for your kind comments. Yes, last chapter revealed that Elsa can feel other's emotions. This will be expanded upon in later chapters. Thanks for reading and if you have time, any feedback you leave behind would be greatly appreciated.

(This is the July 2016 revised version)

Courtship of the Grad Student

Chapter 3

Anna faced the dark room door, yesterday's results in hand. She knocked.

"Umm...Elsa? About yesterday..."

No answer, not that she expected one.

Her memory replayed itself - the figure in the dark, hair blonde as she had imagined, but even paler, cascading down a long, slim nape to a small back bent over the fume hood sash. She saw the hand clutch metal, making the attached glass plane shudder like a blown leaf. Under the fluorescence, the woman she was watching was white, the background black; she shone, but in a subdued way, the snowy pinnacle of a mountain mankind had never set foot on, with frail beauty seemingly so fragile it was untouchable.

Anna was captured, but she dared not step forward.

Whatever raged a tempest in those clearest blues barely peeking out long lashes was out of her reach. She wanted to know, wanted to help, but a certain desolation kept her away.

So she left.

But like she always told herself, Anna Summers never backed away.

She just needed a plan. First, she needed to get more personal with her supervisor...like speaking to her...about things other than why that Sigma order is still stuck at the border.

But the silent treatment had returned. She supposed yesterday was just a lucky coincidence.

Okay, maybe she really should start with professional communication first. Personal could come after that.

"So...ugh...yesterday the experiment went great! Beautiful! Like, nothing as clean as this! Remember I told you I was transforming E. coli with fragments of the DNA I isolated? The activity screen showed a good number of hits. Totally cool! And the blot for confirming the copy number of the last sample's top hit came back with the prettiest bands ever."

Still no response.

Unlike before, Anna couldn't stop thinking, "Why?"

"Am I rambling too much?"

"Of course I am. What the hell, I could've just shown you the results, right?"

She slipped the paper halfway under the door, watching it, waiting for their only interaction to occur.

But it didn't. It remained there, half-in, half-out.

"Anna?" A gentle voice called from behind. She turned to find Hans bending over, watching her with a smile. He offered a hand to help her stand.

"Hans," she called, finally remembering the other thing that happened yesterday. "I'm...I'm really sorry for not calling you last night. The experiment just went on longer than I expected, and I totally didn't notice the time. By the end of it, it was already really late and I was afraid I would wake you up, so...I'm really, really sorry. Like...really sorry."

"Hey, hey," he interrupted her, "I get it. I totally get it. No worries, apology accepted."

"Thank you," she replied, "Thanks a lot. I...I really appreciate your kindness. I mean, kindness isn't something you can take for granted, you know?"

She didn't know what she was saying. Even Anna herself found those words bitter. Still, she couldn't refrain from taking just one last peek at the paper under the door, still there, unaccepted. If Elsa didn't want anything to do with her, why couldn't she just shove the page all the way out again, reject her once and for all!?

"You mean Elsa?" Hans broke through her thoughts. She gasped. He just patted her shoulder comfortingly, "Sorry to be nosy, but...you know, I got the idea that we think alike, so I thought maybe that was what was troubling you, and I wanted to help."

She accepted the small warmth from their contact, lingering under his touch, "Am I just...that useless? I don't think it's me, you know...Elsa being distant and all, but I still can't stop wondering maybe, maybe if I try a little harder or something, she would open up."

"I'm sure she would, just not now. As for you, you've tried hard enough. You know, we all want Elsa to open up, but at the same time, we also want you to feel welcomed here. We appreciate the things you did, no matter if it's your work or reaching out to Elsa. You are great, Anna. Don't ever think you are anything less."

Hans always had that infectious personality, his compassion, his encouraging outlook on the bleakest situations. A small part of Anna could probably guess that Hans and she were not actually so alike, but he had the ability and the wish to connect despite it all. He made himself seem like her so his empathy could reach her. That was the attractiveness of his kindness, it was what made her fall deeper in love.

If only Elsa could be a little more like him.

"Oh, Hans, Anna, are you two looking for Elsa?" A voice asked from behind them. It was Gerda, who happened to have walked by and saw them both standing in front of the dark room.

"Is she not around?" Hans asked

She nodded, "She sent me an email saying she would be down at the animal facility doing mouse experiments today; she even asked me to help Anna out if she needed anything."

Anna didn't know how she felt about this. If she must describe it, it felt like the tension in her intestines slacked a little, but they were still uncomfortably knotted. She was relieved that Elsa still remembered her, but anxious that the latter didn't even want to see her around anymore. What did she do wrong? Well, she was idiotic to think an airflow alarm would kill them both and had even threatened to break the 250k fluorescent scope, but even the most socially-inept shut-in could tell she was just trying to care...right?

"Anna, an animal experiment is a good sign nine times out of ten. You'd think the ethics committee wouldn't approve just any poorly-designed procedure, and PIs don't dump grant money into feeding mice unless it sounds like a feasible manuscript endpoint. Elsa is probably close to writing, and maybe you'll even get a second authorship, who knows?"

She tried to return Hans' grin, but truth be told, she could care less about an authorship. Sure, that was probably the reason she tried to work here to begin with, but somewhere down the line, the purpose had shifted. She was really starting to like what she did, and it seemed that only Elsa could understand.

"You said you wanted to learn how to use the microscope?" Hans continued, "I can show you now that the room isn't locked."

She glanced at the door again, the solid barrier that separated her from the mysteries behind it. She shook her head lightly.

"Nah. How about you show me what you've been working on? I've been curious for a while already."

"Sure thing! And we can discuss your project too if you like. This time I'm taking you out for lunch."

"Sounds great!"

She turned and walked away, leaving the dark room shut as it was.

It wouldn't be the same if Elsa weren't the one to invite her in.

It was a good week before Elsa finished her animal experiments and returned to sulking in her dark room in the lab.

Her terror from that night the airflow alarm sounded still hadn't eased.

It was not the first time she ran away from the lab. Of course, she didn't just do animal experiments because she wanted to run away - she had all the protocols pre-approved - she just chose to work on them whenever she couldn't stand the company of another human being within a ten-meter radius, even if there were a door blocking any direct contact.

Watching mice dying by her hands was bad, but they were better than humans - at least she gave them anaesthesia and they rested on heating pads; they just sank into a dream from which they would never wake up. She hoped they didn't suffer. Right, she could cling onto that hope. Humans, on the other hand, gave her no benefit of doubt.

Humans were so downright ugly. They were greedy and became unreasonably jealous when their desires were not met. They could come up with the most malicious plans to hurt their fellow man just so they could get what they wanted. And when those plans were thwarted, they could become angry, hateful, even murderous. It was all so sickening.

But she could stand all that. Ugly, yes, but she could ignore them, bring in her narcissistic side and claim she was at least better.

What she couldn't stand was love.

Because nothing was forever, so when love moved onto pain and suffering and devastation, but its scarce remains still lingered, clinging onto the background in desperately thin threads, she would be torn.

She didn't want to be torn again. More so, she didn't want to feel a loved one be torn inside out again.

For this, she avoided people. She'd rather freeze in isolation - at least she was free.

She recalled her undergrad career, spent almost entirely at home studying aside from taking the mandatory exams on campus. The first year lab courses were horrifying, but she managed to come in last minute so she would be working alone in an unoccupied corner, then finishing up as quickly as possible to leave in an hour while the rest of the students still toiled away on an experiment scheduled for three.

It was third year when she entered the Winters Lab. Her exact request was that she borrowed a quiet lab space for completing her mandatory lab requirements for her degree. It was a rare request, but granted nonetheless by her Dean only because she was the top student by far her faculty had ever seen. He saw her potential as a researcher, and perhaps he also saw Brad Winters as the only PI who could realize this potential.

Brad Winters could probably use a nickname of Bland Winters - he was bland as the Arctic ice he studied. Cold, yet oddly majestic in his calm, Elsa finally found solace in working for him.

He gave her everything she needed for research, the reagents, the equipment, and most importantly the quiet space she needed. He was a jaded full professor after all, built up a reputation that would allow his survival even in the economic downturn. He neither focused on nor completely ignored Elsa's work, he was just there as an ATM and signature-provider. When she published her first paper in PNAS as a fourth-year, he left a bottle of champagne outside her door. That was all.

But even the champagne made her uncomfortable. Touching the slightly moist bottle neck where his palm must've left a very thin sheen of sweat, she broke down.

The completely platonic pride of a mentor for his student's achievements - even that was enough to scare her. What if she failed to continue meeting his expectations? What would his disappointment feel like?

That was the first time she ran away. A day later, Brad sent her an email saying he'd be away for a conference in Hawaii. She returned to the lab, guilt-ridden, because she knew there wasn't even a related conference in Hawaii for that entire month.

Elsa was glad when Hans Southern joined the lab. The charismatic Master's student actively sought Brad's attention. But Brad, jaded as he was, easily saw through Hans' true worth as a grad student - as a leader. He brought in the hardworking but painfully simple Kristoff Bjorgman as Hans' undergrad, and that changed everything once again.

Kristoff was the first one who tried to befriend Elsa. Not that she thought Kai and Gerda were unfriendly, but those two probably saw from Brad's precedent that it was better to leave the Snow Queen alone. Kristoff, on the other hand, was just too nice.

He was scared of her, she knew - she could feel his fear before he even stepped in front of her door. Who wouldn't be, after hearing myths of the crazy hermit haunting the lab building after hours? Despite this, night after night, he would drop off a box of water and energy bars behind, perhaps worried she'd starve to death. When she left them there each time with a note saying "No eating or drinking in the lab", he stopped, but would still come by in-person once in a while, leaving only when she flashed the bright Texas Red channel as a sign that she was still alive.

And just like Anna, on a night he was working late, the airflow alarm sounded and he panicked, slamming Elsa's door.

"You've got to leave!" He shouted.

Why did he even have to care? From the snippets of conversation she caught once in a while from the others speaking outside, Kristoff was pretty much a loner, but to find comfort in befriending a door? Was he insane?

"It's the fume hood sash. Just close it!" She shouted back.

He did. The alarm stopped. And the next day, Elsa ran away.

When she came back, he never stopped by her door again.

If she had said the same thing to Anna, would Elsa still be sulking here in fear? In fear of having to face Anna again?

But why hadn't she said the same thing, damn it!?

"Elsa?" the familiar voice sounded outside again, "Are you back?"

She nodded, not that Anna could see her. Her body moved without her consent, stepping towards the door, hand lifting up to trace the paint on the wood.

"Umm...welcome back," the voice continued. There was a pause when the shadow outside shifted until something blocked half the light streaming through the gap on the floor.

Anna sat down. Whatever this was going to be about, it wouldn't be short.

"I went out with Hans for lunch today at Pascal's Pizza. It was really yummy."

"And then Kristoff glared at me for dating his grad student. You think he's jealous? Maybe he has a secret crush on Hans...but I thought he was in love with the reindeer at the local zoo. What was its name again? Sven! Yeah, to remember the name of a reindeer...he's definitely in love."

"So you must be wondering why I'm telling you all this. Well, actually, I've been thinking...I want to know more about you."

"But it's rude for me to just ask, right? You're sorta my vice boss, so what right do I have to ask? But if I first tell you about myself, then we'd become friends, and you can tell me about yourself some day."

"I know you're real nice, Elsa. I know that's who you are."

"Because who would spend so much time teaching an idiot undergrad like me?"

"It seemed like all you were doing was throwing things at me at first, but hey, couldn't stop thanking you when I aced my lab book check for Micro 420. I always failed those before."

"So when you were gone..."

Elsa felt an overpowering sensation. Without looking, she knew Anna's hand had reached through the gap and clawed desperately at the linoleum an inch in front of her.

"...I missed you."

I don't know why, but I missed you.

Your saline and pens and ice boxes of probes and antibodies and the thin piece of your hair accidentally mingled within.

You were silent, but you were always there, watching me.

Would you please keep watching?

Elsa knew then that the door could no longer keep her safe from this girl called Anna, this girl she hadn't even seen once.

But she still clung onto it, because it was all she had, all these years.

She leaned onto the hard plank and slid down, sitting there.

Silence.

"Elsa?"

"Hmm?"

Anna was almost shocked to hear the slight vibration of sound on the door. Sliding her hand to the side, she touched coarse fabric - that of a lab coat.

She smiled.

Oh, the bubbles floating up her core, so warm and airy...

"You think you can show me how to use the microscope?"

The lab coat slipped away, but it was quickly replaced by something else, something she couldn't touch, but something even more.

Coloured lights danced on the ground, making her giggle.

"You sure it's okay to break the filter cubes turret on a 250k microscope?"

Elsa grinned as she sat down again, watching the rainbow flash while the turret spun round and round.

I didn't break the turret, Silly. I just modified it.

For the first time in forever, she was not alone.

End of Chapter 3