EPOV

Home. It was a strange feeling to be in a house that used to be so full of life, and have it now be nearly inhospitable. It felt wrong to be here alone. I was sitting on my couch, the very couch that I used to cuddle up with Bella on. It was a bad idea to come here. I thought it would make the pain go away, if just for the briefest of periods. Instead, every square foot brought on a new memory. I remember one time, we were sitting on this couch…

"Edward, why are you doing this?" she asked in an exasperated tone.

"Because, contrary to your beliefs, you deserve to have something nice."

"But…Tiffany's!! Couldn't you have just given me a…I don't know…a pair of socks or something?!" I laughed lightly at this, like I would ever get the love of my life a pair of socks.

"No, I couldn't."

"But it's not even my birthday!" She lifted herself off of the couch so now she was standing further away than I wanted. Aching to be closer, I stood up as well and stood so I was directly in front of her.

"Doesn't matter; think of it as a 'get well soon' gift."

"My leg healed over a month ago."She gave me an incredulous look.

"So think of it as a congratulations on getting better."

"People don't congratulate people on getting better. Or if they do, they say so in a simple card."

"Well, I'm not people." I gave her a smirk at my inference.

"No, you're not people. You're too perfect to be people."

"True."

"I'm serious, Edward. You're perfect." I rolled my eyes and snorted at this clouded observation.

"Okay, maybe not perfect. But you're perfect for me." She walked over to me, linked her arms around my neck and stood on the tip of her toes to press a kiss to my lips.

"And thank you, no matter how ridiculous it is, the necklace is still absolutely beautiful." Once she let go, I held her up so she was looking straight into my eyes.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward. More than you'll ever know." And I shaped my lips to hers once again.

Alice's voice dragged me back to the present.

"Edward, you need to do something about this, you need to fix-," but I cut her off. The phone reception was getting a little less clear, but the anger in Alice's voice was still very apparent.

"Alice, I know I need to. I just don't know how to. I can't just walk back to her and act like nothing ever happened." Could I? No, I couldn't. I wouldn't. She deserved more than that. She deserved to be given choices.

"I know. I wish I could help you, but I can't," there was a desperation in her voice that was rare for Alice.

"Can't you tell me how it will work out so that way I can just go to her already?" I was physically aching to run to Bella, to take her in my arms and forget my mistakes.

"I can't see an outcome since you haven't done anything about it, jackass." There was a sour tone to her voice now, and when she immediately hung up on me I knew I had really pissed her off, and an angry Alice was not fun to deal with.

I pressed the 'end call' button on the phone in my hands and threw it across my room. I started to wonder what I would be doing right now if I hadn't left her. I started to picture us here, on my couch, laying her head down on my chest while I held her and wove my fingers through her soft hair, all the while telling her that I would never let her go.

What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? How was I going to explain what my life had become? Would I receive sympathy or sorrow? If I had to take a guess, I would probably say the latter. No one would give a monster something he doesn't deserve. You don't receive sympathy when you throw this upon yourself- you receive pity. Would she pity me? Would she tell me she was shocked, but happy nonetheless that I came back?

Yes, she would be happy. I had to believe that. I forced myself to. Something had to make me run back to her. And it was hope. It was the hope that a lost love could be found. It was the hope that things could be made right. It was the hope that we could be brought back to life.

We would be able to live again.

This simple realization fueled my body to run after her. To run after Bella. To run after an old love that was still very alive and new.

To run after a new beginning.

BPOV

It had been ten months. Ten long, agonizing, unbearably lonely months—and I still hadn't moved on. I still hadn't let go of the fact that he wasn't here. I still hadn't grasped the concept that he was never going to be here again. The fact that I would have to settle for a life of solitude.

If I wasn't loved by him, then I didn't want to be loved by anyone. Oh, yeah, that's healthy. You might as well go jump off a cliff right now. Like I could actually do that. Like I, Isabella fucking Swan, could jump off of a cliff? I couldn't do that. I couldn't give up so easily on life.

Like you haven't given up already?

No, I'm still alive, aren't I?

You think you can call yourself alive? You call this miserable existence 'living'?

Well, maybe I'm not living life to the fullest, but…

But what? Face it; you've been dead from the second he uttered that single 'no'.

And so it went on. I kept warring with myself over what I had—or had not—become. I finally realized that my inner voice was right, I was dead. I just hadn't gone through the formality of actually leaving the Earth.

And so I decided I should.

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