Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer here, I wish I owned Slayers and everything with it, but I don't. If I was making money off this, I'd be rich...but I'm not. I'm just a poor college student with too much free time.

Revamped chapter 3. This time things cover Lina's view, again from a more internal dialogue/thought style. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Legends and Daylight

Had she always been this weak, this dependant? Was Lina Inverse just a persona, something she donned every morning with her cape and gloves? Did her confidence only fall into place with the securing snap of her talismans…her thick skin and iron nerves ready only after she'd adjusted her headband, tightened her belt?

Just yesterday the world had trembled beneath her in awe and terror, both cursing and respecting her name - and the power behind it - in the same breath. In the light of day, in the face of enemies and allies, she was strong and independent; able to face down anything without a care, witty taunts on her lips, a defiant spark in her eyes. Nothing had been able to break through her defenses, slice their way through her protective walls.

The sorceress of chaos, dragon spooker, slayer of bandits and Mazoku lords…so many names, so many ideas. Little girl, flat-chested, greedy and unmannered child…she had no soul, she never cried. So many years of living in her own image, fighting to be worthy of her own legend. Did it really come any surprise that she'd started to believe the tales herself?

Just how long had it been since she'd last cried? How many lost companions, slain villains, saved or ruined towns had come and gone? Was it any wonder that it had eventually caught up with her, drowning her in long-avoided feelings. Like a broken dam, she couldn't stop the resulting flood, escape the raging torrent.

In two days she had shown a greater range of emotion than they'd ever seen, both good and bad. The others openly feared the new her, this woman that both was and wasn't their Lina Inverse. They knew how to deal with the walking legend; the strong leader that always held her ground, the fiery sorceress that left barren restaurants and random destruction in her wake. Suddenly she had changed on them, becoming a woman of flesh and blood rather than fire and chaos. They didn't voice it, but she could see the distrust in their eyes, the fear in their tense posture and short words.

How odd people were. Given enough time, they could adjust to any horror, accept any situation, no matter how outlandish. But throw them a sudden change, something that happened overnight…and they ran from it, either emotionally or physically, be it for good or ill.

'What do they expect? If the horrors we faced in the past weren't enough to break me, doesn't it seem appropriate that the absence of a single man would? Have they already forgotten our troubles with Phibrizo?' Lina wondered, her attention switching to the campfire and beyond.

The others were asleep, arranged in way that made it obvious how unwelcome she would be on their side of the fire. To be fair, they probably hadn't done in intentionally, any more than people stayed indoors at night, refusing to open their doors without serious cause. It was just instinctive really…but that didn't make it any easier to swallow.

She would sleep alone then, as she usually did anymore…on the nights she could sleep at all. Rest came to her in fits and starts, especially since Zel's departure. She'd tried covering it as much as possible, volunteering to take watch every night, a chore the others were only too happy to avoid.

'I always knew the others meant a lot to me, more than I would ever tell them. But I never knew Zelgadis had become ever more so…and that I was that dependent on him.'

With a low growl, Lina threw another log into the fire. She watched the flames hiss and sputter at the new addition, dancing higher than ever between layers of thin smoke. "Damn him anyway! He tortures my emotions when he's here, and now he tortures them when he's gone."

Exasperated, she threw even more wood into the fire, satisfied to do anything physical if it would keep her emotions in check. "Would you be smug Zel, to know just how much you affect me? Would it make you happy to see me so miserable and confused?" She muttered softly.

Gourry's snore cut through the slight noise put off by the fire. Wincing, Lina glared at the sleeping swordsman. When his next snore cut off abruptly at her look, she flashed a victory sign, more to herself than anything.

After that it took her a few minutes to gather her scattered thoughts…but all too soon Zel crept back into them, along with a reminder of her earlier words. "No, you probably wouldn't. Maybe if it were anyone else, someone that hadn't earned what little respect and friendship you were willing to give. You were always nice to me…well, nice for you anyway." She chuckled softly, looking away from the fire in favor of staring into the surrounding woods.

"Maybe you actually liked me, Zel…enough that I might have had a shot at you, at claiming a place in that hidden heart of yours." She paused, realizing how she sounded. "Geez, I'm starting to sound like Amelia. Now there's something that would definitely chase you off!"

Swallowing her laughter lest it wake the others, her gaze drifted above the tree line, as if Zel might Raywing into camp at any moment, a beige blur in the distance. "But none of that really matters now, does it? Once again you decided to leave without notice…though I really shouldn't sound surprised anymore. It was hardly the first time you've pulled a stunt like that. Still, your timing couldn't have been worse! Any planning or hoping on my part was dashed in a single morning, and now I can't even seem to get a decent night's sleep! Do you have any idea how easy it is to blame myself for your sudden disappearance? Chalk it up to one stupid night of bad emotions and worse decisions? At least you could have had the decency to leave a damned note!"

Hastily Lina clapped a hand over her mouth. Gradually her voice had gotten louder as she continued ranting, until at last she'd ended with a yell. With cautious eyes she scanned the others, searching for even the smallest sign that they'd heard her. Gourry had resumed snoring, Sylphiel's dream-inspired murmuring a soft counterpoint.

'Probably dreaming about her dear, dear Gourry.' Smiling a bit, she pushed aside her twinge of envy at the pair.

Next she shifted her gaze to Amelia. The princess was sleeping a short distance apart, wrapped securely in several layers of blankets, a wide smile on her face. For a moment Lina thought she looked rather peaceful and innocent…until the girl laughed in her sleep suddenly.

'She sounds almost as bad as Naga!' Shivering, Lina purposely pushed all thoughts of her former partner out of her mind. 'I wonder if she drove Zel away? She's only been hounding the poor guy for years now.'

Satisfied that the others were still sleeping soundly, she dropped her hand to one side. They didn't know just how much it bothered her every time Zelgadis vanished on them, and she wanted to keep it that way. Besides, Amelia had put on enough theatrics for the both of them that first morning. First it had been tears and wailing, then a fiery speech on the injustice of not saying a proper goodbye, then glaring at each of the others in turn, inventing various reasons to blame them for his departure…or as she put it, 'driving him off with their unjust manners and lack of understanding'. If any of them had doubted her feelings about Zel in the past, she'd made them perfectly clear that morning.

'I can't believe I ever thought those two were close. I should have known Zelgadis was smarter than that. Amelia could never really love him, no matter what she might say to the contrary. She would want him to live in Seyruun, trapped in a castle attending countless balls, court functions, and any other thing her crazy father or she might dream up. Zel can't…couldn't stand crowds at the best of times, let alone being surrounded by them for the rest of his life! To top it off, he'd probably end up spending more time guarding her from crazy relatives than he would loving her.'

Lina grinned to herself, unashamed at delighting in the thought of an unhappy Amelia. 'I have to admit, the timing was almost a bit too perfect. I had no idea that she'd made him an offer earlier that night. Hell, I was busy dealing with my own problems at the time. Still, the fact that he helped me was surprising enough…but he also decided to do so after turning down Amelia's offer to join her in Seyruun.'

She paused then, finally realizing what she probably looked like. Cringing a bit, she let the goofy smile that had appeared on her face fall. "I've got to stop doing that. Maybe Amelia and Sylphiel are rubbing off on me." With a grimace, Lina decided not to think about what that might really mean. "I'm not like them anymore; I'm not hoping to find that prince on a white horse, or some noble to sweep me off my feet with fancy words and a huge treasury. I'm no kind and innocent princess, and Zel's definitely not some shining knight."

The idea of Zelgadis on a horse, dressed up in court finery, with some smile meant to send the ladies swooning on his face…the entire image was laughable. But then, instead of riding in to rescue her - not that she would ever need rescuing - she imagined him riding past, heading off to some unknown destination alone. That sobered her quite a bit.

That's right. Came the taunting, sharp thought. The reasons don't really matter in the end, do they? Poetry and causes aside, he still left without a word. Maybe it was due to some antic from Amelia, but it's just as likely he finally noticed how pathetic you really are in the stark light of day. No longer the strong sorceress Lina Inverse, the powerful mage of legend, able to hold the group together battle after battle. Capable of standing against any odds, challenging anything in her path without hesitation. No, he saw beyond the image others would grant you. You can't even handle your own problems; instead you run away from the others, throw a childish tantrum in the middle of some forest.

Lina winced, but her doubts continued without hesitation. Did you forget your little display? How can he expect you to fight at his side, help him find his cure…when in reality you are nothing but a weak little girl? Luna tried making you stronger than that, working such weakness out of you, but apparently she failed.

Angry at the harassing thoughts, a growl managed to sneak past her clenched teeth. Abruptly she stood, eyes narrowed and burning. "That's enough!" She hissed at the fire, as if that would stop her self-accusations.

He probably got tired of supporting you after all these years, always being the one to bail you out when you made a mistake. You were supposed to be the leader, the strong one. You should be helping him, not the other way around.

"Quiet!"

Maybe a gentle healer like Sylphiel, or a spoiled princess like Amelia can afford to be weaker, more emotional…but you gave up any chance at that kind of life a long time ago. You were supposed to be better than that, made of sterner stuff. You've controlled chaos incarnate, been good enough for Her to heed your call!

Then again, maybe the legends give you too much credit. Your triumphs were a fluke of the past, for a stronger you now gone. Maybe he finally noticed the change, saw the true Lina.

She didn't speak, didn't think about answering or defending herself. The fire jumped wildly when another log hit it suddenly, but she was gone before it settled back down. If the light and company wouldn't comfort her, maybe darkness and a bit of solitude would. If nothing else, it would give her the opportunity to yell without fear of waking anyone.

You know what they say; touch a nerve, strike the truth.

"Damn it all! Can't you stop hounding me even for a moment? Shouldn't I be able to give myself a little break?" She yelled into the night, stopping suddenly.

It wasn't until the chill dampness of the ground hit her, that Lina finally realized she was sitting. Her back against a tree, she ignored the growing feeling of cold seeping into her skin, both from below and behind. At first she tried brushing it off, her attention focused on staying silent, avoiding a possible repeat of her reaction a few days ago. Despite her efforts, it wasn't long before things caught up to her, not that it mattered as much anymore. She could afford to cry a bit now, have her moment of vulnerability and weakness. No one would hear her or judge her; hell, the only person that mattered wouldn't be showing up this time…but wasn't that the root of her current troubles?

Lina let herself cry a few tears; silent things that ran down her face, dripping off her chin only to get lost in the damp ground below…where no one would ever find them, see the evidence of something so unlike the her that others knew.

Shifting a bit, she rested her forehead against her knees. Here, all alone for just a moment, the legends didn't matter. The tales of crystal blood and a stone heart, assumptions of how she would act in any situation, react to things said or implied. The hidden opinions seemed so trivial…yet held a deadliness that matched many a spell in their own secret, twisting way. The night was all that watched her now; shadows and sky, silent trees that shielded her from the world without suffocating, darkness that hid her slight failure. They wouldn't judge her…after all, like called to like. They were her kin in a way, and they wouldn't betray her even if everyone else did.

When dawn arrived, the others would find her beside the dying fire. She would be the old Lina once again, donning their image of her as easily as she did her own gear. Zel's disappearance would no longer matter, neither would Amelia's theatrics. They would have a new quest; some treasure just awaiting discovery, some ruin in need of exploration…maybe even a foe to take her anger out on. Her eyes would light up at the mention of food or coin, and she would be the solid, dependable leader once again…despite her classic temper, her stints of 'unjust' behavior. Only the darkness would see past the illusion, her attempt at acting the legend she'd been trapped in. Only the shadows would know better…them, and one chimera shaman, off wandering somewhere alone.