A/N: As you can see, I've decided to use American Sign Language (ASL) as Jason's main form of communication. I don't actually know the language, but I thought it would be a cool idea as not many people feature mute and/or deaf people as characters in their stories. Anyway, with the consideration that I don't know ASL, please don't flame me if I screw any signs or grammar up. Big thanks to Awkward Alex who's helping me out with this language! :D Don't forget to leave a comment!
Sleeping wasn't easy for Ellie. Faces kept flashing by. Tess', Sam's, all the people she killed, their faces frozen in one last scream. One face would materialize into the next, over and over. These people would never see their families again, if they had any left. They wouldn't get to see another sunrise, or sunset. They would never see their friends and comrades again. Did they really need to die? It was them or her, Ellie kept telling herself. That didn't stop the guilt from turning dreams into nightmares. The final battle with David kept replaying in her foggy mind, the fear paralyzing her limbs and making her think one thing: kill, or be killed.
Ellie felt like she was falling for a second, before she woke with a start. Joel's face came into focus, and she realized he was carrying her now. "We're back already?" The young girl asked groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She glanced around, and saw that night had truly fallen now. The stars could be seen scattered across the black sky, twinkling like a billion tiny suns.
"Yeah, we're home, baby girl. We got some discussing to do, but that'll have to wait until morning. Right now it's time to sleep." Joel said gruffly. He yawned as Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck to ease the amount of weight on his arms.
Ellie looked at Jason, who was just dismounting his horse. He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes as if he was saying, "What do you have to say for yourself?"
The redhead sighed, getting the message. "Yeah, I know that was pretty stupid, but then again, you're not me. You don't know what I'm going through." She stated coldly.
Jason signed 'no', and gave her a sympathetic look. He touched his fingertips to his chin, and then patted something imaginary on his wrist, like he was patting the sun good night.
Ellie guessed, "Good night?" Jason nodded and gave her a wave, before grabbing the lead rope of one horse and the bridle of the other. "Hey, wait." Ellie called softly after him. The boy turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Thanks for coming after me…are you mad at me for stealing a horse?"
The dark-haired boy made a fist and rubbed his thumb and index finger together, and Ellie nodded. "A little, huh? I expected that…would you be mad if I showed up tomorrow?"
Before he could answer, Joel cut in. "You're not going anywhere until that ankle of yours is healed up. No horses for you, young lady. You're grounded."
Ellie groaned in protest, and Jason frowned. He snapped his fingers to get the pair's attention. Jason pointed to the house, then to himself. He then pointed a thumb at himself, and gave a thumbs-up gesture. "I didn't get the last part…you want to come inside, and then what?" The redhead furrowed her brow. Jason sighed, drawing a small notepad and a stubby pencil from his back pocket, using the saddle to write on. Ellie figured he used it a lot with people who didn't know sign language.
Jason ripped the note off the pad and gave it to her, unknowingly giving the pencil as well. The young girl squinted in the darkness, and read it out loud. "Can I come here tomorrow?" Her face lit up as she understood. "Oh, I get it now! Pointing at something, then yourself means come. That thumb thing means tomorrow, right?"
The boy gave her a so-so gesture, and looked hopefully at Joel. The older man considered the offer for a moment. He shook his head, his mouth set in its usual line. "Sorry, I said she's grounded. No friends, no horses, no nothing." He said with finality.
Jason's shoulders dropped, he waved Ellie goodbye, and walked back to the barn with the horses. He stopped as he felt something hit the back of his shoulder. Bending down, he picked up his crumpled note and pencil, shoving them in his pocket. After he had turned the horses out, the dark-haired boy took out the crumpled piece of paper, and discovered someone scrawled on the back of it.
"Come to house tomorrow. 7 p.m. Joel will be out of house, I'll make sure."
Jason smiled as he put the note back in his pocket. Tomorrow was going to be a good day.
Ellie awoke to the smell of frying eggs the next morning. Her stomach growled with hunger, and she removed the blankets from her body. She was still in her checkered red jacket and jeans. Her right ankle was still in its makeshift splint. Ellie got out of bed and hobbled to the door, careful not to put pressure on her right leg.
"What's for breakfast?" The redhead asked as she used the wall as a crutch to get herself to the table. Joel practically radiated anxiety as he walked over with two plates, each with one over-easy egg and two strips of bacon. "This is a feast! Where'd this come from?" Ellie asked as he tore into her breakfast.
"The neighbours brought a house-warming gift. Turns out that boy Jason's family lives two houses over. His mother brought over a basket with eggs, bacon strips, and a few apples. Her husband was with her and said it could also be considered as payment for your work yesterday." Joel said gruffly as he bit into his bacon.
The young girl nodded. "What's Jason's mom like?"
Joel thought for a moment, trying to find the best words to describe the woman. "Quiet. Seems like a kind enough lady. Pretty sure she can't hear, though. She uses her hands to talk." He summarized, chewing his egg.
"She is deaf, Joel. Shane told me yesterday." Ellie said, finishing her breakfast. "Don't talk with your mouth full, either." She added curtly, placing her fork on her plate to signify she was done.
The young girl's tone surprised the old man. "What's up with…oh, right. We have to talk. I'll take these away so you can't throw anything at me." He said half-seriously as he gathered up the plates and utensils, putting them in the sink.
"Now, where to begin…" Joel furrowed his brow; his age seemed to skip ahead ten years in the span of a second.
"The hospital. What happened?" Ellie demanded, sitting back in her wooden chair and crossing her arms.
"They put you to sleep, and they were going to operate on you. I couldn't let them." Joel replied, thinking back to the surgeon's recording and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"What were they going to do?" The redhead asked cautiously, leaning forward.
The older man sighed heavily before answering, "Marlene said they were going to reverse engineer a vaccine. Then I found out that the only way they could do that was to slice open your head and take out your brain, to examine the mutated fungus that made you immune."
Ellie let the information sink in for a moment. A short silence stretched between them, and it was broken by the young girl. "So they were going to kill me. Joel, what's one life when hundreds could have been saved? I could've been the cure! Plus, my life had already gone to shit; it would have been a favor."
"That's not true, and you know it. What if they did create a cure, what then? You think they haven't already tried? You think you're the only one on this goddamned planet who is immune to being infected? It would have been just another thing to control people with, Ellie! Is that what you want?" Joel's voice raised a fraction, and he caught himself before he could start shouting.
Ellie looked down, frowning. "No…people are desperate enough as they are. But Joel…then what was it all for? I'm no use to anyone now; I'm just a good-for-nothing killer that can't get infected. What's the point of that? What's the point of anything now? All I see is the faces of the people I've killed, and the ones I couldn't save." Her eyes stung, thinking about all of the good people who were lost on the way to nowhere.
"What if you did save someone? If you could have saved one person on this whole journey, would everything have been worth it?" Joel rested his forearms on the table, expectant.
The red-haired girl thought for a moment. "Life is precious…it's snuffed out in the blink of an eye these days. So yeah, I guess it would have been worth it."
Joel was silent for a moment. "Well, then you're looking at the one person you saved." He said, looking Ellie in the eye as she picked her head up.
"I…I saved you? You took me from that hospital because you couldn't stand losing the one person who saved your ass? You selfish bastard." Ellie replied with a grin. "I'm glad I got stuck with you. Dad."
The old man smiled back for the first time in what felt like years. "Yeah, it was selfish of me, wasn't it? I couldn't bear it if I had to live without you. It wouldn't have been living, anyway. It would have just been…not dying. Or getting as close to not dying as possible." Joel reached across the table to squeeze Ellie's hand. "I'll have to get used to the name change, baby girl, but I like it." He chuckled, letting go of her hand.
The young girl fell silent for a moment, gazing out the front window of the house. "Marlene's dead, isn't she? They all are, aren't they?" Her tone was soft, distant.
Joel bit his lip. He said nothing. He didn't need to. Ellie let out a shaky breath. "Oh fuck, Joel…"
"I didn't have a choice, Ellie. Don't think you're the only one who's going through something. I feel just as guilty as you do. Maybe even more…" The older man trailed off, looking down at his hands.
"So what do we do now? We both feel like the guilt is going to tear us apart, and we know we can't change anything. How do you deal with shit like that?" Ellie said somberly, letting out a heavy sigh.
"It'll get better with time. Stuff like what you went through doesn't just go away now that you're safe again. Now tell me, what the hell possessed you to take off like that yesterday?" Joel's tone turned from serious to irritated.
The redhead shrugged. "I was just…mad. I needed to get away, figure stuff out by myself. A horse was the best way to do that. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I would've come back…eventually."
Joel raised an eyebrow. "You would have run away for an unknown period of time, with no food, water, or means to defend yourself? Does that sound like a good idea now? Do you know what could have happened-" He crossed his arms with a frown, but was cut off by a knock at the door.
"Come in!" Ellie shouted, and the door opened to reveal a not-so-chipper Tommy.
"What's the problem, Tommy?" Joel made to stand up, but Tommy held a hand out to stop him.
"Nothing, I just had a rough morning. I came to check on Ellie. I heard you had a broken ankle, little lady. Do you want to get it properly splinted?" The younger sibling of the two men gave her a stern look, which didn't fit well with his usually bright demeanor.
"Yeah, I think I could do with a good splint. Joel needs his shirt back." Ellie said non-chalantly as Tommy went to pick her up. He turned to Joel with Ellie in his arms. "I'll have her back in a jiffy. Oh, by the way, I need you on patrol tonight in the turbine room. Think you can handle it?" He said carefully, gauging Joel's expression.
Tommy's older brother nodded. "What time?"
"At dinnertime, about 6:00. You'll have a three-hour shift." Tommy replied, turning towards the door.
"Keep her on a short leash! She's a sneaky girl, that one!" The older of the two men shouted as the door closed. He heard Ellie laugh sarcastically. Inside, she was rejoicing at the fact that she could meet with Jason for two whole hours.
As Ellie was carried by Tommy to the infirmary, the latter started up a conversation to pass the time on the long walk. "You do know you're banned from the barn until further notice, right?" Tommy spoke, picking up a brisk walk.
"Yeah, Joel already grounded me. It's not like I could go anywhere though, huh?" The redhead snorted, glancing at the sky. It was a bright blue, without a cloud to be seen. The sun shone brightly, and it was already getting hot. Small birds chirped from the roofs of houses, and she could hear a dog barking on the next street over.
Tommy chuckled, and fell silent. After a few minutes, he spoke, "Maria was really worried about you, you know. She wouldn't stop fretting until you came back. Said you looked cute, all cozied up to Jason." He flashed a knowing smile, earning a light thump on the back of his shoulder. "Hey, her words, not mine. Plus, the poor boy could use a friend. He works all day in the barn, from dawn until dusk. I never saw him hang out with any kids his age in the year he's lived here."
Ellie furrowed her brow. "What happened to him, Tommy?"
The brown-haired man sighed, gaze becoming distant. "It's not my story to tell, Ellie. You'll have to pry that out of him yourself. All I can say is, he's been through some rough stuff, just like you, just like anyone else here." He explained vaguely. He carried her in silence until they reached the infirmary, which was a warehouse that had half of it converted into a hospital ward, or as close to one as the citizens of Jackson County could make it. There were 20 beds in all, with white sheets and curtains for privacy. A few men slept on the beds, legs or arms bandaged. "They must have been the hunters from yesterday." Ellie determined.
Tommy set her on a bed and began to untie the reins and shirt that held the split together. He took Ellie's boot and sock off as gently as he could, and examined her ankle. Ellie looked down at it, and grimaced at the amount of swelling. She winced as he prodded it with his fingertips.
"Actually…I don't think it's broken. It just feels like a bad sprain. I'll get a splint and some ice for you, okay?" The younger man said as he got up. Ellie winced as the moving mattress shifted her injured ankle. She gazed up at the ceiling while she waited, noticing the slightly rusted metal. Even things meant to last forever don't last that long.
It wasn't long before Joel's younger brother came back with a pack of ice, a plastic splint, two pillows, and thick bandages. He propped up Ellie's ankle with the pillows, and carefully placed the ice on her ankle. "That should do it for now, just keep that on for about half an hour or so. Then we'll put everything else on. You're going to have to ice it every three or four hours, depending on how much the swelling goes down. You're lucky you didn't break anything. First time I rode a horse, it bucked me off and I broke my arm. That's how I met Maria, oddly enough." Tommy chuckled at the memory.
"Can you tell me the story? Maria never did." Ellie asked, eager to hear how the pair met.
Tommy sat back, scratching the back of his head, unsure. He looked at Ellie again, who was giving him puppy-dog eyes. "Alright, I'll tell you. Everybody else knows it, anyway. Well, except for Joel." He gave in, pulling up a stool. "About five years ago, I ended up here after leaving the Fireflies. I earned my keep as a sentry, helped out with patrols, hunted to provide food, you name it; I did it. Then, I saw this beautiful woman, who happened to be in charge of training the horses. So I thought, 'hey, there's a job I haven't done before: training horses. I might just get me a date as a bonus." He stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder.
Maria had walked up to them, smirking. "Telling the girl how we met, huh? I'll take it from here. In any case, this idiot thought he could train one of the wildest colts we had at the time. We still have him, and use him for breeding. Anyway, Tommy here got on the horse, and it threw him so high, I thought he was going to clear the roof-" She got cut off by Tommy.
"Now, now, no need to exaggerate. I only got thrown over the fence...which was about seven feet high. I broke my arm, and couldn't use it for six weeks. Maria was so impressed I survived without cracking my head like an egg, she asked if I'd like to work with her. Not training horses, of course. The rest is history. Isn't that right, honey?" The brown-haired man smiled at his wife, who shoved him playfully.
"Your skull is so thick, I'm sure nothing could break it. You make it seem like working with you was a walk in the park. Not only were you incompetent at riding, I had to teach you everything. You spent most of your day on the catwalk beside the barn roof, watching the clouds pass by." Maria snorted, shaking her head.
Tommy chuckled, "Don't forget making out with you behind the barn. That was the only thing I didn't get my ass kicked for doing."
The blond woman rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Tommy. I still kick your ass for doing nothing. Anyway, I've gotta go. This place isn't going to run itself." She turned on her heel was stalked out of the infirmary. Ellie swore Maria was blushing slightly as she left.
Tommy laughed again. "Yep, that's how we met. We got married a year after my little stunt. Best decision I ever made. You keep that ice on until that clock hits half-past, okay? I've got some errands to attend to." He pointed to the round analog clock on the wall in front of Ellie. It was almost 10:00. Tommy got up and left the warehouse, waving Ellie goodbye.
The redhead sighed, thinking about Tommy's story. She never knew Maria trained horses. She made a mental note to ask her for tips, so Jason could use them. In the meantime, she thought about the dark-haired boy. Tommy said he didn't have many friends. It seemed odd, since he was so likable. Maybe it was because he couldn't talk that he didn't have any friends? There seemed to be something amiss. How could you go a whole year without making friends with anyone? "He must have been really lonely…there has to be a reason, though." Ellie thought, scrunching her brow. Maybe there were rumors about him because he couldn't speak? Even after the Apocalypse, kids could still be pretty mean. She had firsthand experience with that.
Half-an-hour later Tommy came back and splinted Ellie's ankle. She had to admit it felt much more secure than the previous one. The younger man gave her a crutch and she was on her way back to her house. While limping along, she ran into a few girls who were walking down the street. They looked about her age. They waved to her and she waved back with a small smile. The three girls stopped to talk with her.
"Hey, I haven't seen you around here before. What's your name?" One of the girls asked. She had long, blonde hair braided down her back, and wore a faded blue T-shirt with a dolphin on it, or what was left of it. Her denim jeans had a few holes in them, as did her running shoes. Her blue eyes sparkled with happiness, though. They darkened as they rested on Ellie's ankle. "Oh, what happened to your ankle?" She asked worriedly.
"My name's Ellie. I uhh…fell off a horse. What's your name?" The red-haired girl asked in reply.
"My name's Hailey. This is Rachel, and that's Katie. Want to hang out with us?" The blonde girl pointed to a brunette standing beside her, and then to a girl with black hair, who definitely didn't look American. Ellie identified her as Chinese.
"That would be great, but I can't. Maybe some other time?" The redhead looked apologetic, and mentally swore at Joel for grounding her.
"That sounds like a plan, then! Nice meeting you, Ellie!" Katie said as she and the others waved goodbye, and continued walking down the dirt street, chatting animatedly to each other.
Ellie sighed and hobbled the rest of the way to her and Joel's house. She plopped down on the couch, gingerly placing her injured ankle on the couch's arm. She noticed that Joel was nowhere to be found. "Joel? Dad?" Ellie called out, concern washing over her at the seemingly empty house.
"In here, Ellie!" The older man called from the office at the end of the hall. He strode out of the room, and pulled up a chair next to her. "How're you feeling?" Joel asked, inclining his head towards her ankle.
Ellie let out a puff of air. "Not bad. Tommy just said I had a bad sprain. I'm supposed to ice my ankle every three hours." She summarized. "Oh, I met these three girls on my way back. I couldn't hang out with them because I was grounded, though." The young girl said moodily, giving Joel a dark look.
"Well, actions have consequences. Listen, I have to go stock up on food, especially ice for that ankle of yours. Did you know we have plumbing, and water? Tommy runs a damn good place here. We can actually keep stuff cold in the fridge." Joel looked optimistic for once as he left the house. "I'll be back in an hour, and I expect you to be here when I come back." He said sternly as he stepped over the threshold.
Ellie sighed, gazing up once more at the ceiling. There were a few cracks in the wood that let the sun shine through, but nothing else was interesting. She looked out the window, watching people stroll by, some with children, and others alone. Pretty soon she felt her eyelids growing heavy, and drifted off into a light sleep.