Chapter 3

The next time they were on shift together, a few days later, they avoided each other like the plague. Charlie was feeling it more so than Duffy. He was afraid he'd ruined their friendship, worse still that they couldn't be as close as they were before it all. He hated not being able to talk to her. But, he also knew, when she'd calmed down she'd talk to him again. Or if not, then it was over forever between them, as they were no longer capable of being friends.

"Duffy, um, can I...?" He asked her as she walked passed him through the cubicles.

"Sorry, I've got a patient who um..." Duffy replied, not able to look at him, as she carried on walking.

"Oh, um, ok. Later then?" Charlie asked, trying harder to give him an answer.

She didn't reply, just walked away from him.

The next time he saw her, he was walking up the stairs, as she was walking down them.

They stopped as they saw each other, she sighed first, as she looked at him, then tilted she tilted her head up looking away from him, and continued further down the steps.

"Duffy?" He called after, he sighed, and frowned.

She just continued to walk away from him.

A few hours later, when the department had quietened down, he finally managed to catch her attention, as she was chatting to Amy at the receptionist desk.

"Duffy, can I have a word?" Charlie said, as he frowned at her, and stood at the end of the desk nearest his office.

"Um, can it wait?" Duffy replied, as she looked at him, then gestured to her conversation with Amy.

"Not really. It's about the vacant staff nurse position." He explained.

"Oh, um, right, yes. Um. Ok. Sorry Amy, I'll not be long." Duffy said, as she blushed slightly, and kicked herself inside, as she had forgotten about the post, and she had discussed it with him on their last shift together.

Duffy then walked over to Charlie's office, he closed the door behind her, as he walked into the room, then sat down in his chair, making it more professional.

"Do you, um, want to um, sit maybe? We'll be here a while." He asked her, as he gestured towards the other chair in the room.

"Oh? Um, will we, right, oh. Ok." She replied, clearly getting even more embarrassed, he was making this about work.

"Before we go into it all the details of the position. Um, I just want to, um, clear the air a bit." Charlie said, as he looked at her timidly.

"Oh?" Duffy said, as she rose her eyebrow at him.

"I don't want anything to change between us Duffy. In here, in here I am your boss. Well, if you still want to apply for the job that is. But, out there, and when it is just us, I am your friend. I still want to be, um, that's if you still want us to be friends that is. I really don't want us to change." He said, as he looked at her, the worry in his voice, and also written on his face.

Duffy just sighed at him, then looked down at her hands.

"Charlie, um", she sighed again.

"Duffy please." Charlie pleaded.

"You're a great nurse, you know that too, you are more than qualified for the position. And I know you need this job, you told me remember. But, I need to know we are ok too. Can't you see that?" Charlie asked her, as he looked over at her.

She sighed, as she raised her head up and nodded at him.

"Good." He replied.

"Friends then?" He added.

She looked at him, shyly smiled at him, then nodded, "yeah, yeah, we're friends."

Charlie sighed with relief, "phew." He then smiled contently.

"Right, um, so the staff nurse position..." He began to explain the nature of the role, not that he needed to, she knew all too well what it entailed.

She just looked at him as he spoke, not that she was really paying any attention. She looked at his expressions, his eyes, his mouth, how she could still strangely taste the whiskey on her tongue every time she looked at him. She sighed, this is so hard. Being so close to him. But, he was right, it wasn't worth it, they were married, and they simply didn't want to risk it all over a silly kiss, or it leading to something they'd both hate themselves for afterwards. But, it was so hard, so very, very hard.

-x-

When she left his office, she'd written up her application, and signed the relevant forms. She'd thanked him, and they'd not spoken about anything personal between them after their initial chat. She sighed, smiled to herself, but then looked up to the ceiling and rolled her eyes at herself, as she headed in the direction of the staff room to put her forms away.

As she stood putting the paperwork into her bag in her locker, she told herself... get a grip Lisa. They'd made their peace, well, sort of. But, it still didn't help being that close to him. It made her want him more, and that thought scared her, terrified her even. So, she'd just have to maintain their status-quo, and simply ignore it. He was right, it would ruin them, or their marriages. It wasn't worth the risk.

He, however, sat at his desk his head in his heads, and shook his head at himself. Stop it Charlie, for God's sake. At least you haven't lost her for good. So stop thinking about her like that. But he couldn't help it, being in the same space as her made his heart race, and his palms sweat. Thankfully when he'd explained the nature of the job, it distracted him. He couldn't think any inappropriate thoughts, and discuss work at the same time. But, that was it, she had applied for the full-time position, and signed on the dotted line. He knew as soon as she'd put pen to paper it was pretty much a done deal she'd get the role. He was pleased, so was she. But, it didn't help that they would be working in the same place, he needed to clear the air between them, he owed her that much. And he certainly didn't want her to leave either, she belonged here as much as he did. And knowing that she would be able to have a stable job, and it would help her home life too. He was grateful she had accepted his apology, so they could at least move forward. He just hoped they didn't cross that line again, or it would ruin them for good, or totally destroy both their families in the process. He was so torn. He loved Baz and Louis, but, he was beginning to fall in love with Duffy all over again, and that thought terrified him. He didn't want to be that bloke who splits up two families. Not him, definitely not what he wanted at all. So, he would just have to ignore it all. Keep up the pretence. He just hoped he could do it. He had to.

After the first few shifts together they seemed to relax back into their normal friendly relationship. Teasing each other helped, and it broke the ice when things got too complicated for them.

"How was I to know she'd meant she'd left her dog at the shopping centre. I mean who calls their dog Gerald?" Charlie said, as he stood there shocked and slightly irritated, at the nurses station, as Duffy and Amy laughed at him.

"They've called for Gerald on the tannoy for the past two hours, not a word. And then a security guard found the dog tied to the entrance of the shopping arcade. His name tag said: Gerald Forsyth – 23 Tykes Lane, Holby. Owner: Mrs Dorothy Forsyth." Amy explained to Duffy, as she couldn't contain her laughter.

Duffy just shook her head and laughed at Charlie.

"You couldn't make it up could you. Ha, ha, ha, ha." Duffy laughed heartily.

Charlie just frowned at her, and shook his head, then began to chuckle himself.

"No, no, I guess not." He smiled at Duffy, as it had been the first time she'd seen her laugh in days, it made him smile too.

"Right, well, I better go and break the news to Mrs Forsyth then. Her Gerald had been found. His tail between his legs, so to speak, ha ha, too much maybe?" Charlie said, then laughed at his own joke.

"Just a little bit." Duffy said, then giggled as she realised what she'd referred to.

Charlie just smirked at her, and walked off.

"At least he saw the funny side. He wouldn't usually." Amy mentioned to Duffy, as she watched him walk away.

"Oh?" Duffy asked, as she slowly finished chuckling.

"He's usually quite stern about things like that. A waste of our time and resources, when they could just explain it properly in the first place." Amy explained, giving her an example of what he'd usually say in that instance.

"Yeah, yeah, that does sound like Charlie actually. But, he does have a wicked sense of humour too though. When he's in the right mood that is." Duffy mentioned.

"I wouldn't know, he only seems to be like that with you. But then you've known him longer." Amy pointed out.

"Oh? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. Must be that then." Duffy nervously replied, sensing that Amy had picked up on a difference between them.

"Well, best get back to work, or he'll be back shouting the odds, eh?" Duffy added, distracting Amy's conversation away from how close they were.

"Oh, yeah, yeah." Amy said, as she winked at her, then walked back to the reception area.

Duffy stood and looked down the corridor and noticed Charlie coming out of the cubicle. He'd shaken his head in frustration, as soon as he'd shut the curtains to Mrs Forsyth's cubicle. Was there a point to what Amy had said? Was he different with her than the rest of his staff? He couldn't have changed that much? Or could he? She hadn't worked with him in years, but she knew him, the real him, a lot more than anyone else here. Even Josh. So, she was wondering if Amy was right. So, she decided to find out what she could about him. Maybe it was something else entirely, but she was curious all the same.

-x-

She'd noticed he'd spoken quite harshly to Eve, George, and Sam, all in the space of half the shift. She couldn't understand his attitude, he didn't need to be so off with them. He'd even had a go at Sonny. She realised that what Amy had said may well be true. He was a bit too much sometimes. It just didn't seem like him. He seemed, well, uptight, and wound up. She sighed, probably my fault, she'd thought, and shook her head. Maybe if she were to ask Josh. See if he had noticed, or, if in fact he had just changed, and that was it.

"Are we going to stand around gossiping all day, or are we going to treat some patients?" Charlie said, as he walked into the nurse's station to see Chloe, Tina, and Sam chatting amongst themselves.

"Sorry Charlie." Chloe said.

"Um, sorry." Tina added.

"Yeah, Charlie, sorry." Sam said.

They all quickly dispersed and got on with what ever they were supposed to be doing.

He sighed as he sat down at the desk and took out his pen to fill in a form he was carrying in his files.

Duffy bent down slightly and said to him.

"Did you have to be so hard on them?"

"Well, we don't have time to stand around all day do we?" Charlie replied, as he wrote a few words on the paper in front of him.

"No, but, it is a tough job sometimes. Things get to them too. Not everyone is immune to it all you know. Chloe had just lost her patient, and they were just reassuring her." Duffy explained as she gave him a look, to tell him he was being too hard on them.

Charlie sighed, and looked up at her.

"Oh, um. Right. Well, um." Charlie didn't know what to say, it is almost like he wasn't used to it, or that she'd said what no one else would.

"Are you always like this?" She asked, as she could tell he was taken aback slightly by her comments.

"Well, who else is going to get them to work?" Charlie replied, a little bit abruptly.

"Charlie?" Duffy said, in amazement at his tone.

He then sighed, and put his hand to head, and looked up at her as he spoke.

"I'm the manager of this department Duffy, I don't have the time to let them laze about all day chatting. We're stretched as it is. No beds. Queues waiting in reception. And they just stand there gossiping." Charlie said, as he waved his pen around in emphasis.

"Well, that's put me in my place then hasn't it?" Duffy said, as she folded her arms at him and walked off.

"Duffy?" Charlie said, as he called after her, but just sighed and watched her walk down the corridor.

-o-

"The self righteous, self centred..." Duffy said, as she stormed into the staff room.

"Ah, you've had the wrath of Charlie too then?" Sam asked, as he stood getting some money from his locker, just for some change to give to a patient so they could have a cup of coffee.

"Ha, yeah. Is he always so, so..." Duffy said, as she turned to look at him.

"Bad tempered?" Sam interrupted.

"Um, yeah, always has been. You should know though? Right?" Sam asked her, as he closed his locker.

"Um, yeah, ha, right, yeah." She stood and frowned at him, deep in thought.

She knew it wasn't right, something was bothering Charlie, and it wasn't their friendship, it was deeper than that. Baz maybe? Or just work getting to him? Despite their escapades a few days ago, she thought things were getting back to normal between them. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was getting to him more than she thought. It must be. She sighed, if she asked him about it though, that could open up a whole can of worms between them. Maybe if she tried a different approach. See if she could just be there for him, maybe he had something on his mind and couldn't tell anyone but her about it? It's worth a try at least.

"You ok Duffy?" Sam asked, as he noticed she was quiet all of a sudden.

"Erm, yeah, yeah. I'll be fine." Duffy said, as she sighed, then walked back out of the room.

Sam just frowned at her, and shook his head. Charlie had that effect on everyone, so it didn't seem that odd to him to see her reaction.

-x-

She'd decided to leave him until the end of the shift, he was no use talking to when he was in a foul mood. And, the way he spoke to her, she was tempted that it would only lead to a further argument and that isn't what she wanted either. So, she took a deep breath, straightened down her tunic, and walked off towards reception for the next patient.

By the time she'd noticed the time, and the next staffing shift had arrived, she looked a little disheartened that he hadn't come to her first, to apologise for his behaviour, something he usually did. So, she sighed and walked towards the staff room, grabbed her bag to change, and headed to the changing rooms. Thankfully she was the only one in there. So she proceeded to change. By the time she'd finished putting on her blouse she stuffed her tunic in her bag, and zipped it up. She unlocked the cubicle, and left the room. When she opened the main door into the hallway, she looked up and saw him stood at the end of the corridor, waiting for her. He'd changed also, and looked up at her when he saw her.

She frowned at him, unsure how to react.

"Charlie?"

"Um, Duffy, look, can we talk?" He said, as he seemed lost and upset somehow.

"Um, yeah, if you don't have a go at me again." Duffy said, getting one over him, he deserved it anyway.

"Um, yeah, about that. I'm sorry. Just, the way everything is in the department at the moment. I just got a bit stressed. I'm sorry I snapped at you." He said, as he put his hand to his neck and rubbed it.

"Well, seen as though you've apologised, you can, but, no alcohol, ok. And, in the pub, somewhere busy. Right." Duffy said, as she gave him a knowing look.

"Yeah, yeah course." He replied, as he seemed sheepish.

"Ok, come on then. I'll just quickly put these in my locker." Duffy said, as she acknowledged her bag with her uniform in.

"Right, yeah, ok. I'll wait for you outside ok?" Charlie suggested.

"Ok." Duffy said, as she quickly walked passed him and into the staff room.

When they met again, she looked at him with worried eyes. Something was really upsetting him, and it didn't look good.

"Well?" She asked, as they walked down the corridor.

"Not here yeah." Charlie said, as he opened the doors for her as they walked down the corridor towards reception.

"Oh, ok." Duffy said, as she didn't think it was that serious.

"So, um, a part from my outburst earlier, um, good shift?" Charlie asked, trying to make small talk.

"Um, well, I suppose..." Duffy began to explain the ins and outs of the last twelve hours, on their walk over to the pub. He filled her in on why he'd been so stressed, at work at least, not the real reason.

By the time they made it to the pub, he'd ordered them both orange juice. They'd then found a corner of the pub, which was just quiet enough to talk, but in view of everyone, so not overly private. They say, and took their coats off, before he dropped the bombshell on her.

He sighed before he spoke.

"Baz wants me to move to Birmingham."

"What?" She replied, a little louder than she'd expected.

He sighed again.

"She says it's not working between us, she misses me too much, so does Louis." He'd added.

"Oh." She'd replied.

"And do you want to?" Duffy asked, swallowing hard.

"I miss them, course I do, but, my job is here, my life is here. I've never worked anywhere else. I told her I'd think about it." He'd explained.

"I see." Duffy replied, as she shook her head in amazement.

"Is it wrong of me not want to move Duffy?" He asked, turning to look at her.

"Well, um, I don't know I'm the best person to answer that right now. Not under the circumstances." Duffy replied honestly.

Charlie sighed at her response.

"I'm sorry, this isn't want you needed to hear is it? It's my problem, I'll deal with it." Charlie replied.

"That's not what I meant Charlie." Duffy explained.

"I know, I know", he sighed again.

"She'll hate me for staying here. But, I can't do it Duffy. Not now anyway", he sighed again.

"Charlie, this is your wife, and son, you have to do what's right for you all. I know, it's hard on you. But, if it means you'll be with them." Duffy suggested.

"I know, I know. She's mentioned they have band 6 nurse positions available. But, that means a huge cut in my salary. I earn much more than that here. It isn't worth it financially anyway. And, then there's the shift patterns. By the time we've both done our shifts we'll only see each other maybe one or twice a week anyway. It's not worth it. I see them more now, and earn more now. But, she doesn't see it like that." Charlie explained.

"So, what are you going to do about it then?" Duffy asked.

"I dunno, got any suggestions?" He asked, as he turned to look at her.

"Um." She looked at him, but couldn't help the feeling in her pit of her stomach at his words, and the look in his eyes.

"Well, I um." She added, getting a bit flustered.

"See, it's hopeless. I can't win either way," he sighed, and took a gulp of his orange juice.

"You could just, well, um, spoil her more, treat her more, do more things together when you go back to see her. Make out that if you do move back, you'll have less money, less time together. And, see if that works." Duffy suggested, as she took a sip of her orange juice.

"That's it, you know you're right. That could work." He said, pleased with her ideas, as they sunk in more for him, he began to smile.

"Thanks Duffy." He said, as he took another sip of his orange juice, and raised it to her for a toast.

"Cheers." He added, and smiled.

"No problem." She shyly smiled back at him.

They then spoke about the position she'd applied for, a few more details to do with what had happened with Chloe and her patient earlier. Duffy told him to go easy on everyone, it's not their fault the department is so busy. He agreed with her, and asked her to tell him when he gets too much in future. He also thanked her for telling him, because no one else had, or dared to, just her. She giggled at him at that, well, she did know him more than anyone else. He agreed, and they laughed. Things between them had returned to normal, she had managed to cheer him up, and was there for him when she knew he needed it. The kiss they'd shared earlier a mere shadow in their minds now. Well, sometimes. But, they'd settled their differences, and left an hour later, walking off in separate directions, with no awkwardness between them.

-x