So. Here we are. Oh and, for these shorter stories I usually use titles or lines from songs as titles for chapters. And try to keep a theme in every story. And the theme for this story is titles of songs originally made or covered by Declan Galbraith. You should really check the songs out- especially tell me why. They're amazing.
Oh, and as you have maybe seen I added a new cover- picture to this. It's a bunch of loom band hearts (Yes, the kind that Chelsea makes) with like a thousand loom bands. Yes, I made them, yes, I shot the picture and put text on it and I hope you're liking the new cover- picture.
Also, each shoutout goes to LocalXmusicXjellybeanX and GleeJunkie007 for giving their thoughts on Charlie's name.
Oh and I have planned out and taken notes on what will happen through the rest of this story. And my original plan of making this three chapters long kind of failed. So instead it will be a total of four chapters long. So it's this chapter and then one more after that.
I hope you like this chapter.
Around a week after Chelsea had met Martha and James for the first time it was Christmas Eve and the hospital was filled with glitter, Christmas music and whatever else that came along with it. Everyone seemed unusually happy and to peace, and there was that classic old, dement lady walking around the ward singing summer songs again.
Nothing was what it usually was. But most of it was, according to many and the most it changed for the better. But I hadn't been too keen of Christmas time since my Gina died. Christmas had been her favorite time of the year and… without her I just couldn't even get the box with thee Christmas things down from the attic.
It didn't take me too long to realize though, that with Jaylie in the house that was going to change. One morning when we both were home (James and Martha were with Chelsea) she asked me to bring the box with Christmas things down and I got it, and then left for the hospital to stay with Chelsea during the day. When Jaylie was staying with her for the night I'd came home to a house that was so filled with glitter and lights it made the ornaments Gina had done seem pale and boring.
(I didn't tell Jaylie though. But I probably would have preferred Gina's way to do it. Jay's was a bit over the top. But I knew that even though she wanted to stay with Chelsea, she didn't have to because of that. But because of work, and I knew it destroyed her that she wouldn't meet her family. So I just let her keep on doing what she was doing. Even when it meant I would dress up as Santa clause-again!)
Also in Chelsea's room things had changed. And it wasn't all in the few ornaments we had managed to sneak in- with Chelsea's eyes glittering of joy when she saw the glitter. Chelsea had also changed, the first day after I had told her about her mum she was destroyed and didn't speak to anyone except for James.
(James seemed to be her favorite out of everybody who ever came to see her. I couldn't blame her though. James seemed to be the only one that didn't treat Jaylie like she was made of glass.)
So, the next day when I had arrived Chelsea seemed all like before. And she told me that James had told her that if anyone had just left her like that, Chelsea shouldn't even care about them. Because they didn't deserve her feelings. And they're the ones who should feel bad about not getting to see her anymore.
From then on Chelsea quickly had gone back to the happy persona she had been before. Making her loom- band- hearts and talking whoever came into the room (Including the times it had been Sacha, Hanssen and Mo) to read her a story. I had bought some empty key rings when she had stated to need them for those hearts she was making, and with that she seemed happier than ever. Even though I still couldn't imagine what she was going to do with all of those hearts.
I had gone home for the night just two days ago, woken up early in the morning when my phone rang and answered a panicking Jaylie. Who had barely managed to stutter that something was very wrong with Chelsea. She had tried to do something and set on the emergency alarms. Several older and more experienced doctors had come in and with that Chelsea had been told to get out.
I had thrown myself out of the bed- as good as a guy over fifty could throw himself out of the bed and caught the first long- sleeved shirt I could find. Pulled it on along with my glasses and the sweatpants and T- shirt I used for pyjamas. And I had sped to the hospital, while it felt like I was moving too slow the whole way until I ran into the ward and rudely pushed Jaylie away to get to Chelsea's room.
Just as I came through the doors Chelsea's heart had gone back to a stable rhythm. But still, if it kept like this. New year's wasn't going to pass before we'd have to put Chelsea on a pump, then on a ventilator. And if nothing happened within a time that Chelsea could survive and she had a new heart. Then all hope was out and there would be nothing else to do.
And in all of that I could only hear Jac telling me I shouldn't let myself get so close to this girl. And I couldn't push it again. But the thought that I'd do anything- like anything, if it so meant giving my heart up for sale and switch it to one who had any sense of rationality with whom it would love and not love.
Chelsea was now sicker than aver. She actually slept around twenty hours a day and when she was awake she would weakly lay in her bed and let someone read her a story or fixing with her key ring hearts. Which seemed harder and harder for her to do and since yesterday Jaylie would have to do the hardest part with the most bands for her.
This Christmas eve I and Jaylie had brought God knows how many boxes with lunches and dinners for us all- Chelsea couldn't eat solid food by now. So also a small portable freezer had been brought in here full with smoothies that we had frozen on Popsicle sticks of different fruits, vegetables and berries. It wasn't much, but sucking on them would at least give her some vitamins and nutrition. And it was better than getting fed through needles.
We had also brought clothing that would last for several days. Everything so we wouldn't have to leave Chelsea alone during Christmas.
(Because who would have the heart to leave a six year old alone in a hospital room during Christmas?)
For now James and Martha were back at my house and getting each shower and a moment away from the hospital. But knowing them right they probably wouldn't be gone for long and then be back with the whole black bag we had with Christmas presents- most of them for Chelsea, and most of those containing things with prints from Frozen. Frozen was Chelsea's favorite movie, and the only movie she'd ever watch actually.
"Here" Jaylie brought me back to reality right now instead of wondering about everything that had happened lately with reaching me a box with salad, a can with diet coke and knife and fork. "Has something changed?" Jaylie too had been gone for a while just a bit earlier to get a shower and a moment to herself. I shook my head at her question. "Has she been asleep mostly?" I nodded and sighed looking too Chelsea. "It will be okay Mr. Hope. Chelsea's a trouper."
"As a somewhat early Christmas present or whatever to call it to you Jay." I started to change the subject. "Why don't you just start calling me Elliot? We live in the same house and everything so you might as well do that too." Jaylie smiled and turned to her salad and didn't answer. "Oh great, olives. You know me too well by now." I stuck the plastic fork down in my salad.
I could see Jaylie grimace slightly- there was nothing eatable she hated more than olives and only seeing me eating them… I just shook my head and continued eating while watching Chelsea who was still sleeping tightly.
"Hey dad. Hey Jaylie." Just a minute later James and Martha came into the room just before Chantelle came into the room. Chantelle hung an IV bag over Chelsea's bag and switched the needle in her arm. Every once in a while they would actually have to pull a needle out and put in a new one. You might think that Chelsea would have gotten used to the sticks by now- but she hadn't. And the whole while, while Chantelle put the needle in I held onto her hand while James hugged her tightly and Martha hummed on some lullaby that Gina had sung to her and James to calm them down.
"I like the way you've painted your nails." Chelsea said once it was all over. "It's really pretty." I didn't mind much about anyone's nails but still looked down to find them very long- much longer than what was allowed for the staff at a place like this of hygiene reasons. And painted in rainbow's colors. "Can you do that on my nails someday?"
"Oh, speaking about someday." Martha leaned closer and whispered into my ear. "Since today is Christmas Eve we have brought all the Christmas presents. They're still in the car. Can we put them in your office so Chelsea doesn't see them?" I nodded. "Okay, I'll go get them now." Martha walked out of the room and disappeared out of my sight and I gave Chantelle a meaning look and then looked to her nails to show her what I mean.
But, Christmas Eve or not. Chelsea would still sleep, although she seemed happier than she had been in a long time waking up as much as she ever did on Christmas day morning and seeing James with that big bag of presents. And she seemed even happier when James read the tags from the presents and almost all of them were for her.
I took over for a while when Chelsea wanted James to be there with her. Wow- there really wasn't any chance there were any better friends in the whole world than Chelsea and James… And only seeing them together I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest of happiness and pride.
"Here. And… This present is for…" I read from the sticker on the wrapping paper. "Oh, look here. Another one for Chelsea. Wow, you must have been really nice this year. You're getting more presents than all of us all together." I handed the latest present to Chelsea and just like with the ones before she fumbled a bit with the paper and James had to help her a bit before she could see the best- friends- necklaces Martha had found with Anna and Elsa from Frozen. James helped her to get the necklaces out from the store's wrapping and held them up.
"Who do you think should be honored to share the other half of your best- friends- heart Chels?" He asked her, Chelsea seemed too weak to speak but she lifted a finger and pointed. "Me? Oh, that would be an honor Angel. Do you want the half with Anna or the one with Elsa?" Chelsea had to breathe in as deeply as she possibly could to answer him.
"Elsa."
"Okay." James loosened the one with Elsa from the piece of carton it was put on. "Then I'll have the one with Anna. Here." James supported her back so she could sit up and Martha helped them both to put the necklaces on. "Do you want to come and sit for a bit?" James patted his knee and looked questioning at Chelsea who nodded. "Okay, come here."
I helped James to bend away the hoses and chords that was attached everywhere on Chelsea's tiny figure so he could get a good grip of her to lift her down from the bed and onto his lap. Chelsea leaned her head against James's shoulder but so looked up with a hand over her mouth.
"It's okay Chels. Dad. We need a basin." I had gotten it once I'd seen the expression in Chelsea's movement and handed it to Martha who sat closer than me. And she held the basin in front of Chelsea while James held her upright and rubbed her back, Jaylie held Chelsea's hair away from her face and Chelsea could do nothing else than let one dry heave after the other wrench her fragile body.
"It's okay. Okay. That's it." After what felt like forever it seemed she was finished throwing up and leaned closer to James's chest again. I was on my way to take the basin and throw it away. But Jaylie was quicker than me and was half done before I'd taken a single step. "Hey. Should we take a break from all of those presents and you can sleep for a bit?" Chelsea nodded. "Do you want to hear a story? Okay, maybe I can come up with one. About a miracle little girl who was very sick. But got just the right help on Christmas day. And I would call the story 'a Christmas miracle'"
"There are no miracles." It was a whimper, barely more than a whisper. But still it went right into my heart and shattered it into pieces. "And there's no use Jamey. I'll never get a heart in town so I'll just die." I closed my eyes, and almost wished that I could have closed my ears and my heart too. That's how badly it hurt.
I had lived in a- somewhat unrealistic thought that Chelsea didn't know how ill she was. That she thought it was normal to live in a hospital and having doctors and nurses coming into the room, talk with mumbled and quiet voices to each other. Forms forming worse and worse in their foreheads. But I should have known- I should have known she knew.
God, my angel!
I would have protected her from all of this, and all the other harm there was in the world if I could. She was my little angel and I would have thrown myself under a train if it would make her feel better. Or just take away the fear- because no matter how much Chelsea fought not to show it. I knew she was nothing else than a very strong little girl on the outside, while tiny, and terrified on the inside.
But so I glanced over my children- all of them.
It was in fact incredible how close I and Jaylie had gotten in the year I had known her, and even more incredible how I loved Chelsea so much I felt my heart breaking when she told James that she would die without help.
And I had never been prouder!
James, the one who had been in God knows how much trouble after his mum died had finally let go of his own high expectations himself and let himself only sit there holding Chelsea close doing actually absolutely nothing- yet still the most he could have ever done. Martha who had been so broken and hurt by not being as 'brilliant' as James, Gina and I (Her words, not mine) Seemed to have accepted who she really was, and was happy with that as long as she could make others happy.
I looked to Jaylie, and remembered the quiet little mouse somewhere in the outcast of her class. How she had sneaked her needles and medicines into her pockets, sneaked away to eat and all not to let anyone know that she was chronically ill. I remembered how scared she had been when we hadn't had any other choice than to find out and the relief when I told her as long as she took care of herself- it didn't interfere with her plans of becoming a doctor.
And the Jaylie standing in front of me, distressed looking down at Chelsea. She was tougher, more secure, took more place and not least- she didn't have any secrets… well as far as I knew about. And so last I looked down at Chelsea lying in James's arms with her head against his chest and his chin against her head.
Chelsea- God, my angel… Maybe all of ours' angel in not so long time if help didn't turn up in time…
I was woken up from my thoughts when a sharp beeping went through the room. I looked down on my own pager before I had realized the sound was further away from me than this one. Jaylie looked to hers too, but shook her head until James held up Chelsea's pager and it lit up-and that could only mean one thing!
"You see Chels?" Already, Martha was fixing with the hoses and chords to do what we all had planned in this case- Jaylie and Martha would help Chelsea shower and was with a special soap that was used before surgery. And I would run and check with the doctors and nurses that had paged us what was going on.
"Mo?" It seemed like Mo would be the one to do the surgery- not too surprising since she was the one of us best put into transplants. "Is it…" I was almost jumping where I stood with nervousity- God let this be a match! God let this be the right one for our angel!
"A family came in after a car crash just a while ago. Four of five were somewhat okay and will all be okay. Although one of them was so badly hurt there was nothing to do. He was about the same age and size as Chelsea." Something flashed by in Mo's eyes and I couldn't blame her- he must too have been very little and very young. "And we're just testing everything now to check so everything's a match. Will you go and get Chelsea?" I nodded and then ran as fast as I could back to Chelsea's room, helped the new staff put her on a new stretcher and pushed her towards the OR.
The waiting would be the worst part of it all, and if this turned out right then we would have to do a lot of it the closest few days. And I had already known before that I wouldn't get to be a part of the transplant since we weren't allowed to treat people we were closer to than to other patients that we didn't know.
"Mr. Hope." Jake the OR nurse came up to me suddenly in the waiting room. "And Miss Hope, Mr. Hope and Miss Cameron. I just wanted to tell you that we have done all the tests and it proves that everything we needed to match is a match. So they're starting the surgery in the OR now and sorry but I need to get back." Jake turned around again and hurried out of the waiting room while I hugged my children.
"Jaylie." Martha held out one arm. "You too. Don't you think you can get out of this." Jaylie hesitated, but when both I and James both signed at her to get closer too she joined the hug and for God knows how long we just stood like that with our arms around each other's shoulders silently.
"I love you all." I told them truthfully. "I love you all so much. More than anything else. And… I want you to know that whatever you're thinking then you can just come to me with it. Okay?" The others didn't answer while we all broke lose, and then waited. And waited, and waited.
And never have I ever experienced the time moving on so slowly.
"Mr. Hope." Chantelle came up to me and seemed kind of nervous just about half an hour later. "The family to the donor are here in the hospital. They and this… donor were brought in after a car crash earlier today and… The donor was the only one badly hurt and now…. They want to meet the family of the one who is getting his heart." My heart dropped and I slumped down on a chair.
We had all been so very happy that Chelsea was finally getting this new heart, worried that the surgery might not end up as well as we hoped for. There really hadn't been any time to think about and grief over this person we didn't even know that brave and kind heart had been given up for adoption. I looked back at the others and they seemed just about as helpless and in loss of words as I was.
"They really wanted to know where his heart went so… If I were you." Chantelle was talking slowly and kind of carefully. "I would give it a try." I looked back at the others and then nodded. "I'll show them in here." Chantelle looked around in the waiting room that was empty except for me, my children and Jaylie. "I think this will be better than some sterile hospital room." I nodded and sat down on the edge of the seat again. Feeling my heart beating hard and nauseas by nervousness until the door opened five minutes later and Chantelle showed a family into the waiting room.
I wasn't so sure what I had expected. Chantelle had mentioned the donor was a 'he' so maybe a woman and a children or two, telling us that the donor had been an adult man- but so wasn't the case. And the real case, it just broke my heart.
The people that came in was a couple- perhaps in their later thirties or early forties at the most. The man was quite tall, and stood with his arm around the shoulders of the woman who was a good bit shorter than him (still taller than me I could tell) and had short, blonde hair. After them also came a pair of twin girls holding each other's hands, both with long blonde hair in braids. The woman had her arm in a cast and a cut on her forehead had been stitched up, while the others had a few small cuts on their hands and faces.
But still it was when that woman's eyes met mine that I was stunned and froze for a moment. I had heard that the worst thing that could happen to a human being was for a mother to lose her child. But had always doubted it slightly. But looking into those eyes- and already knowing that there probably wasn't another option than her being the donor's mum. I didn't doubt it anymore- not a chance!
"Hello." The man started first while Jaylie, Martha and James got in a line by me. "My name is Carter Benson. And this is my wife, Cecilia. Those are our twin daughters. Chloe to the right and Claire to the left and the donor is… our son Charlie. Did you have a photo honey?" The woman nodded and pulled up a wallet from her pocket while I introduced myself and the others to not waste any more time than we had to.
"The one in there on the table is Chelsea James. And I'm in the works of becoming her foster dad. My name is Elliot Hope and these two are my children James and Martha and she…" I hesitated about Jaylie. "It's a long story. But her name is Jaylie Cameron. And we are… so, so sorry for your loss." Mr. Benson nodded slightly. And it didn't seem like he wanted to talk more about just that.
"Do you…"Mrs. Benson's voice sounded hoarse and broken as she looked up at me again. "Do you want to see a picture of the donor=" I hesitated, then nodded. "Here." She reached me a photo she had had folded in her purse and pushed away the handbag she had hanging on her shoulder. "That's my Charlie."
I put my glasses on and looked down on the photo that showed a boy, just around Chelsea's age, maybe a bit older. He was in the middle of some ballet pirouette with his arms lifted up in front of him, with one foot standing on the tip of his toes and the other leg lifted. He was dressed in jeans, a flower- patterned hoodie and black ballet- shoes whatever you call them. His short, brown hair was flying in the move and he had a very big smile formed on his lips.
"He's beautiful." I had to force myself to keep my voice steady and handed the photo to Martha for the others to see as well. "Again…. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Ehrm…" I scratched the back of my head and wondered about what to say next. "Do you… want to see a photo of the girl that is getting the heart?" Cecilia nodded and I looked to James who had a thing with taking photos more than what I did. He pulled up his phone and riffled a bit, and then showed them a photo with Chelsea sitting in that bed with her loom and loom bands and smiled to the camera.
"Was he a dancer?" Jaylie was the last one to see the photo of Charlie and Mrs. Benson nodded with tears having risen in her eyes. "That's a brave choice. I mean… Don't get me wrong. But to go with ballet instead of football or basketball or motocross or whatever it is that boys do nowadays." Mrs. Benson smiled and looked down on the photo with tears in her eyes.
"Some boys at school found out that he did ballet and teased him for it. And on some mummy's day at school I saw these boys doing it and I started walking over there. It was only that before I reached them Charlie stated 'Ballet built this body' and then just runs off. I had no idea why he decided to say just that but… He did and it worked. They were never on him again. Sorry I don't know why I just told you that."
"It's okay." Martha told them before I had the time. "Would you…" She sent me a death glare that just told me not to protest here. "I don't think we can be this many people in the room when Chelsea is sent out of surgery… But would you like to stay here until we get the news about how Chelsea's surgery went?"
How bad Martha had glared at me just two seconds ago didn't even matter- I wouldn't have had the heart to tell them no when Mrs. Benson nodded after looking to her family members and I turned to move the boxes we had put on the chairs right across of the hallway from where we sat and then everybody sat down again.
"I guess…" Jaylie started talking again after a few minutes of complete silence. "Everything we can do is to talk. To just sit like this will make the time go too slowly and there's still at least three to go. So unless it's too hard for you…" Mr. Benson shook his head and waved it off. "…Tell me more about Charlie… What was he like?"
"Can I call him danceable?" Claire… or was it Chloe asked. "I mean, he danced more than he walked. Everywhere he went he would be just dancing." The other Benson's nodded agreeing. "And he was…"
"Let me say something next." The other twin moaned, and the first one nodded. "He was very good at reading stories and make voices to the people and the animals in the stories. Even though he was younger than me he was a lot better in reading and he'd read me Harry Potter every night." They nodded again while the twin who was slightly smaller than the other looked to their dad.
"He was mad and crazy. Completely mad and crazy." Mr. Benson looked down on his wife and squeezed her hand. "I'm right here honey." Mrs. Benson nodded and took a deep breath before she could continue telling us about Charlie.
"He was happy, and kind. He had loads of energy. He seldom got angry or sad it was like a whirlwind- strong but done and over fast. He was polite, and caring. Helpful… He was my angel." She nodded slightly. "He was a mummy's little boy."
By the last word she said it was barely more than a whisper and for the first time I could see tears fast streaming from Mrs. Benson's eyes, down her cheek and to her chin from where they dropped down onto her Christmas shirt.
I was just in loss of what to do. There could be nothing I could either do or say that would bring Mrs. Benson her child back, and nothing I could either do or say to make her feel better. And nothing much happened at all actually.
"Hey, sch, sch, sch." Mr. Benson was doing his best to comfort his wife. But I could see he was heartbroken too, and more so when the way he was doing it didn't work.
"Don't you shush me Carter Benson." Mrs. Benson seemed mostly angry for a minute. "Don't you shush me. Don't you…" She couldn't keep on going as she completely broke down sobbing and buried her face in her husband's shirt while he was silently doing his best with rubbing her back and playing softly with her hair.
"Mrs. Benson." God knows how long later when Mrs. Benson had calmed down slightly James grabbed a pack of tissues that stood on a table and reached it to her.
"Oh… I can't believe I'm thinking about it now but. Please just call me Celia. God- that's everything anyone has called me since… forever!" Mrs. Ben… Celia dried the tears and sighed. "So, have you got anything else to say about your brother girls?" Celia turned to look at Chloe and Claire and the smaller one laid her head a bit to the side before she spoke.
"He used to always sing. He didn't sing well but he still sang all the time. It was kind of annoying,"
"When we were at the cinema and had popcorn he'd always eat all of everybody's before the movie even started." The other one continued. "That was really annoying."
"He used to talk all the time. And he never wanted to go to bed in the evening. Especially when he was a baby and screamed all through the nights that could be really annoying." Mr. Benson continued. "And he always made sure everybody kept calling me Mr. Benson even though he always knew I preferred first name."
"He used to hug me so hard I could barely breathe." Celia continued last. "And whenever he was ill or hurt he would moan and cry out for me and not so much as let me take a freaking shower. Also, I wasn't exactly over the moon when I found out I was one month months pregnant when I already had two four months old girls in the house, and we had some long discussions about what we should name him. Colin, Casey, Cory, Cody, Coby, Cole. Every boys' name or unisex name that starts with a C and we considered it. At that moment everything was so messed up I wasn't so sure I wanted another kid and he scared me half to death when he was premature born… But I wouldn't have traded him for the world… And now I would do anything to have him back here to do all those things that were just so annoying."
The rest of the Benson's nodded agreeing while Celia turned to me. "Promise me one thing though. Make sure that if your Chelsea pulls through this surgery and lives. That she lives the life to the fullest, and never ever put work or homework or anything like that in front of just… playing and fooling around. Homework can be done later, maybe not for you because you're a doctor but… Just make sure you make the most out of each moment you get with her and don't ever take anything for granted." I nodded.
"I promise."
"Charlie was… obsessed with Fanta and with these Haribo candies that looks like fried eggs." Cecilia struggled slightly to get a Christmas present out of her bag with one hand but it went a bit easier when Carter held onto the bag to keep it from moving. "But he kept on running out of them so I got him this with loads of it so he would have for a while. But… Now I guess he'll never get it anyway. Can you get the paper off it, honey?" She reached the present to one of her daughters and she nodded and ripped the papers of to reveal a carton filled with bags of those candies and Fanta- cans. "So. Everybody grab each bag of candy and each can of Fanta.
I glared at Jaylie. She was not having a whole bag of candy, at least not all at once and along with all the sugar there was in one can of Fanta and she knew it. Jaylie just rolled her eyes at me but we two ended up sharing one bag of those candies- still getting our own cans of drinks. And then Cecilia raised her can in a toast.
"To Charlie. My little angel." We others raised our cans and as of a miracle nobody's voice was shaking as we said the same thing all at once.
"To Charlie."
Charlie is portrayed by Griffin Gluck. Parents Carter and Cecilia by Noah Wyle and Romy Rosemont. And then twins Claire and Chloe by Nelly and Gwen Currant. Chelsea is portrayed by (younger) Gracie Whitton and Jaylie by Britt Robertson. You can find polyvore's made for Chelsea, Jaylie and Charlie with pictures of his family members if you press the link on my profile with 'edits for other stories'