A/N: Hello folks. Thanks for the reviews, nice to know people are interested. 'Fraid you'll have to wait for a while to find out what the Doctor needs to tell her but here's Chapter three with added 'poor Doctor' (there's probably gona be a lot of that). so folks, all that's left to say id the usual. I own nothing to do with Doctor who and will make no money from this story. I only own Cathy, who's been and gone!

Chapter 3

"Will you stop fidgeting?" Rose slapped at his hands as he loosened then tightened his tie for what seemed like the millionth time.

"I can't help it."

"Why are you so nervous? It's only my parents and Mickey. You've spent Christmas with them before."

"Not with your dad."

"You're not scared of my dad are you? He's a softie."

"No, you're right. It's your mum that terrifies me. Do I need to put extra layers on do you think? You know, extra padding for when she hits me!"

Rose couldn't help but laugh. "Wuss. You've faced all kinds of aliens and risked your life for the planet and the universe and yet you're still scared of my mum." She watched as he pulled on his ear instead of his tie.

"Maybe I shouldn't wear a tie. I mean it might look li….." Rose cut him off by planting a powerful kiss on his lips. She felt him relax as he returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly against him. "No, no, no, no, no. Must. Stop." He said between kisses.

"But it's Christmas." Rose pouted, trying not to smile.

"Yes, Christmas, a time to be with family."

"Well flick that switch and let's get going."

"I'll get us back just after you left." The Doctor grinned as the TARDIS roared into life.

"God I've missed that sound." Rose yelled to the ceiling. "I've missed everything about this lovely blue box!" She spun in a circle, her arms stretched out from her sides.

"Don't get too dizzy, there are a lot of corners on this ship."

"You know," she stopped her twirling and moved to his side. "I used to hear this noise in my sleep. It kinda haunted me."

He gave a sad smile and kissed the top of her head. "Right. Time to face the music."

XxXxX

"Rose, where are you? When you get this message phone me." Jackie left the umpteenth message on her daughters mobile.

"She's not going to get your message." Mickey told her appearing in the living room door way, holding up Rose's mobile. "It was on her bed."

"She'll be ok Jacks; maybe she went for a walk." Pete tried to sooth his wife but even he knew his excuse didn't hold much water. It was four in the morning and they'd been home since eleven.

XxXxX

"Doctor! We're in the wrong road."

"Well, I guess they wont have any warning of our approach." He smiled, shrugging into his coat.

"And it's four in the morning. So much for getting us back just after we left. I've been gone hours!"

"Not as long as you've really been. We could've had Christmas twice over by now." Grinning at Rose he held a coat out for her. "Wrap up its cold outside."

"Prefer you to wrap me up."

"Mmm, so would I but I think that snow would give us frost bite in some very unusual places which wouldn't be comfortable. Maybe on the way back." He told her with a wink. "Come on, it's only round the corner."

"Did you really land here on purpose? So they wouldn't hear us coming?"

"Too right. Don't want to give you're mum any advanced warning, god knows how big a frying pan she'd hit me with."

"She won't hit you!" Rose told him exasperatedly. "Why are you so sure she will?"

"I took you all across the galaxy, you almost left her in another universe while you stayed with me and then… I made you cry."

"Oh. Yeah. She might be a little annoyed, but she won't hit you." Linking arms the pair stepped out into the snow.

XxXxX

"Damn. I haven't got my key! See this is what happens when you get someone to kidnap me."

"Lights are on." The Doctor nodded to the front window.

"Maybe they realised I was gone." She shrugged. "Ready?" she looked up at the man beside her and squeezed his hand.

"I'm a coward aren't I?"

"No!"

"It's all right you can tell me. I already know I am." He took a deep breath. "Ready. I think."

Rose pushed the door bell. Almost instantly she heard a commotion from inside and the Doctor ducked into the shadows.

"Get back here!" she hissed.

"Rose!" Jackie threw her arms around her daughter. "Where the hell have you been?!"

"Long story. Um, mum please don't freak out."

"Oh god what is it? What happened?" Panic filtered through Jackie's voice as her husband and Mickey joined her side.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just there'll be one more for Christmas if that's ok?"

"Oh Rose not another lost soul. It's Christmas, I don't want stranger roaming round the house."

"It's not a stranger. Strange maybe but not a stranger."

"Hey I object. Next to your mum I'm perfectly normal!" The Doctor stepped into view.

"You! What? But how? Why?" Jackie babbled.

"Is that really you? As in like you you or are you another you?" Mickey asked.

"Really me as in me me."

"Look can we all get inside, it's a complicated story and I'm freezing." Rose complained.

Jackie, Mickey and Pete eyed the Doctor suspiciously as they all traipsed inside.

"Nice. I see you redecorated after our encounter." He said with a shudder, remembering the sight if the Cybermen spreading through the house, rounding everyone up like sheep.

"I'm going to make some tea. Then I want to know what's going on." Jackie said, heading to the kitchen.

Returning to the living room she found them all watching the television in silence. She smiled at the scene; it looked like a proper Christmas. Pete and Mickey were laughing at the film that was playing. She'd seen it many times before but could never remember the title; it was one of those films that were always on at sometime during the Christmas season. Rose was sat with her feet curled under her, leaning into the Doctor's side as his arm draped the back of the sofa. Jackie studied the Doctor's face in the dim light. If this was indeed Rose's Doctor, he'd aged in the last year. His normally youthful face looked tired and drawn.

"So," Jackie sat herself next to her husband. "Full story please." She looked expectantly at her daughter.

XxXxX

Pete and Mickey went up to bed as Rose finished the story, too tired to hear any more, leaving Rose, Jackie and the Doctor to their tales.

"Well I hope you still like Christmas turkey Doctor." Jackie said finally, looking over at her daughter's friend. She called his name again when he didn't reply.

Looking up at him Rose chuckled softly. "He does sleep." She whispered, giving the side of his face a quick stroke before gently removing his glasses.

"Well he can't stay there; he'll get an awful crick in his neck." Jackie whispered.

"Any suggestions? I'm not carrying him; he's over six foot tall. Get a blanket. I'll get him to move, maybe."

Jackie nodded and padded off, stifling a yawn.

"Doctor?" Rose whispered in his ear. "Doctor you can't sleep like that. You'll regret it in the morning."

He stirred slightly before his eyes snapped wide open. He looked round frantically then relaxed when his eyes focussed on Rose. "For a second there I thought you were gone." He wrapped his arms round her, reassuring himself she was really there.

"I'm still here. You were sleeping."

"I was?"

"Yeah. You look cute when you're asleep. Mum's gone to get a blanket for you."

"Right." He rubbed his face, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Just lay down and close you're eyes."

"Where are you going to be?"

"Right here. I'm not letting you out of my sight." She smiled as her mum came back into the room.

"I brought one down for you too, figured you'd want to stay close. Now get some sleep. I'm going to need all hands on deck with this Christmas dinner. The family grows bigger every year!" She turned to leave but stopped in the doorway before going over to the Doctor's side. She saw a flash of uncertainty and fear cross his face. "It's good to see you Doctor." Jackie leant down and kissed his forehead, then smacked him across the top of his head.

"Ow!"

"That's for making my Rose cry for the last year!"

XxXxX

Rose curled up watching the Doctor, a lamp in the corner casting shadows across his face. His eyelashes like dark slashes under his eyes.

"You're staring." His voice cut through her thoughts.

"No, I'm not. I'm watching. It's entirely different." She smiled to herself.

"Why are you 'watching'?" he asked, never moving from his comfortable position, keeping his tired eyes shut.

"Not used to you sleeping I guess." She hesitated before she got up and crossed over to him. She leant down and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "G'night." She whispered.

Reaching out the Doctor took hold of her hand as she turned to go back to her chair. She turned back to see him looking right at her. Even in the limited light she could see how tired he was. "You need to sleep." She told him.

"So keep me warm." He replied, tugging at her gently.

She smiled at him broadly. "Shift over then."

Rose clambered onto the sofa beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. The Doctor curled his arms around her, holding her close and gave a contented sigh.

XxXxX

Rose padded into the kitchen and found her dad checking the turkey. It was already nearing midday and she could hear the rest of the house stirring. They'd never slept in so late on Christmas before.

"Merry Christmas." Pete greeted, enveloping her in a hug.

"Merry Christmas," She grinned.

"That's the first time I've seen you really smile in a long time."

"Yeah well…."

"You sleep alright?"

"Sort of. I kept waking up expecting him to be gone. That he was never here."

"I take it he was still here when you woke up?" The corner of Pete's mouth twitched, trying not to smile. He'd looked in on them as he made his way to the kitchen. "I'd hazard a guess that none of your presents could top him being here."

"Probably not. Even the pony I wanted when I was little." She laughed. It felt good to laugh without the empty feeling returning moments later.

Their laughter was split by a gut wrenching scream as the Doctor yelled her name.

XxXxX

He looped the chain around Rose's neck and watched as she disappeared with her mother and father, Mickey and Jake. Back to the other side, where it was safe. He was alone again. He'd dreaded that moment from the moment he realised he loved her. He knew the time would come when their partnership wouldn't survive and this was it. He turned to the computer and started when he heard her voice.

"I think this is the 'on' switch…"

He grabbed her by the shoulders, looking straight into her eyes. "Once that breach collapses, that's it. You will never be able to see her again. Your own mother!" He was almost shouting at her, trying to make her see sense.

"I made my choice a long time ago and I'm never gonna leave you."

He stared at her for a moment completely stunned before releasing his grip.

"So what can I do to help?" Staring at him stubbornly waiting, hoping he'd give in.

"Those co-ordinates over there, set them all at six. And hurry up."

Rose moved over to the computer, trying to ignore the anger that she heard in his voice.

Her eyes flicked nervously between the Doctor and the monitor. "We've got Cybermen on the way up."

"How many floors down?"

"Just one."

The Doctor began tapping furiously at the computer entering the last command and the levers finally became operational, causing the Doctor to grin.

"That's more like it, bit of a smile! The old team!" Rose said feeling easier.

He grabbed the magnaclamp and crossed to her. "Hope and Glory, Mutt and Jeff, Shiver and Shake!"

"Which one's Shiver?"

"Oh I'm Shake!" he told her handing her a clamp. She followed his lead by holding it up against the wall. "Press the red button. When it starts, just hold on tight. It shouldn't be too bad for us but the Daleks and the Cybermen are steeped in void stuff. Are you ready?"

They pushed the levers up then grabbed hold of the clamps struggling to stay on the ground as the void opened.

"The breach is open. Into the void! Ha!"

But something went wrong, there was a small explosion and the lever on Rose's side shifted back to the 'off' position.

Rose struggled to reach it before managing to get it back into the 'on' position. Only problem was she only had the lever to hold on to.

"Rose, hold on!" the Doctor shouted in desperation. "Hold on!" his voice turning into a scream.

He watched almost in slow motion as Rose lost her grip on the lever and got sucked towards the void. "ROSE!" he screamed again. Suddenly Pete appeared taking Rose to the safety of his universe. Rose managed a quick glance over her shoulder at him and then she was gone.

He stared at the spot from where they had disappeared until the void closed. The wind died down and the room fell silent. Breathing heavily the Doctor walked up to the wall and laid his palm against it and rested his head there, feeling empty. He could almost feel her on the other side of the wall, as if he could just punch a hole in it and she'd be there. He stayed there for a while. They'd won. The Cybermen and the Daleks were gone, no longer a threat to either world but it was a hollow victory. He'd lost the one person that made his miserable, lonely existence bearable. Finally he let his hand slide down the wall in defeat, turned and walked away, feeling completely destroyed.

It took him months to find a tiny gap between the worlds that he could use to be able to say a goodbye, of sorts.

There they stood on a beach, unable to touch each other. He so desperately wanted to reach out and hug her.

He barely knew what they were talking about. He knew he only had this one chance to tell her. She looked so lost on the beach, tears streaming down her face. His beautiful, brave, fantastic Rose and he'd never see her again.

He felt proud when she said she was working for Torchwood. Using everything she'd learnt with him to defend the earth.

"Here you are. Living life day after day. The one adventure I can never have."

"Am I ever going see you again?" Rose sobbed.

"You can't" His hearts were breaking, he hated seeing her in so much pain and knowing that he really would never see his Rose again.

"What are you gona do?"

"Oh I've got the TARDIS. Same old life. Last of the Time Lords."

"On your own?" Her face crumbled again. "I love you."

He gazed at her as another sob escaped, all the love and devotion he felt plain to see.

"Quite right too. And I suppose….if it's one last chance to say it…." He paused, his eyes locked with hers. "Rose Tyler…"

And then she was gone. He was alone in the TARDIS, his eyes filling with tears, his lips poised to say the words he wanted her to hear but never got to say. His tears spilled onto his cheeks and he swallowed hard, closing his eyes as his hearts broke.

XxXxX

Bursting into the room they found it empty except for the Doctor who was still asleep on the sofa. But he wasn't sleeping soundly; he was calling her name over and over in a fearful, pained voice. Sweat was beading on his face as his body shuddered and thrashed as if fighting against something.

"Doctor?" Rose knelt on the floor beside him, stroking the hair from his forehead, softly calling his name. She was almost thrown backwards as he bolted upright.

He'd expected to be in the TARDIS, that was where he always woke up when he had that nightmare, but he wasn't. It took him a moment to get anything in focus, he was vaguely aware there were people in the room but his mind was still reeling. Closing his eyes tightly, he shook his head and felt around for his glasses but found something soft instead that closed round his hand. He almost didn't dare look up.

"Rose?" a look of relief smoothed his face as he scooped her up in his arms, holding her so tightly he could hardly breathe. "Thank God."

"Ssshh, it was just a dream. It's ok now. What happened?"

He shook his head, unable to vocalise his dreams. They were still too real for his liking.

Rose pulled back and cupped his face in her hands. "It's over now, I'm right here."

"What on earth is going on?!" Jackie yelled from the stairs as she rushed to find out what all the noise was.

"Sorry Jackie. Thought I saw…a …. Rat. That's all, turns out it wasn't a rat. Just a figment of my er… imagination." The Doctor stumbled through his words, his eyes flicking between Rose and her father pleading with them not to say anything.

"God, you'd think someone was being murdered the way you were carrying on!" She turned in the direction of the kitchen.

"Not far off." He murmured looking at Rose.

XxXxX

The Doctor wiped the steam from his shower off the mirror and stared at his reflection. Watching the water drip from his fringe onto his cheek he wiped at it as furiously as he did his tears. He stared for a while longer, looking at his burns. They were far less red and raw than they had been when Cathy had found him. Pulling his trousers on he frowned at how crumpled his shirt was.

"Should've brought a spare from the TARDIS." He sighed, rubbing his hair with the towel.

"How bout this one?" Rose's voice drifted in from the doorway.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know that shirt is a disgrace. Here, dad thought you might like a clean one." She held out a pale blue shirt and smiled.

"You're family are fantastic." He grinned.

"Yeah they are." She slipped through the door closing it behind her. "So…you gona tell me what your dream was about?" She watched as his fingers stilled on the buttons, his face losing all humour as he looked up at her.

"Doesn't matter."

"Doesn't it?"

"No." His voice was stern and his eyes were hard as steel.

"Right. Well I guess this is another moment we can put in the 'Doctor was wrong file'. Whatever it is terrifies you, I saw it in your face. You're never terrified. You get nervous but never terrified and if you're terrified then what hope do the rest of us have?"

"No one else has to worry about it." His face softened and the corner of his mouth twitched, attempting a smile.

"Why? Because you do it all alone now? I'm not gona let you. You found me, now you're stuck with me!"

"Rose…"

"No I mean it. I'm not letting you leave without me!"

"Rose! I'm not going anywhere without you if you don't want me to. No one else has to worry because nothings coming. They're my demons in my head. They've already been. They're just dreams." He soothed.

Rose looked at him for a moment. "but… you were so scared. You were almost in tears."

"Not the first time, wont be the last either I shouldn't wonder." His tone was brushing the subject away as he reached past her to unhook his jacket and tie from the door.

"Then tell me. I'm not sharing a room with a screamer. Well not one who screams in his sleep anyway."

"Rose, leave it alone." His voice was almost a growl.

"You don't scare me Doctor." She grabbed his coat to get his full attention, closing the gap between them. "What are your nightmares about?"

"You." He said finally, his wet fringe falling into his eyes again.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you." He raked his fingers through his hair, stepping back from her.

"Oh. When you say me…."

"You, Torchwood, the sphere, the Cybermen, the Daleks, that stupid beach, the whole bloody lot."

"Bad Wolf Bay." She whispered to herself.

"It all happens over and over and over again in my head and I can't stop it." He was almost shouting now. "No matter what I do, what hideous things I see that's what I have nightmares about. That and the Time War. In fact one generally leads into the other." He told her incredulously, wiping a hand across his face. Looking back at Rose he winced at the hurt on her face. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For upsetting you. For telling you."

"I asked for it. I'm glad you finally told me."

"Are you?"

As if to answer his question, Rose dropped his jacket, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him thoroughly, leaving him utterly breathless.

"I'll take that as a yes then." he grinned, panting.

"Come on, they'll be wondering where we are."

"Just as well they're not suspicious types then isn't it?"

"Worried they'd walk in on you corrupting Jackie Tyler's only daughter?"

"Me corrupting you? I went for centuries without…well…you know what I'm getting at." He flustered.

"It's sooo easy to wind you up!"

XxXxX

A/N: that's chapter three. guys and gals. well i suspect more gal's than guys. and for those of you wanting to know what the Doctor has to tell her, you may find out next time; or will you?!

Keep reviewing, love to hear from you all.

"catch ya on the flip flop"