It was Friday night and I was having trouble pouring coffee into the coffee cups at work. My hands were shaking and I knew just why, Jacob was spending the weekend. It wasn't the first time, it wouldn't be the last but I was afraid my emotions would take over and we would end up in an argument. I had pretty much pin-pointed that I was in love with Jacob, so much so that losing him would end me. When he touched me it made me realize how much I loved him and my mind wandered to losing him and everything we had. I was still very much afraid for his safety when he phased and knew that he could withstand a lot of things but could he escape his own death? I shook my head and finished pouring the decaf and handed it to the customer.

"Sorry about that, nerves."

She smiled up at me, "That's quite alright dear, my nerves are shot too. But you are young yet!"

Her eyes crinkled when she smiled, wrinkles got longer but her eyes held her soul.

"Long day, that's all. Enjoy your coffee and have a good weekend."

As I clocked out I sighed in relief, two days of no work was just what I needed. I really looked forward to my weekends and even more so Jake. Billy was aware that I now lived on my own and surprisingly had no problem with it, he'd even said "It was bound to happen". He gave us 'the talk' once more and made us promise not to have sex, though he didn't know it but that was so far off of my mind.

"Hello Beautiful!" I jumped at the noise in the darkness.

"Hello Jake. Where are you?" I glanced around in the darkness and saw him no where.

"Follow my voice."

"Are you being creepy again?" I laughed, but stepped towards the darkness behind the building.

"Come to me Bella."

I froze and stepped backwards towards the diner door, hand on the handle. Something UN-nerved me and I didn't like it. "Jake, I don't want to come back there. Just come out so I can see you, please?"

"Are you...scared?" I opened the door and stepped inside, Jacob wouldn't scare me intentionally.

"Go away." I locked the door and flipped open my phone and dialed Jake.

"Hello?"

"Please tell me you are being a dick right now outside the diner!" I squealed.

"What's going on?"

"Jake get here, fast! Be careful!"

He'd already hung up and I sat down at a table to wait.

"You okay Bella?" My boss asked.

"Oh, yeah I'm just waiting on Jake is all."

"Did your truck break down?"

"No, there's someone outside talking to me and I thought it was Jake but it wasn't. I'm waiting for him to show up so I'm not outside alone."

"Oh heavens. You want me to call your dad?"

"No. I'll be fine."

A few minutes later Jake walked in the door and sat down next to me, "Let's head home." He gave me a look that said we would talk in the car.

In the truck Jake cleared his throat, "When I got here some guy was behind the building smoking a doobie, I asked him if he was taunting you and he said 'yea what's it to ya'. He said his name was Adam, he knew you from High School and he was just messing around."

I shook my head, "I guess even simple things like this won't ever just be that. Everything has to rush my mind to vampires who want me dead. I really screwed up." I never should have gotten involved with the vampires or Edward, my life would be so easy and care-free.

Jake looked at me and I heard him sigh, "Why are you sighing?" I asked.

"Because sometimes I'm tired of hearing you talk about him, even if he was just a big regret. It's like I'm living in his shadow and it's not fun Bella."

"Well geeze."

"Put the shoe on the other foot, how would you like it if I kept talking about my ex who ruined my life constantly to you? Our relationship is no where near perfect, you cry every time I touch you and tell me everything is okay but you lie to me. I've let it slide but everything is not OK! I just wish you'd focus more on that than what went wrong."

He had a point, I had been focusing on the negatives more than the positives and we had plenty of them. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. I just wish you'd talk to me. These past few months I've honestly felt like we are on a downward spiral to ending and I can't shake it."

"I'm just not sure how to anymore."

"Did something I do or say make you think you couldn't?" He asked, I was starting to feel tears stinging my eyes and forced them down.

"No. I just...I can't find the words to express myself much anymore. I get overcome with emotions instead, it's something I've been working on but obviously not doing a very good job at it."

"Try to tell me, in your own words, why you cry when I touch you. I'm not upset, just worried something is wrong and if it is we can fix it."

His ambition made me smile, "Jake, nothing's wrong I swear to you. I just..." I let out a big sigh and was going to attempt this. "I worry about you not being there one day." Tears fell immediately down my face as the words left my mouth, "My every day revolves around talking to you, seeing you or thinking about you. What if one day it's just not there and it scares me. It could be beyond your control like you getting killed by a hunter or attacked by something. Or it could be controlled, you just losing interest or finding someone you like more. But the thought of having to start over from the beginning all over again scares me. We threw our friendship against the wind and hoped it wouldn't unravel but if we break up, what friendship would we have left?" I wiped at my tears which were still falling and wished I was curled up in bed on the phone with him rather than facing him.

"That honestly isn't just your concern."

I was confused, "What?" I was just 100% honest with him and he's calling me a liar?

"Because I think about that too with you and something happening. I'm a guy so I control my emotions but I definitely worry about that too, it's normal."

I should feel relieved, but I didn't only upset. "Nothing can fix it though, so how am I supposed to get over it?"

"You don't." He actually began to laugh. "If you get over it that means you no longer care and we have bigger problems."

"Valid point."

"I think with you moving out and us kind of scheduling in our time between work and school it made everything a little more real is all. I don't think there is anything un-natural about how we feel."

"I have this anxiety that I'm turning into a girl Jake, help me." I cracked a tiny smile but honestly did mean it, I hated feeling so girly and emotional.

"Bella, you are a girl. It's actually one of the biggest reasons why I love you." He reached over the truck and squeezed my thigh. "That and you are a good kisser and have a nice ass. But I'm not picky."

I laughed and felt the tension leave the truck, "You wouldn't mind a more emotional and sensitive Bella?"

"I mean, I love the tough as nails Bella who keeps me on my toes. But...a similar version of her that likes to cuddle, talk about her feelings and be romantic? I'll take her too. We all change Bells, it won't make me love you any less than I have for years."

"Jake...When did you first start to realize you loved me?" I hated to ask but I was also curious to know the answer.

"When we were younger I knew I loved you, we had a special bond that I knew wouldn't be replaced with anyone else. But when you moved back and I saw you outside your Dad's house when we came to see you with the fish dinner I knew it was love."

"Why?"

"Really it was just an over-whelming feeling that took over inside of me that told me I wanted to be your friend and I wanted to be around you. It was laced with wanting to hold you and pull your hair from your eyes and kiss you. I wanted to hug you and get to know your every thought and desire and hear what you'd been up to since you had left me all those years ago."

"Do you ever regret losing touch?" We'd written each other for a year or so, but once I made a friend or two and got involved in dance we lost touch and grown apart.

"Yeah, I wonder 'what if' all the time. But it all worked out I think."

"Yeah."

Maybe this weekend wouldn't be so bad after-all...