Chapter Three: Detente

Mitch pressed an icepack to Caroline's temple, concern written in his almond shaped eyes.

"You're lucky I left my notes in here! Who knows how long you would have been lying on the ground with a gash in your head. Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?"

Caroline brushed his hand away to hold the ice herself. She could feel the butterfly bandage on her forehead, where he had patched up where she had smashed her head on the desk.

"I'm fine, Mitch, I promise."

Those lies, little apricot…

Caroline's eyes darted around the room before glancing at Mitch. Could he hear that? Surely, he had heard that. But Mitch was learning against the corner of her desk, watching her with worry. If he noticed her nervous disposition, he didn't say anything.

"Maybe you should take the rest of the day off…"

Maybe you should take the rest of the day off, Loki mocked in a high pitched voice that was more to prove his malice than actually imitate.

Caroline gave him a pained smile, trying to ignore the voice in her head.

"That's probably a good idea. Today has been...weird."

She stood and the room swam precariously. Mitch put his hand out to steady her, but Caroline waved him away again.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

Do you want me to walk you home, Loki's mocking voice rang out in her head again.

"Knock it off!" She snapped.

Mitch stared at her, mouth hanging open. It wasn't like her to be rude. Caroline blushed, embarrassed at her outburst and even more embarrassed that he thought she was talking to him. Frantically she gathered her bag.

"I'm sorry…I have to…I have to go," she stammered, running out of the door and down the hall.

The run to her apartment was a blur, the usually vibrant neighborhood melting away as she hurried up the streets, hardly looking where she was going. It was a miracle a car didn't hit her, for all she was paying attention. It wasn't until she had safely slammed her front door shut that she was aware of herself again.

"I'm going mad," she gasped, clutching her satchel to her chest.

Certainly not. You're as sound as ever.

Caroline bolted into the bathroom and promptly hurled into the sink, not quite making it to the toilet. After she was done gagging and spitting up her lunch, she closed her eyes, bracing herself to look in the mirror. If Loki was there, then seeing him in the poster's reflection wasn't just a figment of her imagination. Knuckles gripping the sink so tight they were white, she raised her face and opened her eyes. Sure enough, next to her familiar, if slightly wane face was Loki. In the mirror he stood next to her, wearing an elaborate leather outfit she had never seen before. His long black hair was brushed back and he wore a look somewhere between bemusement and contempt. She turned to look next to her, but saw only empty air.

Looking back in the mirror, Loki was still very much standing next to her.

"How is this possible?" She asked, voice shaky.

Why don't you clean that up, then we'll talk, in the mirror his lips moved, though the sound came from inside her own skull.

Caroline glanced down at the sink and wrinkled her nose. Stooping, she pulled her cleaning supplies from underneath the vanity. She devoted herself wholeheartedly to the task, trying her best to block out the strange man who might or might not be standing next to her. Once she was finished, and her sink gleamed spotless, she took out the garbage all the way to the dumpsters at the back of the building. She focused on each step she took, each movement and breathe. Anything to keep from thinking about what was going on.

Once finished with cleaning and was back in the apartment, Caroline headed to her freezer .She pulled out her pint of red velvet ice-cream. If any situation called for ice-cream, this was it.

"So I'm not crazy?" she asked out loud to the empty apartment.

Of course not. Well, no more than most humans are, anyway. You simply happen to have a Norse god temporarily residing in your consciousness. Loki answered as if it were the most obviously thing in the world.

"I don't remember giving you permission to take up residence in my brain," she snapped before taking a spoonful of ice-cream into her mouth.

I was in a…delicate situation. You were the closest, most familiar thing I could fixate on.

She bristled a little at being referred to as a thing. It sounded like he wasn't telling her the entire truth, Caroline though as she ate another spoonful of ice-cream, the delicious better-than-chocolate taste running down her throat.

How perceptive of you, little apricot. Loki sneered. You don't need to know the entire truth.

Caroline blinked. "Of course you can hear my thoughts. How stupid of me to think otherwise." She took another bite. "And yes, I think I do need to know the entire truth. If you haven't noticed, you're in my body."

Her outburst was met with silence for a long moment, and she wondered if her delusions had finally come to an end. Before she could take another scoop of ice-cream, an image flashed before her eyes. Two young boys, one blond, the other raven-haired. An old man was speaking to them, but his words were far away for Caroline, like he was talking through water. Another image: the boys all grown up and fighting in a frozen wasteland. The noise was closer now, crisper. Loki's arm turning blue instead of burnt black by frost. She knew that was the wrong thing to happen, though she couldn't say how she knew. A frozen cube of winter. Rage, bright and burning.

The images flashed faster and faster and Caroline stopped comprehending each as a thing of its own; rather she began to see them all at once, a story of pain, betrayal and rage. She began to understand the deeper meaning behind each, as if she had experienced them all herself.

A bridge made out of a living rainbow, shattered. Darkness visible. Eternal night. The void. Faster and faster they came. Pain beyond description. A different blue cube, so lovely Caroline's heart ached for it. It promised her everything she'd every wanted, to unlock all the secrets of the past. A city, her city, in ruins. Defeat. A glass cage. A frail looking thing with eyes like the Gatekeeper's.

Give up, Lie-Smith.

The voice filled Caroline with such dread she thought she would be sick again. Terror beyond anything she had ever imagined chilled her bones and made her blood run sluggish. That was the voice of death itself.

A sudden wrenching in her head and the images stopped.

Caroline came back to herself; she had head down on the kitchen table. Her ice-cream carton had tipped over, a pinkish puddle slowly spreading across the wood. She was sobbing, great wracking sobs that made her body ach and her face hurt. Snot ran out of her nose onto her lips. She shuffled, trying to wish it away. She felt raw and hallowed out.

She wasn't made to feel what he felt.

So you see, it was either tie myself to you, or hand myself over to something you can't begin to imagine. When he spoke, his voice was somehow softer than before, perhaps more gentle, though it still rang with self-righteousness.

She didn't know if she could forgive him.

Standing, she methodically cleaned the ice-cream from the table as she tried to sort through her emotions, and differentiate what she was feeling from what he was and had been feeling.

Caroline put the spoon in the sink and splashed cold water onto her face, trying to erase the snot and tears. She knew her cheeks and eyes were red, probably puffy too. She took a deep breath, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. When she spoke, she did so in calm, measured tones, though she was sure he could taste the fury lying underneath.

"I'm very upset with what you've done to me." She could feel him trying to speak up, but she kept going, refusing him a voice until she'd had her say. "You have invaded my mind without permission, wedged yourself into a place that no other person is meant to be besides me. I feel violated. Tell me what to do so I can get you out of me."

A bitter taste entered her mouth, sour and sad. Regret. Why should she feel regret? After a moment, she realize he felt regret.

I need to go back to where I was kept…where I was taken. If there is a lead to be found, it will be there.

Caroline cocked her head to the side and frowned. "Let me get this straight, you want me to break into SHIELD and poke around in what is probably the most well guarded crime-scene in the entire universe?"

Well yes.

"Just how in the ever-loving hell am I going to do that?" She snapped, flinging herself back down at the kitchen table.

It's simple. He started, the condescension in his voice apparent. Go to SHIELD, tell them you left some of your belongings yesterday. The acolytes at the desk have no idea what you've been doing or what has happened to me. They'll let you through. My magic can access the locked doors.

He certainly sounded pleased with himself, Caroline reflected. But magic? It all sounded so…crazy. Despite the day's events, for her magic was for myths and legends, and Harry Potter, not everyday life. But if it would get him out of her head, it was worth a shot. Still, she needed to be sure it would work.

"How can you do magic without a body?" She asked skeptically.

Loki harrumphed inside her mind. Magic isn't predicated on a body, little apricot. It is a power of the mind. I still have my mind, if you hadn't noticed.

"Still, can't you try something small now, so I'm not totally screwed when it doesn't work at SHIELD?"

Caroline paused, waiting for his snappy reply; she was sure she didn't like her assumption that he was wrong.

Waiting, she picked at a spot of dirt on the table, trying to scrape it up with the back of her nail. When she looked up, she jumped. Seated across the table from her, as if he had been there the entire time, was Loki. He had his hands folded in front of him and was regarding her with a cool gaze.

"Holy shit," Caroline murmured.

Involuntarily, she reached a hand out to him. Her fingertips met soft leather, and underneath hard muscle. She looked up at him, a flush running across her cheek, and quickly dropped her hand.

"Holy shit."

"Well, that's odd," Loki mused, watching her.

Caroline shook her head, trying to refocus on the conversation and not on the fact that the Norse god of mischief was both residing in her brain and sitting at her kitchen table. He was right there. Not in a mirror, not a non-corporeal voice inside her head. Flesh and blood.

"What's odd?" She finally asked.

The right side of his mouth quirked up in a half smile. "This," he motioned to his body with his hands, "is just a projection. You should not be able to touch it. In fact, I should have dissolved the moment you did."

"So why didn't it?" she asked, trying not to stare at him too much.

He frowned. "I do not know. Perhaps it is because for all intents and purposes you are my body at present. The conduit through which my will and magic flow."

"So you do need a body to do magic," she pointed out.

"In a manner of speaking, but it is the mind which is more important. You could have the most magical body in all the Nine Realms but it would do you no good if you did not have a mind to match."

Caroline frowned, considering his words. That brought a number of questions to her mind, but she decided not to bother with them at the moment.

"I don't think I can go at all this week," she said, returning to his plan. "I'm locked into meetings and working…"

Loki tsked. "This is rather more important than some human meetings."

She shot him a glance, eyes flashing. "Just because I'm not some mythical being doesn't mean my life isn't important. You're in my body, Loki. You can work around its schedule."

With an exaggerated roll of his eyes, he disappeared; though if she tried hard enough, she could still feeling him nestles up against her consciousness.

"Very mature," she said to the thin air.

Caroline stared up at her bedroom ceiling, willing herself to sleep. Captain Mittens was curled up on the other pillow. When she had first adopted him, he had liked to lie by her feet, but soon he discovered she tossed and turned in her sleep. It was safer by Caroline's head. The sounds of the city bled in through the window, though she was used to them enough that they didn't really register.

Her brain kept replaying the last twenty-four hours over and over again. Slow motion, fast forward, frame by frame. Every detail examined. Her strange symptoms—could they really be explained by Loki invading her body? And oh, how she'd embarrassed herself in front of Mitch—she definitely owed him an apology.

Would you please stop thinking and go to sleep?

His tired voice gave her a start, her hands gripping the blankets tight for a moment. It was the first time he'd spoken to her since he had disappeared at her kitchen table. She had almost convinced herself that it had all been a dream she'd just woken from.

"I can't sleep," she huffed, rolling onto her side. After a long moment, she spoke again. "Is it your fault my senses are going haywire?"

Probably. I have far superior senses to a human. Being in your body is a strange feeling, like I've been submerged in water. Perhaps my magic is trying to compensate.

"Well could you knock it off? It's cool to be able to run really fast and all, but hearing conversations half way down a hallway is really disconcerting."

Your mind should become accustomed to it soon. Imagine, you've trained yourself to cancel out background noise thus far. Give your ears a day or two to adjust to the increase in aural onslaught.

She sighed, and gently ran her fingers over her kitty's head. He didn't wake, though the tip of his tail twitched. Her eyelids were feeling heavier, and her muscles more relaxed. Though she had not expected it, Loki's voice had rather a soothing quality.

I'm so pleased you think so, little apricot.

"Don't sound so pleased with yourself…I'm still mad at you."

There was a long pause and Caroline thought he might be sulking again.

I suppose I would be angry as well, were I in your situation.

His apologetic tone made her feel sorry, if only a little bit. It wasn't like he had done this to her maliciously. She had been in his memories well enough to know he really didn't have much of a choice. It wasn't like he even chose her specifically—he had just happened to fixate on her at the right time. Still, she did have the right to feel upset about the situation.

"Listen, if we're…going to be sharing a body, I think we should set some ground rules," she finally murmured when he didn't comment on her thoughts.

What do you propose?

She thought back to that evening, when he had been quite. "Is there someplace you…go when you're not talking to me?"

No…yes. It's difficult to explain.

Caroline waited patiently for him to continue, though she could taste his reluctance.

Imagine, if you will, two bubbles, one inside of the other. The inner one is completely submerged in the outer one, but also separate. The walls between them are…fragile and more or less transparent. But there are walls.

"Is that what it's really like, inside a mind, I mean?"

Not really, but it should help you to understand.

"So, if I've got this, you have a part of your mind that's inside mine, but completely closed off?"

Not exactly. She could hear the frustration in his voice, because it made her feel frustrated as well. As I said, the barrier between our minds is fragile. They can easily bleed together. However, if I exert enough will, I can close my part off to yours—make the walls more opaque, stronger, for a brief time.

Caroline still wasn't entirely sure that made complete sense to her, but she was willing to go with it. "Okay, first rule: when I'm showering, bathing, changing, or in any way in a state of undress, you have to go hide in your bubble."

As if I would debase myself to such voyeuristic perversions for your measly human flesh.

His voice was a fresh cut her pride, though she couldn't be sure if she felt wounded by his words, or he was feeling wounded by hers.

"Well you debased yourself enough to crawl right into my measly human flesh," she snapped, her anger flaring at his dismissal. "Second rule: no poking around in my memories."

I cannot "poke around", as you say. Do you people honestly not understand how the brain works yet? He sighed. Unless you are actively thinking of something, I am no more aware of it than you are.

They laid in silence for a long moment, the sound of traffic calmly rushing through the window.

Anything else?

Caroline thought hard, the fog of sleep quickly descending on her. She couldn't really think of anything, but wasn't it always best to do things in threes?

"Maybe…maybe when I'm alone in my apartment you could make that projection of yourself…It would…make me feel…less crazy," she muttered, heavy eyelids giving into the demands of sleep.

Thursdays were always busy for Caroline. Not only did she have her usual routine of working out and study time, but she had a departmental meeting, two of her language groups met in the afternoon, and, on this particular Thursday, she had an advisor meeting with Dr. Hill scheduled.

Much to her delight, Loki remained more or less quite throughout the day. She could almost forget that he was there, though to really forget that there was a Norse god in her head was impossible. She wondered what he was doing, but didn't want to ask—she had asked him to respect her privacy; certainly she could do the same.

It wasn't until she was safe at home, working on the historiography section of her dissertation that he broke his silence. She was sitting at her old wooden desk, which was wedged into a corner of her bedroom. The words were flowing through her fingers for once, a steady stream of ideas that she was eager to type out before they disappeared.

I think you should go to SHIELD tomorrow.

Caroline paused from her typing, the half-formed sentences melting away from her.

"Why?" she let her annoyance at his interruption apparent through her voice, though he could probably already tell what she was feeling.

If you wait any longer, you are giving them the opportunity to remember you. If they recall that you still have two more appointments, they will send you a notice saying your appointments are cancelled. Then we have no alibi for showing up. Your privileges will be cancelled, and your presence on their ground will be met with immediate suspicion.

Caroline supposed he was right, though she was hesitant to go. Not only because it sounded wildly dangerous, but because if she went, she was acknowledging that this was more than just a delusion.

"I dunno…I mean, I've got tons of work to do," she said halfheartedly, staring at the stack of midterms she still needed to grade.

Besides, the longer you wait to collect your missing possessions, the more it will become suspicious.

She knew she had to go sooner or later, but it gave her a much needed sense of control over her life to deny him what he wanted. His words made sense though. The longer she waited, the more suspicious her presence would be.

Caroline threw her hands into the air and gave an exasperated sight, "alright, fine! We'll go tomorrow."

He didn't say anything in reply, but she could feel his self-satisfaction rise up through her chest and spread pleasingly through her limbs. It annoyed her.

Nervousness and anxiety roiled in Caroline's stomach as she stepped foot into the immaculate SHIELD lobby. She had fought the urge to be sick the entire subway ride and being at her destination only made it worse. If she was caught snooping around who knows what they'd do to her. SHIELD was, after all, some top secret government agency. For fuck's sake they had a Norse god as their prisoner.

She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. Being nervous would only make her look more suspicious.

She approached the front desk and smiled at the guard, handing over her temporary badge as she did so.

"Name and purpose?"

"Caroline Elizabeth Woods…I usually have an appointment on Tuesdays, but I forgot some of my belongings the other day."

The guard gave her a measured look as she scanned the card. Caroline got the distinct impression that most people didn't deviated from their set appointment times here.

"I'll have to call Agent Coulson to escort you," the guard stated, staring at her computer screen.

Caroline smiled, though her heart was plummeting, "no problem. I'll go wait for him at the elevators, shall I?"

The woman waved her through, and after a tortuously slow search of her bag and phone call, Caroline hurried towards the elevator bank as quickly as she dared. This was a shaping up to be a disaster. If Coulson found her, everything would be ruined.

"Alright," she muttered under her breath. "I got us in. Now help me with the technology."

I need you think hard on the times you have watched the Son of Coul escorted you. What did he do exactly?

Caroline felt sick. She could see the guard at the other end of the hallway, watching her every now and then. If she was seen pressing the elevator buttons, it would look bad.

Focus Caroline.

The purr of his voice somehow gave her the clarity she needed. Closing her eyes, she envisioned Coulson sliding his I.D. badge through the card reader.

Excellent. Now, think of it again, but this time slide your card. And open your eyes for the love of Valhalla. His tone went from calming and instructive to annoyed so quickly it made her head spin.

Unscrewing her eyes, she did as she was told. When she thought of Coulson taking out his badge, she took out her badge. When she thought of him sliding it through the reader, she did the same. He punched the down arrow in her mind at the exact time she did so in reality. Caroline felt a warm rush of…happiness? Pleasure? flow through her fingers as the arrow on top of the elevator doors was illuminated.

Congratulations, you've just preformed your first bit of magic.

"I did magic?" she whispered.

Before he could respond to her, there was a loud ding and the elevator doors slid open. Caroline was fully ready to step inside when Agent Coulson appeared behind the silver gateway.

"Miss Woods," he nodded his head in greeting. "I was just coming to get you. Please," Coulson motioned for her to step into the elevator.

What the hell was going on? Caroline thought as she stepped into the car. Did he seriously have some of her belongs? She was certain she hadn't left anything. Maybe he knew. He throat tightened at the thought.

Remain calm. Loki's voice floated through her thoughts.

She wanted to snap at him that she was calm, but she held her tongue, but she didn't need another incident like the one in her office the other day.

"I left my raincoat here…"

"I'm afraid your interview privileges must be suspended for the foreseeable future," Coulson spoke at the same time she had tried to explain her arrival.

Caroline looked at him, willing herself look surprised and worried. "Have I done something to void my contracts?"

"Let's wait until we reach my office, shall we?"

That sounded ominous, though she did her best to smile and nod. The rest of the short elevator ride was silent. As Caroline followed Coulson down a labyrinth of corridors to his office, she began to worry. What if he suspected she knew something about Loki? Not that she really knew where his body was. But what would they do if she knew his mind was inside of her own? Would they lock her up? Interrogate her? Images of grisly, medieval torture scenes from movies floated through her mind.

Has anyone ever told you that you have an overactive imagination? Loki quipped.

She ignored him, and before she could freak herself out enough to run back to the elevators, they reached his office. It was a typical office—noting particularly stood out, though it was on a corner of the building.

"Please, have a seat," Coulson said, motioning to the oatmeal colored armchair across from his desk.

Caroline did as she was told and waited for him to continue.

"I want emphasize that you did nothing to breech your confidentiality waivers. This is entirely an internal matter that, unfortunately, affects you."
She let out a nervous laugh, "I guess that's good news," she cleared her throat. "for me, at least."

Coulson gave her a tight smile. "Yes, I suppose it is. Now, I need to ask you a serious question, but you must promise me that it will not leave this room."

Caroline swallowed hard.

"Of course," she stammered.

Coulson fixed her with a strangely paternal look. As if he would be not angry but disappointed if she lied.

"Has Loki tried to contact you over the past few days? Through a proxy or…?" He did not finish the question, but left it up to her imagination.

Her eyes widened. Memories of Loki's face next to hers in the mirror, him sitting across from her at the kitchen table, the feel of his arm against her fingers all flashed through her mind.

"No, I can't say that he has."

That lie was delicious enough I could feast myself on it for a turn of the moon, apricot.

Caroline ignored him, and instead watched Coulson. She couldn't decide if he believed her, but maybe she was just being paranoid because she knew she was lying.

"Well," he said, handing her a business card. "Let me know if he does."

She took the card with relief and slipped it into her pocket. She couldn't decide if it was more or less suspicious to ask the obvious follow up to that question. After a moment, she decided she had better.

"Is he…I mean…has he escaped?"

"I can't answer that." There was an awkward pause. "But let me assure you that if you need it, SHIELD can provide for your safety."

She couldn't really think of anything to say in reply, so she just smiled and muttered a halfhearted thank you. She hoped her natural nervousness was channeling into an appropriate response in his eyes.

After a moment Coulson stood and moved to the door of his office.

"I am sorry we couldn't help more with your dissertation. But if Thor shows up in the near future, we'll let you know," he said half-joking, before opening the door and motioning her out.

Caroline stood and smiled in thanks as an irrational flash of loathing and jealousy seared through her body.

Standing on the platform of the subway, Caroline pulled out her phone and pretended to make a call.

"Well, what now?" She asked, knowing Loki would figure out that her words were meant for him.

I haven't a clue.

"Fantastic."

Well, I hope you enjoyed chapter 3!

I'd like to thank Zizfox and BloodRedRoses24 for taking the time to review chapter 2! I'd also like to thank everyone who added this story or me to their favorites or alerts! 3

Comments, Questions, Constructive Criticism? Please PM or Review!