Chapter Three

She worked at Camp Rock that summer and filled in wherever Brown needed her. She called Nate every chance she got and with each phone call she sounded more and more like herself. She was writing again. She was going to finish the album. She had 6 songs she'd recorded during the tour and she was still writing new ones every day.

"This album is going to be much more me than my last two," she told him over the phone. "I can't wait for you to hear these songs. Yet I'm totally terrified to play them for anyone," she said with a soft laugh. "It's like singing my diary."

"I've got this coming weekend free," he told her. "I should come visit before the summer ends. Maybe we can use Brown's studio to record some demos."

"I'd love that," Ella told him. "I really would."

"Then it's settled," he told her. "I'll see you this weekend."

"Looking forward to it," she said in a tone that was happier than he'd heard her in months.

She hugged him so tight when he arrived that weekend. He was surprised but he didn't fight it. He hugged her just as tightly in return.

"I've missed you," Ella said with a happy sigh.

He smiled fondly at her and then placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I missed you too, Sparkles."

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "That's not what I mean, Nate. I—I missed us. I let us drift so far apart while I was with Luke and I shouldn't have done that. You're my best friend and I'm always going to need you."

He inhaled the sent of her shampoo, lavender and vanilla, and nodded against her shoulder. "The feelings mutual, Ella."

She pulled out of the hug but kept a firm grip on his hand. "Come on, I want to play you my songs."

She led him to one of the rehearsal cabins and played him the songs she'd written since she'd left for Camp and for a second it felt like they were teenagers again getting ready for a Jam. She was right, though, she was basically singing her diary. The songs were beautiful. Eloquent, emotional, earnest. They were totally honest. She put everything on the table and he loved her all the more for it. Every one of them was one of her best songs to date.

"Ella," he said with obvious awe. "You're amazing."

She blushed and shook her head. "No, I'm really not."

"Yes, you are. What are you going to call it? The new album, I mean?" He asked as he sat next to her on the piano bench.

"I was thinking…Chrysalis," She said slowly and thoughtfully as if she thought he might laugh.

"I like it. It's fitting as a metaphor for…revival," he said as he referenced the title of one of her new songs.

"Exactly," she said with a contended sigh.

"Are you happy, Ells?" He asked as he searched her eyes for an answer before she even spoke.

"I'm getting there," she told him honestly. "I'm happier now than I was when I was with Luke so that's a step in the right direction, isn't it?"

"Absolutely," he agreed.

The weekends were free time for the kids so Ella had no classes to attend and she and Nate wandered around Camp together. They walked trails through the woods and talked about everything and nothing.

"Do you remember that day I locked myself in my bathroom—silly question—I mean it's hard to forget," she said with a soft sigh.

"It's definitely hard to forget. You had me terrified, Ells," he told her honestly.

"I terrified myself," she told him with a shake of her head. "Ever since things started to go bad with Luke I've felt like it was my fault. Like my career did this. Luke felt that way too. He told me as much every single time we fought. I worked so hard to try and make up for it. To make things better. I bent over backwards trying to make him happy and I could never succeed. So, when it ended…when it finally ended and everything I did was pointless it just crushed me. My chest felt crushed by guilt every moment of every day. I screwed it up. I was to blame. My fault, my career, my choices…my fault."

"You never said anything," Nate told her with a furrowed brow.

"I didn't know how or what to say," she admitted. "I had no words to express the utter failure I thought myself to be. It's not over. I'm still struggling with it every day. I have to remind myself of…" she paused and then turned to give him a warm smile. "Of what you said to me that day."

"Me?" He asked in surprise.

"Yes, Nate, you," she said as she stopped when they reached a clearing in the woods and turned to face him. "You're so much more than any one relationship. You're worth more than any mistake you could have made and you can do more than you could ever imagine. You've got friends who care about you and love you. Nothing about you is worthless or useless or undeserving of anything you have," she repeated from memory. "It's burned into my brain. When I feel that guilt I think about that and it lightens the load until a piece of it slowly melts away. One day at a time."

"It's all true," he assured her. "In fact, I'm certain that Luke's issues had nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own failings. He just took it out on you and blamed you. You tried to reach him Ella but he refused to meet you halfway. That part is on him."

"I'm starting to see that," she agreed. "I mean I compare him to you or any of my friends and it's so different. I was away from all of you for the better part of two years, working, and yet none of you told me to stop or accused me of abandoning you. In fact, you encouraged to do more and be more and enjoy it. If Luke had truly cared about me, he would have done that too. My dreams and my life are not lesser than his. I see that now."

Nate wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. He didn't often initiate hugs but in this instance he couldn't help it. He was so happy to see her healing. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed contentedly as she rested her head against his shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Sparkles."

She chuckled and nodded against his shoulder. "I'm proud of me too."

And this was all before lunch. Lunch that they later had with both Connie Torres and Brown Cesario.

"There we go," Connie said as she sat out burgers and fries on their table in Brown's cabin. "The Camp Rock favorites for two of my favorites."

Ella chuckled at her. "We could have eaten in the Mess with the kids, Mrs. Torres."

"Please, Connie," she said as she gave Ella a parental glare. "Call me Connie. You too, Mister," she said as she pointed at Nate.

"Oh no, I couldn't do that," Nate told her nervously. "You're practically my brother's Mother-in-Law."

"If either of them ever get it together and make that last step," Connie said with an amused smile and a shake of her head. "Been long enough, don't you think?"

"Everything in it's own time, Connie," Brown told her with a laugh. "No need to rush anything."

Ella's smile dimmed just a little and Nate could tell what she was thinking. That's what she'd done. What she and Luke had done. They'd rushed. Nate reached under the table and squeezed her hand gently, she looked up at him and her eyes met with his reassuring smile. She visibly relaxed.

"So," Brown asked after he and Connie exchanged a knowing look. "How's the song writing coming, Pador?"

"Really well, actually," Ella said with an excited smile. "Nate and I were actually wondering if we could use your studio later for demos?"

"Anything you need, Ella," Brown told her with a wink. "Record away."

"But eat first," Connie said sternly as Ella beamed eagerly at Brown. "We know how you get when you're working."

Ella blushed prettily but nodded and picked up a fry from her plate. "Understood."

"So, how's Connect Three these days, Nate?" Brown asked curiously.

"Oh good, same as always," he told him. "We're taking some time off to keep things from becoming too routine. Jason's got some gigs booked to play guitar on a few tracks for other artists and Shane's gonna try the acting thing."

"What about you?" Ella asked as she lifted the bun of her burger and motioned for Nate to take the pickles. He laughed softly at her and picked them up with his fork.

"I thought I'd try some producing. I've got a few offers and then…I don't know. I guess I'll see what happens," He told her with a smile. "It's good. This will be the first time in my life that I don't have a plan. It's kind of…refreshing."

"Wow," Ella said with a laugh. "Nate Gray enjoying not having a plan. Who'd have thought?"

"Hey! I don't always have a plan."

"Right, sure you don't," Ella said sarcastically with a teasing grin. "You're totally impulsive. All the time."

"I can be," he told her. "You know, sometimes."

She gave him a knowing look and he laughed before holding his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay. Never. I'm never impulsive."

"Well," Connie said with a warm motherly smile. "That's what happens when you've worked every day since you were—what?—thirteen? I think you're right. A little time to wander will do you good, Nate."

"Thank you, Mrs. Torr—" she gave him a look and he faltered. "Connie. I appreciate the support."

"Hey, I'll support you in whatever you want to do, Nathaniel," Ella said with a grin. "I just think this nomad thing you're attempting is going to be a lot harder for you than you think. You're a planner and it works on you. That's all I'm saying."

"Well, Sparkles," Nate said as he reached out a hand and tugged lightly on a strand of hair that had fallen from her pony tail. "If it's difficult then I guess I'll just have to let you help me."

"Anything for you, Nate," she told him with a secretive smile. He knew she was repeating his words from months earlier. He knew because he felt his stomach flutter as she said the words. She didn't mean it like he did, but it still felt wonderful to hear her say them.

Ella's phone rang suddenly and she glanced down at it hesitantly. Her brow furrowed and she excused herself from the table. Three pairs of eyes followed her out the door. But as soon as she was gone two pairs turned on him.

"Nate," Brown said with a sympathetic smile. "You realize you're in love with the girl, don't you?"

He gulped and stared at his uncle in shock. "You could tell that within one dinner?"

Connie laughed and shook her head at him. "You have far too much warmth in your eyes when you look at her to be just her friend. And, if I'm honest, she's more herself when you're around. You make her…"

"Stronger," Brown finished for her. "That's where you were going wasn't it?"

She nodded. "Yes, exactly. And I've never really seen you seem so carefree before. That's interesting. You look…lighter."

He smiled softly at his plate before daring to look up at the two of them again. "She's always made me feel more…normal, I guess. Like Nate Gray is some other guy who's too busy and too stressed out but Nathaniel—well—he's just your average guy and he's enjoying life as it comes. Is that—is that weird?"

"No, Nate," Brown told him. "It means she makes you feel valued and safe so you're able to relax. She cares about who you are and not what you do. Well, I'm sure she cares about what you do but only in so far as it makes you happy. It's a rare thing to find that level of comfort. You're in for a bit of a wait, though. You know that?"

He nodded. "I'm a patient guy. I always have been. I can wait for her to be ready."

"You're a true gentleman, Nate," Connie told him with a warm smile. "Never change."

He chuckled lightly at that. "You know, Mitchie almost said that exact same thing once."

"What can I say?" Connie said with a smirk. "Like mother, like daughter."

Ella came back in then and they all watched her carefully. Her brow was furrowed and her lips were pursed and she looked very thoughtful.

"Everything okay, Ells?" Nate asked in concern.

She shook herself out of her thoughts and then nodded. "Oh, yeah, sorry. That was the label. They want another single within the month. They think one of the six I've already recorded will work."

"Didn't you tell me that all you had completed for the album were party anthems or up tempo love songs?" Nate asked in confusion.

"Yeah," she answered with a slight grimace. "But I mean that should be fine. I knew the label would find those songs more commercial anyway."

"You don't seem to keen on the idea, love," Brown said observantly.

"I don't know. It just feels wrong," she said with a sigh. "I've been through so much recently that an up tempo club mix single would feel…artificial."

It was an odd word to use but Nate understood her meaning perfectly. "What about one of the new songs? Something a little more relevant to where you are now. It's your career, Ella, and you're a proven success now. You can veto them and there's really nothing they can do to stop you."

Ella's doubtful look gave way to a determined grin and she nodded decisively. "Screw them," Ella said to the whole group. "I always let Luke and the label talk me into those party songs and while it's fun to sing one every now and then…I want to do more. I want to create music than means more. I'm just going to have show them who I used to be. Who I still am sometimes. As soon as we're done with dinner, I'm getting to work," Ella said before she turned and pointed at Nate. "And you're helping me."

He chuckled and nodded. "I knew that was coming. Whatever you need, Ella."