It was graduation day. Karin looked around emotionlessly at all her peers. She would be attending a small university a couple towns over in the fall. She'd really dropped the ball after Ichigo's funeral, quitting all her clubs, barely passing her classes, always late to school, stopped going to Urahara's and stopped training with Yuroichi. She had sought out any Hollows she could sense, hoping to go and join her brother, to be with him again, but they all seemed to disappear when she came near. She was plagued by nightmares of her brother's body covered in blood and riddled with bullet holes, his lively, defiant brown eyes cold and dull. Lifeless. At first she would wake up screaming. Now she just bore her horror in silence and waited for sleep to take her again. For the first few months, she just came to school disheveled, her uniform rumpled and her hair in disarray. She'd fall asleep in class and then would go home and sleep, neglecting to take showers for a few days at a time. Then she cut all her hair off one night in a fit of rage and started fighting with her father and sister. Yuzu had started spending her nights at her boyfriend's house with his family because Isshin and Karin had started to depress her almost to the point of no return and Karin had chased him from the house with her temper and sudden violent tendencies. Karin started wearing black eyeliner and eye shadow, filling her wardrobe with dark colors, dressing like she was in a constant state of mourning. Kids at school had started avoiding her; afraid of the next violent fight she would start in the hallways because 'he stared at her the wrong way'. She was numb to the world, not even noticing when her name was called for her diploma. Finally her classmates rose to leave and she hurried towards home, not noticing Yuroichi waiting for her outside until the woman practically lariat her to the ground.
"Congratulations Karin-chan," she said in her usual playful cat-like manner.
"Yuroichi, what the hell are you doing her," Karin grumbled in response. Yuroichi frowned.
"I came to see you graduate and talk some sense into your skinny ass."
"Well, you saw me graduate, you can give me the lecture on the way home," she said emotionlessly, shoving her hands in her pockets and heading in the direction of her house. Yuroichi grabbed her again.
"Oh no, you don't! It's to Urahara's shop with you," she retorted, heaving Karin over her shoulder and walking off. Karin resisted for a few moments before resigning herself and sulking all the way there. When they got close to the shop, the smell of barbeque filled her nostrils and the sound of chatter and laughter rang in her ears. They turned the corner and revealed all the usual Soul Reapers and Ichigo's friends Orihime, Ishida, and Sado mingling and laughing. Yuroichi deposited Karin on one of the table benches and Orihime embraced her warmly.
"Congratulations Karin-chaaan," she squealed. Sado ruffled her hair.
"I remember when I used to have to save your life," he said quietly, in his warm, Sado way. Ishida just adjusted his glasses and nodded to her. The Soul Reapers waved and for the first time in months, Karin felt something. Overwhelmed. The memories engulfed her and caused a lump in her throat. These were all Ichigo's friends, not hers. Ichigo should be here, but he wasn't. Rukia smiled and waved to her from a few yards away where she stood with Renji, and Karin's heart tightened. Those two were Ichigo's BEST Soul Reaper friends, always coming to the house and sleeping in his closet and breaking his stuff. Karin wanted to scream. Why would Urahara and Yuroichi torment her like this!? How could they be so cruel!?
Then she heard the door slide open.
Ichigo stood in the doorway, alone, and smiling his stupid Ichigo-grin. And she broke.
"NI-SAN," she cried and cleared the table with one leap in her haste to get to her brother, for fear that he might disappear and she would be alone again. Tears streamed from her face now, and she fell into her brother's arms, sobbing. Her father and Yuzu appeared from inside, grinning. Ichigo stroked her hair and murmured how much he missed her into her hair. She continued to cry, letting everything out, all the pain and hurt since his death, feeling lighter as every moment passed. She cried for what seemed like forever before pulling away and looking at him, smiling for the first time in months.
"What took you so long," she asked tearfully. He laughed.
"I had to graduate from the academy before I could come back. And now I'm the third seat in Squad 10," he said proudly. She hugged him again.
"I missed you so much," she muttered into his shirt. He smelled the same as he always did, like soap and a fresh fight. He was always fighting…it was as if he'd never left. Finally she stepped back and wiped her eyes.
"Well, congrats on your graduation," she said. He smiled and tousled her short hair.
"You too little sister," he said. Finally, she could begin living again, knowing her brother was still around. They turned to the crowd of Soul Reapers and friends and started eating and laughing together. Karin sat with her brother and Rukia and Renji, and Rangiku sauntered up to her and sat on her other side.
"Karin-chan! You're so grown up! But what did you do to your hair?" she asked, making small talk. Karin touched her hair, remembering the day she'd held the scissors and cut it, hoping to look more like her dead brother. That was the past now.
"Well, let's just say we had an argument," she replied. Rangiku laughed.
"Hitsugaya-taicho wanted to apologize for not being able to come, he got caught up in his office with his paperwork," she said nonchalantly, but clearly trying to scope out how Karin would respond to the mention of Toshiro. Karin's stomach fluttered.
"Well, I'm sure he thought I wouldn't be too keen on seeing him after the way we left things last time we saw each other," she replied, looking a little guilty. Rangiku looked happy.
"Oh I'm sure but, all the same."
"Tell him I'm sorry, will you, Rangiku-san?"
"Of course! Although your brother might as well, he does all my paper work, he may as well be lieutenant. He sees the captain more than I do nowadays, eh, Ichigo-kun," Rangiku teased, leaning over Karin and making her large bosom clearly visible to her brother. Ichigo started stuttering and the 2 began to bicker playfully, more at Ichigo's expense than at Rangiku's. Karin felt at peace once more.