Hey everyone, I'm back~! I can't tell you how hard squealed when I saw my inbox! I was SO happy. I really appreciate it everyone! I'm trying to come up with as many funny things as I can so if it gets a little weird, pay it no mind.

I don't own any of the characters except for Jim, the homosexual talking rock who is awesome~!

You know how when you think you woke up from nightmare but then you end up finding something amazing seeping right next to you with his mouth ungraciously opened, and so were his legs?

Well kids, that's how Claude felt. He and Sebastian must've gone to a local bar as a celebration thing that they always do after shopping and coming out the store with the building in one piece.

And judging by the catnip tequila bottle in Sebastian's hand, they must've had one hell of a party last night...then again, the string bikini Sebastian was wearing didn't help his demonic hangover at all, just gave him a throbbing some where else.

Sebastian cracked one lazy red eye open and Claude almost jizzed in his pants.

"Claude why do you look like Brad Pitt? Oh shit, I meant to say Tom Cruise. Fuck no, it was Channing Tatum, yeah. He's hot." Oh yeah, he's still drunk.

"Is that a confession I just heard?" Claude grinned, watching the rosy hue dust the raven's cheeks.

"Fuck you, Claude."

"Well judging by your choice of nightwear, I'd say we already did."

"Well then let me do it again so my words will have meaning." Sebastian let out what sounded like a whale having an orgasm.

"Something wrong, Michaelis?" Claude's hand was slapped back towards him as Sebastian tried to move.

"Well piss nuggets, how the hell am I supposed to get up?" Sebastian huffed, glaring at the ceiling.

"I could use my Spiderman powers."

"No, I think I'll lay in bed and play Pokemon all day, thank you. I doubt I'll be able to walk. Besides, I prefer Batman."

"Why him, his voice is too rough."

"I bet his penis is as big as the Bat mobile." The raven licked his lips and grabbed his Nintendo 3 Ds (again, because they obviously have this shizz in the late 1800th century! Everyone should know history like I do!)

Claude just shrugged on his butler uniform, and very quickly pecked Sebastian on the cheek before walking out the room. The raven sat up, stunned at what the spider did. He was just about to go ask Claude when a voice stopped him.

"GIRL, I KNOW YOU AIN'T GOING ASK YO HUBBY WHY HE DID THAT!" the voice had a high pitch tone.

"What the hell, who are you!?" Sebastian whipped his head around looking for the source of the voice.

"I'm Jim, the homosexual talking rock, honey. How about you lift up your damn stiletto and look in the sole!" It commanded.

"Um, okay,sure." Sebastian set the game system down and lifted up the shoe.

Sure enough, a little rock with a face smiled up at him.

"Hey there, neighbor. What's your name? Oh my goodness, I love your nails, girl!"

"Well, I did do them myself. But it appears I can't remember how yet. I still have a hangover." Sebastian got on his butler uniform and picked up Jim.

"Ah, have that problem too sometimes. So girl, what're we gonna do today?" He sounded like that talking orange that annoys the crap out of everyone...must be the same voice actor.

"Um...well, I suppose I could bring the Young Master his tea..." He placed the rock gently in his palm and took off towards the Young Master's office.

'So this 'Young Master' of yours, is he like-you're pimp or something?" Jim quirked an eye-wait, rocks don't have eyebrows.

'Yeah, well, last time I checked, they didn't talk either.' Sebastian's conscience sighed.

Finally the two reached the Young Master's office. The demon opened the door and shrieked.

"Ouch, damn girlfriend, that actually- OH SWEET TAP DANCING BABY JESUS WHAT THE HELL!?" Jim gave a manly cry as he gaped.

There, on the large oak desk, Ciel Phantomhive was finally topping Alois Trancy. In sexy kimonos, too.

"Sebastian, where have you been? Where's my tea? Do you really want to get hit by my awesome pimp cane, again?" Ciel seethed, then realized while he was talking, Alois had swapped their positions to where he was on top.

"Okay, well that answers my question." Jim deadpanned.

Ciel looked up to see who was talking and spotted the turd-shaped rock in Sebastian's hand. First he sees Mey-rin giving Bard a blow job, then he has to explain what 'sex' is to Finnian, after that he finds an old woman giving Tanaka a lap-dance, and now his demon butler and ONLY useful servant in the manor, holding a talking rock.

So, the thirteen year old Earl did what any sane person would do, he took his pimp cane and nudged the rock in his butler's hand.

"Um, back it up sweetie, I just met you. Don't get ahead of yourself and start poking me with sticks just yet." If Jim had arms, Sebastian knew he'd have them on what he'd assumed were Jim's hips.

Ciel facepalmed and looked up at the raven, "Sebastian, why is there a talking rock in your hand?"

"I honestly don't remember." Sebastian looked down at Jim, who glared at him.

"Well, this is the 'thanks' I get for everything I've done?"

"Hey, I just met you." Sebastian held up his one unoccupied arm up in defense.

"This is crazy." Ciel groaned and shook his head.

Then, Alois just had to put his two cents in before someone stole his line. *coughcoughClaudecoughcoughshot*

"HERE'S MY NUMBER! SO CALL ME MAYBE!" He sang happily, while the other three stared stupidly at him.

" Anyways, so tell me, are you a pimp in progress?" Jim grinned at Ciel, who blushed.

"A what?"

"You heard me; are you a pimp in progress?"

"I own a cane and I beat most of my servants with it. Does that count?"

"HEY! I'm not your servant!" Alois had tick mark forming.

Ciel turned around slowly with a sadistic grin and said," No, you're just my whore."

Alois pouted and found on of Ciel's fountain pens to occupy himself with, because with Alois Tranny-whoops, I meant to say Trancy- entertainment comes easily.

"Well, at least we know you're learning." Jim stated with a grimace, before noticing Claude walk in.

"Michaelis, I do say- it appears you have a turd-shaped rock in your hand-" Claude adjusted his glasses," and it has a face."

"Now I see why you sleep in his bed, girl. Get you some of THAT D!" Jim laughed, finding the fact that Sebastian was blushing was absolutely hilarious.

"I'm going vegetarian-"

"Oh please, as if you would resist it, Sebastian." Ciel added with a shit-eating smirk, wanting to see how pissed off and embarrassed his butler could get.

"And this something coming from someone who was just about to have hot, slippery wet-" Alois sided with Sebastian, only because he wanted to Ciel get cornered.

"Shut up, Alois." Ciel cut him off with a grunt.

"And on a desk too. Oh how classy of you, Earl Phantomhive." Alois giggled at Ciel's blush...before he was wacked on the ass with Ciel's pimp cane.

"Bad whore! Go to your room!" He pointed with the cane towards the door.

"No, I'm staying right here!" Alois crossed his arms and pointed his nose in the air.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ciel raise the cane again and yelped," OKAY! FINE, I'LL GO!"

Once Alois was out of the room, he turned around to see that no one was in there with him any more. Taking a couple glances around the room, he shoved the paperwork aside and took out Sebastian's Nintendo 3 Ds and started playing pokemon.

"Bitches don't know about my Pikachu!" he declared, battling that green-haired freak that says he can talk to Pokemon but is really just on crack.

So, how was it? I told you this chapter might be a little dull but nonetheless, the next few chapters will be better. Please leave a review and tell me what you guys think! I'll be back soon~