She was wearing a tight black vest over a white blouse; her hair was wrapped in an ornate bun per usual. The stray lavender strands fell wispily around her ears. She could feel his eyes all over her. They always were. But Konan pretended not to care.
Pain cleared his throat as he rested his elbows on the bar, "So, how have you been?"
"Same as always." She said with a sigh, not bringing her eyes to his.
"Are you busy later? I mean, after closing."
"I'll be busy sleeping. Come on, Pain, it's been a long week."
"I know. I was just wondering if you wanted to…"
Before Pain could finish his offer, Konan gently slid a scotch in front of him. She let her fingers fall away from the bent rim of the glass, and her eyes fell back to the floor. She hoped that a drink would move his thoughts away from her. He was a brooder when he drank. At least he was quiet.
"Thanks." He shrugged.
You're welcome.
He cleared his throat before taking a gulp. Pain looked around with rejected eyes. Konan was trying to keep him occupied. She was pushing him away. And just like that, she walked away. Not to appear rude; she had a business to manage. Konan left the bar-tending to Naiomi, who was trying not to flirt with a customer across the bar.
The back of her head tickled lightly. Maybe he was watching her, but it could have been her imagination. As Konan made her way between the benches and tables, she curved around the front-right stage to a dense, industrial-sized door behind a heavy velvet curtain.
She made haste once she passed beyond its metallic threshold, her insides churned. A dancer wiped her brow as she stepped down from the rear curtain of the main stage. Konan took the first door on the right to her own office. Now that she was alone Konan's heart rate picked up, and her lungs began to panic.
I can't tell him. I can't tell him.
Konan wasn't alone for a minute- when there was a knock at her door. She paused, holding her breath and trying to remain calm as she opened it. Pain ran his hands through his greased, spiky red hair. He tapped his foot nervously.
"Hey uh. Look-"
Konan scowled, "No. You can't be back here. It is literally against my own rules to allow customers past the curtains."
Pain rolled his eyes, "I don't care!" He leaned in closer, before looking over his shoulder. "What happened to us? What did I do?"
Konan pretended to look uninterested, "Nothing. You did nothing."
"Then why haven't we had a regular conversation for over a week, huh?"
I can't tell him. I-
Pain looked anxious. He flicked his lip ring with his teeth, "Fine. Fine. You don't wanna talk about it." He looked away, leaning off from the doorframe.
"I'm working, Pain." Konan watched as Pain shook his head, and stepped off. It was always the best excuse but also the worst, because it shouldn't have to be.
Konan shut the door again. Out of sight, out of mind. Or so they say. The emotions came rushing back through her chest. habitually, she let herself fall onto the red suede sofa adjacent to her desk.
"Touch me."
Her own voice whispered into her ears, and Pain's imaginary touch glazed her skin. Konan shot up from the sofa.
It might as well be cursed.
Konan's memories pressed deep into her eyelids. Blinking embedded them into her sights like sunspots. An entourage of dancers giggled backstage, passing close to the door. It's just one night, Konan told herself. She had to get through it. Like a magnet, her eyes located the clock across her desk.
11:09 P.M.
I can make it. I'm not really here for me, afterall.
It was Konan's floor, she paid lease and stocked the shelves herself, but it wasn't all about the profits. The stage was a sanctuary. A place where these smart, beautiful girls could make a pretty penny to step out of a tougher life. Every policy Konan signed them for protected them.
"Alena, Alena don't cry." Konan clutched the young girl by the shoulders.
"He- he was going to grab me!"
"He can't grab you sweetheart."
"I can't dance anymore… I haven't recovered."
"That's fine. I want you to be comfortable. Can you work the bar for me?"
Alena nodded, wiping away her tears with shaky hands.
"He can't grab you. Nobody can grab you. Any man that does, violates my house rules, and I will sue. You're safe here."
If only there had been a place like that for her when she needed it. But no- it was a tough life. Sometimes Konan thinks it always will be. With a balled fist, she marched back out from the curtained doorway, back out to the dim lights and deep sensual rock jams. Konan's hand fearfully grazed her stomach, pretending to fiddle with the button of her blouse.
I can't tell him yet.