Chapter Three

Carlisle

Something had happened to my family, something insidious that I couldn't put my finger on. We had always been close, had done things together as a family and lived almost as a human family did but now everything was different although it was difficult to pinpoint just what. We had a beautiful house in the suburbs of Boston and I had a position at a private clinic that treated the mentally ill, a new venture for me and one I was enjoying. Esme had started up an interior design business with Rosalie and Alice which was doing spectacularly well, Edward had begun to teach the piano to gifted children, a new venture for him too, and one I still had reservations about as he wasn't the most patient of people but he seemed to be doing well enough. Emmett had finally turned his expertise in computing to good use writing programs for new games from home and testing others. We had lost only one member of our family, Jasper, but it felt like more as if we were each somewhat removed from the others.

Alice had done everything in her power to keep Jasper here knowing how important it was for him to stay among our kind, the animal hunters, but he hadn't settled after we left Forks. For a while, I tried talking to him, attempting to get to the bottom of his feelings of unrest but to no avail. He couldn't explain why he couldn't stay, just that he felt restless and needed to be doing something. Esme and I were both concerned that he might return to Mexico even though we didn't think he would go back to Maria and were very relieved when he moved in with his old friends Peter and Charlotte Whitlock.

Jasper

The past eighteen months had been a nightmare for me and I had no idea why. Moving from Forks had seemed a good idea at the time, Carlisle got a better job offer and there was little to keep us there. Edward didn't seem terribly worried about his human girlfriend but then he had kept her away from the family most of the time, not wanting her to pick up that there was anything different about us, so I guess he hadn't been as serious about her as he had seemed at first.

Boston was OK, there was plenty of history to the place which kept me interested for a while but then I found I was becoming unsettled and couldn't work out why. It was almost as if I found myself drifting away from the family and Alice in particular. Like Edward, I found the feelings I had once felt for Alice had been ephemeral and they were slipping away day by day until I found myself regarding her more as a sister than anything more but it seemed I was not alone in feeling this, Alice admitted, when I told her, that she herself had felt the same way and so we were able to part as friends.

I also found the others irritating, Emmett's boyish enthusiasm, Rosalie's constant paranoia, Esme's insistence of treating us like teenagers and Edwards arrogance which I had once been able to ignore now grated on my nerves. Whatever had caused these changes they made it impossible for me to remain with the Cullens any longer so I made the decision to move back in with Peter and Charlotte.

They were only too pleased to welcome me back and for a while, the restlessness died away and I was able to relax and enjoy life once again but it didn't last and as I couldn't find the right words to explain why to Peter we ended up arguing.

"I just don't get it, Major, there's something fucking weird going on. You haven't been yourself for weeks."

"Maybe if you got off my back I would be Peter, ever thought of that?"

"Maybe if you stopped acting like a horses ass I would get off your back but all you do is mope around, take exception to everything I say and bite Charlotte's head off if she so much as looks the wrong way."

I opened my mouth to answer him then stopped as I realized my fists were clenched and I was only seconds away from attacking. He was right, there was something very wrong with me and it wasn't his fault but I couldn't find the words to explain, I needed to get the hell off the ranch, away from him, and cool down so I just turned and stalked off. By the time I returned we had both cooled down and life went back to normal for a while. No, that was a lie, things were never normal after that. We circled each other warily like two bears with thorns in our paws ready to flare up at the first word out of place. Charlotte did her best to defuse the situation but nothing she said made me feel any better, in fact, I felt myself becoming more tense and bad tempered day by day. The atmosphere became so tense that I found myself making excuses to stay away for weeks at a time although all I did on those occasions was to wander aimlessly which didn't help my frame of mind or my temper.

The arrival, quite out of the blue, of an invitation from the Volturi to join the guard, therefore, was a blessing in disguise, it gave me something else to think about. Perhaps what I was missing was a sense of purpose, after all, it had been many years since I found myself doing anything productive. My strengths were not the kind that found much use in a family setting but if I were to join the Volturi I would once again have that sense of purpose. Unlike my friends I didn't see the Volturi as a force for evil in our world, as Carlisle had explained to me once it was only because of their strength, their strict adherence to the laws they had made that we as a species were able to live in the same world as the humans without war. So, being a part of the guard that ensured those laws were upheld by our kind made sense to me. But I wasn't going to make any decisions in a hurry, I would think about it for a while before giving my reply to the Volturi.

Carlisle

I suppose I thought that might be the end of the matter after all Jasper had always gotten along very well with Peter and Charlotte, they were his oldest and best friends but I was wrong. It didn't take long for the restlessness to return and the next thing I heard was that he was considering a position in the Volturi guard. It was Aro himself who informed me of this because he wanted me to back him in his attempt to recruit The Major.

"A word from you would be much appreciated, old friend."

"I'm really not comfortable with the idea of Jasper becoming involved with the military again, Aro."

"Nonsense Carlisle, the guard is not the military. They rarely leave Volterra and are more a police force if you want to make comparisons with the human world. Surely even you agree that we need laws and a way of upholding them. After all, you were very keen on a strong policing policy when you lived here if memory serves me right."

"True, I do agree but I'm just not sure it would be right for Jasper, he's seen enough violence to last any man a lifetime. He is perhaps better suited to a quieter life these days."

"I doubt you really think that Carlisle, after all, if he was looking for peace and quiet wouldn't he have remained with you? I hardly think he will find much of either with the Whitlocks. To be honest Carlisle quite apart from his skills making him admirably suited to the guard there is also another reason for the invitation. My brothers are frankly concerned about him. The Major has a rather singular reputation and they worry that he may become a problem left to his own devices. I have pointed out that is highly unlikely but I would hate for them to push me into a corner where the only possible alternative would be…...well, I'm sure you understand. So, you see, it would be in everyone's best interests were he to agree to work for us."

I did understand, I knew only too well that Caius had always been uneasy with a warrior such as The Major living free in the world, he didn't trust Jasper and he wouldn't hesitate to push for his execution if the alternative was a possible threat to the Volturi.

"I can't bring any pressure to bear Aro, Jasper no longer lives with us but I will speak to him about his choices, if he is willing to speak with me that is, we don't hear from him often these days."

"I see. It's a pity he and dear little Alice parted, the two of them together would have made a powerful force for good here in Volterra. I take it there is no chance that she too is unsettled and looking for a new start in life?"

"No, she isn't Aro. Alice is quite happy here with us."

He laughed softly at my abrupt answer,

"There is no need to sound so defensive Carlisle, I was only enquiring. Well, hopefully, the next time we speak I shall have good news for you."

Esme was horrified when I told her the subject of my conversation with Aro.

"Carlisle, we can't allow Aro to force Jasper into the guard. After all he has been through the last thing he needs is to be living in an atmosphere of suspicion and violence."

I shook my head, Esme was blinkered when it came to the Volturi, suspicion would not allow her to see anything good in my old friends, but I had to try.

"The guard is the Volturi police force Esme, not a howling mob out to wreak havoc."

"So you say but they make me extremely nervous and I don't trust Aro Volturi an inch. Why don't we ask Alice what she thinks? She may have seen something. I just wish I knew what had changed, why he was so unhappy here all of a sudden."

"It was hardly sudden my dear, Jasper had been unsettled for some time but something seems to have affected us all. Perhaps it's time for us to go our separate ways for a while. We have been a family for a very long time and that can become wearing."

Esme looked at me in horror, as if I had just made some shocking pass at her, then shook her head looking at me stubbornly. She was adamant that the family needed to stay together to give it's individual members strength and a feeling of belonging.

"It's all Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Edward know Carlisle, would you cast them all adrift?"

I could have pointed out that her statement was not quite true, Rose and Emmett had left for years at a time in the past and succeeded quite admirably on their own. Admittedly the same could not be said of Edward who had left only once and returned after being unable to make a go of it alone. Even Alice had lived for decades on her own and survived, but I didn't. Esme loved all our children and considered them her own, what would be the point in upsetting her further now?

We found Alice in her room reading, something she had never been that fond of before unless there were color fashion plates attached! She smiled up at us as we entered then seeing Esme's expression became serious.

"Oh dear, such long faces, what's the matter?"

I explained my conversation with Aro and Esme's concerns,

"I wanted to ask you if you'd seen anything, Alice? You know Jasper best of all, what do you think of this idea?"

She put her book down very deliberately and sighed,

"Well, I haven't actually seen anything Esme so I guess it won't affect the rest of us but I don't think that's what you were getting at is it? I can only give you my personal opinion and I think just maybe it will give Jazz somewhere he can feel at home."

She saw the hurt look on Esme's face and continued hurriedly,

"I know you abhor violence and war Esme but it's all Jazz knows. Remember he joined the Confederate army when he was just a boy and after that, he served in Maria's army so maybe joining the Volturi guard will give him a sense of belonging."

Esme was on the offensive and snapped out her next question.

"Doesn't it bother you that he will be expected to kill again?"

"More to the point, will it bother him? After all, those he is expected to kill will be lawbreakers, he'd be fighting for something he can believe in."

I nodded seeing her point of view, she did know him best and what he knew was keeping the peace, however that had to be accomplished.

I put an arm around Esme's stiff shoulders and guided her gently back downstairs,

"I think we must leave it to Jasper to decide what is best for him, Esme."

She knew that tone of voice, I rarely used it but when I did it meant that the subject was closed. I was more concerned with keeping the rest of the family from fracturing, even if Esme didn't feel the strain within the family I did and it worried me.