Asami gripped the ruffled sheets and brought them close to her heart. She stayed in a fetal position for most of what is left of the evening. Her eyes were heavy as her heart is. She kept staring at the balcony, hoping for any sign of the Avatar's return, for any strong gust of wind to tell her that she is back. That she loves her again.
She considered fooling herself again, that Korra was just busy doing things that only the Avatar could do. She considered giving in to intoxication, heaps of bottles hailed across the nations for their strength just waiting for her, tempting her to give in to misery. She considered living a lie like she did six months ago.
Six months prior
Asami Sato with all her glamour and honor has entered the grand hall. Painted lips turning to polite smiles, manicured hands making the most graceful of gestures, emerald eyes gleaming with enthusiasm - she was the epitome of both beauty and success at such a young age in Republic City. Men and women would look at her with awe as she walked and waved. Numerous officials of high ranks greeted her with glee, congratulating her on her success even though this was not an event of hers or an event thrown for her. It was Varrick's and Zhu Li's third wedding anniversary.
"Happy wedding anniversary to the both of you," she remembered smiling widely upon seeing the couple stride towards her, Varrick as lively as ever. "Do I sense myself becoming a godmother months later?"
Varrick laughed, with pure joy in his eyes. "Asami, you sure are great. You got that right, Sato!" Zhu Li welcomed her with a warm hug. She remembered, everything was just warm that day. "He's three months old now. Strong hold, says the doctor," Zhu Li said lovingly as she had her hands on her abdomen.
She remembered a very caring atmosphere in the party. "Asami, where's Korra?" The wife had said, a tinge of excitement in her voice. "Yeah, where is she? Can't wait to tell her her godmother status! Tenzin and his family have already returned!" Varrick exclaimed, loud enough for his wife to elbow him lightly.
Asami's eyes lit with joy, she felt so secure. 'Korra is here!' She remembered her heart pounding. 'After six long months she's finally home.'
"Are they here?" Asami grinned like an idiot, professionalism be damned, her lover's here. "Where are they?"
"Whoa slow down there, tiger shark!" Varrick put his hands up levelling his ears. "The party is still young so we haven't welcomed many guests yet. You're actually just the fourth one in this..." He motioned his hands to let her see the massive crowd. "...amount of people here!" Zhu Li smiled at Asami reassuringly. "I'm sure they're here, Asami. I mean, who would want to miss this?"
She remembered congratulating them again and excusing herself afterwards to find Korra. Her eyes kept darting here and there with the slightest of adrenaline, her nobility be preserved in the eyes of the public. Her legs doing quick aerobic walks inside the skirt of her gown while maintaining posture. It was hard work until she spotted familiar deep red and orange hues in a single set of garment. 'Tenzin.'
She remembered Ikki's gymnastics of facial expressions when the little airbender recognized her from the crowd as she was approaching them. "Asami's here!" Ikki had gleefully screamed, Meelo turned to see. "Beautiful lady!" He had commented. Jinora only smiled at her with the nobility of a bending master, she had Rohan in front of her, smiling as well. Not long after did Tenzin and Pema turn around and saw her, unexplainable expressions on their visage.
She remembered bowing down to hug both Ikki and Meelo who practically ran towards her. "It's nice to see you both so grown up," the young CEO smiled. "Ready to be airbending masters like your sister?"
"Jinora doesn't know what's coming at her!" Meelo exclaimed, fist pumping in the air. It earned him a playful roll of eyes from Ikki who just replied with, "pretty sure it's air." Asami remembered laughly softly at the kids' comedy and looking up when a tall shadow engulfed them.
"It's good to see you, Asami," Pema hugged her. "How are you?" Tenzin said, smiling.
She remembered telling them a very brief summary of what happened to Republic City and to Future Industries during their leave. "...and I am terribly missing Korra," she remembered sheepishly adding, eyes downcast.
"About that..." She remembered looking up and seeing Pema's apologetic look, her hand gentle on Asami's shoulder. "I'm afraid you won't see Korra until after a few months. She's in the Northern Air Temple with Opal," Tenzin said with an equal expression to his wife.
Jinora looked up to the young CEO. "Opal's been training really well. She asked Korra for extra lessons on airbending. I think she's going to master it by the end of the year," she told her softly. "I'm sorry, Asami."
She remembered replying a defeated sigh. She remembered not having letters from Korra nor having any reply for any of her letters sent to Korra. And now the Avatar is not even present. She was both sad and frustrated, but of course she wouldn't show it. Not in front of them.
She gave them a weary smile and politely excused herself, saying that she has investors to deal with. She remembered their smiles, smiles of pity. She hated feeling pity but now she just wanted to be left alone. There are no investors to deal with tonight. She remembered, she lied for the first time to Tenzin and his family.
Korra sighed for the umpteenth time, ocean blue irises turning to stormy gray. She was tired of crying, what's left of her are her defeated broken pieces of sanity. The city clock at Avatar Aang Memorial Island had just announced to the city the dawn of a new day. The present Avatar only looked at the city, guilt in her eyes. "I can protect the world from others, but I can't protect her from me."
"I have no right to be mad at her," she whispered. "This is all my fault."
Six months prior
"Master Tenzin," she remembered Opal bowing upon Tenzin's arrival. "I have studied all of there is to know about our culture and its history. You can test my memory."
"Very well, Opal," Tenzin gave the airbender a gentle smile. "Korra is right about you. You are very determined, just like your aunt."
"With less of the fury, Tenzin," she remembered herself chuckling as she approached them. "I'd say she's more like Suyin."
Tenzin nodded, "I suppose you're right, Korra. She is the mother after all."
She remembered Opal's focused expression, how she answered fluently and directly. She's just like Jinora, she recalled, only more stunning. She could get lost in those emerald eyes of hers and don't mind it at all. She remembered looking away, feeling the creeping hands of guilt and disgust tugging at her. She remembered feeling fear and confusion. She was afraid of what her thoughts could do. The Avatar left the temple with a pained expression, she knew these thoughts have been pestering her ever since she has been assigned with Opal's airbending training. There is no denying however, she knows that there is some kind of tension between her and her student.
She found herself sitting on a cliff. She tried keeping her mind busy by bending small tornados on her hands, rustling the nearby trees with small gusts of wind - anything to get her mind off of the green eyed airbender. She thought of Asami, of all the letters that she had received from her. How the nonbender had missed her, from the words of Asami, she knew that she had been longed terribly.
Korra found herself with nothing to write whenever she tries to reply, ink only wasted staining pristine parchments. She cannot lie to Asami, saying she was alright. Saying that she loved her still. She does but...
"Korra," a soft voice called for her. The Avatar did not bother to look up, she knows very well whose voice is it. "I have talked to Tenzin about mastering airbending. He said that I'm fortunate to have you as my mentor."
Opal took a sit beside her, arm snaking on Korra's own. "Especially at the offensive and dominating techniques," she added, slyness does not go unnoticed. Korra still had her head and eyes staring ahead, never wanting to look at Opal as she lays her head on the Avatar's shoulder.
"Bolin doesn't have to know," Opal whispered, ghosting her lips on Korra's jaw.
'Neither does Asami.' She knew she was weak.
Hours rolled like dragon turtles crossIng the sea shore for Asami, agonizingly slow. She remembered feeling guilty of the amount of glasses of alcohol that she has finished. Korra's absence fueled her temptation to just get herself drunk, to drown herself to sleep. To drown the thought as persistent as her temptation is, 'Does she still love me?'
The young CEO cannot help but think with suspicion. She cannot help but wonder what Korra and Opal would be doing when training is done for the day. She cannot help but wonder what other kinds of training would they be doing during the nights. 'No, Asami. Stop. Korra's loyal and Opal has Bolin.'
She kept saying that to herself, hoping to relieve her of her worries and suspicion. She remembered that it did not.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when someone approached her with a raspy voice, a gentle smile, and a waiting hand. "I cannot help but notice such a long face on a person of beauty." It was General Iroh of the United Forces, with all of his regality. His maroon uniform complementing her deep red evening gown. Asami found herself weak in his gold irises, somehow melting her like the element of his nation.
She found herself smiling at him, genuine and carefree. She found herself taking his waiting hand. She remembered being taken to the dance floor. She remembered feeling more alive than months ago. She remembered feeling safe in Iroh's arms.
Asami remembered Iroh with her for the past months, him sneaking to her place. She remembered feeling guilty. She remembered feeling drunk, but not in alcohol, but in someone else's embrace.
She remembered feeling the burning sensation in her loins, in her quarters, on her bed. It was not neighbouring nations that the Fire Nation royal was conquering - it was her body.
'Korra doesn't have to know.' She knew she was weak.
A/N: Thank you to all those who left their reviews! They make writers like me alive, breathing while typing down our stories :D