Chapter 3

Sophie pov

I left the hospital and went to Derek's. I knocked on the front door.

"Sophie….oh god is she okay" he asked me as I nodded.

"Then why are you crying" he asked me.

"It's over, I think it's really over" I cried as he let me in.

"Okay you gonna have to explain what happened" he said as I came and totally broke down. "Soph… come here babe" he said as he pulled me into a hug. I sobbed in his arms for what felt like hours, but really it was minutes.

"Come and sit down, do you want a brew" he asked as I nodded. "Sophie what happened" he asked me as I breathed in slowly.

"She's hurt and even now, now that she needs me, that she's hurt…. she doesn't want me, she said we were only married on paper. You should've seen her, she was in agony just by having me there, she begged me to go" I whimpered as he rubbed my back.

"Sophie that doesn't mean it's really over, she's hurt and you can't really blame her I mean the way you've…" he started saying.

"If I wanted a lecture I'd go to church okay…. I know it's all my fault, I know I hurt her so much, but I just…. I wanted to make it right" I interrupted him.

"Wanted?" he murmured as I looked at him and sighed.

"I don't think I can do it anymore, it's to tiring…. I think it might be best for both of us if I just moved on" I sighed as I felt the tears coming on again.

"Sophie you don't mean that, you love her" he stated as I sighed.

"Do I? I'm tired Derek, I don't think I have the strength to love somebody who hates me that much anymore" I stated as he scoffed.

"You don't have the strength, woaaw you've been fighting for this relationship for what? 6 months…. I can't believe you're giving up so easily" he uttered as I took a sip from my tea.

"Maybe I am, but I'm letting go… for good" I said to him as he sighed.

"Have you ever felt the way about anybody like you have with Sian" he asked me.

"No…. but then again I'm only 25… she was my first love…. And that's all she is right now, someone I loved" I stated as he was trying to argue with me. "Please just don't…. where are the kids" I sniffed.

"Upstairs" he answered quietly.

"Thanks for watching them…. Mind if I crash here?" I asked him as he smiled.

"You know where the spare room is" he stated as I smiled thankfully. After Sian left I had spent 2 weeks here.

"Thanks" I muttered as I got up to the room. I lay myself on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to erase the image of Sian in a hospital bed. I started drifting off after finally finding some peace.

"Hey baby I'm home" I whispered as I entered our bedroom.

"Hey" she replied as she glanced at the clock that read 22h36pm.

"Hey sorry I'm so late, I got caught up at the reception" I stated as she smiled.

"It's fine… just don't make a habit out of it, I want you in besides me when I go to sleep" she stated as I smirked.

"Really? Well I'm right here babe, for you and for the little one in here" I said as I kissed her gorgeous big stomach. "How are you feeling" I asked her.

"Uggh fed up, why can't she just come out…she's 3 days late" she moaned as I chuckled.

"It's not funny" She said angrily as I kissed her cheek.

"Babe it'll be fine" I said as I stroked her tummy.

"No it won't what if I she decides to spend her life in there and I stay a whale forever" she stated as I smiled.

"Oh babe she won't, she'll come out when she's ready and even if you would stay a whale, you are the most sexy whale I have ever seen" I said as her kissed my lips.

"Great" she huffed.

"I can't say anything right can I?" I stated as she sighed.

"Sorry" she replied as I smiled at me and snuggled into her.

"Don't be, you're allowed to be as grumpy and as emotional as much as you want" I stated as I kissed her neck.

…

"Soph….. SOPHIE!" I heard someone scream as I woke up.

"What? What is it, are you okay" I asked me as I saw her panicking.

"Soph I …I" she stuttered as she took my hand and put it on the bed sheet that was soaking wet.

"OMG did your water broke" I shouted.

"No Soph you just make me so wet OF COURSE MY WATER BROKE" she yelled at me.

"All right, okay come on" I hovered as I helped her up and she clutched her stomach

"SHIT….uggh… jesus this hurts" she yelled as she held on to my stomach.

"It's going to be okay babe, I'm right here I said as I held the bag we prepared.

….

"Jesus fuck me backwards uuuuuggghhh…. Oh god someone kill me now" she shouted as she clamped my hand. "God I am never letting you near me again" she shouted at me as another contraction came along. "What did I do? I didn't knock her up" I thought.

"Just one more push Sian you can do it" she stated.

"Come on baby, you can do this" I said to her as I kissed her forehead. She held her head up and pushed with all her forces as we heard a babies cry and she dropped down on the pillow. She let go of my hands as her body went limp and she let out a big sigh.

"…Sian, she's beautiful" I said to her as they wrapped her up in a blanket after I had cut the cord. "Look baby" I said holding the baby to her as I sat next to her, but she was having difficulty to keep her eyes open.

"Soph" she breathed as passed out.

"Sian baby wake up" I said as I held on to our daughter.

….

"SIAN" I screamed as I woke up. I was panting and sweating. "Great a fucking nightmare."I thought as I dropped myself down on my bed. I sighed. "Why did I dream about the night Lily was born" I thought as I got up and made my way to the kids' room. I entered it quietly as I made my way to Lily's bed. I sat on the side of the bed and watched her sleep. It had been more than two years since Lily was born it was one of best and scariest night of my life. It was the night I got Lily, but almost lost Sian, due to blood loss and a blood rush to her heart. God she was gorgeous, she had the same face, the same expressions Sian had. Like right now she was rolled up in a bundle, just like Sian does when she's sleeping very deeply. I smiled at the sight and turned my gaze to Matty. I noticed Math wasn't sleeping as he looked up at me with his big blue eyes.

"Math? Why aren't you asleep" I whispered as I went over to his bed.

"Is Sian okay?" he asked as I smiled.

"Yeah, she just broke her arm and has a nasty bump to the head….she'll be fine" I said to him.

"Will she come home?" he asked me as my smile faded.

"Math… you know Sian doesn't live with us anymore" I said to him as he nodded sadly. "Look I know you miss her, but she'll be fine and you'll see her in a couple of days yeah?" I said to him as he hugged me. I breathed in his smell.

"I miss you too mum" he stated.

"I'm right here" I replied as he scoffed.

"No you're not, you never are" he said loudly.

"Shhhh your sister is sleeping…. What do you mean… I haven't had a foreign job in months" I said to him as he shrugged.

"Doesn't matter" he said as he went to ly down and I sighed.

"Look tell you what…. why don't I take you to the playground tomorrow after school" I said to him.

"Can't, I have soccer practice" he answered as I sighed.

"Okay, we could cook a nice dinner together won't that be fun" I asked him as he smiled.

"Yeah it would if Sian would be there too" he answered.

"Math…" I sighed.

"I know, she can't be there…. But I still wish she would" he said to me as I nodded. "Me too" I thought.

"Go to bed baby you've got school in the morning" I said to him as he closed his eyes.

…

Sian pov

She kissed my lips gently as I couldn't hold in the sob that was dying to come out. Why is she doing this to me, god those lips…. no I can't.

"I'll back off for good this time" she stated as relief and hurt washed over me. I needed her to stay away, my heart couldn't handle it anymore.

"Thank you" I whispered as she left the room. Once she was out of sight I started sobbing, I was so angry with myself and with her. At least she'd stay away… for a while.

"Ah Sian…. Good to see you awake" my doctor said as he walked in. "Did your wife leave all ready" he asked as I nodded.

"She's not well she is my wife, but we're separated" I stated as the doctor nodded.

"Okay well you can go home tomorrow, your x-rays look good" he smiled as I thanked him. He left the room and I dropped my head down and looked at the sealing as I started drifting off.

…

I got home to an empty and dark apartment.

"Hello" someone said in the dark as I screamed.

"Stay away I have pepper spray and I'm not afraid to use it" I said holding a can of hairspray in the air.

"No you don't "he chuckled, the voice seemed familiar as he stepped in the light and revealed Derek. I sighed in relief and chucked away the hairspray

"Fuck sakes Derek, what are you trying to do send me back to the hospital for a heart attack" I asked angrily.

"I'm sorry" he said genuinely as I sighed.

"What are you doing here anyways" I asked him as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"Well your wife crashed at my house again 2 days ago and I was worried about you" he stated.

"Ex-wife" I huffed as he snorted at me.

"Really so you're divorced are you" he snapped as I frowned.

"No… not yet…. Look I dunno what this has got anything to do with why you're here" I stated as he laughed at me.

"Sian… you've got to remember it's me, I've known you even before you met Sophie… you can't fool me okay, you're hurting I can see that" he stated as sighed.

"Yeah and what else is new, I've been hurting for a year now" I stated as he sighed.

"I know…. All I'm saying is don't rush into things… do you really want to get a divorce" he asked as I shrugged.

"I…." I started saying but was interrupted by the phone.