Title: Headhunters
(Authors note: Here we go, Headhunters! This wasn't so different from the original, though I did have trouble with how exactly the Wax figures would "haunt" Ford, since this man doesn't have proper sleeping hours. I suppose Ford just bought them for the heck of it, the "re-opening" is under Dipper's influence. The next chapter is going to be extremely fun to write, though. Anyway, enjoy!)
Kingdom Hearts Slayer - Thank you!
atom king - Thanks as well! I was afraid not many people would like the direction it was going in, especially since it was a mirror off canon. There are plenty of original takes on here and their absolutely amazing, I just wanted to do the series but replaced by the setting/characters. I'm glad you enjoy how it's going!
For the record, Not What He Seems and up will be where the originality comes in. The next episodes after (including how Weirdmageddon comes to pass) will be slightly different, and Mabel/Dipper's relationship will be far more tested. Not just with the apprenticeship, but I'm really going to extend the argument between them, which leads into Weirdmageddon (and the stakes will be way higher.) Also, Dipper's fear of them turning out like Stan/Ford is far more of an issue here, expect that along the way. Regardless, I want to keep as close to canon as I possibly can.
Hikari Ino - Thank you! I definitely plan on continuing this until I reach the end. :)
Anon (whom asked in private) - Yep! The idea to add in the Cipher codes after actually came from this fic (s/11664131/3/Relativity-Falls-AU-Season-One) from Relativity Falls, I recommend you check it out! It's actually where I got the inspiration to start this in the first place. I love Gravity Rises, so why not? I still need to read some of the other Gravity Rises related fics on here though, they sound awesome.
Also, stuck in another dimension or not, Ford will never learn about modern technology nor if it's safe to give children weapons. That's a fact, lmao.
"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident."
Mabel and Dipper were fast away watching the television, Mabel munching on some of the popcorn as Dipper knitted his new shirt, both mesmerized by the show. The two had recently discovered the Gravity Rises exclusive series, and although the rest of the channel was filled with rubbish, the new show by the name Duck-tective was the best one they've seen yet. As Dipper took a break from knitting to reach in for some popcorn, Mabel slapped his hand, preventing him from grabbing some. Her orthodontics had already warned the girl that she shouldn't eat food such as popcorn due to her braces, but it was too good to pass up.
A white duck dressed up in a green-plaid hat walked up to the constable, quacking as the subtitles appeared beneath him.
"An accident, constable? Or is it...Murder?!" The subtitles read.
"What?!"
"Duck-tective will return after these messages." The TV voice-over played, as the screen froze and cut to commercials.
Dipper immediately dropped the shirt he was knitting, staring at the TV in awe, placing his hands on his cheeks.
"That duck is a genius!" Dipper exclaimed, as Mabel crossed her arms and snorted.
"Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground." Mabel commented, leaning her elbow against the living room chair.
"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" Dipper asked, narrowing his eyes as he placed his hands on his hips.
"Dipper, I have very keen powers of observation." Mabel commented, pointing to her head as she leaned back forwards, "For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating...an entire tube of toothpaste?!" She ended, sniffing the air as she gave her brother a confused look.
Dipper turned away in shame, blue sparkling toothpaste circling around his mouth. "It was so sparkly..." He commented, clasping his hands together.
"Hey guys, you'll never guess what I found!"
The twins snapped their heads upwards, seeing Melody run into the hallway outside of the living room, holding a broom in her hand, a wide smile across her face.
"Buried treasure!" Mabel exclaimed, pumping both her fists into the air.
"Buried-" Dipper began immediately after, laughing as he shoved his sister playfully, "Hey, I was gonna say that!"
The three walked down a darkened hallway, as Dipper clung onto Mabel's shoulder, Melody leading the way.
"So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy!" Melody explained, stopping in front of a door which had torn wallpaper on top of it, now ripped after Melody had entered earlier.
Melody slowly opened the door, a creaking noise emitting from it. Dipper slightly hid behind Mabel in fear, as cobwebs fell from between the door, tons of wax figures now laid out in their view ahead of them.
"Whoa! It's a secret wax museum!" Mabel whispered, pulling a flashlight out of her coat as she flicked it on, analyzing the dusty sculptures.
"They're so life-like." Dipper commented, walking up as he brushed his hands on a wax-figure of Sherlock Holmes.
"Except for that one." Mabel commented, pointing her flashlight at the stomach of an all-too familiar red sweater and beige lab coat, black belt strapped right across the chest.
"Hello!" A voice said, it's arm raising up.
Mabel backed up, as Dipper, Melody, and her all screamed in response. She lifted her flashlight towards the face, revealing that it was only Ford.
"Now, it's just me, your Great Uncle Ford." Ford assured them, apparently not bothered by the light that was flashing in his face.
Unfortunately, that was enough the scare the trio, and the three all screamed bloody murder as Mabel dropped the flashlight and ran off with Melody and Dipper, who clung onto each other for their dear lives.
"Behold the Gravity Rises Wax Museum!" Ford exclaimed, widening his arms in front of the wax figures, walking forward through the columns of them, "I bought them several years ago at an old garage sale. I have them all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, Larry King..."
Mabel shuddered, sticking out her tongue in disgust. " Is anyone else getting the creeps here?" She asked, looking around at all the different figures.
"And now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln, right over-" Ford exclaimed, pointing at a blob of wax on the floor, the sunlight shining through the window above it. Ford stared at the pile of goo on the floor, simply face-palming out of annoyance.
Mabel and Dipper both walked over as he bent down, scooping up some wax with his finger, "How do you even fix a wax figure?" He asked, sighing.
"Cheer up, Grunkle Ford. Where's that smile?" Dipper asked, clinging onto his back as Ford rolled his eyes.
"Egh." Ford responded, as Dipper began to repeatedly poke him, making "beep" noises as he did, accidentally poking him in his eye. Ford simply responded with a mundane "ow," getting up from his spot.
"Don't worry, Grunkle Ford. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!" Dipper exclaimed, as Ford smiled at him.
"Hm. You really think you can sculpt one of these?" Ford asked.
"Grunkle Ford, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" Dipper responded, holding out his right arm that did in fact have a glue gun stuck to it, attempting to shake it off.
"Hm." Ford commented, as he tapped his finger on his chin, smiling as he faced Dipper, "I was quite a skilled craftsman myself when I was your age. Glad to see it runs in the family."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, but thank you!" Dipper responded, smiling wide.
Dipper sat in his wooden stool, focusing as he added finishing touches to his drawing. Laid out in front of him was the melted wax, including many sculpting materials. Behind him, Mabel paced back and fourth, occasionally taking sips from her soda.
"Mabel!" He exclaimed, hoping in front of his sister. His sudden action startled her, as she began to cough uncontrollably, dropping her soda. "What do you think of my wax figure idea?"
He turned his sketchpad towards her, revealing a drawing of a creature he'd created. "It's part hockey player, and part horse hockey player!" He exclaimed.
Mabel nodded, but wasn't convinced. "Mmm..maybe you should carve something from real life." Mabel commented, looking at the drawing.
Dipper flipped the page, and began scribbling out another drawing, turning it to show it to his sister. "Like a waffle, with big arms!" He responded, smiling.
"Y-okay... Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family." Mabel answered, rubbing her arm as another voice triggered her to turn around.
"Children, have you seen my labcoat?" Ford announced, sure enough only in his red sweater with the black belt strapped across it. He stepped on the briefcase posing, as the light from above reflected on him, in a spotlight fashion. Seeing this, Dipper eyes brightened up, as he turned around, Mabel watching him with a knowing look.
"Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways." He whispered, looking upward
"Why is your brother talking to the ceiling?" Ford asked, raising his eyebrow up at Mabel.
"I think... it needs more shine."
Dipper stepped backward, admiring his masterpiece he had sculpt over the passed few days. The sweat rolled from his forehead to his cheek, as he casually wiped it away, narrowing his eyes at the wax figure in front of him.
"Agreed." Melody nodded, handing Dipper a bucket of blue glitter. Dipper took the bucket and completely tossed it on the wax figure, it shimmering as it was now covered in all-blue powder.
A few minutes later, Ford came walking into the room, holding a blue book as he repeatedly clicked the button on the pen, turning it on and off. "I found my labcoat, but now I can't figure out this-"
The man glanced apprehensively upward, the wax-figure in plain view of his sight. He immediately stopped dead in his tracks, dropping the book and stuttering backward, heavily gasping as he processed the all-too-familiar face in front of him. He laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling as he gasped for air.
"What do you think?" Dipper asked, his hands clasped as he, Melody, and Mabel all closed in around Ford.
Ford raised his eyebrow up at his great nephew, before smiling and sitting upward.
"My boy, I think we just might have a new idea to add to the museum."
Cars flooded the Shack's parking lot, as Melody directed another batch of cars forwards with corn dogs, occasionally taking bites from the rather delicious snacks she was holding. Laid out at the side of the shack were tons of chairs, including a stage with a white sheet over a strange shape. Ford ultimately decided to showcase his great nephews work by using his reputation the throw a small event, and even though it seemed slightly extreme, he figured at least he could get some profit from it, and more importantly, appeal more the kids.
"I can't believe this many people showed up." Mabel exclaimed, watching the cars continue to drive in, awe on her face. She sat beside Robbie, as the two were running the admission stand together.
"I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something." Robbie responded, facing the girl.
"He bribed me." Mabel answered, holding up a dollar as Robbie proceeded to do the same. Seeing this, the two started snickering, as Ford tapped the microphone, standing on-stage with Dipper. Dipper papped his cheeks in excitement, staring ahead at the now-filled crowd.
"Hello, citizens of Gravity Rises." He greeted them. While Ford seemed pretty collected, Dipper noticed he was indeed sweating. For someone who had a job that required talking to people often, Ford was a rather awkward speaker. "Thank you for coming today. As you already know, I often study the paranormal activity that occurs in this very town. Instead, I have something different to showcase today. Created by my own great-nephew himself, I present..."
Ford tore of the white-sheet, revealing an incredibly realistic wax-sculpture of himself, "his own wax-sculpture!"
Dipper smiled as he stared at his masterpiece shimmering in the afternoon sunlight, as the crowd oohed and aahed at it. No doubt, Dipper was an excellent craftsman as he promised.
"And now a word from my great nephew, Dipper Pines." Ford smiled, as he handed the microphone to Dipper.
"It's Dipper." Dipper responded, smiling as he walked closer to the edge of the stage.
"Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands!" Dipper exclaimed, throwing up his arms upward as the microphone screeched slightly. He strained his voice to be longer then it was, and more exaggerated, "It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!"
The crowd twitched in disgust, muttering among themselves. Dipper chuckled at the response, looking to the side.
"Heheh, yeah. I will now take questions!" He announced, pointing his finger at the same crazy old man they saw a few days ago, the one who put them through the whole Gobblewonker mess in the first place. "You there!"
"Old Man McGucket, local kook." The man introduced himself, sitting upward, "Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"
"UUm..." Dipper answered, staring downward in confusion, before blurting out his answer, "Yes! Next question!"
Dipper pointed to a rather hideous-looking man, who held up a turkey baster in a microphone fashion, turning his newspaper to Dipper, his eyebrows lowered in a rather disapproving manner, "Toby Determined, Gravity Rises Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?"
Before Dipper could respond, Ford interrupted. "Your microphone is a turkey baster, Toby." He answered, leveling the man with the same expression of annoyance.
"It certainly is-" The man answered, looking down in sorrow as Ford interrupted him."Next question." He announced, with barley any enthusiasm in his voice.
"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter." The woman exclaimed, facing Toby before looking back up at Ford, as she held out a flyer, "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?"
The citizens began chattering among themselves, and suddenly it clicked. No wonder so many townsfolk showed up. Ford left Dipper to print the flyers, and he'd added a promise of free pizza on them. Unfortunately, they were out of any pizza for that matter, and it was too late to order any regardless.
Ford raised his eyebrow at Dipper, before sighing as he faced the audience, "Unfortunately, there was a slight misunderstanding between communication, and therefore I am sorry to announce there will not be any free pizza, nor any pizza at all." He exclaimed, as Dipper awkwardly smiled in embarrassment.
The audience arose from their seats angrily, talking among themselves as they cleared out. A portly man with a coat reading "free pizza" sighed, getting up from his chair as he disappointedly walked away. Another woman in a pink shirt began aggressively breaking a few chairs, as a red-haired buff-man holding an axe punched the wood-post, screaming "In your face!" before walking away.
Robbie and Mabel cringed as they watched the angry citizens all leave, as Dipper joined beside them, leaning his arm on the table. "I think that went well." He exclaimed, staring ahead with a smile.
The glowing moon lingered directly above the shack in the night sky, the trees chittering as they gently blowed in the ice-cold wind. Fog extended around the lower part of the building in strokes, a faint light coming from the living room window, the only source of light that could be seen through kilometers of pine trees. The light reflected on the packed snow that covered the ground on the outside, which dazzled in response to it's glow.
Inside, Mabel, Dipper and Ford were sure enough occupying the living room. Mabel read from a green book as she sat on the coffee table, as Dipper wiped his wax figure to keep in clean. Ford counted the money, before turning to face the twins.
"Remarkable! Your wax figure was able to collect more cash then I could've on my own." He commented, as he turned to face Dipper, "I owe it all to you, my boy." He began gently rubbing Dipper's head, as Dipper stuck his tongue out in response, smiling.
"Now you kids get yourselves some rest. We have another long day of work tomorrow."
"Good night, Great Uncle Ford." Mabel commented, hopping down from the coffee table as she followed Dipper past him, heading upstairs.
"Good night, children." He responded, slightly waving as the twins fully walked out of his view. He stared at the wax figure, biting his lip slightly, walking out of the room as he headed for the bathroom.
The winter wind picked up outside, an arctic wolf being heard howling in the distance. The weather vane on top of the shack slightly screeched in response, slightly turning. Meanwhile, the upstairs bathroom window was wide open, the wind roaring through as it upturned the curtains. Mabel and Dipper were both fast brushing their teeth, staring at the mirror.
"Mabel, you wanna do a toothbrush race?" Dipper asked, taking the toothbrush out of his mouth.
"Okay." Mabel responded, the paste muffling her voice. Suddenly, a yell could be heard from downstairs, calling the twins to come down. Mabel and Dipper rushed downward, stopping at the doorway, where Ford was shockingly staring beneath him.
"Ur, kids?" He exclaimed, pointing at it, "did... one of you do this?"
Sure enough, lying on the floor was the wax figure of Ford, it's head cut clean off.
Mabel and Dipper stared in shock for a few second, before Dipper fainted, Mabel catching him.
"I leave for a few minutes to use the bathroom, and then I get back, and it's headless." Ford exhaustively explained to the police man, who nodded as the other took notes. Ford personally thought the idea of calling the cops over a wax figure was ridiculous, but Dipper was practically having a nervous breakdown, and someone must have broken in and done it. The thought of an intruder breaking into the house was already enough to shift Ford uneasy.
"My expert handcrafting... besmirched." Dipper commented, patting where the head used to be, before crying once again. "Besmiiiirrrched!"
The tears welled up in eyes as he placed his hands over them, as Mabel leaned in and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Who would do something like this?" Mabel asked them, as the tall police man looked over to the other.
"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs?" He asked
Sheriff Blubs rose his eyebrow, and faced the family, "Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable."
"What?!" The family screamed in unison, as Mabel spoke up, shrugging. "You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want." Mabel exclaimed, rubbing the back of her hair.
"She's really good. She figured out who was eating our tin cans!" Dipper exclaimed, as Mabel looked at him in gratitude.
"All signs pointed to the goat." She responded.
"Yeah, let the girl help." Ford commented, facing the police man, "she's a very bright kid, if I do say so myself."
Sheriff Blubs nudged the taller police man, who appeared to be staring at the family in annoyance. "Oooh! Would you look at what we got here!" Sheriff Blubs exclaimed, swaying his hips slightly, "City girl thinks she's gonna solve a mystery with her fancy computer phone!"
"City girrrrl! City girrrrrrl!" The taller police man chanted, as Sheriff Blubs leaned in, "You are adorable."
"Adorable?" Mabel asked in confusion, as the two started laughing. Mabel scowled in anger, twitching her eyes as she clenched her fists.
"Look, little girl, how about you leave the investigating to the men, okay?" He continued, leaning his hand to high five his partner. Suddenly, a voice came from their walkie-talkie, triggering them to both flinch.
"Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!" The speaker exclaimed, as the two police officers looked at eachother in excitement.
"It's a 23-16!" The tall police man exclaimed.
"Let's move!" Blubs responded, as the two ran off, laughing.
Mabel stared in anger as the two police man left the house, turning to her brother, placing her hand on his shoulder. "That's it! Dipper, you and me are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable." She exclaimed, glaring back. Immediately after Mabel had finish her sentence, she sneezed softly, prompting her brother to smile wide.
"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!" He elaborated, as Mabel turned and gave him a murder glare.
Toilet paper reading the words "DO NOT CROSS" in crimson red were tattered all over the living room, a wooden board of pictures of various townsfolk in the middle. Mabel and Dipper were in the center of it all, the headless Ford figure lying on the ground. Dipper took pictures, as Mabel stood in front of the suspect board.
"Wax Ford has lost his head and its up to us to find it." Mabel commented, narrowing her eyes as she turned towards the board. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling. The murderer could have been anyone." She tapped her chin, as her brother gasped and looked upward, following her comment.
"Yeah! Even us!" He exclaimed.
Mabel reached for her coat as she pulled out the journal, and began flipping through pages. "In this town, anything is possible. Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue."
"Hey, look! A clue."
Mabel snapped her head upwards, her eyes following in the direction her brother was pointing. Sure enough, there were large footprints in the shag carpet, each with a hole in them.
"Footprints in the shag carpet!" Mabel exclaimed, as Dipper looked closer.
"That's weird. They've got a hole in them." He commented.
"And they're leading to..." Mabel elaborated, following the trail to behind the living room chair. Sure enough, the girl gasped as Dipper leaned in, an ax peeking from behind the couch. The twins looked at each other, eyes widened.
Melody examined the ax as Mabel and Dipper stood beside her, Dipper's eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms, while Mabel remained with a serious expression.
"So, what do you think?" Mabel asked, as Melody narrowed her eyes closer and turned the ax in a different position.
"In my opinion: this is an ax." She responded, just as Dipper's eyes widened with realization. "Wait a minute. The lumberjack!" He exclaimed, as his sister turned to face him.
"Of course!" The twins exclaimed in unison, clearly remembering that the lumberjack whom punched the post was holding an ax at the time.
"He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza." Mabel exclaimed, as she tapped her hand with her other finger for effect.
"Furious enough, for murder!" Dipper elaborated, shaking his fist.
"Oh, you mean Manly Dan. Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown." Melody continued, as Dipper further narrowed his eyes.
"Then that's where we're going." He exclaimed.
"Dude, this is awesome. You two are like: The Mystery Twins!" Melody exclaimed, as Mabel looked up at the woman with an wide-eyed expression.
"Don't call us that." She asked.
Heading for the shack's door, the two hopped off the porch and passed by Ford, who appeared to be struggling as he hooked up a wire. He appeared to be fixing a ghost-detector, or at least Mabel and Dipper perceived he was.
"Kids!" He called out to them, not even looking upward, "can one of you give me a hand with this?"
"Sorry, Grunkle Ford, but we have got a big break in the case!" Mabel exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air.
"Break in the case!" Dipper followed, throwing his own arms upward as Mabel continued on.
"We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer." Mabel commented, as Dipper took the ax out of her backpack.
"We have an axe! REE, REE, REE!" Dipper exclaimed, moving the ax in a cutting motion.
"Hmm..." Ford commented, tapping his chin as he faced the kids, "I haven't dealt with children in awhile, it's alright to hand them weapons, right? Eh, go have fun."
Dipper rose his head out of a garbage bin, as Mabel pulled out a small card from her coat, hiding at the side of it. The two were in front of a hang-out joint, a buff man guarding the entrance.
"This is the place." She muttered, leaning over to the side. Upon the guard turning around, she gasped, rapidly swinging her body back behind the wall.
"Got the fake IDs?" Mabel asked, looking up at her brother whom leaned his hand out, handing her a small white card.
"Here goes nothing." She exclaimed, staring at it.
The buff guard stared at the white ID, before handing it to the person beneath him. "Sorry, but we don't serve miners." He announced.
"Daaaannnnng'nab it!" The miner exclaimed back, spitting on the ground as he walked off onto the icy road. Just after, Mabel and Dipper walked up, their ID's held out in a sophisticated fashion.
"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumber jack for the murder of wax Ford." Dipper announced, as he shook his card. The guard looked at them, before raising his eyebrow as he opened the door.
"Works for me." He answered.
Mabel and Dipper walked in, cringing as they watched several men beat each other up, drink, and overall just cause trouble. Far more smaller compared to the other men in there, Mabel lead the way as the two made through the crowd, hopping over one man whom was unconscious on the ground.
"He's resting." Dipper smiled, looking at the unconscious man.
"Alright, let's just try to blend in, ok?" Mabel asked, walking forward as Dipper pointed to her.
"You got it, Mabeleon." He exclaimed, facing upward as he hopped onto one of the bars chairs, sitting beside one man with a large tattoo reading "Biker."
"Hey there, fellow restaurant patron!" He exclaimed, as he tapped the man in the arm, triggering him to growl, "bap!"
Mabel quickly approached Manly Dan, who appeared to be playing an arm wrestling game at the far end of the bar. Upon seeing the girl approach, he quickly scowled, as Mabel immediately began to scold him.
"Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see. Where were you last night?" Mabel asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Punchin' the clock." He bitterly responded, as Mabel rose up her eyebrow.
"You were at work." She reasoned, as Dan rose up his finger and pointed to the nearest window.
"No, I was punchin' that clock!" He exclaimed. Mabel turned her head, sure enough seeing a broken clock in clear view, right through the window.
"10 o'clock, the time of the murder." Mabel elaborated, scratching her forehead, as she pulled off her backup and took out the ax, "So, I guess you've never seen this before?"
"Listen little girl!" The man growled, as he pointed his finger at the ax, "I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax. It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!"
Upon his scream, Mabel backed up as he tore the arm on the machine clean off, and repeatedly began punching it. Another man approached, cheering him on.
"Get 'im! Get 'im!" He giggled.
Mabel held the ax out before her, staring at it. "Left handed..." She noted.
Meanwhile, Dipper and the man he aggravated earlier appeared to be playing a game of cootie catcher, as they counted aloud.
"3, 4, 5, 6." The two exclaimed, as Dipper opened it up and gasped. The man leaned in, his hands on his mouth.
"Your wife is gonna be beautiful." Dipper announced, reading the words as he opened up the flap on number 6. The man leaned backward, fist pumping.
"Yes!" He exclaimed in happiness, just as Mabel ran up to the two.
"Dipper, big break in the case!" Mabel announced, as Dipper hopped off the chair and followed her twin out the door.
"But will she love me?!" The man asked, watching as the twins left.
"It's a left handed ax." Mabel commented, as she and Dipper walked down the worn sidewalk, passed the broken clock. She held a notepad out in front of her, where she had scribbled down a chart of all the suspects, including boxes with headings reading "left" or "right." She quickly checked of Manly Dan as right, as she faced her brother, "These are all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed, that means all we have to do is find our left handed suspect and we've got our killer."
"Oh man, we are on fire today!" Dipper exclaimed, raising up his arms as he began pumping the air, "Pa-zow, Pa-zow, Pa-zow!"
"Let's find that murderer." Mabel announced, determination on her face. She stopped to face her brother, as two brofisted.
After hours of testing different townsfolk to find out which hand they used, Mabel reviewed the data, before gasping as she showed it to her brother.
"Dipper, there's only one person left on this list." She gasped.
"Of course, it all adds up!" Dipper exclaimed, looking at the chart once again.
Police sirens whined as the red and blue lights reflected off the scratched windows of a house, as Mabel, Dipper, Sheriff Blubs, and his partner from earlier all ran up to the door.
"You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it." Blubs announced, as he approached the door.
"The evidence is irrefutable." Mabel responded, as her twin spoke up.
"It's so irrefutable." Dipper added, swaying his arms.
"I gonna get to use my match stick!" The tall police man exclaimed, prompting Blubs as the two excitedly began poking each other with their police batons. After everybody calmed down and was ready, Mabel counted down.
"On 3! 1, 2, ..."
Just before she said three, the tall police man kicked open the door, as the other held out his flashlight in a gun-manner.
"Nobody move! This is a raid!" Blubs announced, shining the flashlight on a man whom had stumbled off his chair
And the man was nobody other the Toby Determined.
"Aaaahh! What is this? Some kind of raid?" He asked, stumbling on the ground. Just as he finished his sentence, the taller police man knocked down his lamp, as Mabel and Dipper walked up to him.
"Toby Determined, you're under arrest for murder of the wax body of Grunkle Ford." Mabel announced, pointing to him.
"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work." Dipper added, as the two twins smiled and high-fived each other.
"Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!" Toby pleaded in response.
"Then allow me to explain. You were hoping that Grunkle Ford's new showcase would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught left handed." Mabel announced, as Dipper held out a newspaper from the Gravity Rises Gossiper, wax Ford's head on front.
"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Dipper snickered, crumbling the newspaper as he tossed it behind him.
"Boy, you're little knees must be sore... from jumping to conclusions." Toby responded, doing a small dance, "I had nothing to do with that murder."
"I knew it! Wait, what did you say? Nothing? You say nothing?" Mabel exclaimed, as her Dipper began mumbling among themselves. Suddenly, Sheriff Blubs spoke up, breaking the conversation.
"Then where were you at the night of the break-in?" Blubs asked, as Toby pulled on his collar nervously. He grabbed a tape from off his bed, inserting it into the TV. The tape played, the time at the top reading "10:00pm." It showed Toby opening his closet, pulling out a cardboard cut out of Shandra Jimenez. He began making out with it, as the twins and officers watched in disgust, clearly disturbed.
"Time state confirms. Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature." Blubs announced, as Toby cheered in response.
"But, but it has to be him! Check the ax for fingerprints!" Mabel exclaimed, as the officers pulled out the black light and began dusting it.
"No prints at all." Blubs exclaimed, looking upward.
"No prints?" Mabel muttered, hand on her forehead as she twitched her eye.
"Hey I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time." The tall officer exclaimed, pointing to twins as they all started laughing. Mabel and Dipper both looked away in embarrassment, Mabel rubbing her head as Dipper rubbed his arm.
"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two." Toby exclaimed, the tape still playing behind him.
Mabel and Dipper sat in the dusty parlor, the other wax figures around them as Melody and Ford set them up. The headless wax Ford was seen lying on the ground in the corner, as they both sighed looking at it.
"Kids, its alright. I'm not upset." He announced, walking towards Mabel and Dipper, whom were still upset about earlier. "I think you guys did great. You took in account everything."
Mabel mustered a weak smile, but she still didn't feel proud. Ford walked out of the room as he smiled back, Melody following, as she waved the twins goodbye.
Mabel sighed, slouching down her chair more, "Those cops are right about me."
"Mabel, we've come so far, we can't give up now." Dipper announced, as Mabel hopped off her chair and walked towards wax Ford, "But I considered every thing: the weapon, the motive, the clues..." She stopped and sighed, her eyes landing on his shoes.
"Wax Ford's shoe has a hole in it..." She muttered, as Dipper walked beside her.
"All the wax guys have that. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy." He elaborated, just as Mabel's eye's widened in shock.
"Wait a minute, what has a hole on its shoe and no fingerprints?" Mabel announced, leaning in as she frantically whispered to her brother, "Dipper! The murderers are-"
"Standing right behind you."
The twins both froze in shock, turning around, revealing Wax Sherlock Holmes slowly walking up to them. All the the other wax figures emerged to life, as Mabel gasped.
"Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?" Mabel elaborated, looking at each of them.
"Wha s'up Holmes?" Wax Coolio greeted.
Wax Lizzie Borden walked up to Dipper, prying the ax out of his hands.
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Dipper exclaimed, twitching his eye as he hid behind his sister in fear.
"Congratulations, my two amuetur slueths, you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you." Wax Holmes announced, pointing his magnifying glass at the twins in a threatening position. Dipper's grasp on Mabel tightened, as the two squirmed more into the back wall out of fear.
"Bravo, Mabel Pines. You've discovered our little secret." Wax Holmes continued, taking the wax Ford's head out of his cape, " Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically."
The wax figures began clapping, as Wax Holmes stopped them. "Uh, no that sounds too sincere. Slow clap. There we go, nice and condescending."
"But... how is this possible? You're made of wax!" Mabel sputtered, as Dipper brightened up in excitement.
"Are you... magic?" Dipper asked, as Wax Holmes began laughing.
"Are we magic? He wants to know if we're magic!" Wax Holmes exclaimed, stopping as he smashed his hand next to their head's, leaning inward.
"We're CURSED!" He bellowed, as the other figures began chanting.
"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale." Wax Holmes pondered, as he flash-backed to the memory.
"I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price." The seller exclaimed, rubbing his head as the sweat poured down it. The man was hosting a garage sale, beside his rather haunted-looking house. It wasn't a doubt that Ford would've been the only one brave enough to march up the grave-yard filled hill. Instead of finding spirits like he planned, he ended up coming across an eccentric man who was trying to sell his items.
"Cursed wax figures?" He narrowed his eyes, staring at the label in excitement. "Magnificent! I'll just take them when you're not looking."
"Wha?"
"I said I was going to take them when you weren't looking." Ford shrugged, repeating his sentence slower. "You're being too paranoid and keep warning me about buying them."
"The minute your uncle bought us, he seemingly forgot, and immediately locked us up on the same day." Wax Holmes continued, "We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Ford for locking us away... but we got the wrong guy."
"So, you're trying to murder Grunkle Ford for real?!" Mabel exclaimed, eyes widened in fear.
"You were right all along, Mabel! Wax people are creepy!" Dipper exclaimed, facing his sister.
"Enough!" Wax Holmes announced, staring at the fire place in front of him, "now that you know our secret, you must... die."
Upon ending his sentence, each wax figure rolled it's eyes backwards, mumbling as they slowly approached the twins. Mabel and Dipper both backed up in fear, banging into the table.
"What do we do, what do we do?" Dipper asked, panicking.
"I don't know!" Mabel responded, as she turned her head. Seeing items on the table behind her, her and Dipper frantically began grabbing everything they could, rapidly throwing them at the wax figures.
The only item left being a coffee pot, Mabel frantically grabbed it, tossing some of the coffee out. The coffee hit Wax Genghis Khan, melting him upon impact.
"That's it! We can melt them with hotty melty things!" Dipper elaborated, looking at the coffee. The twins then grabbed the two candles behind them, holding them up in a sword fashion, scaring the wax figures.
"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles!" Mabel announced, as her and Dipper approached the wax figures, them stuttering back in response.
"Decorative candles!" Dipper added.
"You really think you can defeat us?" Wax Holmes answered, as the twins began shrugging, making 50/50 signs.
"I-I don't really know. I'm not-I'm not really sure." Mabel responded, in unison with Dipper.
"It's worth a shot, I guess." Dipper agreed.
"So be it... attack!" Wax Holmes bellowed, signaling the wax figures to charge at Mabel and Dipper. The twins begin slicing several wax figures, decapitating them all. Taking Dipper by surprise, Wax Shakespeare raised up his disembodied arm immediately after Dipper had cut it off, strangling him. The boy backed up choking, repeatedly opening and shutting the door behind him, trying to get the wax figure's arm off his neck by banging it's hand with the door.
"Interview this, Larry King!" Mabel exclaimed, slicing his head of his body. Suddenly, Wax Genghis Khan ran towards Mabel, taking her by surprise. Mabel leaped out of the way, as Genghis ran straight into the fire place.
"Ha, Genghis Khan! You fell harder than the... uh... I don't know, uh, Qin Dynasty? Heh. Yeah. Alright. " Mabel exclaimed, getting up as she ran back into the fight.
Dipper spun Wax Coolio's head in circles, as several wax figures approached him. Coolio's head smashed into all of them, knocking them all out.
"What's up with that?" Coolio asked, as Dipper called to his sister in shock.
"Mabel, watch out!" Dipper yelled, as Wax Holmes approached her.
"Alright. Let's get this taken care of." Wax Holmes announced, taking a sword which was hanging on the wall. With one swing, he knocked Mabel's candle out of her hands, frightening her.
"Catch!" Dipper frantically yelled, tossing Mabel a poker. Mabel began sword-fighting Wax Holmes, deflecting his attacks as the two walked into the attic. With no other way to go, Mabel was cornered into the wall, Holmes about to stab her.
"Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more!" He roared, as Mabel noticed a window next to her, the sun slightly rising.
"Don't count on it!" She retorted, narrowly missing the impact by somersaulting underneath his legs. She hopped for the window, prying it open, Holmes close behind.
"Come back here, you brat!" He yelled out to her, as she hopped onto the shack's sign. Wax Sherlock followed, as the two once again begin squaring off. In attempts to hit Mabel, he once again accidentally hit the ground, knocking the "S" off the sign of the shack.
"You really think you can outwit girl? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!" Wax Holmes yelled, as Mabel hopped higher up, to the other side of the shack. Sliding down the shingles, she hid behind the chimney, gasping for air.
Taking her by surprise, Wax Holmes then approached, kicking her stomach-first backwards. She landed at the edge of the roof, nearly falling off.
"Any last words?" Holmes asked, raising up his sword, Mabel lying on the ground beneath him.
"Um... you got any sunscreen?"
"Got any-? What?" He asked, seeing himself start to melt. He looked upward and gasped, seeing the sun rise above the trees.
"No."
"You know, letting me lead you outside? Probably not you sharpest decision." Mabel continued, pointing to her head.
"Outsmarted by a girl in a long coat! Noooo!" He yelled, melting faster, slipping off the roof, "Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter hallabaloo."
"Case closed!" Mabel announced, brushing her hands together. As she did, the dust then tickled her nose, prompting her to sneeze.
"Ha ha ha! You sneeze like a kitten! Those policemen were right, you're adorable! Adoooorable!" He laughed, completely melting and falling off the shack. Mabel looked downward at the blob that used to be him, her eyes risen.
"E-ew." She commented, swaying her arms.
"Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise agayn!" Wax Shakespeare yelled, Dipper holding his head. While Mabel was off fighting, Dipper cleaned up the rest of the remains of the wax figures, tossing them into the fire.
"Y'know any limericks?" He asked, holding him up.
"Uh... there once was a dude from Kentucky..."
"Nope!" Dipper interrupted, tossing him into the fire. Just afterwards, Mabel walked into the room, Dipper running up to her.
"Mabel! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all." Dipper exclaimed.
"I couldn't have done it without my sidekick." She responded, smiling at him.
"No offense Mabel, but you're the sidekick." Dipper responded, looking at her in confusion.
"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have you heard that?" Mabel asked, stuttering, just as Ford entered the room.
"In all of the stars?! What happened to my parlor!?" Ford yelled, shocked as puddles of wax were everywhere on the walls. Another curtain fell, as Mabel and Dipper both looked at him with awkward smiles, in the middle of it all.
"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!" Dipper admitted, as Mabel spoke up.
"I decapitated Larry King." She announced.
Ford gave the kids a wide-eyed look, before placing his finger on his chin. "Well... that would explain the constant noises, and... are you children aright?" He asked. On the inside, however, he was practically beating himself up for being so blind. He was trying hard enough to keep the kids away from the supernatural, but it was practically lingering around the house.
But just maybe, maybe they could handle it on their own. That's what they proved to him, at least. Even if he didn't know the full details.
The twins nodded, as Mabel handed him the wax Ford's head. "On the bright side, though, look what we found." She announced
Ok, they definitely could.
Ford smiled, "I'm impressed, children. You two are definitely skilled when it comes to dealing with the paranormal." He began gently ruffling their hair, the three of them all laughing.
Suddenly, the trio looked up to the sound of sirens, the same police man from before pulling up next to the broken parlors window. "Solved the case yet, girl? I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee." Blubs yelled out, proceeding to take a slow sip.
"Actually, the answer is yes." Mabel cheerfully exclaimed, showcasing the wax figures head in the air.
The officer immediately choked, spitting out all his drink onto his partner, who returned the favor. The two repeatedly began spitting to coffee back and forth, screaming at the burning sensation in their eyes.
Ford, Mabel, and Dipper laughed as they watched the police men drive off in terror, screaming.
"So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?" Mabel asked, leaning towards Dipper.
"I am ninety-nine percent sure that I did!" He responded.
"Good enough for me!"
Meanwhile, inside the vents, Wax Larry Kings head watched the trio, laughing. As he did, a rat then crawled next to him, prompting him to stop.
"So you're a rat. Tell me about that." He asked, as the rat took his ear, running away with it.
"Hey, get back here!" He yelled, chasing the rat by hopping, "I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"
"Hmm. Hey Mabel, which do you think is better? Sequins or wolf hair?"
Dipper posed in front of a mirror, positioning two shirts on him. Wax Larry King then noticed him, through one of the vents passages, speaking up his own opinion.
"The wolf hair. Wolves are nature's greatest warriors." He announced, hopping away.
"Thanks Mabel!" Dipper responded, running out of the room. Mabel then looked up from her book, shrugging as she proceeded to read it again.
KH'V VWLOO LQ WKH YHQWV
(Probably tons of errors, once again needed to get this up before the deadline. I'll correct in the future! Point them out, and also, reviews are appreciated! c:)