(A/N: I recently found these about 3/4 done and gathering dust somewhere on my hard drive and decided to finish them, since I reread Saiyuki recently. As always, I'd love to know your favorites.)

#1 (Walk): Sanzo wouldn't walk anywhere if Hakuryuu was around, not even down the street and back; he would wait until he could demand a ride and sit in the passenger's seat, watching the landscape flow past and thinking of how far he wandered on foot for so many years.

#2 (Beauty): Living cheek-and-jowl with someone let you see the moments when they were truly at their best; not the loud and dramatic moments, but quiet ones like Gojyo and Hakkai playing poker with a beat-up deck of cards and a wager of a single bottle of beer, or Sanzo sailing paper airplanes, or Goku in the first moment every morning when he smiled to realize that, once more, he was not alone.

#3 (Catch): Goku was fond of climbing trees and just as fond of leaping out of them, especially if there was someone there to leap onto; but it only took one flailing collapse, and the subsequent beating and foul language, to learn that Sanzo was never going to catch him.

#4 (Speak): So much of what was said between the four was meaningless, teases and taunts or idle comments and questions; but so much of what was unsaid was rich in meaning, perhaps too rich to try to find words for very often, communicated in silence and presence and the occasional meeting of gazes.

#5 (Lack): "It's kind of weird," Goku said out of the blue one day, "to know that you lack something-but to not know what it is, not even be sure it's really out there, but feel like maybe you do nonetheless - and then you find out how much you didn't have and you wonder how you didn't know -" and Gojyo, who Goku was walking next to but only halfway talking to, was silent for a long moment, before shaking it off and stopping at a cart by the side of the road and buying some sweet corn to share with the kid.

#6 (Mine): Hakkai did not claim possession of anything casually; when he realized he had grown an attachment to something, or worse, someone, he would feel apprehension set in because he knew - had always known, long before Kanan - that he had the capacity to destroy, and that it was most likely to be triggered over the word mine.

#7 (Laugh): Goku was in Gojyo and Hakkai's kitchen, impatiently watching Hakkai cook, when Gojyo leaned over Hakkai's shoulder and muttered something that made Hakkai laugh in a way that was strange somehow; it was only after hours of wondering, only when he was walking back to the temple and munching on leftovers, that Goku realized what had startled him about Hakkai's laughter tonight was that it had been relaxed and genuine, and that Goku must have never heard him truly laugh before.

#8 (While): Sanzo dreaded the phrase "While you were gone," because if it wasn't his group informing him of some new trouble they were expected to solve or some new way they were getting attacked, it was townspeople informing him that various members of his group had offended half the staff and terrified the other half, eaten everything in the establishment, broken plates and chairs fighting, and charged it all to his credit card.

#9 (Youth): Youth was a relative concept; Goku appeared so very young, in both body and spirit, and he turned so often for advice to those that he knew had only lived for the smallest portion of the centuries that were Goku's.

#10 (Stay): The truth was, even before the journey west more things were done in pairs or a group than were ever done solo; even if the mission the gods had handed Sanzo needed only one of them to accomplish it, two or three or four of them would wind up pitching in because just like Tom Sawyer's fence, it looked like fun when someone else was doing it, or the ones who not going would feel guilty or worried or just plain bored; because the words stay behind rested sour with each of them.

#11 (Fill): Goku only realized he might have done something wrong when absolute silence, three blank stares, and three mouths open in shock greeted him after he put down his plate, stretched, and announced I'm full.

#12 (Distraction): One day, Hakkai went on the longest, pissiest nagging streak Gojyo had ever seen, right in the middle of a battlefield littered with youkai corpses; it was only much later, after they'd been arguing for hours and Gojyo was halfway ready to kill him that he heard Goku's voice from the hallway, asking Sanzo if he'd seen the corpse of the redheaded child, and the answering smack of Sanzo's fan - only then did he realize Hakkai's sudden irritation with everything Gojyo said, did, and owned was nothing more than an attempt to shield him.

#13 (Fear): It has been said that that which you fear most is what you inevitably draw to you; and it was true in the ikkou, as a boy who feared being left attached his heart and soul to a man famous for brushing people aside, as that man in turn found he couldn't get away from the boy's clinging, though he feared getting so close to someone that it would hurt him if he lost them, and as a man who feared his own bloody sins returned again and again to the side of a man with hair and eyes the color of blood, the same man who had lifted a near-dead stranger off the road knowing he couldn't save him, and fearing the abandonment that would come at his death.

#14 (Crash): After Goku's arrival the other monks quickly noticed that, while Sanzo could usually be found during the ordinary course of a day, whenever a loud crash or ruckus echoed through the temple Sanzo was fast to disappear and could rarely be located to receive complaints about Goku's behavior.

#15 (Look): Hakkai's fake smiles had become something of an in-joke within the ikkou, so much so that Goku and Gojyo had the different varieties named: the you-guys-are-really-irritating-me-but-it's-not-worth-saying-so smile, the surrounded-by-idiots smile, the uh-huh-I'm-really-listening smile, the I'm-only-phrasing-this-as-a-question-to-be-polite smile, and the dreaded you-do-remember-that-I-once-killed-hundreds-of-people-with-a-kitchen-knife smile that was applied to them when Hakkai caught them cataloguing his expressions.

#16 (Begin): It was like playing a game when endless lives were granted, or like having an automated voice inside him issuing dispassionate instructions; end the voice said when Kanan died, and end still all the way stumbling away from her, end when he collapsed by the side of the road; and then, just as clear and uncompromising, a bed with clean sheets and a pair of red eyes much too close to him and the command begin.

#17 (Second): After any minor change in his day, like going from being asleep to being awake or ending a battle or coming back to the group from an errand, letting it be known that he was hungry was always Goku's second impulse; locating Sanzo was the first.

#18 (Violet): It wasn't too long before Hakkai's relentless "tidy up the house" campaign spread to the garden, without Gojyo really noticing or caring; but one day, Gojyo found himself looking at the yard, full of violets and daffodils and iris and every flower in the world that didn't bloom red, and knew Hakkai had been quietly waiting for him to notice.

#19 (Candy): Sanzo quickly discovered Hakkai was the sort of person who collected secrets, like a great big magnet for them, and while he rarely revealed them he did use them: and it wasn't necessarily the important kind of secrets either, just the little and somewhat undignified ones like what kind of candy Sanzo was hiding a weakness for or what type of music soothed him or what he found attractive in other people's faces - unimportant things that, when gathered together and wielded with Hakkai's precision, could become very important indeed.

#20 (Nothing): "Hold nothing, huh?" Gojyo muttered while he lit the cigarette Sanzo had just coerced Hakkai into canvassing the room for, because it had to be the right brand and Sanzo couldn't get up to look himself because it would disturb Goku who, still working off the effects of the latest battle, was fast asleep and leaning against Sanzo, who glared at Gojyo but did not shoot, making a mental note that he owed the kappa one once Goku was up.

#21 (Familiar): The worst thing about it was that it was familiar; that obnoxious, gnawing, desperate voice, screaming for him just as certainly as if it was screaming his name, growing and building at the back of his head, making him think of promises left unkept, made to someone he couldn't quite remember.

#22(Show): After Hakkai moved in Gojyo despaired that his life had become a giant "how to" lecture - Hakkai would tell him how to be polite, how to take care of the house, where to go and what to do, all with those subtle speech patterns that let you know he had once been a teacher because you suddenly felt like you were in school - all of it was damned annoying, and there were times Gojyo definitely wanted to tell him to shut up, but he was always stopped by the realization that the most important life lesson, the one he really needed - how to be a friend - Hakkai was not lecturing him on, but simply showing him.

#23 (Day): At first they all usually knew what the date was; then, they got to a point where they usually knew what day of the week it was, and Hakkai could usually come up with the date because he was keeping a journal; and then they passed the year mark and even Hakkai lost interest in knowing what day it was, because they all felt the same and their goal was never any closer and it was easier to not know how many days had been lost since they began.

#24 (Ask): Goku knew if he had a question, he should usually ask Hakkai, because the other two would refuse to answer and probably take a swipe at him while they were at it, but Hakkai could always be counted on for an explanation (even if sometimes he got carried away and wound up talking more to himself than to Goku and the explanation didn't really make sense); but on the occasions that the question was really, truly important, Goku would just hang around Sanzo, and after a few days Sanzo would answer without Goku ever having asked.

#25 (Think): Hakkai was a logical, rational being, of sound mind and judgment and respected by those around him for just those qualities; unless Gojyo had left his dirty clothes on the floor again, or gone off with someone who was obviously using him, or done something unexpectedly kind, or gotten himself into stupid trouble - by far, Gojyo's most irritating and yet compelling quality was that Hakkai couldn't think when he was there, and found himself reacting strongly and irrationally to almost everything where the half-breed was concerned.

#26 (Hair): Gojyo's hair never really covered the scars, no matter what he did with it; Hakkai suspected Gojyo knew this, but he never commented on it, because he knew both how fragile and how vital such papier mache barriers could be.

#27 (Home): After settling in with Gojyo, and making a few minor adjustments to the house and the style of living within it, Hakkai is too surprised to react the first time someone jokingly says they're married; by the third or fourth time he overhears it, he's developed a cheerful-yet-vaguely-homicidal smile in response, and before long he doesn't even notice most of the "married" comments anymore (but reserves the right to terrify anyone who refers to him as the wife).

#28 (Loud): Gojyo was always loud, boisterous when he was happy and yelling when he was upset, insistent when he wanted attention and escalating in volume when he didn't receive it; not long into their journey west, Sanzo noticed that Hakkai blithely ignored any level of noise Gojyo could produce but became alert when Gojyo was quiet, and realized that this was the true sign of crisis.

#29 (Travel): "When we get home I'm writing a book about this journey," Hakkai muttered one night to no one in particular, leaning forward to see through Jipu's headlights; "One Thousand And One Youkai Graveyards, by Cho Hakkai," Sanzo muttered after a moment, and then Gojyo offered up "The Care and Keeping of a Well-Traveled Monkey," for a title, and the backseat dissolved into its normal state of acrimony.

#30 (Damage): They all had their own way of hiding - Gojyo with a lewd wink and a self-deprecating comment, Goku with a fascination with the present moment, Hakkai with a double mask of kindness and intelligence, Sanzo by building ten foot walls around himself - all so no one would see past the distractions, the barriers, and realize how damaged they were.

#31 (Strength): Gojyo usually let Hakkai set the tone of battle, and also the terms of it ending; and he let him do the budgeting for the house, even though it was mostly Gojyo's money, and more or less followed his house rules because he figured all those things were Hakkai's strong points, not his; but whenever he would start to feel useless, he'd come home one night to find Hakkai nerve-wracked and barely functional, lost in memories, and as Gojyo set to work helping Hakkai pull himself together he would realize that this was his strong suit.

#32 (Together): The trip back from India was filled with loud anticipation of arriving home and finally, finally, not having to be with each other all the time; it was a slightly shamefaced Hakkai and Gojyo who turned up at the temple a bare two days later, feeling restless and looking for a little background noise, and a thoroughly shamefaced Sanzo and chipper Goku who turned up on Gojyo and Hakkai's doorstep the next night, suffering from a lack of raucous arguments concerning the disposition of the last bite of food and hoping Gojyo and Hakkai still owned a mahjongg table.

#33 (Push): When push came to shove, all Hakkai's careful persuasion or Goku's wheedling couldn't provoke Gojyo or Sanzo into doing something half so effectively as a taunt from each other.

#34 (Safe): The three half-breeds were each taboo, and they each were fleeing hard from their own personal demons as well as the dangers inherent in showing their faces; to them, having a safe place was not a concept sentimental or emotional but a hard and cold fact, a thing which did not exist often, which made Sanzo all the more aware of being included in that space when the other three for some reason suddenly dropped their barriers, and acted as though they were safe around him.

#35 (Private): As weeks and months went by traveling together, the ikkou's sense of privacy diminished more and more, from the point where everyone's belongings were neatly organized and kept separate and everyone changed clothes in the privacy of the bathroom, to the point where no one even knew what belonged to whom, much less where it was, and one of them could walk naked across the hotel room and not even have a towel thrown at him.

#36 (Light): Sanzo thought he understood about light, that his master had taught him about the differences in the beauty and clarity of sun and moon, clear and clouded, day and night, and that this was enough; when Goku came into his life, Sanzo had to reevaluate everything he knew about light and where it could be sought.

#37 (Big): When Sanzo did the grocery shopping because the other three were sick, he wound up shooting off several rounds and simultaneously swearing that it wasn't a big deal and he would never do it again while the other three stared, stammered, teased, and were generally too busy being shocked to eat the food he'd gotten.

#38 (Want) While he was caged, Goku had wanted things, but only vaguely because he didn't even know what it was that he yearned for; after he was free and had a taste of what he'd been without, he sometimes felt there was not enough food or affection in the world to satisfy his want.

#39 (Law): It was a great benefit to the group that, being involved with the temple's administration of justice as he was, Sanzo was well informed in both the intent and the technicalities of the laws - it made it easier for them all to break them without receiving undue attention.

#40 (Canine): The pointed teeth in a person's mouth are called canines, and the pointed teeth in an animal's mouth are called fangs; Hakkai knew this, and so he perceived a difference in his teeth when he took his limiters off, and added it to a catalogue of a thousand little changes, only a few of which could be seen by anyone else.

#41 (Truth): Goku had no skill at lying, but the other three practiced endless deception against others and against themselves; and in that maze of lies, locating a sense of self was sometimes difficult, and sometimes necessitated looking into the clouded mirrors held by their companions.

#42 (Smoke): Gojyo and Sanzo felt the most hostility towards each other out of anyone in the ikkou, but it was never anything that a few moments spent silently smoking together couldn't smooth over - a fact which each of them became aware of a few weeks after Hakkai started silently handing them their cigarettes and shoving them out the door whenever trouble started to thicken between them.

#43 (Order): "You went first last time," Hakkai muttered, pushing Gojyo back from the edge of a battle they did not expect to come out of alive; and though it didn't make sense, though it had been months since they'd been in a fight that they hadn't all entered at once, Gojyo nonetheless felt a moment of perfect comprehension sweep over him; later, he could not remember why he'd thought he understood, nor could Hakkai remember why he'd said it, so both statement and response got written off as a result of the stress of battle.

#44 (Feel) Before Goku, Sanzo had whittled his emotions down to irritation, rage, and occasional respect, and part of his annoyance with Goku was the way Goku felt every emotion so strongly that it woke responses in Sanzo he wasn't ready to deal with.

#45 (Finish): Goku earned slightly hysterical laughter from Hakkai and a thorough beating, accompanied by much swearing, from the other two, when he innocently looked around the wreck of Houtou Castle and said, "Well, now what?"

#46 (Through): Sanzo tells Goku that he makes a better door than a window, a better wall than a door, a better armored tank than a wall, and would he get the hell out of the way already before Sanzo cleaves him in half and goes straight through him; none of it affects Goku, and it infuriates Sanzo to know the one obstacle he can't move with the force of his will has turned out to be a hungry, smiling kid.

#47 (Race): "It's not a race," Hakkai remarked tranquilly one day as Goku talked enviously about how fast the dragons from Houtou Palace could fly; "Good thing, too," Sanzo muttered, but that was as far as he got before an icy look from their driver quelled him.

#48 (Need): The only thing Sanzo would even consider admitting a need for was nicotine; yet it was a long time since he'd been alone, a long time since Goku's wants and requirements hadn't been taken into account every day; and he told himself that if he had come to count on Goku's presence, well, that didn't mean he needed it.

#49 (Splash): They tried to sneak into towns without making a big splash, both out of consideration of youkai attacks and their own desire not be gawked at; when they do get noticed, though, the other three play up Sanzo's status for all it's worth, arranging for every luxury they can nick and taking advantage of the opportunity to tease while Sanzo grits his teeth and reminds himself that if he shoots them, his credibility as a spiritual sage is gone and he'll have to pay for the things the other three are currently arranging to have for free.

#50 (Thrill): There was a joy to fighting, not just to overcoming obstacles or to achieving victory but to the fight itself, the feel of someone else's blood on your hands and the knowledge that they had not killed you, the look in their eyes when they realized they were going to die at your hands-it was a thrill they did not speak of, but they all knew they shared it with each other, and wordlessly accepted and savored both the sensation and its sharing as they traveled west.