As always I own nothing! All belongs to the wonderful Richelle Mead, I'm just playing in her world. Please review, helps motivate me to write more!

I woke up stifling a scream. A reputation for middle of the night screaming is the last thing that I need. I looked at the clock and groaned. I had 5 hours before I needed to get up to get ready for practice. I couldn't have slept for more than an hour. I flopped over and tried to force myself to sleep. I tried to remember what I had dreamed about, but all I could focus on was the feeling of pure terror.

With a sigh I hopped out of bed. I tossed on some old sweats and a jacket and headed outside. Maybe some fresh air could clear my mind. I snuck past the guardian watching the door. You think with all the times I'd escaped this place they might amp up security a bit.

I wandered through the forest aimlessly. The sun glittered down through the trees and I realized it was one of my favorite parts of my journey. I had missed the sunlight in the couple of days I'd been back. How many years could go by without me taking a stroll at the height of the afternoon again? It's ironic that the safest time of day would almost always be forbidden to me.

I found myself outside the cabin. Of course my traitorous feet would have led me here. I peeked in the window and was disappointed the view does not hold anything more special to me. Somehow while I've been away the cabin has turned from a haven in a dream to just another building. Will all of my memories be like this? Fade until they're hardly recognizable as the experiences I had? Does this mean that everyone's right? Give me time and Dimitri can fade from my heart? I let my hand graze the scars that cover my neck. Dimitri has left his mark on me, I doubt I will ever be able to forget how he made me feel.

I resumed my walk through the trees listening to the sounds of life all around me. I stopped and sat beneath a large tree. I watched a few rabbits playing. As I focused on them my eyelids drifted closed.

'You've always been mine, Roza.' His hands dug into my shoulders, but I shuddered in anticipation of what was to come. He began to draw away from me and I whimpered softly at the loss of contact. He smiled humorlessly. 'See, Roza? Mine' In an instant his fangs found my throat and I joyfully lost myself in being his.

I shot up scaring the rabbits still running around across for me. Damn the same rabbits. How long could I have been out? A few minutes? This time I remembered snippits of my dream and I wish I didn't. I shook quickly before briskly walking back up to my dorm, wishing I could leave my dreams in the woods behind me.

It was just as easy to sneak into the dorm as out of it. After I graduated and left the academy forever I'd have to anonymously let Alberta know the holes in her campus defense system.

I slipped into my room and glared at the clock. Three and a half more hours to kill. I debated crawling back into bed and giving sleep one last try, but I don't have the courage. Instead I cleaned out my closet and took inventory. Not that I'll have money anytime in the new future to get any of the serious holes in my wardrobe, but organizing my needs kept me busy for almost two hours. Then I wrote a long letter to Olena and the rest of Dimitri's family. I know they'll never truly be my family, but I can't help wondering what would have happened if I'd stayed with them. It may never have been real, but it would have been a nice dream. 'You might have been happy there' Dimitri's words echo through my mind shattering the peace I've painstakingly built.

With a sigh at the clock I decided it was late enough that I could take a shower and get ready for training. I reached the track about half an hour before I told Jill to meet me. I started running anyway. I had to force myself not to push too hard. Running made me feel peaceful and free. Two things I couldn't remember the last time I felt.

It took me a few minutes to notice that Jill began to run around the track too. Damn, I thought living in the "real world" fighting real enemies would have sharpened my awareness. I slowed slightly and let Jill catch up to me.

"Am I late?" she asked timidly after a few minutes of silence.

I checked the sky distractedly. "Nope, I've just been doing this longer and need to exert myself further to get the same benefit."

Jill nodded, but looked like she didn't believe me. Great, now I'd have a mini me frying in the sunlight just to prove she can take as much as I can.

"Do you think you can teach me how to fight?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "I thought that's what Ozera was doing."

"No, well yes he's teaching me to fight with my magic which is good, but I want to be able to defend myself physically too."

I slowed to walk and observed the way Jill was moving. If she was Dhampir I would guess she'd make a serviceable guardian. None of the natural grace that comes with genetics or starting training at age 3, but she would pass. I shook my head slowly. I sat down to stretch and Jill joined me. As I completed the exercises I showed her my scars. "This is where I broke my arm in class practicing. I was 13. This is where a classmate through me across the room and I broke a rib. Thousands of bruises and cuts. I've been to the hospital so many times I'm waiting for my own private bed. Fighting is not a lifestyle choice you should make when you have options. You have options, Jill."

Jill finished her stretch and stood up. "Maybe I have options, but not knowing how to fight never kept anyone who was being attacked from getting hurt. Maybe I'd get bruises in practice, but it's better than...it's better than dying." Jill walked away before I could recover enough to answer.

Damn, now I'd have to add corrupting the youth to my already busy schedule. I made a mental note to check in with Christian about adding more physical defense work to his trainings with her.

Alberta came out with a person I'd never seen dressed in guardian's gear. Oh God, I hope it's not a new mentor. I don't think I can take calling anyone else my mentor. Consider me mentored to the hilt already.

"Miss. Hathaway, I'd like you to meet Guardian Charles Higgins. He will not be joining us this morning, but he has volunteered to help test your field training assignment. I wanted to make sure you were familiar with all of the faces that could jump out at you and Mr. Ozera." Her face softened slightly. "Young guardians tend to be...jumpy after their first real job."

Guardian Higgins appeared to be about thirty. He was at least six feet tall and clearly well muscled. He nodded as he saw me looking him over. "Would you mind if I observed your training?"

"Isn't that like cheating," I said before I could catch myself.

Guardian Higgins' mouth twitched as though he was fighting a smile. "Are you saying you need the element of surprise? Besides don't the rest of your instructors participating know your fighting style quite well?"

I shrugged and smiled at him. "Sure, feel free to watch me get my behind handed to me. Try not to hold it against me at grading time."

Alberta and I sparred for over an hour. I only was able to connect with her once or twice, but I blocked more punches than I took. I tried to remind myself I hadn't really been training in over a month. When Alberta told me I could stop I stood focusing on not panting. Guardian Higgins was no where to be seen.

"Not bad, Ms. Hathaway. Of course I expected no less from Guardian Belikova's prodigee." I looked over my bruised and battered body confused at how this was anything but dismal. Alberta smiled savagely, "Guardian Belikova was never able to beat me either." Alberta walked away without waiting for an answer. Maybe I should be worried that everyone who spends more than a few minutes with me ends up walking away without waiting for a response.

I took another long shower before breakfast. I'd have to talk to Eddie about keeping an eye on Christian so I could do more than washing up. Six days of constant training and no showers would really have people running in the opposite direction.

I arrived late to the cafeteria which I vowed to never do again on my day off. Not because someone ate all the doughnuts (even though I definitely saw three on Eddie's plate alone), but because Adrian and Lissa were seated at one table and Christian and Jill were seated on the other side of the cafeteria. Both groups of far too cheery people waved me over. I hesitated for what felt like the longest minute ever before joining Eddie and a couple of our classmates. It didn't hurt that this put me in the perfect position to steal one of Eddie's doughnuts.

"Hey, if you don't sleep in you can get your own," Eddie said as he half-heartedly tried to get it back. With a dramatic sigh he turned back to his plate. "A bunch of us are getting together tonight. I got a bottle of peach schnopps in honor of your return. You in?" Eddie asked like I had never left and everything was normal.

"In my honor huh?" I asked grinning, knowing at the very most I was an excuse to get wasted. "I'd love to, but I'm in remedial field training. Stuck making sure Ozera makes it through the year alive. I'm back on duty after dinner. Make sure to have a drink in my honor."

Eddie laughed. "Don't worry, I'll have two. I can't believe they're making you do field training alone. Hey, let me know if you need a break for anything. Christian isn't as bad a guy as you make him sound. I can help get him to graduation if you want."

"I will definitely take you up on that, Eddie," I said with a mischievous grin. Eddie squirmed slightly but didn't take back his offer. As if the guardians would get away with having Eddie babysit Christian more than absolutely necessary. There are no days off, no sick days when it's your job to protect someone with your life.

Lissa walked up to the table with Adrian trailing behind her. "Want to watch a movie and hang out with us?" Lissa asked nervously.

"It depends...who picked the movie?" I asked with a grin.

Lissa smiled, "Well we were going to hang in Adrian's rooms, so I would think he'd want to pick, but I bet we could take him." She held up her still bruised hand in a fist and grinned.

"Sounds good, I need to relax, get ready to go back on duty tonight."

Adrian looked at Lissa measuringly. "I resent the implication that you could 'take me,'" As Lissa and I stepped into his space he held up his arms in defeat. "I didn't say I was going to make you fight me. I just meant that clearly I am enough of a gentleman to refuse to fight a lady."

I snickered. "A gentleman huh?" We started to walk towards guest quarters. As Adrian opened the door, bowing dramatically for us to pass before him, I noticed I hadn't been forced to try to breathe through a cloud of clove cigarette scented smoke. Not wanting to jinx anything I let it go without comment.

We settled onto Adrian's couch with me in the middle. Adrian handed me the remote without a word. I looked at him questioningly. "Consider it like a person on death row's last meal. It's your last movie in freedom for an entire week."

"Are you seriously comparing my having to hang out and guard Christian from fake Strigoi to being electrocuted to death?"

Adrian got up and went to the kitchen. "Stop twisting everything I say around and pick a movie before I decide Lissa is more deserving of the honor. Order whatever you want."

I flipped through the choices realizing just how long it'd been since I'd seen a movie in English. I settle on The Taking of Pelham 123. Lissa groans. "Hey you heard the man, it's the last movie I'll ever be able to watch."

Adrian came back in with three bottles of coke. He sighed deeply before sitting back down next to me. "I believe I was clear that it was an analogy not a declaration. I had hoped we might even be able to watch another movie before you had to leave us. I have a surprise coming for lunch."

I tossed Lissa the remote. "See, there you go. You can pick the second movie."

"How kind of you to give away my remote. It's not like I'm the one paying for the movies, of course I wouldn't want a choice," Adrian said dryly.

"Of course you would, Adrian. You had the ultimate choice. You chose to give me the remote. Now shh, it's starting."

"You do realize that remote comes with a pause button, right?" Adrian said lightly before complying with my request for quiet.

Tell me, were Christian and I so obvious in our initial flirting? Lissa thought pointedly at me. I glared at him witheringly and wished she could hear my mental shout of 'we're not flirting.'

I got really into the movie, but I think it was more about it's being in English than about any outstanding performance by John Travolta. Don't get me wrong, he's done some great movies, but this was not his finest. Adrian excused himself near the end of the movie, but I barely noticed his absence.

I headed to the bathroom as soon as the credits finished. I may not know any of the people whose names stream across the screen, but they worked hard to be a part of the movie, and I think it's disrespectful to ignore that. Maybe that's only because I'm going to spend most of my life being one of those behind the scenes people, but I like to think it's just courtesy.

When I walked back into the living room my mouth began to water. "Oh my god, is that pizza I smell? Real pizza, not just french bread with sauce and cheese?"

"Didn't I promise you we'd eat like this every day when you came back? I always try to keep my promises. I should definitely put that in my essay."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, miracle man, just pass the pizza. You should know it isn't wise to tease a trained warrior like this. What are we watching next, Lissa?"

Lissa just grinned at me as she took a big bite of her pizza. I tried to get into her head to see what was in store but she blocked me. I finished my pizza as The Ugly Truth started up. I glared at Liss as I realized just what she was trying to say. Note to self: separate time with Lissa and Adrian to avoid less than subtle messages such as these. Adrian wisely said nothing at all. I tried hard not to enjoy myself, but I found laughter escaping despite my best efforts.

I left right after the movie. It had gotten late, and I had to hurry to be able to grab a bag of my stuff to bring to Christian's room before dinner. I knocked on his door. "Come on, flame boy, your personal guardian is here," I called out sweetly.

Christian opened the door. "Do you have to call me flame boy all the time? What kind of loyal guardian are you anyway?" Christian asked with a smile.

I pushed past him, "So where can this loyal and weary guardian put down her stuff?" I looked around his room and realized there was a bed made on the floor. Christian pointed to an empty section in his closet. "Aww, how sweet. Did you miss me yesterday Ozera?"

"Just trying to make it comfortable enough for you not to leave me defenseless again, Hathaway."

We headed down and grabbed a quick dinner at the cafeteria. We both ate lightly, Christian had visited the feeders shortly before I came and I was still full from the five slices of pizza I'd managed to put away.

After the third time I yawned Christian asked, "Wow, Hathaway, am I really that boring?"

"Well...I wasn't going to be so crude as to say anything but -" Christian pushed me playfully. "Hey, is that any way to treat your loyal protector?"

Christian and I headed towards the library so he could study after dinner. Before we reached the doors I was jumped by someone dressed in black with a mask covering their face. I bent over and used their momentum to flip them over my head. I pushed Christian away. I hesitated between which stake to grab. In my hesitation my assailant swept my legs out from under me. I slid into the fall and regained control quickly. I elbowed them in the face hard and could hear the grunt of pain. I pulled the mask off and saw Guardian Higgins. Grabbing the fake stake I "killed" him.

"Couldn't wait to try me out, huh, Guardian Higgins?"

"Nope, I couldn't resist after seeing you with Captain Alberta. I think you broke my nose. I gotta say I was a little worried there. You seemed to be hesitating. What were you waiting for?

Somehow I didn't think it'd go over well if I said why I really hesitated. Well you see, sir, I'm a little worried that my Strigoi ex-boyfriend is on his way to kill my friends and turn me into his blood whore until I finally give up and allow him to turn me. "What can I say? You caught me by surprise."

Guardian Higgins gave me a hard considering look. I could tell he didn't believe me, but he shrugged and walked back towards the main building.

"Hey, Christian, you mind if we call it a night? I really am a little tired."

Christian stared at me, trying to figure out what was wrong. He finally shrugged, "How can I deny my fearless protector rest? Even if she does have a nasty habit of tossing me into walls." He rubbed his arm soothingly as he grinned.

The bed on the floor was more comfortable than I expected. I meant to say Thank you, but I only blinked for a second before sleep engulfed me.