You taught my heart
A sense I never knew I had
I can't forget
The times that I was lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine

-My heroine, Silverstein

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Arc I: Fractured Heart, Broken Smile

"Oh my god… she looks just like her." Gram's voice came and then she was enveloped in a soft hug. One that smelled of lavender and flour and honeysuckle. It wasn't right like mom's, but it still felt nice. Sam didn't wrap her arms around her Gram in return.

"Hello Sam," she smiled, "how was the trip?"

Sam shut her eyes and signed that it was ok.

"Oh," she didn't have to see her Gram's face fall in disappointment and pity behind dark lids.

In that there was some escape.

Another hug wrapped about her. warm and strong it smelt of sage and a crispness that was the Autumn weather. Still she didn't return it, she just accepted it.

"Come on Sam," her dad's voice was gravelly, not often used. "There're people who want to meet you and schools tomorrow."

For a moment Sam sighed and he released her. reaching down he picked up her duffle bag and looked to her. Gram was standing there biting her lip, not sure what to say. Obviously she had a lot of questions, questions that she couldn't understand the signing to. Inwardly she scowled in frustration. But outwardly she stood, bowing her head forward and crossed her arms.

Dad's arm was solid and warm over her shoulders and she dropped her head lower. She was going to meet the family.

She felt sick to her stomach.

It was obvious Gram and dad didn't know how to sign, aunt Sue had only gotten a rudimentary grip on signing. Enough to understand when Sam wanted something or the typical answer to a 'how are you?' question which was always, 'fine'. No more, no less.

But aside from that, that was it. most things had to be scribbled down on paper and slapped to the fridge with a magnet. She hated not having some way to express herself to people. She wanted her voice. But the damage to her vocal cords was so severe they were a mutilated mess according to the doctors.

She pressed her lips together as they led her out to a dark blue pick up and bowed her head as she got in the back of the dual cab, the top of her head brushing the door frame. She could stretch her legs out sideways to give them more room she noted. She took the duffle bag offered to her and buckled herself in as she placed the bag beside her.

The others got in the car and they were off for the long road to the ranch.

In her mind she scoffed at the sound of it and outwardly she leaned her head against the glass of the window and let their talk die down to a murmuring buzz.

.
The sky was pure blue, stretching like a dome over their heads, a few watery grey clouds hovered over the horizon and mountains reached towards the dome, rearing out of the flat fawn tablecloth that was the dessert.

Her eyes roamed over the sage and the rock and sand, taking it in. it was so… dry. Her lips pressed in a flat line and her eyes still traced over the sand. She didn't want to go back to sleep. She didn't want them to see her have a bad dream and see her open her mouth in a scream that never came. So she faced her boredom by looking alternatively to the sky, to the dessert and then to the book resting in her hands.

Soon enough though, her attention returned to the world outside her window. And this time movement caught her eye.

Inky black and mahogany brown, deep burnished copper and buttercup yellow they moved across the dessert a fiercely galloping herd. She didn't even register the car slowing and pulling over.

They had to be about half a mile away but her gaze was caught and held. Then something glinted in the sun, rotor blades of a helicopter. They swooped low cutting off the horses, awkward and bulky compared to the sleek gracefulness that was the horses galloping below it.

They lacked order, they lacked a leader. But then surging out of the ranks came a fine boned black stallion and the herd wheeled under his direction and the herd once again powered towards the hills. Quick, fast, to fast for the awkward helicopter and they disappeared as if they never were.

"Mustangs Sam," her Gram's soft voice floated to her ears. "Sometimes they are willing to grace us with their presence."

Sam looked at her Gram's dark eyes and nodded before looking back out the window.

The car started again and then they were back on the road.

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It was only twenty five minutes later and they were going over a bridge. The river bank was dotted with old willow trees, an old tire swing hanging from the thickest, sturdiest branch of one of the trees. A large sturdy barn came into view first, with a pen off to the side, high fenced with chicken wire along the bottom. There was another small round yard off the side of the barn as well and then a large one with a seven foot high fence a few feet away from the barn. A rail on three sturdy poles closed the gap between them. there were two long and low log houses and behind them a large ten acre paddock. And then right to the back but obviously the main house on the ranch was a large two story ranch house with a wrap around porch. Wood was stacked in a lean-to on the left side of it and there was a chicken coop with a large vegetable garden to the right.

A border collie dog and an odd looking mutt bounded towards the Ute as the door to the house opened.

The Ute was parked next to a yellow Buick but with enough room between them for another car. On the other side of the Buick was a pickup the color of old faded jeans.

Sam shut her eyes for a moment to collect herself and then straightened and got out of the car. Four new people stood there and three more were coming over. Sam let her gaze run over each.

The first, the youngest, was a girl. Her hair was auburn and braided back from her face, held back by pale blue ribbons. She had on jean shorts and a red tank top. Her skin was tanned and her blue eyes were bright with their spiky dark lashes. Her upturned nose sprinkled with freckles.

Sam looked to the next person, he was the middle child obviously. His dark auburn hair was straight and brushed past the tips of his ears. His eyes were cinnamon brown, he too had long dark lashes that framed his eyes. he wore jean cutoffs and sneakers and a grey t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

The third, the oldest child looked back at Sam with cinnamon brown eyes and auburn hair. He was tall and lean and perhaps three or two years younger then Sam's seventeen. She had to look away for a moment. The first child of the woman that Sam's dad had left her mother for.

Louise had seen the way the two shared glances, seen the instant attraction and her kind heart had taken pity. Bruised and broken she'd given dad a way out of the marriage, handing him the divorce papers with the condition that she got to keep Sam. Sam's dad would have kept up the happy family, the loving of Sam and her mother but it wouldn't be the way like it was before and Sam knew it.

She scowled and looked to the ground. She couldn't look at them any more. Couldn't see the children he'd so happily consummated while her mother was in san Francisco carrying on with her fractured heart and broken smile. Her mother hadn't deserved any of this.

"Sam…" her dad's voice trailed off. "I'd like you to meet Cody, Jaxom and Reena, your siblings."

Her converse heel ground into the dirt in her frustration and she tucked her cheek in a reminiscent action to stop herself from snapping angrily even though she had no voice to give it.

But she did what her mom would've wanted her to do and signed to them, 'hello.'

"What's the matter with her? Can't she talk?" the youngest piped up in an innocently naïve voice.

Sam's scowl deepened and she shoved her suddenly clenched fists in her pockets.

"No honey," Gram's voice was gentle, halting, her hand squeezing Sam's tensed shoulder as if trying to hold onto her. trying to stop her from going deeper into herself. "Sam's vocal cords got damaged in the –"

She cut herself off abruptly when Sam pulled away this time crossing her arms defensively over her stomach as she glared at the chipped paint of the car.

"Oh," the youngest said softly. Sam didn't look up, she didn't want their pity. Her throat burned with tears that she refused to let fall and when her dads arm settled over her shoulder she flinched minutely.

The arm remained.

"Come on Sam, I'll take you to your room."

Thanks to the reviews, hopefully this answers your questions.