A/N: Man, I am sorry for that long hiatus. My life has been INSANE. I'm teaching at 4 different universities plus tutoring 3 days a week. Writing has evaded me. FINALLY things are letting up a little. Sorry, faithful readers. I promise things will come along a little smoother now that I will be getting more sleep...hopefully...anyway here's the chapter.

Chapter 3: Your Shadow

Light reflects from your shadow

It is more than I thought could exist

You move through the room like breathing was easy

If someone believed me

They would be as in love with you as I am

"Angels", the xx

"How was the flight?" Pam asked as we got in the car.

"Boring as fuck." I said, slamming my suitcase in the trunk. The Joker put his in on top of mine.

"Well, that's a lovely assessment." She rolled her eyes as I got in the front seat, "Care to elaborate?"

"Yes, what I would love to do at the ass crack of dawn is sit on a plane with like only 10 other people for 4 hours. It was just so riveting, you wouldn't even believe it."

"Tell me how you really feel." She chuckled, speeding out of the loading zone and onto the highway. The scenery in Washington was quite beautiful, but I was in no mood to be awestruck.

"I don't think you would want to know." I leaned my head against the window.

"Why did you guys come in so early anyway? I thought your flight was going to leave at like noon today." Pam inquired, "I thought it was a little odd that you decided to get here this soon. I mean, obviously you must have just missed me that much but I'm sure you have other reasons."

"Care to explain, my sweet?" I said sarcastically, squeezing my eyes shut.

Pam glanced back at my boyfriend and child, "Well?"

"I owe people money." He said flatly.

"And what does that have to do with leaving Omaha?"

"We got ambushed."

"By who?!"

"The guys I owe money to. They said a big enforcer to…well, I am not really sure what he was going to do. I imagine it was to intimidate us."

"And what happened to him?"

"He's no longer with us." I supplied.

"Oh, you guys…" she sighed, "That's unfortunate."

"Yeah, I think it's better that we're alive, to be honest." I said shortly.

"Obviously I do prefer you guys being alive, but did you have to kill him? That seems excessive."

"When someone that large barges into your hotel room, your instincts are to kill him dead." The Joker said, as if that was a totally normal thing to say.

"You two are human garbage disasters. You can't have one normal vacation like everyone else?"

"Apparently not." I replied, "But it's his fucking fault. He's the one who owes them like 20 million dollars."

"Jesus H. Christ." Pam said.

"Praying isn't going to work." The Joker piped up.

"It's just a turn of phrase, homey." Pam snapped.

"Homey?" I asked for clarification.

"I guess I've gotten more street these days." Pam shrugged.

"I can't even." I muttered.

"ANYWAY," the Joker interjected loudly over the din, "We are basically fucked until we give them the money."

"I thought you guys were going to England?"

"That's not going to happen now. They'll just find us there." I sighed, "Because my dear lover had to be all bitter and jealous about Bruce Wayne."

"God, this really was all about him." Pam said as if in disbelief, "Me going to prison was all about him. That motherfucker. I hope he gets syphilis and his genitals crumble and fall off and he slowly goes mad and his nose falls off and he's super fucking ugly."

"That's specific." I commented.

"I just want something slow and painful." Pam said.

"I agree." The Joker said behind her.

"Hey yo, let's calm down and not be wishing venereal disease on people." I chuckled in spite of myself. Pam always did have a certain way of making me feel better even if it did involve threaten of bodily harm to others.

"You of all people should wish it on him." Pam snorted derisively, "Such a douche."

"Well, that's true but I'm not going to keep harping on it. Trying to turn over a new leaf or whatever."

"You were literally just cursing him out like a few hours ago." The Joker pointed out.

"Ok, ok, I am at least trying not to be as much of a bitch as usual. I can work on it. I can grow up or whatever." I said dismissively, "Point is, Bruce Wayne, as always, is the source of all of our problems. Because he wants to undermine us at every turn. We need to come up with a strategy. How do you know that Bruce wasn't behind our dear friend trying to kill us in the hotel room?"

"Well, we don't know that for sure." The Joker admitted, "We can certainly find out. I've got enforcers all around the city to get some information. My inclination is that it's not. Bruce has probably had it with dealing with us at this point. He doesn't want to cause any more trouble."

"Somehow I doubt that." I said, "He's like a fucking cockroach. Every time we think we've gotten rid of him, he just pops back up again, worse than ever. This last time he basically got Pam thrown into a mental institution. I'm so over his fake humble-brag bullshit. He thinks he gets to be the hero while we look like shitty people."

"We are shitty people." My boyfriend remarked.

"Babe, we are this way by our circumstances. Bad things happened to us, so we got revenge. I mean, it's not like we're serial murderers or anything."

"I've killed a lot of people. Like, I mean, point blank in their face murdered." He said, "We killed a man last night, in case you forgot."

"You did it because you had to." I said dismissively.

"Sweetie, you're a fucked up mess like the rest of us. Just admit it." Pam patted my shoulder patronizingly.

I shrugged her off, "Come on. I refuse to believe that we are that terrible of people, ok? Let me live in my delusion."

"Fine." Pam rolled her eyes, "Let me not point out the irony of you being a psychologist or anything…"

I stared out the window at the passing buildings; I can't even deign to call them skyscrapers. Seattle's high-rises have nothing on New York's. You know it's true. The exhaustion and the weight of my situation was starting to hit me. I felt my eyelids getting heavy.

"How far away are we?" I asked, yawning.

"Just about 20 minutes." Pam said in response.

"Blargh." I rested my head against the window. I felt so trapped. That's dramatic, I know. I was freaked out. People were after us again and just when I thought things were going so well, we had everything together – for the most part - and now we were on the move for what felt like the millionth time. I used to think that I was such a stable person before all of this happened to me. I thought I had everything planned. I remember graduating from NYU with my doctorate, proudly thrusting my diploma into the air, thinking I had the world ahead of me. I was going to be successful, I was going to be great. I was going to make tons of money and have a beautiful house with a picket fence and a dog or whatever. That all went to hell in less than two years after that day.

I looked back at my boyfriend and child, the two greatest accomplishments I could ever hope for – as demented as that is. I guess sometimes what you think your life will turn out like is far from what you've ever imagined. Maybe even a complete 180, really. Did I really think I'd be running from the law, from other criminals, hiding my identity, traveling the world like Carmen Sandiego? I don't even have a cool hat like her.

Pam pulled up to her parents' house, a sprawling abode scaled with ivy (how incredibly ironic) and in the middle of the greenest fucking yard I'd ever seen. I stepped out of the car. The air was so fresh, it almost made me ill. I was used to the polluted skies of New York and recently the musky country air of Nebraska. This was weird.

He stepped out behind me, "Wow, this place is great, Pamela."

"I know, right? I convinced my parents to put all the plants in when I was a kid."

"Surprise, surprise." I commented, opening the trunk to get our suitcases.

The Joker put Olivia down on the ground and she toddled happily across the grass for about three steps before she promptly plopped on her ass. The three of us immediately started, waiting for the impending wail, but she merely sort of gave a shrug and got back up again. My resilient, stubborn child.

"She gets that from you." I commented to my man.

"I think her future stubbornness comes from both ends, babe." He said, putting his arm around me and planting a big kiss on my cheek. I shoved him away.

"Dude, seriously! Calm your tits." I laughed.

"Ugh, you guys are just killing me." Pam rolled her eyes, "Let's go inside. Mom is preparing us some brunch."

"Mimosas?" I interjected eagerly, almost bouncing on the balls of my feet.

"Honey, do you even know me? Of course there are mimosas."

"Oh, blessed day!" I nearly screeched, bolting up the driveway.

Angela opened the front door, and pulled me into a big, warm hug, "Harley, how are you?"

"Tired, but feeling a little more energized now that I see food." I said, peering behind her, "We had to bolt out of there without having breakfast."

She stepped aside and let me in, chuckling, "Please, eat. We have enough for an army." She looked behind me at the Joker walking with Olivia, "Oh my God, is this your daughter?!"

"Oh yes, it is!" I said, suddenly realizing that she hadn't met her.

"She's absolutely beautiful, just like you!" Angela said, picking Olivia up. She stared at the Joker, "Oh, and obviously she must get something from you. Intelligence, perhaps?"

"Yeah, thanks." He said dryly.

"I think you're handsome." I piped up, shoving a bagel in my mouth.

"Somehow I'm not flattered at the moment." He said in response.

"Asshat." I snapped in return, "Trying to pay you a compliment."

"Wow, I am just so impressed that you even tried. Good attempt, bae."

"Blarghhhh, bae? Can you not?" I glared daggers at him. He kept doing this thing to annoy the living hell out of me. And it was working.

"Blessed." He said, picking up a bagel, "Winning. Hashtag. Am I hip yet?"

"You just said hip, so no." Pam said, shaking her head, "So what are you two going to do about this whole mess you're in?"

"I'm too tired to worry about this." I whined, "Can I please just have a mimosa and die? Is that too much to ask?"

"That should be the subtitle of your memoir." Pam suggested.

"Even if I published my life as a book, no one would believe me." I retorted.

"Fair point." The Joker said.

"Obviously if I wrote a book I would be an omniscient narrator. That's the only way to go." I said.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Angela, clearly lost. I didn't blame her.

"We're being followed by some unknown gang who wants to kill us. And it's all his fault." I said, jerking my thumb at my stupid significant other.

He shrugged, "I mean, I was just trying to kill Bruce Wayne. Can you really fault me for that?"

"Honestly, no, not after what we've been through." Angela chuckled, "But that's still a pretty serious situation. What are you going to do?"

"Again, not discussing this until I'm a shade less sober." I announced, filling my champagne flute to the top and then chugging most of it in one gulp, "Shouldn't be long now."

"You're so beautiful when you're crazy." The Joker said fondly.

"I imagine that's what drew you to me." I said, crossing my eyes.

"Yeah, no, that's not it." He said, shielding his eyes from me, "I think I need a mimosa to deal with all of this bullshit."

I handed him one and he chugged it.

"Another, please." He said, handing me the empty glass, "This stuff is like pure orange juice."

"You want some vodka in there too?" Angela asked.

He stared at her, "Woman, you are a saint."

She poured a good portion of vodka into his drink.

"Where's daddy?" Pam asked.

"Oh, at work, as usual. He will see you guys later when he gets home." Angela said, "Do you think Olivia should go down for a nap?"

"Yeah, that would be fine." I said, picking her up, "Naptime, hon? Mommy needs cocktails."

She nodded sleepily so I handed her over to Angela, "Anywhere that's quiet will work. She sleeps better if you put on a movie or the TV."

"She likes Cinderella if you have it." The Joker interjected.

Have I mentioned how weird it is that we're parents? Yeah, it's pretty fucking weird.

"I think I probably do. Want to come help me look? We can let the girls chat for a bit." Angela suggested.

"Sure," he replied, following her, "You ladies talk about Sex and the City or something. I don't have a vagina, so I have no idea."

"You couldn't handle having a vagina." Pam snorted.

"You're probably right." He conceded, and away he went.

After a moment of chatting, I then noticed that Pam wasn't drinking.

"No mimosas for you?"

"Nah, it's too early." She said but sounded really unconvincing.

I stared hard at her.

She started shifting uncomfortably under my gaze.

"YOU ARE PREGNANT, YOU BITCH."