Chapter 3 Notes: Jess brings Jeremy and Mallory together. Anxiety ensues. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. I love hearing from you guys! :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my own obsession with Gilmore Girls

"- Not just a good memory, but you're best memory! The one you go to when you need to pull yourself out of a funk. The one you think of as your happy place-"

Jeremy tuned out the instructions on their first writing project once he got the gist of the assignment. Instead he found himself looking at the student in the desk next to him, watching Jess watch the instructor, just like the conscientious student that Jeremy had promised Luke Jess would be. Jeremy thought about how this was the kind of assignment he had always hated before he had met Jess and had a family and happy memories of his own. Right up there with making Mother's Day cards in first grade or that essay in seventh grade about what his family meant to him. In grammar school he had just cried quietly at his desk, but by junior high he had been smart enough to keep his mouth shut and lie, drafting a creative writing assignment instead, fabricating a family complete with two loving parents, a little sister, and a dog named Roger. He thought about all the happy memories he had to choose from now, and how grateful he felt for each one.

Jess looked up and caught Jeremy staring. Jess frowned at him, the playfulness in his eyes belying his fake stern look as he tilted his head toward the man speaking at the front of the classroom, a subtle order for Jeremy to pay attention in class. Jeremy gave him a goofy and embarrassed smile. Jess smiled back, before turning his attention back to where Mason was lecturing at the front of the classroom. Jeremy did the same. It was so cool having a teacher who told his students to call him by his first name. It was so cool being in college, where teachers treated students like grown ups.

"- three pages double spaced by next Tuesday. Just something small and easy to give me an idea of what you guys can do and where we're starting from. Does that sound good?"

Jeremy listened to the collective expression of assent from the students around him as they started packing up their laptops and notebooks. It had been Jeremy's experience in high school that any assignment of homework was traditionally met by low voiced grumbling, but college was different so far. Based on this first class, at least, students seemed much more interested in what they were learning and much more mature in general than their high school counterparts. He got the feeling college was going to be good.

"All right, then. I'll see you all back here on Thursday morning. May the rest of your day be as enjoyable as your first class!" Mason smiled as the students rose and filed out the door.

Jess already had his notebook put away in his messenger bag, small grin on his face, as he stood waiting for Jeremy to put his laptop away and join him. Jeremy got up, threw his backpack over one shoulder and clapped Jess on the arm excitedly. "That was fun, right?"

Jess laughed as they walked out of class. "It wasn't too bad. It's possible that this whole college thing won't be too terrible."

They walked down the hall, out the door and into the sunshine. "So, what memory are you going to write about?" Jeremy asked.

"Hmm…..I'm not sure. Maybe the day I adopted Winston."

Jeremy laughed.

"What?" Jess asked innocently. "He was my first official child. It was a pretty big day for me when I adopted his fuzzy little ass."

"Huh. I suppose that's true. Maybe I'll write about the first time I called Liz grandma." Jess scoffed lightly, and Jeremy shrugged nonchalantly. "I mean, I never in my life had a grandmother before and always kind of wanted one. And, she was the first person in the family to ask me to call them by a family name."

Jess feigned seriousness as he nodded at him. "Sounds completely reasonable. It looks like good 'ol, I'm so cool you can call me by my first name is in for two solid essays." Jeremy started to laugh, and Jess smiled at him. He felt his father's arm wrap around his shoulders, pulling him a step toward Jess's side, before Jess froze, as if realizing his mistake, and removed his arm. He gave Jeremy a sheepish grin. "Sorry about that. I should probably try to keep my hands off you when we're at school, huh?"

"It's all right. It's not going to embarrass me to have people know my dad likes hugging me."

Jeremy looked toward Jess to find the man smiling warmly at him. "Ok. Good to know." "Aren't you sticking around campus? You have another class this afternoon, right?"

"Yeah, I do. But, I'll walk you back to your car." They had driven in together that morning and Jeremy was going to take the bus home after his mid-afternoon class, while Jess drove back to Stars Hollow for a late start to his shift at the bookstore.

"Ok." They started down the walkway toward the outer edge of campus, where the parking garages were located. They passed students sitting on benches, sprawled on grassy patches of lawn and standing around talking in groups. Jeremy knew it was lame to be so reliant on Jess, but this was the best first day of school he could remember in a long time. He liked having someone to walk through campus with and talk to. He wasn't lying about not being embarrassed to be seen with his dad, but he also knew that other students wouldn't necessarily think Jess was his dad anyway. "So." Jess said. "I wanted to see if you had any plans for Saturday night."

"Um…...I don't think so, why?"

"And, you're working the early shifts at the diner on weekends now, right?"

"Yeah. For now, at least. Why? What's up on Saturday?"

"Well, I was thinking it might be a good night for you, me and Mallory to all hang out. I was thinking she could come by the apartment, we could order pizza, maybe play some Scrabble." Jeremy shot a look at Jess and saw him watching him carefully. "What do you think?"

Jeremy knew he didn't have a good reason to say no. He had no plans. He wasn't working. He wasn't sure why he felt so hesitant. It could maybe even be fun. "Uh, yeah. That sounds good." He knew he should stop talking, but somehow couldn't. "Or, you know, if you guys wanted to be alone, I could go out to a movie or something, or stay over at Luke's."

That earned him a small frown. "Jeremy, the whole point is for us to all spend time together, not for her to just see the apartment and meet Winston."

"Ok. Yeah. I was just saying…" He met Jess's eye and they smiled at each other. Jeremy laughed. "Sorry, yeah, it sounds good. As long as you don't mind getting your ass kicked at Scrabble in front of your girlfriend."

Jess laughed. "Oh, yeah? We'll see about that, kid." Jess gave him a warm, pleased smile, and Jeremy soaked it up. "All right, here we are." They were at the entrance to the parking garage where Jess had parked the Mazda that morning. "Have a good rest of your first day at school, Jeremy. I'll see you at home. Be smart. Learn lots."

"Ok." Jeremy nodded to Jess as the man gave him one last smile before turning and heading into the parking garage. An uneasy feeling settled in Jeremy's stomach. He couldn't tell if it was from being left alone on campus or the thought of spending Saturday night with Jess and Ms. Howard.

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"Hey, Jeremy, how was work?" Jeremy looked up from where he was crouched greeting Winston at the door to see Jess, dressed in sweats and a tee shirt, dusting the bookcase that Jeremy had given him for Father's Day with a rag. The bookcase had been a well received gift. Jess had thanked him profusely, telling him how much he loved it and appreciated all the work that had gone into it and complimenting the craftsmanship. And it was a nice bookcase, Jeremy could admit that. He really liked the design. It was made from light colored wood, with the back of each shelf only rising a couple of inches, enough to keep a book from sliding out the back, but giving it a less cumbersome profile, allowing the wall to be seen through each shelf. But, since they only owned a handful of books between them post-fire and used the library for most of their reading material, the bookcase sat largely empty of books.

On Father's Day, Jess had placed the one book he owned, the copy of The Subsect that Rory had given him at Christmas, on the middle of the top shelf and turned to Jeremy asking, that's fine, right? That doesn't make me look pretentious or anything does it? They had both laughed at the absurdity of it. Jeremy had added the few books Jess had bought him for school over the last semester. The next day Jess had come home with a small potted plant for the top shelf and three picture frames that now sat on various shelves in the bookcase displaying the photos of Jeremy holding Leelee last Thanksgiving, Jeremy hugging Doula on his birthday, and Jess and Jeremy at the courthouse the day of Jeremy's adoption that had all previously hung on the refrigerator. The bookcase still looked like a mostly unnecessary piece of furniture, but Jeremy had appreciated Jess's effort all the same.

The best thing about the bookcase in Jeremy's opinion, after all the hours he had got to spend building it, just him and Luke, was that it had been the catalyst for a running joke between Luke and Jess. After seeing how empty the bookcase was, Luke had snuck into the apartment one day while Jess was at work and placed one of his copies of Taylor's memoir on the shelf with the handful of other books. It had taken Jess a week to notice the new addition. Jeremy could remember sitting on the couch reading a book and trying to look casual and inconspicuous as he watched Jess stop short in front of the bookcase and bark out a laugh. Jess had brought the book down to the diner the next day telling Luke that it looked like he might have lost something. Luke had feigned surprise, hey, that's where that went! I've been looking all over for that thing! Jeremy had tried not to giggle as he watched the exchange. Luke kept the book in the diner and every so often it turned up on their bookshelf again, sometimes snuck onto the shelf by Luke and sometimes by Jeremy. It never stopped making all three of them laugh. The book was currently in Jeremy's room and he had been debating putting it on the shelf again at some point over the weekend.

"It was good." Jeremy rubbed Winston's head as he spoke. "Kirk and Lulu brought Tulip in for the first time. She's really cute. Everyone was making a big deal over her, especially Luke."

"I still can't believe they named their kid Tulip." Jess said. "Tulip. Leelee. Doula. It's like everyone in this town has lost their damn mind when it comes to naming babies."

"It goes with Petal. Kirk said they wanted to stick to a theme for their kids' names."

Jess scoffed. "Which would make sense, except, oh wait, Petal's a pig."

"It's crazy to see such a small baby. Like, I still think of Leelee as being so little, but she's already so much bigger than when I first met her. I kind of forgot about how small she used to be until I saw Tulip. It's kind of nuts how much she's grown in so little time. And, I bet she's grown a lot more since they've been in London."

"Kids do grow up way too fast." Jess said. "My kid practically became an adult overnight."

Jeremy smiled. "Oh, and TJ brought Doula in for breakfast. Liz was already at the Renaissance Faire and TJ and Doula were going to join her later. He was asking me when we're going to use the tickets they gave me for my birthday."

"Oh, he was, was he?"

"Yeah. I guess the fair going on now is the closest location to Stars Hollow and it goes until the second weekend in October. I told him that we'd go to this one before it's over."

"Okie dokie, you and Winston have fun with that." Jess returned to dusting.

Jeremy smiled. He gave Winston one last pat and stood up. "I meant you and me we, not me and Winston we."

Jess looked back at Jeremy innocently. "Oh, you did? Huh. You weren't very clear. And, it looks like Winston thought the same thing I did and got his hopes up." Jess shook his head sadly as he watched Winston excitedly following Jeremy in his normal welcome home routine. "I'm afraid if you invite me now instead of taking him, he'll be crushed."

"Maybe we can talk about this again when you're in a more serious mood." Jeremy was standing behind Jess now, watching him. "What are you doing? Dusting?"

Jess grinned at Jeremy over his shoulder but remained in a squat in front of the bookcase as he dusted the lower shelves. "Look at those critical thinking skills! And after only one week of college! I feel like I'm getting my money's worth already."

"Ha ha. I've just never seen you dust before." Jeremy remembered then that tonight was the night that Ms. Howard was coming over. Not that he had forgotten, not when he had thought about it on and off all week, but it had slipped his mind while he was at work. "Are you seriously dusting because your girlfriend's coming over?" Jeremy wouldn't have said he felt tense or upset, and it surprised him when he heard something that wasn't exactly pleasant in his voice.

Jess must have heard it, too. His dusting hand paused, but he didn't turn around. Jeremy knew he was processing how to react and rushed to cut him off, wanting to make up for his tone. Tonight would be fine. He was an adult. He didn't have to make the situation weird and uncomfortable like a bratty little kid. "Uh, is there anything I can do to help? Anything you want me to clean?"

Jess turned then and aimed a small, grateful smile at Jeremy. "I appreciate the offer, but I've got the cleaning under control. I already hit the bathroom and the kitchen, I'm just going to straighten up in here a little, and I'll wait to vacuum until you take Winston out." Winston walked up to Jess at the mention of his name, tail wagging and nose lifted, sniffing toward Jess's face. Jess reached up a hand to pet under the dog's chin. "You don't like the vacuum, do you buddy? No you don't. It wrecks your zen, doesn't it, little guy?" Jeremy smiled as he watched his father play with the dog. Everything was fine. Everything would continue to be fine. Jess turned back to Jeremy, as he got to his feet. "I'm thinking I'll have time to finish up here and fit in a run and a shower before Mallory gets here." Jeremy could tell something serious was coming from the way Jess was looking at him now. "I really appreciate you hanging out with us tonight, Jeremy. I want you to know that. It really means a lot to me. To Mallory, too. So, thank you."

Jeremy nodded, feeling decidedly more stressed than when he walked in, though he knew he didn't have a valid reason for the feeling. "Yeah. Of course. It's no problem." He looked away from Jess's warm smile, down at Winston, over toward the newly dust-free bookcase. "So, uh, I'm going to jump in the shower. I smell like fries."

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Jess was in his room changing into his running clothes and thinking. He still had over an hour before Mallory was due over. That was plenty of time to get in a few miles and still have time to pretty himself up before Mallory arrived. He had some anxiety about tonight and he knew that a good run would help him calm down and feel better about everything. He didn't know what exactly he was worried about. Mallory was a good person. So was Jeremy. And, they already knew and liked each other. It wasn't like he expected anything to go wrong per se, he was just worried that it wouldn't go as well as he wanted it to. That things would be strained and tense. He got the distinct vibe that Jeremy wasn't as ok with him dating his former guidance counselor, maybe with him dating anyone at all, as he let on. Jess remembered Jeremy admitting that he wasn't entirely comfortable with the situation, but he wanted to try because he wanted Jess to be happy, and the memory brought with it a certain amount of pressure and guilt.

Jess was worried about things going so poorly tonight that he would need to do something, make some kind of change, he wasn't exactly sure what, to help Jeremy adjust. The last thing he wanted was for Jeremy to be uncomfortable in his own home. Jess had figured that pizza and Scrabble was a good way to spend their first evening together since he knew they both liked Scrabble and the game would give them something to focus on instead of just making conversation. He knew he shouldn't be this worried, knew it was stupid. Even if tonight was the picture of social awkwardness, even if it was Bop-It level bad, he wasn't ready to make any decisions, or even consider ending things with Mallory, based on one evening. This might be a slow process of adjustment and that was ok. He felt like he was more anxious than the situation strictly called for, but he hadn't been able to think of anything else all day, and all that thinking had left him feeling a little uneasy.

Jess walked out of his room to see Jeremy lifting a refrigerator magnet to take a drawing off the fridge. It was the only one up there, the childlike family portrait that Jeremy had recreated and given Jess for Christmas after his original drawing had been lost in the fire back in Philly. He crossed the apartment to the kitchen. "Hey, what are you doing with that?"

Jeremy looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Huh? Oh, this?" The boy looked down at the drawing in his hands. "Uh, I was just helping you clean up for when Ms. Howard gets here."

"Oh, yeah?" Jess raised an eyebrow and gestured toward the paper in Jeremy's hand. "Was that particularly dirty?"

"Huh? Oh, no, I just, uh….."

Jess held out one hand and tried to keep his tone playful and light. "I believe that belongs to me and I'd like to put it back up if you don't mind." Jeremy didn't comply immediately, as Jess had been expecting. The boy looked down at the picture he was still holding, then back at Jess with such a wounded and annoyed look in his eye that Jess became momentarily aware of the vulnerability of the piece of paper, as he imagined the boy ripping the sheet in half. But, Jeremy didn't do that. Of course, he didn't. He handed it over to Jess.

"I don't want that up when Ms. Howard gets here, ok?" Jeremy said, his tone part defiant and part pleading.

Jess looked down at the picture in his hands, the crude depictions of himself, Jeremy and Winston that greeted him every day when he opened the fridge, the captions that he had accused Jeremy of getting backwards at Christmas, 'best dad ever' over the cartoon Jess and 'luckiest kid ever' over the depiction of Jeremy. He could still remember Jeremy telling him that art was all about perspective, and that according to the boy's own, the captions were true and correct as they were.

"Ok?" Jeremy repeated, sounding impatient. "Jess? Did you hear me?"

Jess looked up feeling slightly hurt at the boy's tone and a little annoyed himself. He wanted to tell Jeremy to take it easy, to just calm down and relax, but he knew that had never been a helpful thing for him to hear when he had been Jeremy's age, had only incited more irritation and attitude rather than serving to calm him down. He kept his voice even and level. "I heard you. May I ask why?"

"Are you serious?" Jeremy was looking at him like he was surprised at the stupidity of the question. "Because it's embarrassing." He spoke like he was explaining the obvious, and not particularly enjoying having to do it.

"I love this drawing. It makes me happy every time I see it."

"Yeah. I know. And, I'm fine with it being up when it's just us. But, not when you're having someone over. Can we please just put it back up in the morning? Or whenever Ms. Howard leaves if she's staying over."

Jess sighed. "She isn't staying over." But, Jess was hoping for a time when she would. A time when maybe she would spend a lot of time in his apartment, the three of them existing as kind of a family, and he hated the idea of having to hide something that meant so much to him from her. "What embarrasses you about this, Jeremy?"

Jeremy rolled his eyes, but Jess could see the anxiety beneath the bad attitude. "It looks like a little kid did it. She's going to think I actually draw like that, like I'm some kind of moron."

"No, she's not. She'll understand what you were going for here-"

"It's ridiculous. And it's private. And I don't want it up."

Jess frowned. "I don't think it's ridiculous."

"Fine, but it is private. Can you at least give me that much? The stuff I wrote was for you. It was just meant for us. Can't we just stick it in a drawer or something when people are over?"

"Luke and April have both seen it and that didn't bother you, did it?"

"No, but that's different. They're family. I don't want Ms. Howard seeing it. Or, well, anyone else really, I mean, it's not about her, specifically. I just don't want anyone else seeing it."

"Ok. I hear you." Jess felt his heart sinking, but his philosophy when it came to Jeremy and family stuff had long been, whatever makes Jeremy comfortable, and he knew right now was a chance for him to walk the walk. "If you're not comfortable with Mallory seeing the drawing, it'll go in my room for now. I'll put it in a drawer where she won't see it. Does that work?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"I never want to make you uncomfortable, Jeremy. Especially in your own home. You know that, right?"

Jeremy nodded. "Yeah. I know. Thanks for listening to me and understanding and everything."

"Sure." Jess wanted to reach out to his son, to put a hand on the back of his neck and kiss his head or pull the boy into a hug, but something about how Jeremy was carrying himself, the crossed arms, his body angled slightly away, warned Jess that the contact wouldn't be welcome. Instead, Jess carried the drawing back to his room before heading out for his run. He opened his sock and underwear drawer, but before he put the drawing in, he flipped it over and read the writing on the back, marking the date along with the description, the first time my son called me dad - 'best present ever'. He remembered that Christmas morning, just him and Jeremy before they had headed over to Luke's to celebrate with everyone else. He reflected on how he had thought the hard times were behind them now, that they had already weathered the worst, Jess's job loss, the fire, living hand to mouth in the motel, and taken the biggest risks, going through with the adoption and committing to each other as father and son. He felt like things should be easier now, and he wondered if it had been foolhardy to have rocked their little boat so soon by dating Mallory. Jess felt his mood dip even further. He really needed that run.

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Jeremy had the unsettled feeling he always got when he was stuck waiting for something to happen. Ms. Howard was supposed to get to the apartment at seven o'clock. It was now six forty. Jeremy was sitting on the couch trying to read his history textbook, but he couldn't concentrate. He was nervous. He really wanted Jess to get home. He wanted Jess to be home and out of the shower in time to welcome Ms. Howard when she arrived. He expected the evening to be awkward enough as it was and he really didn't want to add to that by having to make small talk alone with Ms. Howard until Jess was ready. He wondered if he was still supposed to call her Ms. Howard now that he had graduated and was seeing her as his dad's girlfriend instead of his guidance counselor. He didn't want to sound like a little kid if she was expecting him to start calling her Mallory, but he also didn't want to presume that level of familiarity when their previous relationship had been a professional one. He figured it was best to either call her Ms. Howard right away and let her invite him to call her Mallory, or to avoid the issue all together and work around directly addressing her at all, but he wasn't sure whether that would come across as rude. Jeremy sighed. He shouldn't be the one feeling so awkward when it wasn't even his date. But, on second thought, he realized that was the exact reason why he was feeling so awkward and anxious. It wasn't his date. He didn't even belong here. He was just going to be the third wheel and that was always awkward. He wondered whether Ms. Howard even wanted to do this or if Jess was pushing it on her, too.

Jeremy sighed. He put down his book and sat down on the floor next to Winston. The dog opened his eyes as Jeremy started petting him, shifting slightly, lifting one leg in the air to give Jeremy better access for belly rubs. Jeremy took a few deep breaths as he pet Winston. He was working on trying to be more optimistic and not letting his anxiety spiral out of control. He wasn't really sure how to do that, but he felt that being calm was a start. The deep breathing was helpful, as was petting Winston. Being around Winston always made Jeremy feel better. He had heard Jess say that it was impossible for him to be stressed or worried when he was running, and that was how Jeremy felt about being with Winston. Sitting here like this, watching Winston's ribcage rise and fall with his own peaceful breathing, the dog content to lay here with him and get petted, felt very soothing to Jeremy. He thought about how different his childhood would have been if he had had a pet for comfort during that long, lonely stretch of time when he hadn't had a parent or a family.

Winston's tail started to wag and Jeremy looked toward the door. He hadn't heard footsteps on the stairs, but Winston's nose was always the first indication that Jess was on his way up. Winston climbed stiffly to his feet, his tail wagging more excitedly and headed toward the door, Jeremy forgotten in the dog's haste to do his duty and greet a returning member of his pack. Jeremy heard footsteps then, and soft voices, a laugh that wasn't Jess's as the door started to open. He felt his stomach tense. Then Jess and Ms. Howard were standing in the doorway, Winston tapping around them excitedly, nails clicking on the hardwood floor, as he investigated this new person.

"There's my good little boy!" Jess said to Winston. Ms. Howard was bending down, holding out a hand to Winston, who was sniffing it enthusiastically. Jess looked toward Jeremy, and Jeremy had a bad feeling that Jess was about to make his regular joke about Jeremy being his other good little boy. "Hey, Jeremy, look who I found on my way home."

Jeremy realized what he must look like sitting on the floor by himself doing nothing and got to his feet. He wiped his hands down the side of his jeans in case he had any dog hair on them. Was he supposed to shake hands? He wasn't sure.

"Hi Jeremy." Ms. Howard was looking at him with a big smile on her face. She was crouching now and had one hand on Winston's back petting him while he sniffed around near her side, where she was holding a white box in her other hand. She wore a long green open cardigan over a cream colored tee shirt and a pair of jeans and it felt odd to see her so casually dressed. "It's good to see you. How have you been?"

"Uh, hi Ms. Howard. I'm good. How are you?" He felt awkward, like a small child speaking to an adult. He hoped he hadn't come across as ridiculous as he felt. It felt weird having someone from school in his home. At least her hands were occupied so he hadn't had to figure out the whole hand shaking thing.

Ms. Howard stood up then and Jeremy could see that she was holding a white Weston's bakery box in the hand that hadn't been on Winston. "You can call me Mallory if you want to, Jeremy. Since, you've graduated high school and I'm not here on official guidance counselor business. But, either way works. I answer to both." If her smile hadn't been so warm, Jeremy would have questioned whether she was making fun of him.

"Oh, ok. Sorry."

She smiled. Her attention was all on Jeremy, while Jess was looking back and forth between them. "It's ok. I know it can be tricky to know what to call someone when you see them in a new context for the first time." She turned to include Jess. "Thanks for having me over tonight. I've been looking forward to this all week."

Jeremy let out a breath that was half scoff, half laugh. He hadn't meant to. His awkwardness has manifested itself in the noise all on its own. He saw Jess shoot him a slightly stern look that wouldn't be noticeable unless a person knew to look for the tension around his smile and the lack of crinkly skin around his eyes that told Jeremy that his smile wasn't authentic. If Mallory noticed, she didn't let on, her bright smile didn't falter.

Jess addressed Mallory. "Thanks for coming over. We've been looking forward to this, too. Haven't we, Jeremy?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course." Jeremy pasted a smile on his face and made sure not to make any other sounds.

"I brought dessert." Mallory held up the bakery box in both hands. "Weston's famous rum balls."

"Thanks, Mal." Jess took the box from her. "You do know Jeremy's only eighteen, right? I would think a professional educator would be a little more responsible about handing out rum balls all willy-nilly to innocent children." Jess smirked, and raised the hand not holding the pastries playfully, palm out toward Mallory. "Hey, I'm not judging, I'm just sayin. I'd hate to have to report you to the school board or something for contributing to the delinquency of a minor."

Jeremy watched Ms. Howard, Mallory, grin at Jess and smack him on the chest lightly. "Yeah, keep giving me crap and we'll see who doesn't get any rum balls, pal."

Jeremy felt a tightening in his stomach as he watched them. It felt unsettling somehow to see how close they were. It's not like Jeremy didn't know they'd been dating all summer, and how much Jess obviously liked her, but it still caught him off guard to see Jess acting this familiar with someone. Shortening Mallory's name, giving her the smirk and playful attitude that Jeremy had only ever seen him use around family, mostly himself and Luke, the comfort level between them when Mallory had smacked him. He knew they had probably kissed hello when they had run into each downstairs. It's not like he didn't know from listening to Jess how into Mallory his dad was, but seeing them like this, in this fully developed relationship, with comfortable intimacy that Jess had been cultivating seemingly behind Jeremy's back, it felt different somehow, and strange. Jeremy felt a twinge of loneliness.

"Well, I need a shower-" Jess started.

"Yeah, you really do." Mallory agreed.

"Seriously?" Jess asked her. "It's like that?"

"Yep." Mallory laughed at Jess's comically offended expression. "I love you, but, yeah, it's like that. You smell kind of rotten."

"I love you, too. That's the only reason I put up with this abuse." Jess gave Mallory a quick kiss on the lips, and Jeremy watched them both smile affectionately at each other as they pulled apart, as if no one else was in the room. Jeremy's mind was still stuck on their casual I love you's. Jess handed the pastry box to Jeremy. "All right. I'm going to go shower. Can you go put these in the kitchen? And, can you grab the credit card off my nightstand and order the

pizza while I'm in the shower? I'm starving."

Jeremy nodded as he accepted the box. "Yeah, sure."

"Thanks, kid." Jeremy felt Jess's hand, slightly damp with sweat, cupping the back of his neck and he reflexively dipped his head in anticipation of the kiss that always followed. He was instantly embarrassed to realize that his conditioned response had kicked in in front of Mallory and he abruptly pulled back from Jess. Jess gave him an odd look, but Jeremy couldn't tell if Jess was embarrassed for himself at Jeremy's rejection or if he felt sorry for Jeremy for having assumed Jess wanted to kiss him to begin with. Either way, it didn't leave Jeremy feeling good. Jess gave him a small smile and turned to include Mallory. "Ok. So, you guys order whatever you like. I'm good with anything. But, get a salad, too, ok? I'll just be five minutes." Jess turned and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

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Jess showered as quickly as possible, barely toweling off his hair. He felt like an ass for being late, and now for leaving Jeremy to entertain his company alone while he showered. He had lost track of time during his run. He hadn't realized quite how much stress relief he had needed until he had gotten out there, and by the time he realized how late it was, he had had too much distance to cover back home to arrive on time. And, now, fuck! He realized he hadn't brought clothes into the bathroom with him. He was going to have to run to his room in just a towel. He wouldn't have thought twice about this at Mallory's apartment, possibly would have left the towel in the bathroom and walked through her apartment naked if it was late and the curtains were drawn. But, he never did this around Jeremy. They were both good about bringing their clothes in with them and getting dressed in the bathroom after they showered. At first, he'd been cognizant of not wanting to make Jeremy uncomfortable by running around in just a towel or even just boxers. He had remembered at least that much from the foster care classes, that you never knew what a kid had been through and whether the sight of a half-naked adult would be triggering. He wasn't worried about anything like that now with Jeremy, but he felt stupid about this happening for the first time when Mallory was over. He was afraid of how it would look, as if Jeremy's comfort wasn't important to him or the unspoken norms of their household no longer mattered just because his girlfriend was over.

Jess sighed and wrapped a towel around his waist. At least he lived in Luke's old room now and didn't need to run through the entire length of the apartment to get to his old bedroom. He opened the door and padded quickly across part of the living room and into his bedroom. He heard Mallory laugh and glanced over his shoulder to see Mallory and Jeremy sitting on opposite ends of the couch, two glasses of water on the coffee table in front of them, Winston at Jeremy's feet, a grin on Mallory's face and a serious expression that he couldn't read on Jeremy's. "Two more minutes. I forgot my clothes." He called as he closed himself into the bedroom. He felt like a shitty host. Or, more like a shitty co-host to Jeremy since he felt like his absence was likely making his son more uncomfortable than Mallory.

When Jess emerged the second time he was wearing jeans and a grey cotton sweater pulled over a tee shirt and feeling much better about things. His hair had had better days, but he knew it wouldn't be wise to take the time to style it. Mallory looked up at him from the couch with a smile and Winston raised his head and thumped his tail against the mattress of his bed a couple of times. Jeremy was the only one who wasn't giving off happy to see him vibes as he approached. Jess wondered what the boy was thinking.

A phone on the coffee table buzzed and Jess watched Jeremy pick it up and stare at the screen. "That's Luke." The boy kept his eyes trained on his phone as he spoke. "The pizza's here. I'll go down and get it." A beat later, Jeremy was on his feet and out the door.

"Thanks, Jeremy." Jess watched him go and turned back toward Mallory, running a hand through his damp hair. "Am I totally fucking this up?"

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Jeremy paused outside the door, not meaning to eavesdrop, but hearing Jess's voice all the same, his question clearly cementing the teams, Jess and Mallory on one, and Jeremy on his own, again, the person to be discussed and managed, the one on the outside. He walked down the stairs feeling naive for believing things could have gone any other way.