Rocket Collecting Dust :
Chapter 3 : No Home, No Heart

Chapter Details
Pairings : EirixShuichi, TakixShuichi
Rating : 13+
Warnings : Mentions of rape, guns, and some course language.
Chapter Style : Introspective, Eiri, Hiro.
Chapter Notes : Chapter 3. A bit of a slow moving chapter, but I wanted to get some more character build up in. It's a pretty long chapter, consisting of 3 parts. And thank you for the helpful comments, to those of you that have reviewed.

Rocket Collecting Dust
Chapter 3, Part 1 : Coffee and Clocks

Everything that was being said to me in that hour took bricks out of the wall I'd been building since Kitazawa. It scared me to be so close to that edge, and I wondered just how much of me they could see. I was coming undone, and due to my tremendous luck I had an ex-fiancee and the best friend of my current lover to see what ugly monster I had hidden beneath the veil.

For the first time in a long time I had no plan. No course of action. Just an overwhelming urge to muster what strength I could and strangle Shuichi's location out of Hero. But I couldn't do that, because I knew, in my heart, Hiro was right. I couldn't just barge in. This was something that needed to be taken care of at home, with inside locked doors, and away from Taki's influence.

2:47 am, and still raining. The red of the clock's light burned my eyes. I was thankful that Hiro's apartment had such insufferable lighting, because my head was spinning, and a trip to the hospital was not what I needed. I needed him in my arms.

"What do we do?"

I chastised myself, but I knew Hiro had more complete and sufficient answers than I would ever be able to find in my own twisted head. He was the golden light to Shuichi, and right now, there was no other one in sight.

"We go to your house and wait. You and I."

"Wait for what" I shot back. I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but I had a sickening feeling that Shuichi wouldn't be coming home. I could see him lying in a gutter somewhere, the bruises and cuts stinging against the cement.

I began to remember noticing those small details, the Shu always passed off as his clumsiness. I had believed it, there was no fault in that, for it was a world renowned fact that Shu was only graceful on stage. He couldn't cook, he couldn't slip into positions in bed. . . . but he could sing, and he could heal. If only he knew how to turn that power on himself.

Another bit of information I'd neglected racked my head. He wouldn't fuck me. It sounded foolish and selfish on the inside, but I knew why I had thought it. What scars, what damage lay dormant under those cloths, marring that beautiful perfect flesh?

Rocket Collecting Dust
Chapter 3, Part 2 : Time kills us all

"Hey, Eiri, stay with us."

Somehow I'd managed to crawl into my car, by Hiro was driving.

Hiro's driving my car? I am fucked up. Where are we?

"Just outside your apartment."

I jumped, and Hiro smiled, ushering me out of the car.

"Talking out loud is nothing new to me. For god's sake, I've known Sh-"

And he stopped short. I knew why. Even hearing that name without knowing that Shu was safe and sound hurt like a bitch.

I leaned against the car, regaining my balance, and waited for the sidewalk to stop spinning. When my head settled we went inside the complex, and headed up to my room. Hiro ran ahead of me, and I sulked behind. I didn't feel like opening the door to an empty house, when I kept hoping that maybe Shu would be inside, and Hiro would scream "Gotcha."

My stomach dropped a little more in disappointment when I saw the lights were still off, and there was no bumbling pink ball of energy waiting to run me down. I wanted to give Hiro that deck in the face for tricking me, but there was no use. There was no trick. Shu and I were really crawling around in the gutter, and I couldn't fix it yet.

Hiro shuffled off to the kitchen to prepare more coffee, and I stood in the living room. Our living room. I silently thanked and cursed Shuichi for decorating the house with so many pictures of us. It was comforting, but it was the trick I didn't want to come. The only purple eyed devil left was one printed on paper.

I sauntered to a chair and fell into it, waiting for Hiro to return with the much appreciated caffeine. I lit a cigarette, but it didn't taste the same without Shuichi criticizing my habits.

Pull yourself together. It's not even morning yet, and you're already assuming he's never coming back.

He's not.

I took a slow drag from my cigarette and allowed my head to fall back against the chair.

I'm standing behind his chair, in a beautiful restaurant, and I pull it back allowing Shuichi to sit. He smiles at me, and I take my place across from him. His eyes light up, and he asks the waiter for wine. My favorite. I try to taste it, but all I can taste is strawberries, and I like it. I nod my head in acceptance, and then I look at him. His words are muffled, but I can tell he's happy. His eyes glimmer, and he keeps talking, not knowing I can't hear him.

The tables starts to grow longer, and I reach out towards him. He keeps talking, and I keep getting farther away. It's getting darker, and all I can see is him, glowing and laughing. Then he's crying, and I'm on top of him. His face is smothered against the carpet, and there is that bottle of wine, strewn across the floor. I'm above it now, watching him die and he keeps his eyes downcast as he cleans up the shards of glass embedded in the carpet and in his skin.

"Kitazawa."

Rocket Collecting Dust
Chapter 3, Part 3 : Gone Away

"Eiri! Wake up." I scream. He jolts up, smacking our heads together, and causing my to land hard on my ass in front of him.

He looks startled, which I could have guessed he would be. I can only imagine what disgusting thing he was dreaming. He winces, and scopes the room, quietly gathering where he is.

It's dawn, and the morning light is seeping in through the wall height windows, warming the room. The coffee he spilled when he fell asleep the night before has left a muddy stain in the carpet, and his cigarette ashes cover one of the arms of the chair. He familiarizes, and then sits up, ready to ask the question I don't want to answer.

"Where's Shuichi?" he asks, and I let my head fall forward in defeat.

"He never came home."

The power of those 5 words hits him hard, and I almost see a tear forming in one of his golden eyes. He slumps back, closing his eyes, and obviously attempts to push the fear and anger deep down into his heart. We sit there in silence for 5 minutes before he gains some string of strength, and stands. He stretches, and calmly walks to his room. I hear something click, and I know he got out his gun. I can remember Shuichi complaining about having a gun in the house, so many years before. But now, I agree with Shuichi. A gun should never be in a house with Eiri Yuki.

"Stop." I order when he returns to the living room.

"What do you expect me to do? Just sit here? Wait for the obituary?" He shoots and me, and I swear I can taste the loathing seeping gout of his veins.

"What is Shu going to do with you in jail!?" I retort, standing to meet his impatient gaze. He stands as if stone, but I know that this stone has some very large cracks.

"I won't shoot him, if I don't have to."

"Your definition of "have to" is exceedingly different from that of the eyes of the law."

"I don't care."

Unfortunately, this stone has seemed to patch up those cracks when he needed to. I knew there was nothing I could possibly do to stop him, and so I nodded, and we walked out to the car. I tried the driver's seat, but he shoved me out of the way. I stood a bit bewildered for a second, until he screamed at me to get into the passengers seat. I obliged, regretfully.

"So, where to."

"I don't want to tell you."

"You've got no choice."